


Break the Distance

by CommanderHeartEyes071215



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Artist Clarke, F/F, Friends to Lovers, Long Distance Relationship, actress lexa, online meeting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-31
Updated: 2018-11-05
Packaged: 2018-12-21 23:25:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 136,894
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11954880
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CommanderHeartEyes071215/pseuds/CommanderHeartEyes071215
Summary: Clarke just needed to rant about her shitty ex-boyfriend. She didn't expect anyone to reply to her tweet. It wasn't supposed to become more than that.Lexa just wanted a semblance of normalcy in her hectic life. She wasn't supposed to develop a friendship with the girl whose ex-boyfriend was apparently an asshole.The long distance/celeb AU literally no one asked for ;)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'm back with another story :D I'm very excited about this one and I hope you will like it ;)

 

 

Clarke walked into the apartment she had been sharing with her best friend for almost two years now, "I cannot believe that asshole" she muttered as she angrily opened the fridge and retrieved a beer bottle.

Raven looked up from the magazine she was reading, feet resting on the coffee table, "What did he do this time?" she raised an eyebrow.

Clarke pushed Raven's legs off the coffee table and slumped into the couch, "That douchebag had the audacity to fucking cheat on me" she took a long gulp of her beer.

Raven got up from her seat, "Where the fuck is he?" she asked, "Clarke, I swear, I'm going to make him regret the day he was born"

Clarke sighed, "I appreciate it but don't bother, Rae..." she waved a dismissive hand, "He's not worth your energy"

Raven slumped back onto the couch, one hand resting on the blonde's knee, "So you finally dumped him" she said. It was more a statement than a question.

Clarke nodded, "Should have done it a long time ago" she mumbled, "God, I am so stupid"

Raven shook her head, "You're not stupid. You wanted to believe Finn when he told you he would never hurt you again" she said, "I'm just glad you finally realized how much of a scumbag he is. Cheers to that" she lifted her own beer to clink it against Clarke's.

"You're right" Clarke said, "I'm fucking amazing and if he can't see that, then that's his loss" she grinned to herself, taking a big gulp of her drink.

"Amen to that" Raven raised her beer in approval.

Clarke picked up her computer and opened the twitter app, ready to rant about it, knowing it would help ease the anger she felt in that moment. She just needed to direct it somewhere and putting it in a tweet seemed like the best thing to do right now.

"You're going to tweet about it, aren't you?" Raven said and the smile could be heard in her voice.

Twitter had become Clarke's way of dealing with her issues by ranting about it on the app. It might not have been the most conventional way to do it but it worked and it was all that mattered to her.

"Absolutely" Clarke smirked, opening a fresh tweet and starting to aggressively type down on the keyboard.

"Alright, princess" Raven laughed, "Just don't break the computer. That shit costs a lot"

Clarke raised an eyebrow, "Rae, you could fix a broken computer while being blindfolded if I asked you to" she pointed out.

"True" the latina grinned, "I promised some guy I would help him with a virus on his computer. Are you gonna be okay without me?" she asked.

Clarke nodded, "Yeah, yeah" she said, "Do your thing. Don't worry about me" she smiled at her best friend.

Raven smiled and headed towards the door, "And remember, you are the sexiest, funniest, most talented person in the whole wide world and it's only a matter of time before everyone sees it" she said before exiting the apartment.

Clarke smiled, realizing once again how lucky she was to have Raven in her life. She pressed on the send button and took another chug of her beer.

**princess** _@griffindor : Some guys really ain't shit. Any advice on how to find someone decent to date? because so far, my love life has been as catastrophic as putting a metal fork in a working microwave_

She put her beer on the arm of the couch before getting up and heading to the bathroom to wipe at the mascara stains on her cheeks. She refused to let what he did affect her in any way. She wasn't in love with him and shouldn't be crying over some asshole who couldn't keep it in his pants longer than three days. She splashed water onto her face and looked at her reflection in the mirror. She rearranged her hair and nodded once at herself before leaving the bathroom.

When she opened her computer again, she noticed she had three new notifications. One retweet and one like as well as one reply.

 **thecommander** _@loveislove : @griffindor Idk about dating guys but I recommend avoiding bars and clubs if you're trying to find love. You don't know what kind of creeps you could come across_

Her eyebrows shot up. She was taken aback that someone actually replied to her tweet. Usually she just tweeted without expecting anything to come out of it. She was surprised but pleasantly surprised.

 **princess** _@griffindor : @loveislove I actually met my ex in a bar so your comment seems more than relevant right now. He is indeed, an asshole. Thanks for the input_

She smiled and clicked on the person's profile. Their profile picture was one of a raccoon which Clarke had to admit was adorable and their header was a simple black background. She flicked through the tweets for a bit, finding out that the person seemed very passionate about topics such as homophobia and racism. She returned back to the top of the person's profile and hit the follow button.

A few seconds later, she received a notification informing her that _@loveislove_ had followed her back and had responded to one of her tweets.

 **thecommander** _@loveislove : @griffindor glad I could be of any help (I think. I'm not sure if it was actually helpful)_

She smiled at the person's comment and started typing another one.

 **princess** _@griffindor : @loveislove it was actually kind of helpful. Thank you :)_

She waited a few minutes but no reply came. She sighed and dropped on the couch, staring at the ceiling. She was slightly disappointed that her newfound distraction was now gone. Just as she was about to get up to make herself some food, the ding of a notification alerted her of a new message.

 **thecommander** _@loveislove : @griffindor well then, you're very welcome :) Also, don't let this one bad experience make you feel like you're not deserving of love or that you'll never find it_

Clarke read that message three times over and her smile grew progressively. She found it extremely nice that a complete stranger would say this and she had to admit it reassured her somehow. Finn's cheating ass was long forgotten as she sat comfortably on her couch and pressed send on her next message, hoping not to creep out her interlocutor too much.

 **princess** _@griffindor :_ _@loveislove can I slide into your dms? (that sounded better in my head, I swear)_

**thecommander** _@loveislove : @griffindor please do_

A smile was etched on her features as she clicked on the person's profile and hit then direct messages button.

 **princess** _: hey, stranger_

She rolled her eyes at how cliché it was to say this but she had already pressed send. Too late now.

 **thecommander** _: hello, princess_

Clarke laughed at the use of the nickname her friends had found for her.

 **princess** : _any other advice on how to surround yourself with good people?_

She typed the question without really expecting a reply which is why the sound of a notification slightly took her aback. Soon she found herself chatting back and forth with this stranger whom she knew nothing about and she realized then that it had been a long time since she had genuinely enjoyed having a conversation with someone who isn't Raven or her other friends.

She learned that the person's name was Alexandria. _ **So it's a girl,**_ she thought to herself, ** _with a really pretty name._** She also learned that the girl was twenty-four years old, around her own age seeing as the blonde had just turned twenty-two a few weeks ago.

Alexandria told her she had an older sister and a younger brother whom she didn't see much because of her job. She didn't specify much more about her job and Clarke didn't want to pry. She herself told the girl that she was an only child but that she didn't feel lonely during her childhood because her dad has always been like a best friend to her.

That was pretty much all the basic topics they covered until Clarke heard some noise from the hallway. The sound of the keys turning in the lock made her look up. Her best friend was holding chinese take out in her hands while closing the door with her butt, "I know. I'm amazing" the latina quickly said, "Don't mention it"

"Ha. Ha. Ha. Very funny" Clarke said, "Now gimme some food, woman" she outstretched her hand to receive a bag and closed the lid of her computer.

 

 

\----------------

 

 

Lexa didn't know what prompted her to reply to this tweet which appeared on her timeline because one of the few people she followed had retweeted it. She was even more confused as to what went through her mind when she gave this girl a free pass to slide into her dms. She had created this account a couple months ago, wanting to experience twitter through the eyes of a normal girl and not through the eyes of Lexa Woods, the famous actress.

She was nothing but highly thankful to the fans who had brought her where she was today but she sometimes felt like a breather would be nice.

Recently, she had found herself in a bad place, hit by depression and she could only watch helplessly as her sister's heart broke a little more each time she found Lexa drunk in her trailer.

Anya had been the one to emit the idea to create a second account after Lexa shared her wish to lead some sort of normal life even if just for a few minutes. Albeit reticent at first, Lexa had ended up agreeing that it was a good idea.

Fast forward two months and she was now anonymously discussing with a girl she had only recently met. She couldn't believe how good it felt to be able to be herself and to have the complete assurance that the person she was talking to wasn't there because they were interested in her fame.

She didn't expect anything to come out of this twitter account but as she learned more about this girl, she felt content and in a way, temporarily relieved of her responsibilities as an actress to whom many people looked up to.

She was grateful for her fans, really. She would never spit on everything they've done for her but this, Clarke, she was the perfect distraction. The perfect way to finally have a semblance of normalcy.

She frowned when she realized how much she had been smiling in the past few minutes. In the past six months, she had found herself breaking down way more often than smiling. The last two months had been better but still. Besides, it wasn't like her to feel so comfortable with a stranger, let alone reveal personal information about herself.

She watched the small blue check mark next to her last message, indicating Clarke had seen it. She then looked at the time and saw that it had been ten minutes since she had sent it. She sighed.

"I should have known" she mumbled, thinking Clarke had grown tired of talking to her and had moved on. After all, Lexa was just some girl who happened to respond to her tweet. And Clarke was just some girl she had talked to for about one hour on the internet. Then why did it hurt to think that Clarke had already become disinterested in her?

The door was pushed open and Anya entered the apartment, holding a small stack of paper. She walked towards the living room and dropped the pages on the coffee table, "Here's your new script and we have to leave in about thirty minutes" she said before pulling out her phone to shoot a quick text to the producers of Lexa's show.

Lexa sighed. _ **Back to being Lexa Woods,**_ she mentally told herself. She reached forward and grabbed the script from her show, Fear The Walking Dead. They would soon start shooting the second half of the third season, "When do we shoot this episode?"

"Next week" Anya replied, finally looking up from her phone and sitting next to Lexa on the couch, "They expect you on set and ready by 5am on Monday so that you can immediately go into hair and makeup" she told the brunette, "They'll start by shooting the scene on page six"

Lexa skipped through the pages and her eyes flicked down the script. She groaned in annoyance, "Fucking hell" she muttered.

"What?" Anya asked, frowning.

"Did you know they were giving me another love interest?"

Anya shrugged, "I heard them say something about the possibility of a romance but it doesn't mean they'll give you a love interest"

"Well, looks like they did" she handed the script to Anya who rolled her eyes as she read it, "Why do they insist on my character being in a relationship? She was doing just fine on her own" Lexa complained.

Anya looked at her sympathetically, "I know, sis, but there's nothing we can do about it" she placed a hand on Lexa's knee.

"I'm just tired of promising female characters being reduced to love interests to satisfy the desires of the producers" she rubbed her eyes, "I need a drink" she mumbled, getting up.

Anya's brows furrowed in worry, "Lex, this isn't a good idea. You promised you would try to stop drinking" she got up and took the bottle of vodka away from Lexa's hands.

Lexa huffed, "I know, Anya" she rolled her eyes, "You're my manager, not my babysitter" she said, "You need to trust me a little more"

"I have lost count of all the times I found you drunk in your trailer in the past months, Lex" Anya sighed, clearly hurt by it, "Do you know how scary it was for me to not know whether or not you would be passed out when I entered your apartment?"

"I...I'm sorry" Lexa looked down at her hands, feeling ashamed. She never wanted to put her sister in such a position.

Anya sighed and placed the bottle back into one of the cupboards, "I'm sorry if I come off as overprotective sometimes but you're not just my client. You're my sister too"

"I know" Lexa said sadly, "I'm sorry. I promise I'll be careful" she told Anya, stepping forward to wrap her arms around her adoptive sister, "You're amazing and I wouldn't want anyone else as my manager"

Anya smiled and picked up her phone, checking once more the location of the convention. She then shot a text to make sure that the car was ready to leave and that the security was in order back at the hotel.

"Everything is ready" she told Lexa, "We're leaving in twenty minutes. A car is waiting downstairs"

Lexa nodded and pulled out her phone to switch back to her verified twitter account. She felt a pang of disappointment when she saw she still didn't get a reply from Clarke. She told herself that maybe it was for the best. In her line of work, she couldn't really afford to get attached to people who weren't part of her entourage. She simply didn't have enough time to dedicate to others.

 **Lexa Woods** _@lexawoods_ : _Hey, everyone! I hope you're having an amazing day! I'm excited to see some of you guys at the Fear The Walking Dead convention in Orlando! Much love ♡ **#FTWD**_

She smiled at the few replies she instantly saw popping up under her tweet and spent a few minutes liking and sometimes replying to some of them before locking her phone and getting up to grab her leather jacket to complete her outfit. She then followed Anya outside and towards the car that would drive them to the convention.

 

 

\---------------

 

 

Clarke giggled drunkenly as Raven threw noodles at her. The latina had pulled out a bottle of tequila, telling Clarke that she needed to loosen up a bit. With a little bit of prompting from Raven and her ex sending her messages un-relentlessly, she ended up agreeing. Neither of them remembered how many drinks they'd had but one thing was sure, they were beyond drunk.

Raven opened her twitter and gasped, "There's the....the c...the convention!" she yelled out, finally remembering the word she was looking for.

"The what?" Clarke frowned.

"The Fear The Walking Dead convention" Raven slurred, "With Lexa Woods" she smiled goofily, "She's soooo hot" she said as she flicked through the pictures and videos of the actress signing a few autographs near the entrance of the building.

Clarke groaned and dropped heavily on the couch, "My head is spinning" she mumbled, "Why did you make me drink so much?" she slurred.

Raven giggled and took one more sip of her drink before trying to take a few steps and falling on the ground unceremoniously, "Damn, that hurt" she decided against trying to push herself off the ground and decided to simply lie on it instead.

Clarke laughed then remembered something. She grunted and reached for her phone. She managed to open her dms after three tries and clicked on the last conversation she had had, reading the last message sent through her unfocused vision.

 **thecommander** _: I say good riddance. He obviously didn't deserve you_

Clarke remembered how the topic had switched back to her cheating ex-boyfriend before Raven had interrupted her conversation with Alexandria. She had read the message but didn't actually reply to it and now felt bad for leaving the girl on read for over an hour.

Through her hazy mind, she tried to form coherent sentences and her tongue poked out of her mouth in concentration as she typed on her keyboard.

"Who you talkin' to?" Raven slurred from her laying position on the floor.

"No one" Clarke lied, knowing Raven was too drunk to even question her about it.

**princess :** _Sorry fir leavungf yoi on rzad My ropmmate came bzck home ans i forhot to reply to youu_

She pressed send without reading the message she had just typed. She smiled contentedly, then locked her phone and let her head fall back. As soon as her head hit the cushion, she was out like a light.

 

 

\-----------------

 

 

Lexa breathed deeply and took a sip of her water bottle, preparing herself for the onslaught of questions she was going to have to answer during her panel. Thankfully she wasn't alone and some of her fellow castmates would be there as well except for one panel which was individual. Her being the most requested star from the show, not that she ever bragged about it, she had a more hectic schedule and was often required to attend more events to do the promotion of the show.

She felt a hand on her shoulder and turned to see Anya standing behind her, "Are you ready?" the dirty blonde haired girl asked.

Lexa nodded, smiling slightly to reassure her sister that she was ready to go out there.

"Great" Anya nodded, "Basically, it's going to be just like every other time. You go out there and take a seat once they call your name. Be careful not to give out any spoilers when you answer and try to interact with as many fans as possible"

"I always interact with fans" Lexa argued, "You know how much I love them, An"

Anya smiled, "I know" she nodded, "And that's one of the reason those people love you so much" she gestured at the panel room filled with fans of the show as well as some reporters.

Although she had been suffering from depression as of late, Lexa had always been careful to hide it as much as she could from her fans, not wanting them to worry about her. It was scary how good she was at hiding her emotions.

Lately, though, she felt that she was finally getting her life back on track. The past couple months hadn't been as bad as the four months before that.

They heard the cheers of the fans, meaning the host had walked up on stage and the panel would start soon. Lexa joined her castmates near the stage, hugging Frank and Colman in greeting.

One by one, they heard their name being called ; the producers, Kim, Mercedes, Frank, Colman, Lincoln, Luna and last but not least, Lexa. She took a seat next to Luna, smiling at the girl whom she hadn't seen before the panel started. Luna played a new character with whom Lexa's character had formed a tight friendship. The public liked Luna and her character a lot and so did Lexa. She was happy to work with the girl.

They replied to the usual questions about where the show was going and whether it would get more action-packed as we went. The first few questions were mainly answered by the producers as they were the ones who knew where they wanted to take the story.

As potential romance was brought up, Lexa tried to ignore the remainders of the bitterness that she had felt once she had read she would get a love interest.

"Well, you never know" one of the producers said, laughing a bit and Lexa had to repress an eye roll at this.

Her head snapped up when she heard her name being called, "Um, what?" she stammered out.

The host kindly and patiently repeated the question, "Can we expect any sort of development from Alicia this season?"

Lexa nodded, "Yeah, definitely" she told him and the audience, "We will see her become stronger as it goes and she will definitely have a few badass moments" she revealed.

The audience let out loud cheers and she grinned at their enthusiasm.

"I'm pretty happy about it too" she said, "I mean, I get to kill some zombies so it's fine by me, you know" she shrugged, smiling.

"I love you, Lexa!!" someone shouted among the crowd.

Lexa chuckled, "I love you too, whoever you are" she said into the mic throwing a wink in the general direction of where the voice came from.

A few questions later, it was time for the fans' questions. This was at the same time Lexa's favorite moment and the one she dreaded the most.

"What can we expect in regards to the mother/daughter relationship between Alicia and Madison?" a fan asked.

Lexa's castmate, Kim, who played Madison was the first to speak, "It is difficult to say because Madison has clearly always had to worry more about Nick even before the apocalypse and I think she's gotten used to Alicia being able to get by without her help but now that they're thrown into the apocalypse, she has to care for both of her children equally because both need her protection and I think that's hard for her to shift her behavior just like that"

Lexa nodded and raised the mic to her mouth, "As for Alicia, I think she just really needs this maternal figure right now but she can't seem to find it in Madison because her mother has always been so focused on Nick. Deep down, I believe this is what's the most hurtful to Alicia. That her mother will seemingly always worry more about Nick than about her. The dynamic between those two characters is definitely interesting and it is one that I love to act out for you guys to see" she smiled at the audience who cheered a bit.

Questions flowed and they answered each of them without too much trouble. Fans remained respectful of their privacies in their questions and that was all that mattered.

The host announced the end of the panel and reminded the audience that the individual panels would start at 4pm.

Lexa got down from the stage and interacted with some fans, signing a few autographs. She could see Anya tapping her watch in the distance but she waved her off, wanting to interact with fans some more before going back to her lounge.

Once she was in her lounge, she dropped onto the couch and drank from the water bottle that was placed onto the coffee table. She then pulled out her phone and noticed a new message on her personal twitter. Her eyes widened in surprise and a smile drew itself on her features when she saw it was from Clarke.

Her expression turned into one of confusion when she read the message.

 **thecommander :** _Clarke, have you been drinking?_

She winced at how condescending the text sounded when she herself wasn't exactly a saint when it comes to drinking.

She got no response and sighed, pocketing her phone. Clarke was still a stranger but she couldn't help but worry. It was in her nature to care for people's well-being even if she didn't personally know them.

Anya burst inside the room, smiling, "You did great out there" she praised, "Fans are very excited for your individual panel" she informed the actress.

Lexa smiled, "I am too" she said, "The fans are truly amazing"

Anya hummed, nodding, "Be careful, though" she warned, "Individual panels tend to get more personal. I think you know that"

Lexa sighed, "I do, which is why I know I'll be able to handle it. I've done it before and the fans know their boundaries so it'll be just fine"

Anya hesitated but nodded, "Alright, I trust you" she said, "I have to speak with the host for a few minutes. I'll be back in twenty minutes to lead you to the panel stage"

Lexa nodded, "Thanks, Anya" she said before the door closed and she was once again alone.

She pulled out her phone but saw her message hadn't been seen by Clarke yet. She sighed and lay down on the couch, putting her earphones in her ears to listen to music until it was time for her panel.

 

 

\----------------

 

 

She walked on stage, waving at the audience and was once again overwhelmed by all the love she kept receiving from fans. She scanned the room and smiled brightly as she took a seat in the one-seat couch that was placed on stage for her.

"Hi, everyone" she greeted with a smile. The response from the fans came in the form of cheers and her smile widened. She truly loved doing that, "Hold on" she raised a finger and pulled out her phone, "We're gonna do something"

She walked to the center of the stage and turned around so that her back was to the public. She then raised her phone in the air to take a selfie with the audience behind.

"One, two, three" she said before capturing the picture, "Thanks everyone" she said, looking down at the picture, "It looks great. I'll post it on instagram later" she said before getting back into her seat.

She answered a few questions related mostly to the show and the plot, sometimes recounting an anecdote about the shooting.

"Who's the funniest on set?" a fan asked.

Lexa laughed and hummed, "Well, Luna and Colman are pretty funny but I've got to give this one to Mercedes" she said, "She loves pranks a lot" she said, "To our dismay" she added, causing the audience to laugh.

She quickly answered a few more questions, knowing their time was limited. There were about ten minutes left. She watched as a young girl stood up from the crowd, mic in hand and started speaking.

"Hi" the girl shyly said, "I wanted to thank you for all the body positivity you keep spreading over social media"

Lexa smiled at that. In her teenage years, she had often been bullied for being _"too fat"_ or _"weird looking"_ and she wanted girls all around the world to know that beauty came in all forms and shapes and that girls are beautiful just the way they are and do not have to fit the standards society puts on them.

If she had lost a lot of weight since her teenage years, it was solely to feel comfortable in her own skin and not because of the pressure people put on her. She wanted girls to understand that as long as they felt good in their body, they shouldn't attempt to change for anyone.

"I've been a victim of bullying for almost a year now because of my weight and your tweets and constant support are what gets me through the day and what helps me accept myself a little bit more everyday so thank you" the girl finished speaking.

Lexa wiped at a few tears and got up, stepping down the stage, "Come here" she told the girl to join her in front of the stage and engulfed her in a hug, "You are beautiful. No matter what others say. Remember that the only opinion that matters when it comes to you is your own" she told the girl.

The fan nodded, "Thank you" she said.

Lexa grabbed her hand, giving it a small squeeze, "You are very brave to speak about this" she told her, "Now go dry those tears because I don't want to see any of those on your beautiful face"

The girl let out a watery chuckle and nodded, wiping at her tears, "Thank you so much" she said.

"No need to thank me" Lexa told her.

"Can I have another hug?" the fan shyly asked.

"Of course you can! Come here" Lexa exclaimed, already wrapping her arms around the girl, smiling brightly as she held her for a little while, "What's your name?"

"Serena" the girl replied.

"Well, Serena, it was a pleasure to meet you and I hope it isn't the last time I get to see you. Keep smiling, you have a beautiful smile" she smiled kindly at the girl before walking back on stage.

Those kind of moments were the main reason why she loved her job so much. Interacting with fans and knowing her fame could have a positive impact was the best reward there is for her. Those moments reminded her of why she had wanted to be an actress in the first place.

She winked at Serena from the distance and focused her attention on the other fan who now had the mic. It was a young girl as well who seemed pretty shy from what Lexa could see.

"Go ahead, sweetie. I don't bite, I swear" she raised her hands in the air.

The girl smiled a bit, "Um...I was just wondering...If you could play any other character, um, who-who would it be?" she stuttered out.

Lexa smiled, "If I could be any other character from the show...that's an interesting question" she hummed in thought, "Well, I do love playing Alicia but Luna's character is pretty funny and badass so I guess I would want to play Nadia" she replied, grinning.

"Thank you" the girl replied.

"What's your name?" Lexa asked curiously.

"S-Sophia" the fan replied, smiling nervously.

"Well, you're welcome, Sophia. That was a good question, thank you" she said, smiling warmly at the girl.

The fan nodded and thanked her. Lexa answered a couple more questions before it was time to wrap it up because Luna's panel would start.

Luna walked on stage just as Lexa was finishing up and getting ready to leave the stage. Lexa hugged her castmate, "See you later" she told her before walking off the stage, waving goodbye at the audience.

Anya pulled her into a tight hug, "You were amazing" she complimented, "The fans really love you and I can see why"

"They're everything to me" Lexa told her earnestly, "I just want to be able to give them something in return"

"You do" Anya said, "Those people out there are possibly living the best day of their lives right now thanks to you"

Lexa smiled and checked her phone again. _ **Still no reply,**_ she noted, slightly disappointed.

 

 

\---------------

 

 

Clarke woke up and groaned as the light streaming through the window blinded her. She held her head in her hands when she was hit by a sudden headache. It was to be expected after drinking so much.

She looked beside her and saw that Raven was still asleep. She grabbed some medication, hoping without much faith that it'll lessen her hangover. She pushed herself up and was relieved to not feel nauseous.

She all but crawled towards her phone and turned it on, scowling at the bright light. She opened her twitter app and saw she had a new message. She groaned upon reading the last few messages between her and Lexa.

 **princess :** s _orry fir leavungf yoi on rzad My ropmmate came bzck home ans i forhot to reply to youu_

 **thecommander :** _Clarke, have you been drinking?_

She rubbed a hand over her face and blinked a few times before typing out a reply.

 **princess :** _yeah, sorry. Stupid idea to send a message while drunk. I swear, I never learn from my mistakes lol_

"Who are you texting" a hoarse voice mumbled from the other side of the room.

"A girl I met on twitter" Clarke answered.

"Ooooh, is she hot?" Raven wiggled her eyebrows.

"I don't know" Clarke shrugged, "Haven't seen a picture of her"

Raven pouted and sat back on her heels, "Lame" she complained, "Anyway, I just checked the pictures from the convention of Fear The Walking Dead and lemme tell you, Lexa is serving looks, like hot damn"

Clarke groaned and buried her head in the cushion, "You need to control your obsession" she mumbled against the fabric.

"You haven't even seen a picture of her" Raven argued, throwing a cushion at the blonde's head.

"Yeah cause I don't care" Clarke replied, throwing the cushion back at the latina.

She felt her phone buzz and grabbed it.

 **thecommander :** _Would it be too invasive to ask what prompted you to drink that much?_

Clarke smiled at how polite that girl was. She was about to reply when the cushion flew at her head once more before falling to the ground, "Raven!" she yelled at the laughing girl.

"Sorry but you were just so focused on your phone. It was too tempting" Raven shrugged, "Who's got you all smiley like that?" she nodded at Clarke's phone.

"I wasn't smiling" Clarke blushed.

"Yeah right" Raven said, raising an eyebrow, "And Donald Trump isn't the worst thing that's ever happened to America" she sarcastically said.

Clarke sighed, "I was just talking to that girl from twitter" she answered, figuring her best friend wouldn't give up until she told her.

"Ask for her picture" Raven said.

Clarke shook her head, "No way. We only started talking today and I already drunkenly messaged her" she said, "I don't want to creep her out any more than that"

"You're no fun" Raven pouted but Clarke ignored her in favor of responding to Alexandria's message.

 **princess :** _my dick of an ex harassing me through text. And also because I just really wanted to wake up with a huge hangover (this is a joke btw, I do not enjoy massive headaches)_

 **thecommander** : _I understood it was a joke, Clarke. I'm not that dense._

Clarke's eyes widened.

 **princess :** _Oh no, I didn't mean it like that. I just, ugh, I'm sorry_

 

 

<<<>>>

 

 

Lexa hadn't understood the feeling of relief and joy that washed over her when she had received a message from Clarke but she decided to ignore it. She chuckled as she read the girl's latest message and quickly typed out a reply.

 **thecommander** : _I know, Clarke. I was just kidding_

Her hand hovered over the send button, hesitating, then she added a winking emoji and sent the message, deciding to not over-think this.

She pocketed her phone when Anya called her, telling her it was time to sign autographs and pose for pictures with fans. She smiled and made her way to the designed area. This was possibly her favorite part of each convention. Getting to speak to fans one by one was something she deeply enjoyed as it was a way to get to know them a little better.

 

 

\----------------

 

 

Clarke blushed when she read the message and saw the winking emoji. _**Was that flirting?**_ She asked herself, pretty oblivious to those kind of things in general.

She replied quickly and added an emoji of her own at the end, figuring some innocent flirting wouldn't hurt anyone.

 **princess** : _right. I totally knew that, of course ;)_

She didn't get a reply and tried to not feel too disappointed. The girl had a life outside of twitter after all. She got up and drank some water because her throat was dry before telling Raven she would head into the shower because she felt gross. She received a hum in reply, her roommate too busy doing God knows what on her phone.

She reflected on the day she had had and laughed to herself when she realized she kind of had to thank Finn because thanks to him being an asshole, she had made a new friend, or at least she hoped that was what she and Alexandria were.

She stepped out of the shower after a few minutes and didn't bother dressing up before going to brush her teeth. The door opened suddenly and she shrieked, covering her body with her hands as she stared at Raven with wide eyes.

"Jesus! Could you knock?" she quickly grabbed a towel and wrapped it around her body.

"Griffin, I've seen you naked more times than I can count. It doesn't even affect me anymore" Raven said, "Though you are sexy as hell" she wiggled her eyebrows.

"Any specific reason you just walked in here?" Clarke ignored her words and rolled her eyes.

"Yes" Raven nodded and pulled out her phone, "Look how hot she is" she threw her phone in Clarke's face.

The blonde rolled her eyes and quickly shifted her gaze to the phone, barely looking at the picture before speaking, "Yes, very hot. Now would you please leave?" she pushed Raven out of the bathroom.

Raven let herself be shoved out as she kept staring at her phone. It had been about a month since the latina had become obsessed with this new show and this actress who was apparently _"So hot"_ and _"So talented, Clarke. You have to watch"_

The blonde wasn't one to fangirl. If she had had a few idols in her teenage years, it had stopped once she became busy with college. She valued true friendship/relationship over an infatuation over a celebrity whom she would most likely never meet anyway.

 

 

\---------------

 

 

Lexa signed the last few autographs and hugged a few fans before waving goodbye at them as she climbed into the car waiting for her, ready to finally head back to the hotel after the exhausting but incredible day she had just had. She pulled out her phone and opened the twitter app as soon as the car started making its way back to the hotel.

 **thecommander :** _Sorry, my job kept me pretty busy today but I'm finally free to talk. If you want to, that is_

She didn't really know how to qualify this thing that she shared with Clarke over the internet. _**Were they friends? Acquaintances? Strangers who happened to talk to each other once?** _ She wondered if the girl would even want to continue speaking to her after today. Maybe Clarke just needed someone to rant to about her asshole of an ex and that was it. They would both go back to their respective lives, never speaking to each other again. Lexa hoped not.

From the little time she had spent conversing with the girl, she had realized how much she craved having a friend who liked her for who she really was and not for her fame and the advantages that came with it. It also surprised her how, while she was speaking with Clarke, she wasn't falling victim of the dark thoughts that had been clouding her mind for the past six months or so.

Her phone buzzed and she smiled down at it, quickly unlocking the screen.

**princess :** _ofc. I really enjoy talking to you, stranger_

Lexa laughed and Anya looked at her questioningly. The actress hid the screen of the device by pressing her phone against her chest.

"Who are you talking to?" Anya asked, partly because it was her job to protect Lexa's image and partly because she was curious. It had been a while since she had heard her sister laugh. She had missed that sound.

"Just a friend" Lexa said which wasn't totally a lie, "It's Luna" she said when Anya didn't stop staring at her. Ok, that one was a lie but she couldn't risk having her sister know about this, already anticipating the way she would react.

Although Anya was the one who came up with the idea of creating a second twitter account, she had insisted on being made aware of each person Lexa would talk to to make sure they couldn't harm the actress in any way, should they ever find out who she really was.

Lexa kept quiet about Clarke because she didn't want Anya to do a background check on the girl. She felt that it would be an invasion of Clarke's privacy. She would just have to be extra careful with the information she gave away.

**thecommander :** _I enjoy talking to you as well, stranger_

She typed out her reply and waited eagerly for the girl to send something else. She didn't have to wait too long.

 **princess** _: I have an important question_

Lexa frowned, slightly worried. She waited as she saw the three small dots indicating Clarke was typing.

 **princess :** _do you like pineapple on your pizza?_

Lexa tried to stifle her laughter, knowing Anya was sitting close to her and watching her movements like a hawk. She loved her sister, she truly did, but sometimes she wished the older girl would be less protective over her. Then again, seeing the recent events, she couldn't blame Anya for it.

 **thecommander** _: I do, actually_

 **princess** : _*gasp* you're one of them. I don't think we can be friends anymore_

This time, Lexa couldn't help the laugh that escaped her lips. She could feel Anya's gaze on her as she typed her response and tried to ignore it.

 **thecommander** _: Oh? Is that what we are? Friends?_

 **princess** _: oh, I mean, I thought...nevermind_

Lexa frowned and shook her head. This was not what she meant.

**thecommander :** _I want to._

**thecommander :** _I want to be your friend, I mean_

 **princess :** _yeah?_

 **thecommander :** _Yeah :) Friends?_

 **princess :** _friends._

Lexa switched onto her main account and posted another tweet.

**Lexa Woods** _@lexawoods : Sometimes you just meet amazing people at the most unexpected moments_

 

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is chapter 2 :)

 

 

 **thecommander:** _Clarke...what in hell is this and why are you sending it to me?_

 **princess:** _It's a blobfish according to google. I didn't want to be the only one weirded out and I sent it to you so we could be weirded out together_

 **thecommander:** _That still doesn't explain how you ended up finding this image. What did you type to find this?_

Clarke blushed a bit and chuckled as she answered.

 **princess:** _"Weirdest animals on the planet"_

She didn't receive a reply right away but she laughed when she read the message Alexandria had sent to her.

 **thecommander:** _I have no words. Why...how...?_

 **princess:** _I was bored_

 **thecommander:** _I can see that_

 **princess:** _Stop judging me. It isn't nice_

 **thecommander:** _Who said I was judging you?_

 **princess:** _I can feel you judge me through the screen of my phone and let me tell you, it hurts my feelings_

 **thecommander:** _You're really weird, in an oddly cool way_

Clarke laughed and went to write another mesage.

 **princess:** _Yeah well, you agreed to be my friend. No turning back now_

 **thecommander:** _I knew I should have kept the ticket to get a refund if unsatisfied_

Clarke grinned and jumped up when she heard Raven's voice, "Still talking to that Alexandria girl?" the latina asked.

Clarke hummed. It had been almost a month since they had started speaking and they would talk everyday, sending each other funny things they found on the internet or simply exchanging information about themselves. Clarke had noted that the other girl seemed quite secretive about her job and personal life but she wouldn't force her to disclose any personal information. She knew how wary some people could be while talking to strangers on the internet. Besides, it didn't stop her from fully enjoying their conversations.

Last night, they had gotten into a debate over whether or not squids were cute animals and the girl actually managed _-God knows how-_ to convince Clarke that squids were _"adorable"_ and _"highly interesting"_

She chuckled at the memory, shaking her head.

 **princess:** _If I had to put up with your obsession of squids, you will have to put up with my odd google searches. It's only fair_

 **thecommander:** _Squids are cute. This....thing you sent me, is not._

 **princess:** _Beauty is subjective_

 **thecommander:** _And some things are simply ugly and disgusting to everyone. This is one of those_

Clarke actually agreed with Alexandria but she loved it when the girl would expose various arguments as to why she is right and Clarke is undeniably wrong.

"Alright, you need to get a picture of that girl" Raven said.

Clarke frowned, "I don't see why it's so important" she said.

"Cause she might be hot?" Raven said as though it was the most obvious answer in the world.

Clarke smiled and shook her head, "It's not like I'm going to date her. We probably live thousands of miles apart"

"Did she tell you where she lived?" Raven enquired.

"Well, no but-"

"Ask her"

"No way"

"Fine, I'll do it myself" Raven snatched the phone from Clarke's hands, running towards the kitchen as she typed the words.

 **princess:** _Hey beauty, where do you live?_

 **thecommander:** _Clarke?_

Clarke groaned and took her phone back, quickly typing another message.

 **princess:** _Please ignore this message. My roommate thinks she's hilarious when she really isn't_

 **thecommander:** _Oh, okay. Well, to answer her question, I don't really have a permanent home because my job makes me travel a lot but I'm currently in Orlando. Though the house I use the most is in Los Angeles. Wby?_

 **princess:** _I live in New York. It's really far from Los Angeles..._

She couldn't help but feel disappointed at this. It had only been a little over three weeks since she started speaking to that girl but already, she felt like they could be amazing friends. The possibility of never seeing her in person was disappointing.

 **thecommander:** _Yeah....maybe one day, I'll be in New York_

 **princess:** _Yeah, maybe. If you come here, we should totally hang out_

The answer took a few minutes to come and Clarke frowned when she saw the three little dots appear, then disappear.

 **thecommander:** _That'd be nice :)_

 

 

<<<>>>

 

 

Lexa sort of started freaking out when she received Clarke's message. She knew meeting up with the girl would mean revealing her identity to her and therefore, losing the chance of having a friend who ignores that she's famous and who won't treat her as such. She had no idea what to do.

She typed several messages then deleted them before finally settling on a simple _that'd be nice,_ knowing that it would raise questions if she showed herself to be reluctant at the idea of hanging out. Thing is, she really wished she could see the girl in real life, develop a real friendship with her where they would often see each other but even if she did not take the distance into account, she still was an actress and her schedule was hectic, leaving little to no time for friendships. She knew that was what she had signed up for when she decided to become an actress and she would never spit on all of that but sometimes, she wished she had more time for herself.

Her train of thought was interrupted by the buzzing of her phone. She picked it up and a frown appeared as she read the message.

 **princess:** _I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable. I just...I don't know how to explain it but I value this thing between us. I don't know if I would dare to call it a friendship but I know that I really enjoy talking to you and maybe I got a little too excited_

She didn't want Clarke to feel like she had done anything wrong so she quickly typed a response.

 **thecommander:** _There is nothing to be sorry about. If anything, I'm the one who's sorry. I really would like to hang out with you_

 **princess:** _But?_

Lexa sighed. Clarke was way too good at reading between the lines.

 **thecommander:** _But my job is hectic and I don't want you to have to deal with an inconsistent friendship and someone who won't always be available for you_

 **princess:** _You make it sound like a relationship_

Lexa blushed at that.

 **princess:** _What if I want to be friends with you no matter what? Look, this might seem weird but except my best friend, I don't think I've ever connected with someone that fast_

 **thecommander:** _I feel the same way_

"You're still talking to that girl?" Anya asked upon noticing how engrossed with her phone her younger sister looked. A couple days ago, Lexa had told Anya about Clarke, tired of having to lie, "Be careful, Lex" Anya said with a serious tone, "You know you can't get too attached"

Lexa sighed because yes, she knew and this had been something that had been plaguing her mind for the past few days. Every time she felt herself growing closer to the girl, a small voice inside her head would remind her that getting close is dangerous.

"It's fine, Anya" she said, "I know what I'm doing" she assured the girl. _Lies._ Anya looked at her dubiously, "Besides, you are the one who encouraged me to create this account"

"I didn't think you'd become besties with some girl you met over the internet"

Lexa frowned. The words used by her sister didn't sit well with her, "She's not just some girl, Anya. She's different from other people. She's very down to earth and I know it might be a crazy thing to say so soon but I trust her"

"You don't really know her, Lex" Anya said, ever the reasonable one.

Lexa sighed, "I know but...I want to know her" she quietly said, "I love talking to her, you know. It makes me feel like an ordinary girl"

"But you're not an ordinary girl, Lexa" Anya came to sit next to her, "You are one of the most famous actresses of this era"

"I'm not that famous" Lexa argued.

"Your instagram follower count says otherwise" Anya gave her a knowing look.

Lexa sighed again, "I promise that I'll be careful" she told Anya.

Her sister and manager nodded, "Alright, I trust you on that" she said, "You have an interview scheduled tomorrow" she then said.

"With who?" Lexa asked.

Anya winced and Lexa knew whatever name was about to come out of Anya's mouth wouldn't be unknown to her.

"Costia Green" Anya revealed.

Lexa let her head drop in her hands, "Why?" she asked to no one in particular.

Costia Green was Lexa's ex-girlfriend and while the break up hadn't been too messy, it hadn't been amicable either. A lot of words had been exchanged, some that they meant, some that were said on the account of frustration.

Anya patted her knee, "I'm sorry. The producers of your show planned it but I can try to cancel it if it really won't be possible for you"

Lexa paused for a second, considering it, then shook her head, "It won't be necessary" she said, "I'll do it. We have to promote the show"

"Are you sure?" Anya asked.

"Yeah" Lexa said, "I'll just push my feelings aside. I'm used to it" she dejectedly said, remembering all the times she had been treated more like an object than a human being in her career. Not by fans, they were amazing, but by journalists and paparazzi who clearly don't know their boundaries.

Anya squeezed her knee, "I'll make the last few arrangements and tell you what, alright?" Lexa nodded, "I'm here if you need anything" the older girl added.

"I know" Lexa said, "You're my manager"

"I meant this as your sister" Anya corrected, "If you need to talk, just call me and I'll be right there"

"Thanks, Anya" Lexa smiled softly, "You're seriously the best"

"Tell me something I don't know" Anya smirked, "I'll see you soon" she told her sister, "And I know I've told you to be careful about that girl but...I also don't think you should stop talking to her"

Lexa frowned, "What do you mean?"

"Apart from your meetings with fans, it's been awhile since I've seen you as carefree as when you're texting her. She has a positive impact on you and I think you should keep talking to her. Just be careful"

"I will" Lexa smiled, picking up her phone to check the last few messages she received from Clarke.

Anya realized that her sister was clearly too immersed in her phone to listen to her so she left the room.

 **princess:** _Good :) for a second I thought I was alone in this_

Lexa smiled and quickly read the three other messages.

 **princess:** _What do you recommend me to do against an annoying roommate?_

 **princess:** _Alexandria?_

 **princess:** _Are you dead? Should I call 911?_

She chuckled and typed out a reply.

 **thecommander:** _Not dead yet lol and no, no need to call 911. I also have no idea what to do against an annoying roommate since I've never had one._

 **princess:** _Never? Not even in college_

 **thecommander:** _I didn't go to college, actually_

 **princess:** _Oh well that's ok. It's actually cool that you still got a job even if you didn't study for it._

Lexa was about to reply but saw the three little dots, meaning Clarke was still writing.

 **princess:** _Oh god. That sounded so judgemental, I'm sorry. I didn't mean that you were lucky, you're probably crazy smart and deserve the job that you have_

 **thecommander:** _Well, it could have been worded better but I wasn't offended. In a way, I did get lucky to get this job and I guess my qualifications are the reason I could keep it_ :)

 **princess:** _In what field do you work?_

Lexa froze for a second, not knowing what to answer. She obviously couldn't tell Clarke she was an actress but she didn't want to lie.

 **thecommander:** _I work in the entertainment industry. Wby?_

She opted for a simple response that wasn't a lie but wasn't the entire truth either. As much as she wanted to be completely honest, she knew she couldn't.

 **princess** : _That's pretty cool. I work in a coffee shop right now. Not my dream job but it pays the bills_

 **thecommander:** _What is it you really want to do?_

 **princess:** _I want to be an artist. I've wanted to since as long as I can remember but it's not that simple..._

 **thecommander:** _Why not give it a try? If that's what you really want to do_

 **princess:** _The chances to succeed in art are too slim. It's not reliable enough..._

Lexa was immediately brought back to her teenage days when she would be told by her parents and teachers that her dreams of being an actress were only wishful thinking and that she wouldn't make it but look at her now, acting in one of the most famous shows in the US. She couldn't let Clarke believe that she should give up on her dreams because of uncertainty. Nothing in life was one hundred percent certain. To get what we truly want, we need to take risks sometimes.

 **thecommander:** _Is anything ever reliable? I don't know if this is too invasive of me but I think you should try and give it a shot, take the risk because the result could be worth it. Like people say, you miss all the shots you don't take :)_

 **princess:** _You sound like you've had to make that sort of decision before_

 **thecommander:** _I have_

She remained cryptic, leaving it at that. Giving away more information would be revealing too much.

 **princess:** _Maybe one day I'll have as much courage as you and actually do it but now isn't the time, unfortunately_

Lexa nodded, understanding that it could be hard to jump out of the comfort zone you've been in for years.

 **thecommander:** _Will you let me see some of your artwork someday?_

She waited not so patiently for an answer, curious to see how talented the girl really was.

 **princess:** _Maybe someday. If you deserve it_ _;)_

Lexa smiled and thought of a response for a few seconds before pressing her thumbs on the keyboard.

 **thecommander:** _I'll deserve it. You'll see_

 **princess:** _Looking forward to it ;)_

A fluttering feeling erupted in Lexa's chest upon reading Clarke's message. She sent back another winking emoji and laid down on the couch. She decided to reply to a few of her fans, seeing as she had a bit of free time. It would always warm her heart to see how happy she could make someone simply by responding to their tweet.

 

 

\-----------------

 

 

"Lexa" Costia greeted with a curt nod, "It's nice to see you again"

Lexa could tell Costia didn't mean that but she decided not to comment on it. It wouldn't do her any good to act unprofessionally now, "You too, Costia" she lied.

The woman sighed, "Look, I know this isn't the ideal situation and trust me, I'm not the one who requested to interview you but let's keep it professional, alright?"

Lexa nodded, "I just want to do this right and get it over with" she stated calmly.

Costia seemed happy with that answer, "We'll start in twenty minutes" she told the brunette and left.

Lexa sighed once the woman was out of sight. It seemed like it was bound to be awkward between them from now on.

Anya patted her shoulder, "Are you alright?" she asked with slight concern.

"It's just a bit awkward but it'll be fine" she said, "She wants to keep it professional as much as I do"

Anya nodded, "Good" she said but narrowed her eyes suspiciously at the woman nonetheless.

Except for Anya, no one knew Costia and Lexa had once been together. Their relationship had been kept a secret because Lexa wasn't ready to come out to the world yet. That had been the reason for their break up. Costia grew tired of waiting for Lexa to be ready and it put a strain on their relationship, causing its end after a little over a year. The fact that Lexa's PR team had pressured her to pretend she was dating a previous male co-star didn't help at all.

Lexa couldn't blame Costia. She knew it was her fault that things aggravated to the point of no return but she had hoped the other woman would have waited a bit longer. Now, it was in the past and her feelings for Costia had long since dissipated but a hint of discomfort still lingered between the two women whenever they crossed paths and seeing what their respective jobs were, it was inevitable.

"I'm sorry about what happened between the two of you" Anya said.

Lexa frowned, "It was almost a year ago" she pointed out, "It doesn't matter now" she said.

"Still" Anya insisted, "I shouldn't have agreed to the whole PR stunt with your co-star. I should have known it would make you uncomfortable"

"And you put a stop to it as soon as you realized that. We've been over this already, Anya. I don't blame you for it" she placed a hand on Anya's shoulder, "My break up with Costia was my fault only. I was too much of a coward to come out" she dejectedly looked down, "I still am"

"You're not a coward, Lex" Anya told her, "It's normal to be scared" she reassured her sister, "You'll be ready when you are ready"

Lexa nodded, "Thanks, Anya" she quietly said, moving to wrap her arms around her older sister.

 

 

\--------------

 

 

"Clarke! Come here" Raven called her best friend.

"What?" Clarke said, coming out of the shower in nothing but a towel, her blow drier in her hand as she dried her hair.

"Just come here" Raven insisted.

Clarke rolled her eyes and quickly got dressed to join Raven on the couch, "What?"

Raven motioned to the screen with her remote, "Lexa's live on tv" she said with excitement, "She's so beautiful"

Clarke sighed but couldn't deny that the actress was beautiful. And she seemed to be very well-spoken too. She was about to get up when Raven's hand stopped her.

"You're staying until the end of the interview"

Clarke groaned but obliged, "If I stay, will you leave me alone with this Lexa Woods?"

Raven nodded with a grin. Her fingers were crossed behind her back though but Clarke didn't have to know that.

 _"What can we expect this season when it comes to Alicia, your character on Fear The Walking Dead?"_ the interviewer asked.

 _"That's an interesting question"_ Lexa replied with a polite smile. Clarke felt that the smile wasn't genuine, _"She will have to face many challenges and it will help her grow as a person for sure. I'm very excited to portray that"_

Clarke could tell the woman was passionate about her job. She had to give her that.

 _"And can we expect any badass moments from Alicia?"_ the interviewer asked.

Lexa grinned and Clarke noted how pretty her smile was before halting her train of thoughts. **_What the fuck?_ ** She told herself.

 _"Alicia will definitely have her badass moments"_ she confirmed, _"I know people have been waiting for it and quite frankly, this is something I've wanted for a long time as well"_ she revealed, _"Alicia is so much more than what was shown at first and she still has a lot to prove. I hope the viewers will enjoy what our producers and writers created"_

 _"What about you?"_ the interviewer continued, _"Any new projects in sight?"_

Raven seemed completely captivated by the interview and barely paid attention to her best friend. If she did, she would notice that Clarke was just as interested by it as she was.

 _"For now, no"_ Lexa answered seriously, _"And to be fair, I don't have much free time with my show"_

_"What about your love life? Anyone in sight?"_

Clarke rolled her eyes. She knew those were the typical questions but she found them incredibly invasive of the celebrities' privacy. Lexa looked to be uncomfortable as she answered the question and Clarke could understand why.

 _"No, no one"_ Lexa chuckled nervously.

 _"What about Atom Parker?"_ the interviewer insisted, _"Any chance of you two getting back together?"_

 _"We were never together"_ Lexa denied dryly.

 _"And what exactly are you looking for in a man?"_ Costia insisted further.

Lexa rubbed the back of her neck, _"I'm, uh, I'm not looking"_ she said.

Clarke shook her head, "They have no boundaries, it's appalling" she said, "I wouldn't want to be in her position" she said, referring to Lexa.

"Me neither" Raven agreed, "But she always deals with it with utmost professionalism. I'm impressed she hasn't gone off on a interviewer yet. I know I would have"

 _"Well, any man would be lucky to be with you"_ Costia put emphasis on the word man.

Lexa remained oddly silent and Clarke noticed again how uncomfortable she looked. Finally the interview came to an end and Lexa shook the interviewer's hand.

"She's amazing" Raven dreamily said.

Clarke rolled her eyes and got up to go back in her room, pulling her phone out to send a message to Alexandria.

 **princess:** _I don't understand how interviewers have no qualms about asking such intrusive questions. It's disrespectful_

 

 

\------------------

 

 

"What the hell, Costia?" Lexa said when the camera stopped recording, pulling the woman aside, "I thought we agreed to stay professional?"

Costia rolled her eyes, "I _was_ professional" she countered.

Lexa scoffed, "You didn't have to bring up Atom or my relationship status" she said, "You only did this out of spite"

"I did this because it's my job" Costia said and Lexa knew this was a lie.

"Bullshit" she said, "You insisted on the word _man_ on purpose" she accused, "You know this isn't easy for me. Why would you go out of your way to make me feel uncomfortable?!"

"You're gonna have to tell them at some point" Costia shrugged, "I'm simply giving you a push"

"This isn't your decision to make" Lexa dryly said, "I understand if it hurt you that I was in the closet during our relationship but you don't get to out me. This is a shitty thing to do and I know you're not a bad person"

"Okay, Lex" Costia sighed, walking away, "I'll keep your secret but you can't hide it forever" she said, head turned towards the brunette.

"I know!" Lexa threw her hands in the air in frustration, "I know" she repeated much more quietly, looking down at the ground. She dropped to the ground and let her head drop in her hands, "I'm so tired of being scared" she thought out loud.

She pulled out her phone to do the only thing that seemed to cheer her up lately. Message Clarke. It was a better coping method than drinking, that was for sure. It seemed as though the girl had been faster than her, though.

She read what Clarke wrote and couldn't help but chuckle sadly when she noted how close to home it hit.

 **thecommander:** _They're doing their job...but I guess they can be a bit much. Why such a sudden thought?_

The reply took a couple minutes to come.

 **princess:** _My best friend made me watch an interview of her favorite actress of all time and I couldn't help but notice how rude some interviewers can be with their questions_

 **thecommander:** _Which celebrity was it? Maybe I know her_

 **princess:** _Lexa Woods. Apparently she's super famous so you probably heard of her_

Lexa wanted to laugh at the irony of it. **_If you knew how much I know her,_** she thought to herself, chuckling. She decided to use that occasion to gather some information.

 **thecommander:** _I've heard of her in passing. Do you not like her?_

She started getting nervous when Clarke took too long to reply. If she was honest with herself, she was a bit scared to know Clarke's opinion on her.

 **princess:** _Honestly? She seems down to earth from what I've seen and incredibly patient with rude interviewers_

Lexa smiled at that and let out a breath of relief.

 **princess:** _Raven is just so obsessed with her that she won't shut up about her and how beautiful she is and like, I get it, she's beautiful but no need to talk about it 24/7_

Lexa's smile grew and she quickly typed out a reply.

 **thecommander:** _You think she's beautiful?_

 **princess:** _Of course I do. I have eyes and she looks like a freaking Greek goddess_

Lexa blushed at the compliment, finding it exaggerated. She didn't think she was as beautiful as people made her to be. She heard her name being called in the distance by Anya.

 **thecommander:** _I gotta go...good luck with your best friend and her obsession. Talk to you soon :)_

 **princess:** _Thanks :) talk to you later!_

She locked her phone and smiled to herself before joining Anya in the main hallway, "You wanted to see me?"

"Yes. We gotta move quickly" Anya said in a clipped tone that Lexa associated with her professionalism, "Paparazzi and the press are everywhere. We can't wait any longer"

Lexa nodded. She was familiar with the process. She would be escorted outside and was instructed to not reply to any of the questions she was being asked. As she stepped outside, as predicted, a sea of journalists and paparazzi rushed towards her, flashes of cameras going off. She shielded her eyes and let herself being guided towards the car.

Her eyes landed on a group of five fans standing behind the horde of journalists and she halted in her steps, "Anya, there are fans" she told her manager, pointing in the direction of the girls who were trying to see past the journalists.

"We don't have time, Lexa" Anya said, looking at her apologetically.

Lexa stared at her for a few seconds then shook her head, "We'll make time" she decidedly said before pushing past the bodyguards.

Anya sighed but didn't try to stop her, knowing her attempts would be futile.

"Miss Woods, are you still seeing Atom Parker?" one of the journalists asked as she moved through the crowd.

"Miss Woods, is it true that you hate your castmate Luna Forrest?"

She ignored the questions flying at her, rolling her eyes at the absurdity of it, and kept walking until she reached the group of fans, "Hey, girls" she smiled warmly at them.

The girls froze, huge smiles written on their face and one of them stuttered something out as she handed Lexa a poster and a black sharpie.

"You want me to sign this?" Lexa asked, smiling, "Alright, what's your name?" she looked up.

"A-Amanda" the girl replied shakily.

"That's a beautiful name" Lexa smiled up at her. She finished signing, adding a small message and handed the poster back, "Here you go" She did the same for the four other girls, sometimes turning around to ask the journalists and paparazzi to move so they could have a bit of space and privacy.

"Can I..." Amanda started and Lexa smiled at her encouragingly, "Can I have a hug?"

"Of course" Lexa grinned, "You don't have to ask. Come here" she opened her arms and hugged the girl tightly before giving a hug to each girl. She posed for a few selfies before telling them that she wished she could stay longer but had to go back to her hotel.

They thanked her for stopping and she said it was normal and that she loved interacting with them.

"Thanks for coming to see me and sorry about them" Lexa told them, gesturing at the journalists before hugging the girls once more, "I'm sure we'll meet again" she winked before waving them goodbye and joining Anya by the car, once again avoiding the questions of journalists.

"That's why your fans love you so much" Anya smiled at her once they were in the safety of the car, "You just care so much"

"I love them so much, An. Each and every one of them" she earnestly said, "I wouldn't be here without them. That's the least I can do"

Anya nodded and told the driver to start the car to go back to the hotel so that Lexa could relax before the dinner planned with her fellow castmates to celebrate the airing of the first episode of season 3.

 

 

\-------------------

 

 

"Clarkey" Raven said, snapping her fingers in front of her face, "You've been staring at your phone for thirty minutes now"

Clarke's head snapped up, "Sorry" she mumbled, "It's just....Alexandria hasn't replied to my message yet" she dejectedly said, "I sent it two hours ago"

"Maybe she's busy" Raven shrugged.

The ding of her phone had Clarke look abruptly down at her phone only to see, much to her disappointment, that it was only a message from her boss asking if she could cover someone's shift on Sunday afternoon. She replied that she was available and slumped against the couch with a frown. **_Why hasn't Alexandria replied yet?_** She asked herself.

"Okay, that's it" Raven said, getting up, "You're going to go out and stop moping around because your girlfriend hasn't replied to you yet"

"She's not my girlfriend" Clarke mumbled.

Raven ignored her, "I'm calling O and Bellamy" she said, "We're going to the bar tonight"

"Which bar?" Clarke asked.

"Arkadia" Raven replied, "Like always" she winked at the blonde.

 

 

\-----------------

 

 

Lexa felt happy. She was surrounded by her castmates as they watched the first episode of the third season of their show while live-tweeting. She was sitting on the right side of the couch and Luna's head was in her lap while the girl was tweeting about the episode. She tried to tweet a lot but she would find herself too engrossed in the episode and would forget to tweet about it from time to time.

"Woods, let's take a picture" Luna said as she pulled out her camera and raised it to take a picture of the two of them.

"Why do you always want to take pictures?" Lexa asked.

"Cause you never post any so someone has to. Your fans are craving more pictures of your beautiful face" she said, "They're gonna freak out" she giggled as she uploaded the picture.

Lexa shook her head and smiled. She pulled out her own phone and tweeted something, deciding to add a quick selfie to it. She replied to some of the answers then focused her attention back on the show. She could see that she had received a message from Clarke and wanted to reply but it wasn't the time. She would wait until she was back home, alone.

 

 

\---------------

 

 

"Griffin" Octavia hugged her, "It's been way too long" she said in a whisper.

Clarke laughed, "It's been two days, O"

"Exactly. That's way too long" the dark haired girl complained, "Besides, I'm almost never home"

Clarke held her a bit tighter, "Hey, Bell" she said over Octavia's shoulder, smiling at the man.

"Hey, princess" he smiled at her and hugged her once Octavia released her.

They headed towards the bar to order their first drinks, knowing those would not be the only ones. This was a night to unwind and forget about everything. Octavia sat next to Clarke and wrapped an arm around her shoulder, "Raven told me you got a crush on some girl on the internet"

"I don't have a crush on her!" Clarke blushed.

"You stared at your phone for an hour while you waited for her to reply but sure, you don't have a crush on her" Raven teased.

"We've only been talking for a month and I don't even know what she looks like" Clarke countered.

"Ask her to send a photo" Octavia shrugged and Bellamy hummed in agreement.

"I can't just ask for a photo out of nowhere" Clarke said, "That'd be weird"

Raven shrugged, "Then send her one and see if she replies to you with one" she suggested.

Clarke looked down, "I don't know..." she moved her drink around then raised it to her lips, swallowing down the liquid, "Maybe I should wait"

"Nonsense" Raven shook her head before snatching the phone from Clarke's hand.

"Stop doing that, for fuck's sake" Clarke got up from the table and tried to get her phone back.

"Never" Raven smirked and she snapped a picture of Clarke. She laughed when she looked down at it. Clarke's eyes were panicked and her eyebrows were furrowed.

"It's perfect" she giggled and Bellamy leaned closer to her to see what she was writing.

Clarke snatched the phone away from her hand before she could press send and hastily deleted the picture, "We're not sending this to her"

"You're no fun, Griffin" Raven said, "Why not?"

"Because I don't want to pressure her into sending one back. She'll do it when she wants to and not before, understood?"

Octavia's smile grew, "You're already being protective over her. That's cute" she teased, poking Clarke's ribs.

"I'm not- we're not- ugh!" she threw her head back, "You can be so annoying sometimes" she whined.

Raven shrugged, smiling, "Yeah, I get that a lot"

 

 

\----------------

 

 

Lexa settled in bed. It had been a long day and she couldn't wait to get some sleep. She was about to when her phone dinged with a notification. That's when she remembered the few messages from Clarke that had gone ignored. She opened the app and switched to her personal account.

 **princess:** _I want to ask you something and I don't want you to feel obligated to answer_

 **princess:** _Could I have your phone number? I just feel like it would be easier to talk_

The next message was sent three hours and a half after the others. It was sent only a couple minutes ago.

 **princess:** _I probably made you uncomfortable...I'm sorry if that's the case. I wasn't thinking_

Lexa didn't know what to do. She could give Clarke her phone number but it would be risky if Clarke found out her identity and didn't keep quiet about it. On the other hand, she wanted to trust Clarke and give the girl her phone number. She wished she could talk to Anya right now but the woman was alseep and she didn't want to wake her up. She also didn't feel like leaving Clarke on read until tomorrow morning.

She made a split-second decision and sent out her phone number, followed by a message of apology for replying so late. She just hoped she had made the right choice and that it wouldn't come back to bite her in the ass in the future.

It only took a couple minutes for her phone to buzz again but this time, it was from a text message.

 **Unknown number - 12.32am :** _Hey, thank you so much for trusting me enough to give me your number. This is Clarke btw ;)_

Lexa smiled brightly and immediately knew she had made the right decision. It didn't matter if she would get an earful from Anya tomorrow. She felt happy whenever she talked with Clarke and she didn't want it to stop. She changed the contact name to **Clarke :)** and a few seconds later she received another text with a picture attached to it of a girl with brown hair. She couldn't see her face because her back was to the camera. She wondered if that was Clarke but realized it wasn't when she read the text.

 **Clarke :) - 12.34am :** _Look at my roomie, still obsessing over Lexa Woods. When will she stop?_

Lexa laughed a bit even though she was the topic of the conversation, she was glad to note that Clarke wasn't someone who cared much for celebrities and considered them to be normal people.

 **Alexandria☆- 12.35am :** _Is she really that much of a fan?_

 **Clarke - 12.35am :** _You have no idea. It's quite exhausting, really_

Lexa laughed and wanted to keep speaking to Clarke but felt her eyelids drooping. She quickly typed out one last text.

 **Alexandria☆- 12.36am :** _I'm pretty tired so I'm going to head to bed. It was nice talking with you, Clarke._

 **Clarke :) - 12.36am :** _It was nice talking with you too :) Goodnight xo_

 **Alexandria☆- 12.37am :** _Goodnight, Clarke :)_

 

 

\-----------------

 

 

Raven burst into her room and Clarke tried to quickly close the lid of her computer but her best friend had already caught a glimpse of what she was watching.

"I knew you would love her!" she pointed a finger at Clarke, smiling smugly, "I mean, who can resist Lexa Woods' charm?"

Clarke blushed and took out her earphones, "I wasn't...I was just documenting myself" she weakly explained.

"By watching interview over interview?" Raven raised a knowing eyebrow.

"I watched one video" Clarke lied and Raven saw right through it.

"Maybe we could look up your youtube history and see if it backs your words" she said, stepping towards the bed.

"Alright" Clarke sighed, "I watched more than one video but it's not my fault she's so captivating"

"I know, Griff" Raven placed a hand on her shoulder, "We all feel the same way, don't worry" she said, "Now scoot over. If you're gonna watch videos of her, I'm going to join you"

Clarke rolled her eyes but made some space for her friend nonetheless. They spent over three hours watching interviews of the actress and Clarke would wholly deny it if she were asked.

 

 

\-------------------

 

 

"You gave her your number!?" Anya exclaimed, "Are you out of you mind?!"

Lexa sighed. She expected that kind of reaction from her sister. She pinched the bridge of her nose, "She asked and I didn't know what to do" she shrugged.

"You could have refused?" Anya said as if it was obvious. Lexa stayed silent and understanding fell onto her sister, "You didn't want to say no"

Lexa sighed, "Listen, I trust her" she quietly said, "I trust her and she doesn't know who I am so it's not like she can use it against me"

"Yet" Anya pointed out, "She doesn't know who you are _yet_ but seeing how quick to trust her you were, you'll tell her soon enough and then she will be able to do whatever she wishes with that number"

"She wouldn't do that..." Lexa said, "And she doesn't have to know who I am" she argued.

Anya looked at her for a few seconds before shaking her head, "You're already attached to that girl. You'll have to tell her someday" she reasoned.

Lexa nodded, unable to deny Anya's claims, "I'll be careful, I promise" she said, "I _am_ being careful" she assured her sister.

"I trust you, Lex" Anya said, "So I'll let you deal with this the way you want to but remember this is on me if anything happens that can ruin your image"

Lexa nodded, "I know" she whispered, remembering pretty vividly how much paparazzi and journalists love to destroy a celebrity's image with false rumors and misleading pictures, "I'll be careful" she promised again.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those of you who read the sequel of the Missing Piece, I don't know when the next chapter will be out and it could take some time. I'm not in a very good place right now. My anxiety has kicked in because of the beginning of school and I'm working on getting better. I just felt like it was only fair to let you know.


	3. Chapter 3

 

 **Clarke :) - 12.32pm:** _Where are you now?_

Lexa smiled. Over the past two months, it had become a habit for Clarke to ask her in what state or country she currently was because of her job. Of course, the blonde still had no idea what her job was exactly but so far, the girl had remained respectful of Lexa's desire to not disclose that information.

 **Alexandria☆ - 12.45pm:** _in San Diego_

She was there for Comic Con, aka the biggest promotional event of the year for her show and many others.

**Clarke :) - 12.46pm:** _Isn't that where comic con is?_

**Alexandria☆ - 12.49pm:** _Yeah. I'm going there for work_

It wasn't a lie. Clarke would just assume she went there to gather information on the event instead of participating in it.

 **Clarke :) - 12.49pm:** _You're going to comic con? Are you like a journalist or something?_

Lexa's thumbs hovered over the keyboard, trying to think of a reply.

 **Alexandria☆ - 12.52pm:** _Something like that_

 **Clarke :) - 12.53pm:** _Raven is currently freaking out and requesting lots of pictures and updates_

Lexa laughed and quickly typed out a reply before joining Anya who was waiting for her a few feet away.

 **Alexandria☆- 12.53pm:** _I'll see what I can do ;)_

 **Clarke :) - 12.56pm:** _She also asked if you could get her an autograph from Lexa Woods and send it to her (you don't have to)_

**Alexandria☆- 12.59pm:** _No problem. I'll do it_

 

 

\-----------------

 

 

"She said yes?" Raven's eyes lit up, "I love your new friend" she said, clapping her hands excitedly. Raven took Clarke's phone and quickly messaged Alexandria.

**Clarke :) - 4.01pm:** _I LOVE YOU, YOU BEAUTIFUL STRANGER ♡_

Clarke face-palmed and sighed deeply, "You need to control your obsession" she mumbled.

"Should I remind you who spent the last couple months watching all the episodes of Fear The Walking Dead even though she hates zombie shows?"

Clarke got quiet, "The show is interesting" she weakly defended herself.

"And Lexa Woods is in it" Raven grinned, "You won't convince me this is not the reason you're watching the show when you've spent countless hours watching interviews of her"

Clarke shrugged, "She's pretty" she said, her voice barely over a whisper.

"I _knew_ you would love her" Raven said, "You just needed a little convincing"

"I'm not as obsessed as you, though" Clarke said, "You can't deny that"

Clarke's phone buzzed with a new message.

 **Alexandria☆- 4.03pm:** _Ok? lol_

**Clarke :) - 4.04pm:** _Sorry about that...It was Raven. Like I told you, she's obsessed with Lexa Woods._

**Alexandria☆- 4.04pm:** _No worries. Do you want me to get you an autograph too?_

 **Clarke :) - 4.05pm:** _It's sweet of you but I'm good_

 

 

\-----------------

 

 

Lexa followed her fellow castmates in the hallway leading backstage. Luna and Lincoln were walking beside her but she barely noticed their presence, too busy talking to Clarke.

"Who's got you smiling down at your phone like that?" Lincoln asked, nudging her in the ribs.

Lexa hummed and pocketed her phone, "No one" she hurried out, clearing her throat.

"Yeah, right" Lincoln said, "I also love to smile dumbly at my phone for no reason" he teased her.

"Shut up, Linc" she said, laughing a little, "And it is none of your business"

He raised his arms in the air defensively, "Alright" he said, smiling widely, "I won't ask"

Luna remained quiet through the exchange, linking her hands awkwardly in front of her.

"Is everything alright, Luna?" Lexa asked, noting the girl's unusually quiet demeanor.

Luna hummed and nodded, "Yeah, everything's good" she smiled at the brunette, "Just a bit nervous"

"Why?" Lexa asked, "This isn't as scary as it looks, I promise. You'll be fine" she smiled reassuringly at the girl, placing a comforting hand in the small of her back.

Luna nodded and smiled, "Thanks, Lex" she quietly said. Their names were called one by one and they each stepped on stage consecutively, waving at the crowd.

 

 

\------------------

 

 

"Has she sent anything yet?" Raven asked curiously, rolling on the bed out of boredom while scrolling through twitter.

"Nope" Clarke said, "She's probably very busy with her job right now"

"What's her job anyway?" Raven asked, locking her phone and placing it on the nightstand.

"I don't really know" Clarke said, "She's pretty mysterious about it. She just told me she works in the entertainment industry, probably a journalist or a publicist"

"It would explain why she's at Comic Con" Raven hummed.

Her phone dinged and Clarke opened the twitter app, "She sent a photo of the Fear The Walking Dead cast backstage" she said and Raven sat up quickly.

"Woods looks good" Raven low-whistled, "But when does she not?" she then rhetorically asked, "Tell your friend she's the best and she's second on my list of people I would marry"

Clarke laughed, "Who's first?"

"Lexa, duh"

 

 

\-------------------

 

 

Lexa dropped on a couch backstage at the end of the day. She had signed hundreds of autographs and taken a lot of pictures with fans after the panels and although she loved doing that, it always exhausted her. She had also stolen two of her own photos so she could sign them and send them to Clarke and her best friend. She found it almost comical how easy it was for her to grant Raven her wish.

Luna walked towards her with a water bottle, "Thirsty?" she asked, holding up the drink.

Lexa nodded, "Thanks, Lu" she said before taking a long gulp of water, "I'm tired as hell" she added, stretching her arms above her head.

Luna smiled and sat beside her on the couch, cautiously leaning her body towards Lexa's. The brunette lifted her arm so that Luna could curl up against her side. They had grown closer due to filming a lot together and were used to being affectionate with one another. It wasn't rare for them to cuddle on the couch in between takes, in a platonic way of course. Or at least that's how Lexa perceived it.

The young actress may not have noticed it but Luna's gaze often lingered on her whenever they weren't filming, a clear indication of the girl's feelings for Lexa. A few castmates had already made a few jokes about them being overly affectionate with each other but Lexa had flipped them off and told them they were just good friends. She didn't notice the way Luna's smile fell each time she brushed off the thought of them being together.

Lexa's phone rang with a call from Anya, "Yes?" she picked it up.

_"The producers have booked rooms at a hotel nearby for you and your castmates. A car is waiting outside for you"_

"Luna's with me. Can she come with?"

_"Sure. I'm in the main lobby in front of the entrance with your security. Join us here as quickly as possible. This place is flooded by journalists"_

"Alright. We're on our way" she hung up the phone, "Gotta go" she told Luna, "A car is waiting for us"

 

 

\-------------------

 

 

When they arrived to the hotel, they settled into the room. Each room had two beds and Anya had agreed to sleep in a single room so that Lexa could spend more time with her castmates. Lexa would share a room with Luna while Lincoln and Colman shared the room opposite them. They were already planning to meet up in one room anyway.

She dropped her bag on the ground and pulled out a book to read while Luna took a shower. Today had gone well. They had been able to promote the show without a hitch.

The same couldn't be said for the Supergirl cast if the many angry tweets from fans were anything to go by. Lexa wasn't even aware of what happened until Clarke mentioned it and linked her to a video that summed up the events.

Lexa was appalled that some actors managed to go to Comic Con to promote their show and do exactly the opposite by offending a huge part of their fandom. Apparently, only two of the actors showed respect. As an actress herself, she couldn't understand why some actors would rejoice in making a community feel invalidated and dismissed entirely.

She had written a pretty passionate rant to Clarke about how it isn't fair to treat fans the way they did. Fans are the reason actors have a job and she cannot even entertain the idea of ever showing any form of disrespect to those who show unwavering support to her and her castmates. She was glad to be part of an unproblematic cast who knew how to treat their fans with the respect they deserve.

Clarke had agreed with everything she had written, saying that even though she wasn't part of the fandom, she felt bad for the ones who were and who were offended by such words from the people they thought would have their back.

It had peaked her interest when Clarke had referred to the lgbtq+ community as her own community and that was how she found out Clarke was bisexual. She felt happy about that information and tried not to think about why it would mean anything to her that Clarke was also attracted to girls.

"Lex?" she heard Luna shout.

"Yeah?" she shouted back.

"I forgot my shampoo. Can you bring it to me? It's in the left pocket of my bag"

"Sure" Lexa said before rummaging through Luna's bag to find said shampoo.

She cautiously entered the bathroom and covered her eyes as she stepped inside, "I got the shampoo" she said and heard the shower door open before the shampoo was taken out of her hand.

"Thanks, Lex" Luna said and the brunette felt lips press against her cheek. She flushed red and walked out of the bathroom, hand still covering her eyes, causing her to almost walk into the wall, "You don't have to cover your eyes, y'know" Luna said right before Lexa closed the door, "We're both girls"

"But I'm a huge lesbian" Lexa mumbled inaudibly after closing the door behind her.

Except for Anya and her little brother, no one knew about Lexa's sexual orientation. Everyone just assumed she was straight because of the rumors that circulated that she used to date Atom Parker. Then again, that could've meant she was bisexual but most people annoyingly like to ignore the fact that it is a sexual orientation that is just as valid as straight or gay.

Lexa pulled out her phone and took a picture of the photos she had signed her autographs on before sending the picture to Clarke.

**Alexandria☆ - 5.32pm:** _I got the autographs :) I'll send them as soon as I can_

**Clarke :) - 5.38pm:** _two autographs?_

 **Alexandria☆ - 5.38pm:** _I know you said I didn't have to get you anything but I thought maybe you'd want one anyway and I was there..._

 **Clarke :) - 5.39pm:** _you're really sweet, thank you ♡_

Lexa blushed heavily and stared at the wall, smiling at nothing while holding her phone against her chin.

**Alexandria☆ - 5.39pm:** _you're welcome ♡_

It felt weird to send a heart emoji to someone but she felt that it would be rude to reply to a heart by a smiling emoji.

 

 

\---------------

 

 

"She really did it!?" Raven shouted when she saw the signed pictures at her return home, "Holy fucking shit!!" she screamed into Clarke's ear.

Clarke covered her ears, "I think you just made me lose twenty percent of my hearing, thanks a lot" she grumbled.

"I love your girlfriend" Raven said, kissing Clarke's cheek.

"She's not my girlfriend" Clarke mumbled.

 _"Please,_ as if you wouldn't ask her out if she lived close to us" Raven rolled her eyes.

"She doesn't live close to us"

"You didn't deny the fact that you would ask her out" Raven grinned.

Clarke groaned, "Why are you so sure that I'm into her?" she asked, getting up to retrieve two beer bottles from the fridge.

"Because I haven't ever seen you answer your texts that quickly" Raven said, "Also you keep smiling down at your phone like a love-struck idiot everytime she texts you. You like her"

Clarke stopped in her steps as realization dawned on her. Raven was right. She liked Alexandria. She hadn't been able to pinpoint that feeling she felt whenever she talked with the girl but Raven pointing it out to her with a tone devoid of all teasing made her stop and think.

She stayed silent for a few seconds, processing it, before her face turned into one of sadness, lips pulled downwards. She handed Raven a beer and sat next to her on the couch, "It doesn't matter" she said dejectedly, "It's never going to happen"

"Why are you saying that?"

"Because she is based in Los Angeles and she's almost always on the move because of her job...It just wouldn't work" Clarke's shoulders slumped.

"You don't know that" Raven placed a comforting hand on her shoulder, "Maybe someday she'll come here and this could turn into something beautiful"

"I like her, Rae" Clarke admitted, expressing her feelings out loud, "And I don't even know what she looks like" she laughed to herself but it had a sad note to it.

Raven smiled sadly, "That's even better" she reasoned, "You like her for who she is and not what she looks like. It's kinda beautiful"

Clarke looked pensive. She stared into space without saying anything. She was confused by all the things Alexandria could make her feel simply through text. Beside Raven, she had never connected so quickly with anyone, let alone someone she had never actually met and had only spoken to on the internet.

Quite honestly, it scared her how quickly she developed feelings for the mysterious girl who had unexpectedly answered to her tweet about her douchebag of an ex and then revealed herself to be a very sweet and intelligent girl. She didn't mean to develop feelings for that girl. It was inconvenient to do so when Alexandria lived miles away from her. It was impractical and she knew that but the heart wants what it wants.

"Should I stop talking to her?" Clarke asked, not knowing what to do.

"What? Why?"

"I don't want to end up heartbroken if this doesn't work, Rae" Clarke confessed, "I don't even know if she likes me like that"

"One. She'd be a fool not to. Two. You can't live your life afraid of the consequences of your every action. Life is about taking risks and this girl" Raven pointed at the phone, "she's exactly that, _a risk"_

Clarke blinked a few times, trying to sort out the mess that was her thoughts right now.

Raven wrapped an arm around her shoulders, "Maybe she's worth the risk but you won't know unless you try" she told the blonde.

"I don't know what to do..."

Raven nodded and sat straight on the couch, "Do you like talking to her?" she asked.

"Of course" Clarke said, "It's like...like I can tell her anything and she won't judge me" the blonde smiled slightly, "We can talk about anything and I think that's what I like the most"

"Sounds to me like you're already in too deep to back away now" Raven expressed her opinion.

Clarke knew she was right. Even if she tried, she wouldn't be able to resist the temptation to talk with Alexandria. But what if that was one-sided?

"What if this doesn't mean as much to her as it does to me?" Clarke voiced her doubts.

"Ask her" Raven said.

 

 

\------------------

 

 

She woke up because of the buzzing of her phone. They had gone to sleep early, knowing the next day would be tiring as well. She grabbed the device and winced when the bright light blinded her. A quick look to the bed on her right showed her that Luna was fortunately still sleeping.

 **Clarke :) - 9.45pm:** _I need to ask you something_

She frowned and got a little nervous when she read the vague message. The problem with texting is that there is no way to figure out the other person's feelings unless they are specifically expressed. Someone telling you that you need to talk is already scary enough in person, by text it just increases ten fold in terms of how dreadful it can be.

**Alexandria☆ - 9.46pm:** _is something wrong?_

**Clarke :) - 9.46pm:** _I don't know..._

 **Alexandria☆ - 9.47pm:** _Clarke, you're scaring me. What's wrong?_

Lexa waited for a text to come and it took a few minutes, minutes during which her brain came up with various reasons for Clarke's strange attitude, each one worse than the previous. The three dots appeared and disappeared a few times, causing Lexa's anxiety to grow, until finally, a message popped on her screen.

 **Clarke :) - 9.51pm:** _my roommate and I were talking and I just...I need to know what this means to you_

**Alexandria☆ - 9.51pm:** _I don't understand...what do you mean?_

Lexa was really confused as to what Clarke was referring to. She felt more awake now and her concern for the girl was growing progressively.

 **Clarke :) - 9.54pm:** _Is this just a distraction from work for you? I need to know if it is because I don't want to get attached if it's not gonna lead anywhere_

Lexa read the message a few times then understood what it was that Clarke meant.

 **Alexandria☆ - 9.56pm:** _are you asking me if I consider you a real friend?_

 **Clarke :) - 9.57pm:** _yes..._

 **Alexandria☆ - 9.58am:** _of course you're my friend. Do you think I've been talking to you for the past three months simply because I needed a distraction?_

 **Clarke :) - 9.59pm:** _I didn't know..._

Lexa smiled down at her phone, picturing that girl, somewhere in New York, worrying about whether or not she was the only one getting attached.

 **Alexandria☆ - 10.01pm:** _I value your friendship, Clarke. I value it a lot more than you think_

 

 

\--------------------

 

 

Clarke breathed a sigh of relief at those words. She had truly been afraid that she was only imagining the connection they had formed over the past few months.

**Clarke :) - 1.02am:** _I value it too :)_

**Clarke :) - 1.03am:** _Were you busy? Did I bother you? I'm sorry_

**Alexandria☆ - 1.03am:** _I was sleeping but it's okay. I'm just glad things are clear now_

Clarke smiled despite herself.

 **Clarke :) - 1.04am:** _I'll let you go back to sleep then. You probably have a long day ahead_

**Alexandria☆ - 1.04am:** _you have no idea lol. Goodnight, Clarke_

**Clarke :) - 1.05am:** _Goodnight xo_

 

 

\--------------

 

 

On Monday morning, Clarke went to her job with a happy bounce in her steps, "Hey, Niylah" she greeted her co-worker when she arrived at the coffee shop for her shift.

"Hey, Clarke" the girl smiled brightly at her, "You look oddly happy for someone who had to wake up early on a Monday morning"

Clarke walked up behind the counter, grabbed her apron, and put it on, tying it behind her back, "Just had a goodnight sleep" she lied.

She had spent a good part of the night talking to Alexandria who had told her she was now in Australia. Clarke learned that she was born there and had moved to America at the age of eighteen. Her and her sister had moved to the state of California to pursue their studies.

"Clarke?" Niylah waved a hand in front of her face to pull her out of her daydream.

Clarke hummed and focused back on the woman beside her, "What?"

"You kinda spaced out" Niylah chuckled, "I was asking if you had a nice weekend"

Clarke nodded, "It was nice, yeah" she smiled to herself, "Raven kept obsessing over Comic Con" she laughed a bit.

Niylah smiled, "That is quite an event" she hummed, "If it wasn't so expensive, I would probably go to see if it as fun as it looks"

Clarke was about to reply when they heard the sound of the door opening and both put on a professional mask to greet their new client.

 

 

\----------------

 

 

Her shift was nearing its end and she was getting ready to take off her apron, seeing that work was pretty slow right now and they weren't very likely to get any new customers until it was time for Monty to replace her. She felt someone grab her arm and turned around to see Niylah, standing there with her apron and purse in hand.

"I wanted to ask if you would like to grab a drink with me before going home" Niylah said.

Clarke didn't catch on the hidden intention behind that request and accepted, telling herself she could use a drink after today.

"I would offer a coffee but I'm sure you're fed up with it right now" Niylah joked as they entered a small bar-restaurant.

"Tell me about it" Clarke smiled and sat down next to the woman on a stool at the bar. They called for the bartender and each ordered a drink. Clarke asked for a mojito and Niylah ordered a simple beer.

"I didn't peg you for a cocktail kind of girl" Niylah smiled when their drinks arrived.

"I'm full of surprises" Clarke smirked and sipped her drink, humming at the taste.

"You seem different lately. Something happened?"

Clarke took another sip before speaking, "I met this girl on twitter and she's just...wonderful" she kept speaking, not noticing the way Niylah's face fell, "And I really like her"

"Does she live near here?" Niylah spoke in a thick voice as she tried to swallow down the hurt she felt.

Clarke sighed, "No" she quietly said, "She lives in Los Angeles and is pretty often on the move"

Clarke didn't see the glint of hope that appeared in Niylah's eyes. She was too busy staring at the bottom of her drink, swaying the liquid from side to side in thought.

"Sounds like a recipe for disaster" Niylah said.

Clarke hummed, "I know" she dejectedly mumbled, "But I really like her"

"Well, is she gay?"

Clarke laughed, "I'm pretty sure she is" she said, remembering Alexandria's twitter bio ; _Straight as a rainbow._

"Is she pretty?" Niylah held her beer bottle a little tighter but Clarke didn't take notice of it.

"I don't know" Clarke said.

Niylah frowned, "You mean you don't even know what she looks like?"

Clarke frowned, "I don't need to" she said.

"What if she isn't your type?"

"I don't have a type" Clarke countered.

Niylah shrugged, "I'm just saying, how can you know that you like her if you don't know what she looks like?"

"Looks aren't all there is" Clarke said, slightly offended and eyebrows furrowed as she emptied her drink and left a generous tip for the bartender, "Thanks for the drink, Niylah, but I have to go" she grabbed her purse and left the building.

"Shit" Niylah muttered under her breath as she watched the blonde leave. She caught the bartender staring at her, "What are you looking at?" she asked before dropping a bill on the counter and leaving.

 

 

\--------------

 

 

 **Clarke :) - 7.05pm:** _Do you think you can like someone without knowing what they look like?_

Clarke sent the message, needing to see if she was the only one who believed that. Maybe asking that to the person she was talking about wasn't the smartest thing to do but she had quickly found out that Alexandria was one of the only people she wanted to discuss that sort of thing with.

 **Alexandria☆ - 7.09pm:** _of course. You can fall in love with someone for who they are and not what they look like. It proves that you aren't focused on looks and that is a good thing in my opinion_

She smiled. Somehow, she knew Alexandria would understand.

 **Alexandria☆ - 7.09pm:** _why that sudden question?_

 **Clarke :) - 7.10pm:** _one of my co-workers who insinuated that you couldn't be sure you liked someone if you didn't know what they looked like and idk, I guess I just needed to make sure I wasn't the only one who thought otherwise_

**Alexandria☆ - 7.11pm:** _I can assure you there are a lot of people who think like you_

**Clarke :) - 7.11pm:** _and where are those people? Because it seems like I'm mostly surrounded by jackasses_

 

 

\--------------

 

 

Lexa laughed when she read the message. Clarke's question had hit a bit close to home seeing as she herself felt like she was starting to develop feelings for the faceless girl she had been talking to for months. Of course she thought you could fall in love with someone without knowing what they looked like. _**Looks aren't all there is,**_ she thought to herself.

 **Alexandria☆ - 10.12am:** _your best friend doesn't seem to be a jackass_

 **Clarke :) - 10.13am:** _no, I guess apart from her enormous ego, she's pretty cool ;)_

Lexa laughed and went into the kitchen to pour herself a cup of coffee. If her calculation was right, it must be around seven in the evening where Clarke was. It felt weird to know that it was still Monday in New York and that Clarke's day was ending while hers was only now beginning.

 **Alexandria☆ - 10.14am:** _speaking of your best friend, I just realized I don't know which address I should send the autographs to_

 **Clarke :) - 10.14am:** _my mom always told me not to give away personal information to strangers_

Lexa smiled.

**Alexandria☆ - 10.15am:** _I think we have moved past being strangers, don't you?_

Clarke replied by sending out her address.

 **Alexandria☆ - 10.16am:** _now I know where to go if I want to pay you guys a little visit ;)_

 **Clarke :) - 10.16am:** _whenever you want_

Lexa's heart skipped a beat and a smile drew itself on her features. It warmed her heart to know that Clarke would unquestioningly welcome her into her house, should she want to spend time there. She knew it wasn't likely to happen anytime soon but she still felt happy to see that Clarke trusted her like that.

**Alexandria☆ - 10.17am:** _I'll be honored to :)_

 

 

\----------------

 

 

Clarke stepped into the coffee shop for her shift and immediately, she caught Niylah looking at her apologetically.

"Clarke" the woman said, "Look, about what I said yesterday-"

"Don't worry about it" Clarke brushed it off, "We all see things differently, it's fine"

Niylah nodded and hesitated a few seconds before speaking again, "I'm sorry if what I said offended you in any way...I didn't mean to make you feel like your feelings were invalid or something"

"It's already forgotten" Clarke said, throwing her a small smile. She frowned when she saw Niylah take off her apron and hang it behind the counter. The girl's shift wasn't supposed to end now, "You're leaving?" she asked.

Niylah nodded, "Family thing that I can't miss" she explained, "I asked Bellamy to replace me" she nodded at the man who had entered the shop a few seconds prior to this.

"Hey, Bell" Clarke greeted with a smile.

"Hey, princess" he ruffled her hair and threw his apron over his head, "Looks like we'll be working together today"

Clarke shrugged, "I don't mind. As long as you don't make me do all the work" she said, knowing that Bellamy loved to slack at work.

"I would never" he said, winking at her.

Clarke knew that meant she would have to do most of the work. She sighed and prayed they wouldn't be flooded with customers today.

Three hours into her shift, the door opened with the usual sound of the bell hanging above it. Clarke looked up and froze when her eyes met Finn's. What the hell was her ex-boyfriend doing here in the middle of the day? From what she remembered, he never came here, not even when they were together, and expressed more than a few times his disgust for coffee.

"Clarke" the boy said, walking towards her, "Can we talk?"

"No, we can't" Clarke dryly replied before turning around to wash a few cups.

"Come on, don't be like that" Finn said, leaning over the counter.

Clarke put down the cup she was holding and turned around, sighing heavily, "Like what, Finn? I'm working. I don't have time for this"

Bellamy came out of the backroom and eyed Finn suspiciously, "Is everything alright here?"

"Yes"

"No"

Finn and Clarke replied at the same time. Bellamy narrowed his eyes at the man, "If you're not here to order anything, I'll kindly ask you to leave" he calmly said.

"Why? Because I want to talk?" Finn raised his voice. Clarke was thankful that there weren't too many customers left. She could only count five people, one elderly couple and three girls at the back of the shop.

"I don't want to talk to you, Finn" Clarke pinched the bridge of her nose.

"Why?" he tried to move behind the counter but Bellamy placed a hand on his chest, keeping him at a safe distance.

"Because you cheated on me" Clarke said, keeping her voice quiet as to not draw any more attention on them. She could already see the elderly couple stare at them from afar, "There is nothing to talk about"

"I made a mistake" Finn said and Clarke rolled her eyes, "I regret it, I really do and I want you back"

"Save it, Finn" Clarke said as she busied herself with a new customer who had just come in, "Hello, I'm Clarke. What can I get you?"

"Hi, a cappuc-"

The teenage girl was cut off when Finn spoke again, "Come on, I apologized. What more do you want?"

Clarke quickly apologized to the customer, then turned towards Finn, "I want you to leave" she looked back at the teenage girl, "So a cappuccino?"

"Yes and also-"

"So that's how this is gonna be, Clarke?" Finn's eyebrows were furrowed in anger, "Don't act like you're a fucking saint"

Clarke sighed and tried to ignore him to focus on the customer who looked uncomfortable right now. Bellamy moved to escort Finn outside, "That's enough. Get out of here" he said, dragging the boy out.

By now, all the customers were focused on them.

"You think I don't know how much of a fucking slut you are!?" Finn yelled, "You will come crawling back to me! I seem to remember how much you loved that dick, you whore! Remember how-"

He didn't get the chance to finish his sentence because Bellamy punched him square in the jaw.

"Don't ever talk about any of my friends like that" Bellamy lowly said before grabbing Finn and throwing him outside, "If you come close to her again, I'll make sure you can't recognize your own face in the mirror" he then closed the door, leaving a whimpering Finn on the ground outside of the building.

"Miss, are you okay?" the customer at the counter asked Clarke, placing a hand on the blonde's forearm.

Clarke swallowed heavily before nodding, "I'm fine" she said, fighting against the lump in her throat. She did not want to let Finn's words get to her. She was stronger than that, "I'll just...make you your cappuccino"

Bellamy placed a hand on her wrist, "I'll do it" he softly said, "Why don't you go home? I can handle your shift for the last twenty minutes"

Clarke's shoulders slumped, "I'm fine" she lied.

Bellamy saw right through it, "It's okay to admit when you're not fine. Go home. I've got this"

Clarke nodded, "Thank you" she said, a few tears escaping her eyes despite her attempts to stop them. She looked at the teenage girl still waiting at the counter, looking at her with slightly concerned eyes, "The cappuccino is on the house" she said, "Sorry for the trouble caused"

The teenage girl shook her head, "No, it's okay. I'll pay for it" she said, "It isn't your fault if that guy was an asshole to you" she pulled out a tissue out of her bag, "Here"

Clarke took the tissue, thanked her, and grabbed her jacket, shrugging it on before leaving the building, trying to contain her tears.

She got home twenty minutes later and had had time to calm down a bit. She had given herself a mental pep talk, telling herself that she wouldn't let him win by letting his words get to her.

It was easier said than done.

When she got home, she pulled out her phone and saw a few missed texts from a number she didn't recognize. It didn't take her long to realize that Finn was the one behind those texts, each more insulting than the previous one. Her tears fell freely down her cheeks. She felt hurt and humiliated by the harsh words he used. She was hurt by the way he made her feel as though she was just an object.

She blocked his number, tears slightly blinding her vision. Raven wasn't home so Clarke did the first thing she could think of. She called Alexandria without stopping to think too much about it or else she would take the coward's way out and hang up.

 _"Hello?"_ a voice came through the phone and Clarke was momentarily taken aback by how soft it sounded.

She was so lost in her thoughts that she forgot to reply, the only sound escaping her lips being the sharp intakes of breath.

_"Clarke?"_

The way the girl said her name was different than the way other people did. It was beautiful and had Clarke not been crying, she would have been able to enjoy it.

The blonde sniffled into the phone.

 _"Clarke, are you okay?"_ Alexandria sounded very concerned.

"N-no" Clarke's voice cracked.

 _"What's wrong?"_ Alexandria softly asked.

"Finn" Clarke said through sobs, "he just...h-he" she took a shaky breath.

 _"Calm down, Clarke. It's okay, just breathe slowly"_ Alexandria instructed, _"I'm here. Just tell me what happened"_

Clarke didn't know how to explain it, "I'll show you" she said.

 

 

<<<>>>

 

 

Lexa was confused. What did Clarke mean by _I'll show you?_ Her question was answered a few seconds later when Clarke sent her screenshots of text messages via twitter. She read them and could still hear Clarke's occasional sniffle through the phone, "Clarke..." she quietly said when she had finished reading them.

 _"He...said those things and-"_ a small hiccup interrupted her words, _"I don't know"_

Lexa felt anger growing inside of her each time she read the texts sent by Finn. She closed the twitter app, knowing getting angry wouldn't help Clarke in any way right now.

"None of it was true" Lexa softly said, "And you know that. He only said those things to get a reaction from you. I know those words hurt but don't give him that satisfaction"

The line was silent for a few moments and Lexa was worried she had said the wrong thing.

"Clarke?"

She heard the clearing of a throat, followed by a small apology for spacing out, _"You're right...I know you're right but..."_ she trailed off.

Lexa understood that what the girl needed right now was a distraction, something else to occupy her mind with. She racked her brain in search of something to talk about other than Clarke's ex.

"When I was nine, my parents took me and my sister camping and at night, we heard some noise coming from outside" she started saying and could only hear Clarke's quiet sniffles, meaning the girl was listening to her, "We were scared to death. My sister likes to pretend she's all tough but I think she might have pissed herself a little. She would deny it if you asked, though"

A small, watery laugh reached Lexa's ears and she smiled at the sound which she found beautiful.

"She still wanted to act brave though. She was three years older than I was so she offered to go check outside" Lexa continued her story.

 _"What happened after?"_ Clarke very quietly asked after a few seconds of silence.

Lexa smiled, "She told me to stay in the back of the tent and slowly slid down the zipper to open it. When I tell you slowly, I mean it. I almost thought the sun would rise before she got it open"

Lexa's ears were once again blessed by the sound of Clarke's laughter and she smiled brightly.

"Turns out the big scary noises in the night was only my father who was trying to find his way back to his tent in the dark after going into the woods to pee. To this day, Anya still pretends that she wasn't scared at all but I know the truth"

She heard a sniffle from the other end, _"That's a nice story"_ Clarke quietly said, _"but what does it have to do with my ex?"_ the confusion could be heard in her voice.

Lexa smiled, "Nothing" she said, "I just thought you could use a distraction" she explained.

She didn't hear anything for a few seconds before Clarke spoke almost in a whisper, _"Thank you"_

"Anytime" Lexa replied, holding the phone very close to her ear so she could hear Clarke better.

A comfortable silence settled between them. No words needed to be exchanged as they were both content to just stay like this, knowing that the other person was there with them, at the other end of the line.

 _"Alexandria?"_ Clarke broke the silence after a couple minutes.

"Yeah?" Lexa quietly said.

_"You have a beautiful voice"_

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to all the people who sent kind messages following the notes on the second chapter :) It helped me a lot


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is chapter 4 ;) It was my favorite to write so far

 

 

 

 

"When do you go back to work?" Clarke asked.

_"_ _In two months_ _"_  Alexandria responded.

"That's a long vacation" Clarke hummed and got distracted when Raven called her name, "Wait up, Raven is calling me. I gotta make sure she hasn't blown anything up"

She heard soft laughter coming through the phone and smiled to herself. She had it bad. She had it really bad.

 

<<<>>> 

 

_"Griffin, check this out"_  Lexa heard someone say and assumed it was Raven since Clarke had just mentioned the girl.

Her brain stopped on the name Griffin. ** _Is this her last name?_** She asked herself and wrote it down as to not forget. Maybe she could find her other social media with it and learn more about the girl. In a totally non-stalker-type way, of course, she told herself.

_"I'm back"_  Clarke said,  _"The autographs you sent have just arrived today and Raven is overjoyed right now"_  she laughed a bit,  _"Thank you"_

"I'm glad you recei-"

She was cut off when Raven grabbed the phone and yelled a  _thank you_  into it, forcing Lexa to tear the device away from her ears.

"You're welcome, Raven but please, no need to make me deaf" 

She heard silence from the other line before she heard a soft gasp,  _"You sound just like Lexa Woods"_  Raven said and Lexa started panicking.

"Oh, really? No one's ever told me that before" she laughed nervously.

_"Trust me, I would know"_  Raven said,  _"I have watched every single video featuring her on earth and lemme tell you, that woman is the most beautiful, amazing, talented, incre-"_

_"Alright, Raven. I think you've made your point"_  she heard Clarke say, _"Sorry about her"_ she added, _"She can be a bit much to handle sometimes"_

_"You love me, Griffin"_  Raven shouted.

Lexa laughed a bit, "She seems nice"

_"Oh, trust me. She is anything but nice"_  

 

\-------------

 

After hanging up the phone, Lexa poured herself a cup of coffee and typed in  _Clarke Griffin_  in the instagram search bar. It didn't take her too long to find a profile that seemed to match.

Lexa took a sip of her drink as she clicked on the profile and nearly choked on her coffee when she saw bright blue eyes and wavy blonde hair. Clarke was absolutely gorgeous.

Lexa checked a few posts and stumbled across one of Clarke with one of her friends. It was from a few weeks ago and the caption under the picture said:  _that asshole got drunk and left me alone at the bar while she made out with some boy **@raven_reyes** I hate you, in case you forgot._

Yup, no doubt about it, this was the Clarke she had been talking to for the past four months or so and the girl on the picture must be Raven, the best friend.

Lexa couldn't believe she had been talking back and forth with such a beautiful woman. Admittedly, when she had heard Clarke's raspy voice, she had told herself that the girl must be pretty hot but nothing prepared her for the beauty that is Clarke Griffin.

She dialed her sister's number and it picked up after only two rings. Anya didn't have time to say anything because Lexa immediately started talking.

"Anya I think I have a problem" she said in a grave tone.

_"What's wrong?"_  Anya worriedly asked.

"It's about Clarke"

She heard Anya sigh and already knew what the older girl would say, _"I told you to be careful"_

"It's not about that" Lexa quickly said, "I'm being careful"

_"Then what is it?"_

"Clarke, she's...she's very pretty" Lexa dramatically said in a whisper as if she was delivering some kind of secret.

_"Lexa, you useless lesbian"_  Anya said before hanging up.

"What.." Lexa stared at the screen of the phone in shock, "Gee, thanks..." she muttered before clicking back on the instagram app.

She scrolled down Clarke's instagram and her eyes widened when she stumbled across a picture of the blonde in a revealing two-piece bathing suit.

She let out a yelp and closed the app as fast as possible, cheeks tinted in a deep shade of red, "Sorry, I didn't mean to look" she apologized to no one in particular.

She tried to get the image out of her head but her mind was filled with flashes of Clarke's ample chest, of her perfect legs and of her curvy hips. ** _I'm so screwed,_** Lexa thought to herself, dropping her face in her hands.

 

\---------------

 

Aden turned the keys in the lock and stepped into the house, wiping his shoes on the entry mat before sliding them off his feet and placing them next to the others. He noticed his sister's shoes, meaning she was home and he almost let out a squeal of joy at that. He stepped through the living room and saw the figure of his sister, back turned to him, looking at something _-or rather someone-_ very intently on her phone.

He quietly got closer and looked over the actress' shoulder, catching sight of a picture of a blonde girl who looked to be his sister's age, maybe a little younger. He almost laughed at the way Lexa carefully scrolled through all the pictures on the blonde's profile, seemingly careful not to accidently like anything.

He stayed like this for a couple minutes before growing bored. Besides, he had missed his sister and wanted nothing more than a hug from her. He jumped on her, wrapping both of his arms around her shoulders from behind, "You're back!!" 

Lexa slightly jumped but relaxed when she realized it was only her little brother, "Hey, Aden" she said, getting up to hug him properly, "I missed you, you little asswipe"

"Missed you too, jackass" he replied with a huge grin, "How long are you staying?" he asked, taking a seat on the couch and she sat back next to him.

"Two months" she announced with a big smile.

"Whoa, really!?" he asked for confirmation, barely able to contain his excitement, and he got it in the form of a nod. Aden threw himself into her arms, "Yessss" he whispered as he held her tight, "I'm so happy" he grinned widely.

Lexa couldn't help but share his excitement. It wasn't easy to find time to hang out with her brother because of her job so she took full advantages of the breaks she was granted in between filming and never missed a chance to come back home, to her roots.

It hadn't been easy when, on her eighteenth birthday, Lexa had to announce to him that she would move to the states to try to make her dream come true and become an actress. This was six years ago and the boy was only six years old back then, not really understanding the real implications of such a move.

Anya had already moved to America a few months back which meant the boy became the only child at home. It almost felt like being an only child and he missed his sisters dearly which is why he would always fully enjoy the time he got to spend with them when they were home, even if just for a short period of time. Lexa tried to visit as much as she could but as her success grew, her visits decreased in frequency. As much as Aden understood why she wasn't always available for him, it still hurt to see less and less of his sister.

"Now let's discuss important matters" Aden announced, breaking Lexa out of her thoughts, "Who was that girl you were gawking at for five whole minutes?" he nodded at her phone.

"None of your business" Lexa said, her cheeks taking on a red shade.

"Lexie has a crush, Lexie has a crush" he started yelling through the house, "Lexie has a c-"

Lexa placed a hand over his mouth, "Shut up, I do not have a crush. You don't _\- ew!"_ she retracted her hand when he licked it, "That's gross, Aden"

He laughed and lay down on the couch, letting his head rest on Lexa's lap. The brunette started stroking his hair.

"So who's that girl?" Aden asked in a more serious tone, "She's pretty"

Lexa hummed, "It's a girl I met on twitter" she admitted, "We've been talking a lot since then" she said as she traced circles on the boy's scalp.

"Does she know who you are?" he asked, closing his eyes and humming at the feeling of Lexa's fingers in his hair.

Lexa sighed, "No. No, she doesn't know" she shook her head, "It's not exactly the kind of thing I can just insert in a conversation like  _Hey, by the way, I'm that famous actress on this show about zombies_ "

Aden laughed a bit, "You know, people still refuse to believe me when I tell them Lexa Woods is my sister. They keep saying that the pictures I show them are photoshopped" he said.

Lexa laughed, "Sorry, bro, but you won't get popular on my back" she said.

Aden let out a whine, "Why not? You could drop me at school tomorrow?" he suggested, "That would shut them all up for good" 

"I can't risk it" Lexa sighed, "If paparazzi catch word that I'm here, I can kiss goodbye my nice time of relaxation with my family" she said, "But hey, I have an idea" she said.

"Yeah?"

Lexa nodded and pulled out her phone. She took a picture of the two of them and posted it on twitter.

**Lexa Woods** _@lexawoods:_ _With the little bro for some much needed family time @AdenWoods #TheWoodsFamily **https:\\\attached-file.jpg** _

"Be warned, once I post this, there is no turning back" she dramatically hovered her thumb over the tweet button, "Are you sure you are ready for that kind of fame?"

"Do it" Aden grinned and Lexa did as told. 

Immediately, Aden pulled out his own phone and posted the link to the tweet on the facebook group of his class.

**Aden Woods:** _**https:\\\twitter\afg0h3pjrt.jpg** _   _Told y'all assholes that she was my sister. Bow before me, pathetic Muggles._

Lexa laughed at the Harry Potter reference.

"Thanks, Lex" Aden smiled up at her and laid his head back on her lap, "So about that blonde girl..." he restarted the topic, "Do you like her?"

Lexa stayed silent before a smile drew itself on her features, "I think so, buddy" she said, "I think I do" she repeated.

"At least you have good taste" he smirked, "She's really hot" he said.

She laughed, "And too old for you" she smacked him on the forehead, drawing a small pained sound from him.

Aden smiled, "Where does she live?"

Lexa sighed, "Far" she said, "In New York..."

Aden smiled sympathetically , "It sucks...but maybe you'll stop by New York at some point" he reasoned.

Lexa nodded, "Yeah, maybe" she said, "I hope so" she smiled a bit.

"So you plan on telling her who you are? Isn't it a bit dangerous?"

Lexa nodded. She knew the risks of revealing herself to Clarke. Anya had kindly reminded her of them many times. Still, she wanted to trust Clarke and tell her who she was.

"It is" she said, "But maybe the risk is worth it" she thought out loud, her hand stilling in her brother's hair.

Aden hummed, "Yeah, maybe" he agreed, "Now keep stroking my hair" he said and Lexa laughed, obliging.

 

**_\---_ ** **_Two months later_ ** **_\---_ **

 

"Hold on a second" Clarke said, not sure she heard right, "You'll be in New York?" she received a hum in reply, "Next week?" 

Another hum.

"This...this is amazing" Clarke smiled brightly, "I mean, we could hang out?" she suggested, "If you want to" she added.

 

<<<>>> 

 

Lexa knew she needed to say something or else it would sound as though she wasn't excited at the prospect to meet Clarke. She really should have prepared better before calling the blonde.

"Yeah, that would be nice" 

Oh God, Anya was going to kill her. No doubt about it now. Lexa wanted to smack herself on the forehead and try to find an excuse as to why she cannot hang out with Clarke but all thoughts of doing that vanished when she heard an excited squeal come from the other end of the phone.

_"I'm so happy!"_  Clarke said, _"This is going to be great! I can't wait!"_

Lexa knew she needed to call Anya.

"Me neither" she softly said, "I have to go back to work now. Talk to you later?"

_"Of course"_  Clarke answered,  _"Talk to you soon"_ she said before hanging up.

Lexa smiled and sighed before calling Anya again, _"Hey, sis"_  the older girl greeted,  _"What's up?"_

"I think I made a mistake...or not...I'm not sure"

_"What happened?"_

"I told Clarke I'd love to hang out with her when I'm in New York"

Silence. That was all she got from the other end.

"Anya?" she said in a small voice, finding the silence worrying, "Are you still there?"

Anya sighed,  _"I won't lecture you if you think this is what's gonna happen"_  she said,  _"You have been talking to that girl for months now so I guess it was bound to happen"_

"What was bound to happen?" Lexa asked, frowning.

_"You falling for her"_  Anya said, not a hint of teasing in her voice.

"I'm not-" Lexa quickly said, "I didn't fall for her"

_"Who are you trying to convince? Me or yourself?"_  Anya asked and Lexa blinked a few times.

"I don't...." she didn't finish her sentence.

_**I didn't fall for Clarke,**_ she repeated over and over in her head in a futile attempt to deny what she has known for weeks now.  ** _Who am I kidding?_**  she mentally asked herself.

"It doesn't matter" she said, "Because nothing could ever happen" she reasoned almost robotically, as if repeating something she had told herself many times in the past without actually thinking it.

_"Look, Lexa..."_  Anya started speaking, _"I know I told you to stay careful and everything but...I think you should give this a chance"_  she said.

Lexa blinked once, then twice, mouth agape as she wondered if she had heard this right, "You...you support this?" she asked in a small voice.

_"As your manager, I should not"_  Anya said before hurrying to continue,  _"But as your sister...I just want you to be happy and talking to that girl has had a positive impact on you"_

"You mean that?"

Anya nodded,  _"I feel like I finally have my sister back"_  she confessed, _"And it feels really nice"_

Lexa swallowed down the lump in her throat, "I'm sorry I caused you so much trouble before" she quietly said.

"It's okay, Lexa" Anya gently said, "You were in a bad place and there was nothing me or anyone  could do about it. Except for that girl" she quickly added, "She brought back my sister and that is reason enough for me to encourage this"

 

_\---Eight months ago---_

 

_"Lexa, can you please open that door?" Anya said, knocking on the wooden door of the actress' trailer._

_She heard the click of the lock and pushed the door open. She softly gasped and then sighed deeply when she saw bottles of alcohol littering the floor as well as used tissues._

_"Lexa..." she crouched down next to the actress who was way beyond tipsy at this point._

_She pried the bottle out of her hand and lifted her head with her hands. The brunette's eyes were unfocused and tears were running down her cheeks._

_"Why do you do this to yourself?" Anya asked as she got up to pour water into a glass and handed it to her sister._

_Lexa shakily drank it and dropped it beside her before starting to cry again, "I'm so, so tired" she slurred._

_Anya knew what this was about. This wasn't the first time she entered her sister's lounge or apartment and found her in a similar state, alcohol running through her veins._

_On one late evening, Lexa had finally told her what it was all about. The actress was suffering from depression and the pressure of fame and of hiding her sexuality were taking such a toll on her that she would drown herself in alcohol to forget, even if just momentarily, without mentioning the hit she had taken when Costia had broken up with her a few months back._

_Anya had tried to convince her that coming out could be a way to free herself of all of this but Lexa had shaken her head, claiming it was too scary and she could never do that._

_Anya checked the cupboards to make sure there was no alcohol left. Once that was done, she gently lay_ _Lexa on the bed and sat down next to the brunette as she fell asleep._

_She rubbed a hand over her face and got up, cleaning the mess it had become in the span of a week. She prayed to every god in existence that her sister would find her way back to her real self soon._

_Her prayers were answered three months later when Lexa started chatting with a girl online and slowly but surely, her sister's smile reappeared._

_Anya didn't know the girl Lexa was talking to but she knew that if she were to ever meet her, she would have to thank her for bringing her sister back to her._

 

_\---Present time---_

 

"I'm so sorry for all the hurt I caused you" Lexa mumbled into the phone

_"Hey, now"_ Anya gently said, _"There's nothing to feel sorry for"_ she assured the brunette, _"I'm just glad you're okay now"_  

Lexa nodded, "I love you, An" she all but whispered.

_"I love you too"_ Anya said, _"Now go pack your bags because we have to go back to Los Angeles_ _tomorrow_ _before heading to New York for the promotional interview. The producers want to see you"_

"Okay" Lexa agreed, "I'll call you as soon as it's done" she told her sister, "Thank you, An"

_"And Lex, do me a favor and get rid of the alcohol in your apartment when you get back to Los Angeles...I don't want you to fall back into alcoholism"_

"I will" Lexa promised, "But I've been better, An...I really feel like I finally got my life back on tracks" she smiled, "I've stopped drinking...I've started writing songs again" 

Music had always been another passion of Lexa _-after acting-_ and she had kind of given up on that when she fell into depression. She had written a total amount of one song in the span of six months and had barely touched her guitar and her piano.

_"I know. I've seen some pages filled with lyrics splattered around the floor of our childhood home_ _"_  Anya said and the smile could be heard in her voice,  _"And I'm really happy for you"_  she said,  _"Have a nice evening, sis"_

"You too, love you" Lexa said before hanging up.

 

\---------------

 

Luna clung to her arm as they walked through the busy streets of New York, "Isn't it amazing to be here?" the girl said, looking around with a bright smile.

Lexa nodded because it was. She had only been to New York once in her life before and it had been very brief. She had only stayed for a few hours because she was needed back in Los Angeles to shoot a few more scenes.

"We should go and get a coffee" Luna exclaimed when she spotted a coffee shop near Central Park.

Lexa agreed and followed the girl into the building. The coffee shop was small and had a very cozy and friendly atmosphere to it. She liked it.

On the wall behind her, there were various paintings of New York's landscapes. She felt drawn to those paintings and the energy that emanated from it. They were absolutely beautiful and she found herself completely fascinated by them. By the time she detached her eyes from the paintings, the whole coffee shop was staring at her.

But those people were not what Lexa noticed. Her eyes widened and her heart missed a beat when her eyes landed on the girl standing behind the counter, eyes wide.

_Clarke._

She didn't register the people walking towards them to ask for an autograph as her gaze remained fixed on the blue eyes staring back at her, getting lost in them.

Clarke cleared her throat and shook her head a little, "Um, hi" she smiled brightly and Lexa's heart leaped in her chest at the sight of it, "What can I get you?"

Lexa shook herself out of the trance she had found herself in and her brain caught up with the question she had been asked, "Uh, yeah" she nodded dumbly, "A, uh, a black coffee, please" she stuttered out, smiling briefly. She couldn't get her mind to work properly in that moment. Clarke was even more beautiful in person and it really wasn't fair. 

Clarke nodded and looked to be just as dazed in that moment. After all, it was not every day that you received famous people in your place of work. She clumsily retrieved a cup and fumbled with the coffee machine. She must have pressed on the wrong button because coffee started pouring out of the machine and onto her hands.

_"Shit"_ she hissed at the heat of the liquid and retracted her hands before quickly placing a cup under the coffee machine but the flow seemed endless and soon, coffee started dripping down onto the floor,  _"Shit, shit, shit"_  she muttered under her breath.

Lexa quickly grabbed a few napkins and walked behind the counter, "Here" she handed them to Clarke.

"Thanks" Clarke smiled tensely, "I'm so sorry" she said in a panicked state, pressing a few buttons to try to make it stop, "Fuck" she slammed her hand against the machine and coffee splashed onto her shirt, "Fucking hell" she said, stepping away. This just had to happen the day she decided to wear a white shirt and then proceeded to forget to put on her apron.

Lexa laughed a bit and hurried to unplug the machine. The flow of coffee tampered off, effectively putting an end to the blonde's panic.

Clarke looked down at her shirt, coffee stains on it, "I'm so sorry" she apologized again, "I swear this doesn't usually happen" 

Lexa chuckled and handed more napkins to the girl so she could wipe at her skin, forearms covered in coffee, "It's okay" she reassured the girl, "Are you okay?" she asked.

Clarke laughed and looked down at her ruined shirt, "As okay as I can be after being attacked by coffee" she said, holding her sticky hands away from her clothes.

Luna gestured at Lexa that she would take a seat at one of the tables in the back and Lexa told her she would join her soon.

"Only I would do something like that when a freaking celebrity walks into the shop" she laughed at herself.

Lexa smiled, "I have a spare shirt in my bag if you want" she told Clarke.

Clarke shook her head, "Oh no, that won't be necessary" she said, "I've already caused too much trouble"

"I insist" Lexa said, pulling a plain, grey button up shirt from her bag, "Here, take this" she handed it to Clarke before she grabbed a wet towel and crouched down to wipe at the floor.

"Oh, no" Clarke shook her head and crouched down in front of her, "I will do this" she said, "You've helped more than enough already" 

She tried to grab the towel and her fingers brushed against Lexa's. At the contact they both looked up and once again, Lexa lost herself in a sea of blue.

"I want to help" she heard herself say without really realizing she was speaking, "Besides, you have to go and change your shirt" she pointed at the blonde's shirt.

"But-"

Lexa placed a hand over her forearm and ignored the way her heart started beating faster at the contact, "Let me do this" she softly said, "I won't take no for an answer"

Clarke gulped. Their faces were dangerously close. She let out a small sigh and nodded, "Thank you" she said, "Thank you so much and I'm so sorry again" she rushed out before getting up, Lexa's hand falling from where it rested on her arm, "I'm gonna..." she pointed at the backroom, trying and failing to ignore the tingles the actress' hand had left on her skin.

Lexa smiled and nodded at her before focusing back on wiping the coffee stains off the floor. By now, she could see that a group of paparazzi had gathered around the shop and were trying to get in, stopped by Luna who had gotten out of her seat to prevent them from invading the place.

Lexa shot Luna a thankful smile and got back up, throwing the wet towel next to the coffee maker. She grabbed a dry towel and started drying off the floor. We wouldn't want Clarke to slip and fall when she came back.

Clarke reappeared from the backroom and Lexa had to repress a smile at the sight of the blonde in her shirt. It definitely looked better on Clarke than on her.

The blonde seemed to be a little uncomfortable and Lexa frowned, "Is something wrong?"

Clarke looked up and shook her head, "No, it's okay" she lied, pulling at the fabric of the dress shirt.

Lexa looked at her for a few seconds before her gaze dropped to her chest and she understood with a blush. The shirt was too tight for the blonde.

"It's too tight, isn't it?" she asked with a small laugh.

Clarke laughed too as she nodded, "Yeah, but it's okay" she said, smiling.

"I'm sorry...my...my chest isn't very...developed" she all but whispered the last word, ears red from embarrassment.

Clarke chuckled, "Well, mine is bigger than average so really, it isn't your fault" she said.

Lexa was careful to keep her gaze on Clarke's face and not lower when she approached her, "Maybe if you just..." she said before tentatively reaching out, giving Clarke the time to step away if she wanted to.

When the blonde didn't budge, Lexa took the top button and undid it, doing the same thing with the second to top button, loosening the shirt a little without exposing Clarke's chest too much.

"Thanks" Clarke said, cheeks flushed from the close contact.

A customer coming into the shop and walking up to the counter broke them out of the bubble they had found themselves in.

"I have to..." Clarke gestured to the new customer and Lexa nodded in understanding, "But stay, I'll make your coffee right after. And it's on the house" she added, "As an apology, you know" Clarke plugged back the coffee maker.

"I'll still pay for it" Lexa smiled and stepped back to let Clarke do her job. 

Pictures really didn't do Clarke justice and Lexa was left in complete awe of her as she watched her work.

"Ms. Woods" she heard her name being called and shook her head a little before walking up to the counter, "Your coffee" Clarke smiled warmly.

Lexa accepted it with a small smile, "You can call me Lexa" she said, amused, "I think we have moved past formalities now" she grabbed her coffee but didn't move just yet.

She wanted to stay a bit longer with the clumsy and beautiful barista she had fallen for through their messages and for whom she could feel herself start to fall even harder now that she had met her in person. She really wanted to stay but the light of flashes going off reminded her of the presence of paparazzi .

"I should..." she gestured at Luna who was still trying to contain the horde of paparazzi outside, "Sorry about them..." she apologized, "They can be a bit much" she laughed, rubbing the back of her neck.

Clarke shook her head, "It's okay. Not your fault that they're assholes with no boundaries" she smiled.

Lexa let out a full-blown laugh and Clarke immediately decided that she loved that sound. It was different from the ones in interviews which sometimes sounded fake and rehearsed. This laugh was genuine and just beautiful.

Lexa called Anya to warn her of the situation and only a few minutes later, the older girl had dealt with it and sent the paparazzi on their way.

"Thanks, An" Lexa said when they had all disappeared.

"You're welcome" Anya smiled, "I'll leave you to your coffee now" she smiled, "Remember you have an interview in three hours" she said, "Don't be late"

"I won't" Lexa assured her before they said goodbye and she headed back inside, "That must be one hell of a day for you" she told Clarke as she picked up her cup of coffee.

Clarke laughed, "It changes from the usual quiet, that's for sure, but I'm not complaining" she said.

Lexa smiled and turned her head towards Luna when the girl called her over so they could sit down at a table to finally drink their coffee. She gestured at the girl that she would be there in two minutes.

Clarke grimaced when she realized something, "Your coffee must be cold now" she said, "This is the worst customer service ever" she dropped her head in one of her hands.

"Hey" Lexa placed a hand on top of the one the blonde had rested on the counter, "This has actually been my best experience in a shop since I became an actress"

Clarke looked through her fingers, "Then you must not have been to a lot of shops since then" she said.

Lexa laughed and slowly retracted her hand, her fingers brushing against Clarke's skin as she did so, "People always treat me like Lexa Woods, the famous actress. No matter where I go, this is all I am to them so it was nice to be treated like...like a normal person for once" she smiled at the blonde, "Thank you for that"

Clarke was at loss for words. She just watched as the actress made her way towards a table a few feet away and sat down in front of her co-star. A smile grew on her features and she pulled out her phone to text Raven.

**Griffindor -** **2.15pm** **:** _You will never guess who walked into the shop_

**Rae the bae -** **2.16pm** **:**   _Bill Gates? Selena Gomez? Oh, wait I know, your mom?_

**Griffindor - 2.16p _m:_ ** _Hilarious. And no, no and no. You're gonna freak out :_ _Lexa freaking Woods_

**Rae the bae -** **2.16pm** **:**    _OH MY GOD AFRSQLQGRSJS I'M ON MY WAY_

Clarke laughed and pocketed her phone but her laughter was cut short when she realized something, "Shit" she said. She walked towards Lexa's table, "Miss Woods _, er,_ Lexa" she corrected herself, "Can I speak with you for a second?"

Lexa smiled and nodded before sliding her chair backwards, "I'll be right back" she told Luna before following Clarke to the backroom.

Clarke closed her eyes and started speaking really quickly, "I'm sorry but I told my best friend you were here and she's like a really really huge fan and I apologize in advance for whatever she'll do" 

Lexa smiled, remembering all the times Clarke told her about Raven's obsession over her and her career, "It's fine. I love meeting fans" she reassured her. 

"I'm not sure you understand how big of a fan she is" Clarke said and Lexa laughed. The blonde's heart might have skipped a beat at the sound.

"I think I'll manage" the brunette said before walking out of the backroom just as a very excited girl entered the shop.

"HOLY SHIT" Raven exclaimed, "YOU WEREN'T LYING, GRIFFIN" she yelled.

"Raven!" Clarke hissed lowly, "Keep your voice down, damn it"

"Sorry, Griffin, but you don't just keep your voice down when Lexa Woods is standing in front of you. This is simply impossible" Raven said, before walking towards Lexa, "Hi" 

Lexa laughed, "Hello, Raven" she greeted the girl.

"Fuck, she said my name. That's hot" Raven said, completely disregarding the fact that Lexa was still standing right there.

Clarke face palmed and smiled apologetically at Lexa, _"I'm so sorry"_ she mouthed at the girl who simply waved her hand to signal that it didn't bother her.

_"Oompf"_  Lexa let out when Raven's body crashed into hers in a tight hug, "Okay, I guess you can have a hug, yeah" she said, laughing a bit.

She glanced at Clarke and saw the blonde shrinking in shame behind the counter, "Oh my god" Clarke muttered under her breath, "I regret telling you" she told Raven.

"Can I have a picture with you?" Raven asked.

Lexa nodded, "Yeah, sure" she walked next to the girl as she pulled out her phone.

"Griffin!" Raven called, "Bring that beautiful ass of yours over here" she motioned for the blonde to come.

"Raven, I'm working" Clarke reminded her.

Raven looked around at the nearly empty coffee shop and raised an eyebrow, "Seriously? That's your excuse? Are we really going to pretend you haven't watched three hours worth of footage with Lexa in it?"

Lexa's eyebrows shot up at this new information and she looked at Clarke with a smug look.

"That's not..." Clarke had no idea what to say because it was true, "I knew I shouldn't have texted you" she grumbled as she placed herself beside Lexa.

The brunette looked at the blonde and smiled. She couldn't tear her eyes away from her and barely registered Raven saying that the picture had been taken.

"Damn, Woods" Raven said when she looked down at the picture, "Tone it down with the heart eyes at my best friend" she teased.

Lexa blushed, "I wasn't, um, I mean..." she stammered out, heat spreading through her cheeks. 

She didn't dare make eye contact with Clarke but if she had, she would have seen the small smile tugging at her lips when she saw the picture.

Raven's phone dinged and she sighed, "Gotta go to work..." she regretfully said before looking up at Lexa, "It was nice meeting you. I'm such a big fan honestly"

"That's what I understood" Lexa laughed a bit, "I'm flattered you came all the way just for me"

Raven shrugged, "I live two streets down, not really an accomplishment. Though I would travel half of the world just to see you" she winked at the actress.

"Raven" Clarke sighed.

"I'm leaving, I'm leaving" Raven said, "See ya at the apartment, Griffin" she winked and went to leave the shop, not without surprising Lexa with another hug.

"She's..." Lexa started speaking once Raven was gone.

"Crazy?" Clarke suggested, drawing a laugh from Lexa.

"I was gonna say very confident" she smiled at Clarke.

Her eyes met Luna's and she suddenly felt bad. She had come here to share a cup of coffee with the other girl and had spent most of that time ignoring her.

"I should go back to my table" she said with an apologetic smile.

"Right" Clarke tried not too sound too disappointed, "And your coffee is definitely cold now" she added, "I'm sorry"

"It's okay" Lexa reassured her before joining Luna at the table.

 

\-----------------

 

She told Luna to get a head start and leave without her and she headed towards the counter, not wanting to leave without speaking with Clarke once more. Luna and herself had been pretty lucky and had only been interrupted twice for autographs during their time there.

"Hey" she said, leaning on the counter, smiling brightly.

"Oh, h-hey" Clarke said, smiling back, "Your friend is leaving without you, I think" she pointed at Luna who was outside.

"I told her to get a head start" Lexa shrugged, "Didn't want to leave without saying goodbye to the clumsy barista" she smiled.

Clarke chuckled, "Yeah, that's me" she shook her head, "Sorry again about all of this"

"Don't apologize" Lexa said, "I haven't enjoyed having a cup of coffee that much in a long time"

"But it was cold" Clarke cringed.

"The coffee wasn't actually the reason I enjoyed my time here" she flirted while keeping her eyes on Clarke the whole time.

Clarke's heart started beating faster and she felt her cheeks heat up.  ** _Is she flirting with me?_**  she wondered.

"Oh" Clarke chuckled nervously, not really knowing what to say. She ducked her head and smiled to herself.

**_She's adorable,_ ** Lexa thought to herself, "And you know what? Next time I stop by, I'll make sure to drink the coffee while it's still hot" she smiled.

Her words took a few seconds to register with Clarke's mind but when it did, her lips broke into a smile, "You'll be coming back?" Clarke tried not to sound too hopeful. Spoiler: she failed.

Lexa nodded and smiled again, "Definitely" she promised.

"Why?" Clarke blurted out, "I mean, it can't be for the customer service...which I apologize for again. Today really wasn't my day"

"I happen to think you did amazing" Lexa complimented and watched happily as Clarke's cheeks turned even more red.

"Thank you" Clarke quietly said.

Lexa smiled, "When's your next shift?" she asked.

Clarke thought about it for a second, "Tomorrow afternoon" she said, "From two to six" she clarified.

Lexa grinned, "See you then" she winked and dropped a fifty dollar bill on the counter before heading towards the exit.

"But...this is way too much money" Clarke said, before the girl could disappear.

Lexa smiled, "You deserved a really good tip" she said, "And you can keep the shirt. It looks way better on you anyway" she added before leaving, throwing one last smile at Clarke over her shoulder.

Clarke looked at her retreating figure as she crossed the street and the blonde smiled to herself, looking down at the actress' shirt.

She pulled out her phone and clicked on Alexandria's contact.

**Clarke :) -** **2.55pm** **:** _you will never guess what just happened_

 

 

 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My heart goes out to the victims of the terrorist attack in Las Vegas, to their families and to anyone who has been affected by it...This is truly heartbreaking news. I will never understand the motives behind such acts because there is nothing to understand. We can only stand strong against that kind of hatred and lack of humanity...

 

 

Lexa walked back into the hotel, wearing a bright smile. She hadn't had much time to think about what had happened because of the interview but now that she was alone, the events were catching up to her and her smile was growing by the second.

She had met Clarke. She had met her and the girl was even more amazing than she thought. Lexa didn't know what to do with all the feelings coursing through her body. She had never experienced this. Never in her life had she been so captivated by one person. Hopefully, she hadn't completely made a fool of herself.

The brunette dropped on the bed and let out a content sigh. Flashes of blonde hair, blue eyes and a smile that could end all wars erupted in her mind. **_You have it bad,_ ** she thought to herself.

She pulled out her phone and saw she had a message from Clarke. It had been sent hours ago.

 **Clarke :) - 2.55pm:** _You will never guess what happened._

 **Alexandria ☆ - 9.23pm:** _no but you will tell me ;)_

Of course she knew what happened. She was there.

 **Clarke :) - 9.25pm:** _Lexa Woods walked into the place I work at_

 **Alexandria ☆ - 9.25pm:** _She did? And what did you do?_

 **Clarke :) - 9.26pm:** _what I do best : I made a fool of myself._

 **Alexandria ☆ - 9.26pm:** _I'm sure you're exaggerating_

 **Clarke :) - 9.27pm:** _First, the coffee maker splashed coffee on my shirt and as if that wasn't enough, paparazzi came out of nowhere_

Lexa cringed at that. She still felt responsible for attracting all those people there.

 **Clarke :) - 9.27pm:** _And then she just laughed and wiped the floor...like, she grabbed a towel and started cleaning the floor and I just stood there like the idiot I am_

 **Alexandria ☆ - 9.28pm:** _You're not an idiot, Clarke_

 **Clarke :) - 9.28pm:** _that's sweet of you to say that. Anyway, then she gave me her shirt because mine was soaked. HER SHIRT_

Lexa laughed upon reading the messages.

 **Clarke :) - 9.29pm:** _and she smells so good, omg you have no idea. Her shirt still smells like her_

Lexa smiled, flattered, "I kind of have an idea, actually" she muttered to herself.

 **Alexandria ☆ - 9.29pm:** _Wait. You still have her shirt? You just stole it?_

 **Clarke :) - 9.30pm:** _ofc not. Who do you think I am? That goddess just told me to keep it and left_

 **Alexandria ☆ - 9.30pm:** _sounds like you've had quite an eventful day_

 **Clarke :) - 9.31pm:** _it was great. She was...different from other actors. More down to earth and just...a normal person, y'know_

 **Clarke :) - 9.31pm:** _I liked that. Because as much as I made a fool out of myself, she didn't laugh. She helped me and I don't know how to feel about that_

 **Alexandria ☆ - 9.31pm:** _you could just feel thankful?_

Lexa was smiling softly but she couldn't help the small voice inside her head, scolding herself for lying to Clarke.

 **Clarke :) - 9.32pm:** _I just felt something when she looked at me. Maybe I'm just imagining things but her eyes were just so captivating and it felt like she was looking right through me_

Lexa didn't know what to reply to that. So she wasn't the only one who had felt that when their eyes made contact. Good.

 **Alexandria ☆ - 9.33pm:** _maybe you have that effect on people_

 **Clarke :) - 9.33pm:** _charmer ;) btw, when are you landing in New York?_

Lexa's thumbs hovered over the keyboard. If she lied, it would give her more time to think of a way to tell the truth to Clarke.

She felt bad for lying but it was necessary.

 **Alexandria ☆ - 9.34pm:** _tomorrow_

 **Clarke :) - 9.34pm:** _great! If you ever need someone to give you a tour, you have my number ;)_

 **Alexandria ☆ - 9.35pm:** _I might take you up on that offer ;)_

Lexa sighed. The issue remained that, what would Clarke do when she found out that Alexandria and Lexa were one and the same? That the actress she had met today was the Alexandria she has been talking to all along.

Lexa was torn between telling Clarke or keeping things as they are and tell the truth when the time is right. She knew the risks of the second option. Clarke could get upset that she didn't tell her sooner and decide to put an end to their friendship. Fear settled into the pits of her stomach at the thought.

 _ **I'm going to tell her,** _ she repeated to herself as she brushed her teeth, ** _I'm going to tell her tomorrow,_** she told herself as she fell asleep.

 

 

\---------------

 

 

Clarke looked up, eyes wide, when she saw Lexa enter the coffee shop, "You didn't lie" she stupidly said, "You're really here"

Lexa laughed, "I said I would come back, didn't I?" she said with a bright smile.

"Yeah but I thought you were just being polite, y'know. Like employers when they tell you they'll look into your resume but end up throwing it in the trashcan without even reading it and you just..." she stopped her rambling, "You don't care about that, I'm sorry" she shook her head.

"Actually, I can relate to that" Lexa said, "Casting directors always tell you they'll call you back but it almost never happens"

Clarke smiled, "Well, I'm sure that's not the case anymore since you're very famous..." she motioned at the actress.

"You'd be surprised" Lexa said before looking up at the menu, humming in thought, "Can I get a black coffee?"

Clarke looked at her for a few seconds and she looked like she wanted to say something.

"Go on, say whatever you want to say" Lexa encouraged her.

Clarke hesitated before pointing up at the menu, "Did you seriously just look up at the menu, pretending to think it over, and then ordered the most basic coffee there is?"

Lexa grinned, "Do not shame my taste in coffee" she said, "Or I'll shame your taste in..." she looked the girl up and down but couldn't find a single thing to say, "in aprons" she weakly said.

Clarke laughed, "I agree with you" she looked down at her apron, "These are awful"

"You said it, not me" Lexa said and it drew a laugh from Clarke.

"I'm gonna get you your coffee" Clarke said.

"Should I grab a towel, just in case?" Lexa joked.

Clarke blushed, "It was a one time thing" she mumbled, "I swear I know how to do my job"

"I believe you" Lexa said, smirking.

"You don't sound like it" Clarke looked over her shoulder as she worked the coffee maker, "Here you go" she handed the cup to the actress once it was done.

Lexa started heading towards a table but turned before she reached it, "Would you join me?" she asked.

"Oh..um, I can't" Clarke said, despite how much she wanted to, "My colleague isn't here yet and I need to be here if new customers come in..."

Just as her sentence ended, the ding of the door was heard and Niylah entered the shop, "Hey!" she smiled, "How is it goi- holy shit" she stopped speaking when her eyes landed on Lexa.

"Hi" Lexa waved awkwardly.

"H-hello" Niylah stuttered out, "Whoa..." she said and looked at the actress with wide eyes until Clarke walked around the counter, grabbed her shoulders and shoved her towards the back.

"Get ready for work and please stop gawking at her. We need to treat her like a regular client" she told the girl in a hushed tone before walking back towards Lexa, "Sorry about that"

Lexa brushed it off, "It's okay" she said, "Well, now that your colleague is here, you can join me" she smiled widely.

Clarke looked behind her and hesitated.

"Come on, Clarke" Lexa pleaded, "Work is slow" she pointed at the very few people in the shop.

"How do you know my name?" Clarke asked, frowning. Lexa started panicking but then Clarke smiled and shook her head, "The name tag, of course" she pointed at the small pin on her apron.

"Yeah" Lexa laughed nervously, rubbing the back of her neck, "So..." she trailed off, gesturing at the table.

Clarke told Niylah she would take a small break and if the other girl's nod of agreement seemed forced, she didn't notice it.

Lexa smiled when she saw Clarke take off her apron, and she pulled out a chair for the blonde to sit.

"Thank you" Clarke said as she sat down.

Lexa blew on her coffee and raised her eyes to meet Clarke's, "I'm impressed" she simply said.

Clarke frowned, "Impressed?" she repeated, confused. Was Lexa talking about the paintings on the wall? Did she somehow figure out she had painted them?

"I've been here for five minutes and there are no stains on your shirt yet" she teased.

"You're never going to let me live that down, are you?" the blonde asked.

Lexa leaned closer, eyes never leaving Clarke's face, "Never" she whispered with a smile.

Clarke gulped. She looked to be composed but her heart was hammering into her chest, beating faster than ever at the closeness she shared with the actress. It was beating so loudly that she feared the woman in front of her could hear it.

"What do you like to do when you're not spilling coffee over your shirts?" Lexa asked, taking a sip of her coffee.

Clarke rolled her eyes, "You should add smartass on your resume" she said with a small laugh, "To answer your question, I like hanging out with my friends and painting. I'm a pretty boring person" she looked down.

Lexa slightly shook her head and her eyes pierced through Clarke as she spoke, "I'm sure that's not true, Clarke"

Clarke raised her gaze and her brain momentarily stopped working as she found herself unable to look away. The actress' eyes were probably the most beautiful eyes she had ever seen. They were a deep shade of green with specks of gold, a color which she could only dream to be able to recreate on a canvas. The pictures you could find on the internet did not do that woman justice because Lexa Woods was so much more beautiful in person. Never in her life had Clarke seen such a stunning person.

Lexa it seemed, was just as lost in ocean blue eyes. One look into them had rendered her speechless and she felt as though even forever wouldn't be enough time to properly admire the girl in front of her.

The loud clearing of a throat snapped them out of the trance they had found themselves in and Lexa straightened her back and folded her hands in her lap. She tilted her head to the side to determine the origin of the sound and her eyes fell on Clarke's colleague.

"Sorry to disturb you" Niylah said but her apology didn't sound sincere at all, "Clarke, I need you back there"

Clarke frowned and looked around, "But...there aren't any new customers" she pointed out. She had no desire to leave the actress' side so quickly.

"We need to do the inventory" Niylah said

Clarke's confusion grew. She had done that yesterday already. She settled on not asking any further questions since Niylah was the daughter of the man who owned the place. She slowly got up, "Sorry, Lexa" she smiled apologetically.

"No worries" the actress smiled back, "I understand that this is your place of work and I should let you work in peace. Sorry for the bother"

"Oh no, you weren't a bother" Clarke dropped her hand on Lexa's, "I enjoyed talking to you"

The brunette felt tingles where Clarke's skin met hers. The blonde's hand was warm and soft over her own.

"Clarke, now" Niylah called from behind the counter.

Clarke slowly slipped her hand along the back of Lexa's before retracting it completely. Lexa felt a stab of disappointment at the loss of contact and she wanted to take Clarke's hand in hers once more.

She watched as the blonde made her way to the backroom, trying to get one last look at her before she disappeared behind the closed door.

She sighed and looked down at her coffee in thought. If she thought meeting with Clarke could help make her feelings disappear, she was so wrong.

It seemed that it had the opposite effect. She couldn't get the girl out of her mind, no matter how hard she tried. Each contact made her skin burn with the need for more.

She couldn't get enough of her.

She felt eyes digging into her skull and turned around abruptly. Clarke's colleague was staring at her with an expression that Lexa couldn't read.

It all became clear when Clarke walked back out of the backroom and Niylah's eyes softened and became filled with longing and adoration. She knew what that look meant because she was sure that she was looking at Clarke the exact same way.

She didn't like the way her stomach dropped at the realization. An unpleasant feeling started growing inside which she quickly identified as jealousy.

She had never been jealous. Not when it came to romantic feelings anyway. The feeling felt unfamiliar and she already decided that she hated it.

It was stupid of her to think a beautiful woman like Clarke wasn't the object of others' affections. **_Maybe she already has someone,_ ** Lexa told herself bitterly.

She tried to swallow down the disappointment she felt and forced a smile on her face when the blonde grinned at her as she walked past her.

"I'm gonna have to go" Lexa said the next time Clarke walked by.

The blonde faltered in her steps, "Oh...right" she was unable to keep the disappointment out of her voice and she knew Lexa heard it.

"I'm staying in New York for the rest of the week" Lexa said, "I'll stop by again" she smiled.

Clarke's eyes were soft and her lips pulled into a smile, "You don't have to feel obligated" she said.

"I don't feel obligated" Lexa said, "I enjoy coming here" she didn't avert her eyes from the blonde standing in front of her.

Clarke nodded, "I'm sorry I couldn't stay with you longer. I had to..." she trailed off, gesturing at Niylah who was watching them like a hawk.

"Maybe you can make up for it by having lunch with me?" Lexa said in a rush of confidence. She held Clarke's gaze and ignored the daggers Niylah was throwing at her with her eyes.

"Y-you want to have lunch...with me?" Clarke said incredulously.

Lexa couldn't understand how such a beautiful woman could act so surprised when someone hit on her. Surely it must happen a lot.

"Is it that hard to believe?" she raised an eyebrow, "I figured you'd be used to people asking you out"

"You're...asking me out?" Clarke looked to be even more in disbelief.

The nerves could be heard through Lexa's laughter. After all, she had no idea whether or not Clarke's response would be a positive one. She really hoped it would be.

"Are you just going to repeat my every sentence?" she rubbed the back of her neck, the lack of a response from the blonde causing her nerves to grow.

"W...why?" Clarke blurted out.

Lexa chuckled and took a deep breath, "Because I happen to think you are very beautiful and funny and I don't want to leave New York with regrets" she earnestly said.

Clarke stared at her, mouth open in shock, "Wow" she breathed out.

Lexa winced, "Is this a good or a bad _wow?"_ she asked, fearing the answer.

Clarke picked up on how nervous the actress looked and opened her mouth to finally answer but as she did so, a customer entered the shop.

Her head flew to the side and by the time she looked at Lexa again, the woman had dropped a twenty dollar bill on the table and was getting up, heading towards the exit.

"I'm sorry for making you uncomfortable" Lexa apologized, eyes downcast, "I didn't mean to. I just..." she shook her head, "Nevermind" she pushed the door open and left.

She tried to swallow down the lump in her throat to no avail. She felt so stupid for even thinking someone like Clarke would be interested in her. Clarke was beautiful, funny and brilliant. Lexa was just...Lexa.

Some may argue that she was the most desirable woman on this planet but none of that mattered if she couldn't be with the one woman she really wanted.

Clarke's entire body was still for a couple seconds until she sprung to life, grabbing the door handle and following after the actress, ignoring Niylah's calls for her to come back.

"Lexa, wait!" she called after the actress.

Lexa halted her steps but did not turn around. Clarke closed the distance, placing a hand on her shoulder, a silent request for the brunette to turn around. When she did so, Clarke started speaking.

"I wasn't uncomfortable. I was just...taken aback" she confessed, "I didn't even know you were interested in women" she laughed a bit but stopped when she saw the sad look on Lexa's face.

"Almost no one knows" Lexa shrugged.

Clarke nodded, "I won't tell anyone, if you're worried about that" she reassured Lexa who nodded in thanks, "And I would love to have lunch with you but as friends...I'm not ready for a relationship" she admitted, "Not yet"

Lexa nodded. The added _not yet_ gave her hope that someday, it might turn into a yes, "I understand" she quietly said.

"It's just that...my last relationship ended badly and I feel like I need to focus on myself for a little. I want to be 100% sure that this is what I want before jumping into another relationship" she tried to explain.

"Then I shall wait until you are ready" Lexa replied with a small smile.

Clarke's heart was jumping into her chest at this confession, "Can I have your phone number?" she blurted out.

Lexa's eyes slightly widened and she tried to think of an excuse, fast. She couldn't give Clarke her number because then, the girl would connect the dots and realize who she was. She wanted to be the one to tell Clarke.

"I have to ask my manager if I can give it to you" she cringed internally at the lie. She hated lying to Clarke.

Clarke nodded, "Of course" she said, "That makes sense"

"I'll stop by the coffee shop tomorrow before lunch" Lexa promised, "I would have spoken to my manager by then" she smiled ever so slightly.

Clarke smiled, "I'm sorry I couldn't give you the answer you hoped for" she said and she truly looked remorseful.

Lexa placed a hand on her forearm, "Don't be" she smiled, "You had your reasons and even if it was because you didn't want to go on a date with me, I would understand" she let her hand drop back at her side.

The blonde rolled her eyes, "As if anyone wouldn't want to go out with Lexa Woods" she said.

Lexa smiled sadly, "Sometimes I wish people would treat me like a normal person, y'know. Not like Lexa Woods, the actress" she opened up.

"Oh...I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that" Clarke hurried to say, "I didn't mean to make you feel like that's all you are"

"Clarke, it's okay" Lexa played with a loose string of her jeans, "You...you didn't know" she shrugged, "And you apologize way too much"

Clarke laughed a bit and they just stared at each other for a few seconds before breaking eye contact when they were interrupted by a group of fans.

Lexa happily signed a few autographs and took a couple selfies with them. Clarke looked at her fondly while she did so.

"I have to go back to work" Clarke said and she clearly didn't want to if the tone of her voice was anything to go by.

Lexa nodded, "Of course" she smiled, "I won't hold you off any longer"

Clarke threw one last look at her before running back inside the building. Lexa watched her and sighed. She had to tell her the truth and she had to do it before tomorrow.

 

 

\-------------

 

 

This was risky. Lexa knew that but she also knew she had to. Lying to Clarke was eating up at her.

A few hours prior to this, she had had a conversation with Anya, recounting the events of the past couple days to her sister. Anya had told her to do what she felt was right which is why she was standing outside Clarke's apartment door at eight in the evening.

She checked the address once more with a screenshot from the time Clarke had given it to her so she could send the autographs.

She stayed behind the closed door for a long time, trying to gather the courage to just raise her fist and knock. Once that was done, there was no turning back and she was fully aware of that.

Her body was rigid. She wanted nothing more than to flee. With each passing second, her resolve crumbled a little more.

Without giving herself time to rethink her actions, she knocked on the wooden door and instantly her eyes widened and her first instinct was to run but she willed herself to remain rooted on her spot.

The door opened and there was Clarke, beautiful as ever. The blonde was wearing a plain white shirt and grey sleeping shorts that left most of her legs exposed.

"Lexa?" Clarke frowned, "What...how did you find my address?" she seemed very confused and Lexa could understand why.

"Um..." Lexa cleared her throat, "Can I come in?" she gently asked, not responding to the question she had been asked.  
  
Clarke stepped aside and gestured for her to enter but the frown didn't leave her features. She shut the door and guided the actress to the couch before taking a seat on it.

"Wine?" Clarke offered.

Lexa shook her head, "No, thank you" she declined, "I don't drink" she explained. She had stopped when she had started getting over her depression. It had been a few months since she had last drank.

Clarke nodded and simply poured herself a drink, "So...I don't mean to be rude but why are you here?"

Lexa inhaled deeply before releasing the air slowly, "I have something I need to tell you" she started, "It's been eating up at me and I really, really need to let it out because I don't want to keep lying to you"

Clarke was confused, "What do you mean, Lexa? How are you lying to me?" she tried to remember something the actress might have lied about but their conversations hadn't exactly covered personal topics.

Lexa's eyes connected with hers and the pure emotion and intensity she could read in emerald eyes took her aback.

"My real name isn't Lexa" the brunette started and Clarke was about to ask why that was relevant when Lexa raised her hand to indicate she wasn't finished, "My real name is Alexandria Anastasia Woods. I was born in Australia and came to the United States when I was eighteen to make my dream come true"

"You have the same name as a girl I met on twitter" Clarke said with a small smile.

"No, Clarke...that's what I'm trying to say..." she swallowed heavily, "That girl on twitter...that's..." she trailed off.

Clarke's face changed as she connected the dots, "That's you..." she finished for her and Lexa could only nod in answer. Clarke frowned, "But you...and she..." her brain worked fast as she pieced it all together, "It was you all along"

Lexa nodded and looked down at her hands, folded into her lap, "I'm sorry for not telling you sooner. I should have and I swear I wanted to every time I talked to you but..."

"But?" Clarke said.

"It wasn't that simple" she sighed.

"So that's why you were always so secretive about your job" Clarke said.

A nod.

"And you weren't at Comic Con as a journalist...You were there as an actress" she continued, finally raising her gaze to meet green ones.

Another nod.

"I've been talking to Lexa Woods the whole time and I didn't even know it" Clarke said in disbelief.

"Look, Clarke" Lexa grabbed her hand, "I'm so sorry for not telling you" she apologized again, "And I would understand if you were mad at me because of it"

It was excruciatingly quiet after that. The faint sound of cars in the distance filled the deafening silence.

Lexa retracted her hand, "Please, say something" she vulnerably said.

She had absolutely no control over the situation and the future of her friendship with Clarke and that scared her to no end. Her knee bounced nervously as the silence stretched itself, seconds feeling like hours.

Finally blue eyes met her own.

"I'm not mad" Clarke said and Lexa released a breath she didn't know she was holding, "I just...I need time to process this, I'm sorry"

Lexa nodded, "I understand" she softly said, getting up, "I'm really sorry I wasn't honest with you" she apologized for the umpteenth time.

The door to the apartment flew open and Raven loudly stepped into the apartment, "Honey, I'm home!" she shouted and stopped when she saw who was standing in the middle of the living room, "Why is Lexa Woods in our living room?" she asked, frozen on the spot.

"I was leaving" Lexa said before walking past Raven and into the hallway.

"I'll walk you downstairs" Clarke said before following her out.

Raven just stood there in pure confusion, "So no one is going to explain to me what's going on?" she huffed and dropped on the couch when she got no reply.

The ride in the elevator was spent in a tense silence. They stole glances at each other when they thought the other wasn't looking but truth was, Lexa couldn't tear her eyes away from Clarke.

The brunette opened the glass door of the building and looked at Clarke, "I'm sorry again" she quietly said, "Goodnight, Clarke"

She did not wait for an answer. She walked out into the rain, letting go of the door and it closed with a small click behind her. She shoved her hands in her coat pockets and started walking down the street, towards her car.

She didn't register the footsteps behind her until she heard her voice, that voice that she loved so much.

"Lexa!"

She turned around and opened her mouth to say something when Clarke's body pressed against her own and the blonde hugged her tightly. She froze for a second before raising her arms to circle the blonde's waist, melting into the warm and comforting embrace.

Drops of rain fell onto their heads as they held each other tightly, as if the other would disappear the second they let go.

Lexa dropped her head on Clarke's shoulder and blond hair came tickling her cheek as her senses were hit by the blonde's scent, a perfect mix between vanilla and the smell of the falling rain.

They had long since exceeded the time of what would be considered a friendly hug and Lexa didn't think she had ever felt so content from just being in someone's arms.

Eventually, Clarke was the first to pull away and Lexa instantly missed the contact. Her eyes scanned Clarke's face as the rain intensified.

Clarke was the one to break the silence, "I just know that that's the first thing I would have done when I met Alexandria. When I met you" she smiled softly.

Lexa smiled while the rain fell heavily onto them, damping their hair and clothes, "I've wanted to hug you for so long" she confessed.

Clarke raised a hand and brushed a wet strand of hair away from Lexa's forehead, "Goodnight, Lexa" she whispered before retracting her hand and heading back inside her apartment building.

Lexa stood there under the pouring rain, watching her go as she grinned from ear to ear. She could still smell the faint vanilla scent Clarke left on her clothes and she smiled.

She climbed into her car and felt lighter than she had in a long time. The smile didn't leave her face the whole drive back home.

 

  
\--------------

 

  
Raven raised a hand, "Wait, wait" she stopped Clarke, "So you're telling me Lexa Woods is the girl you've been talking to all along AND she asked you out!?" she exclaimed and Clarke nodded, "Griffin, this is surreal" Raven said with wide, excited eyes, "Tell me you said yes"

Clarke sighed, "I told her not yet" she revealed and Raven gasped.

"What the fuck, Clarke" she said.

The blonde rolled her eyes, "I don’t think I'm ready for another relationship, Rae" she said, "I don't want to rush into something after what happened with Finn"

"But...this is Lexa Woods" Raven said, pouting and then her eyes widened, "Holy shit, Lexa's gay!" she exclaimed, "I fucking knew it!"

Clarke sighed, "I tell you that Alexandria is Lexa Woods and that's all you retain from my story?"

"Duh" Raven rolled her eyes, "It means I got a chance with her" she smirked.

Clarke shook her head, "No, you don't" she said, "Back off"

Raven laughed, "So you _are_ interested in her" she said, "I won't steal her away from you, I swear"

"That's not..." Clarke started but stopped when she realized that was exactly what she meant. She wasn't ready to jump into a relationship with Lexa but she selfishly didn't want anyone else to do so.

"I can't believe you managed to get Lexa freaking Woods to ask you out" Raven said, "Your true beauty is finally being recognized. I'm so proud" she wiped at a fake tear and Clarke shoved her backwards.

"At least now you know you don't have to pay to meet her anymore" Clarke reasoned.

Raven smiled, "True" she said, "You better not fuck this up, Griffin, because I want to be able to say I'm friends with Lexa Woods"

Clarke rolled her eyes, "Alright, Raven" she said with a small laugh, "I'm heading to sleep"  
  
"It's not even nine o'clock" Raven pointed out with a raised eyebrow.

Clarke raised an eyebrow, "What's your point?"

"Okay, grandma" Raven said and laughed when she received the middle finger in answer.

 

  
\-------------

 

  
**Clarke :) - 12.21pm:** _Can we talk?_

Lexa didn't know how to feel about that message. It could be a good or a bad thing that Clarke wanted to talk. At least, the girl wasn't ignoring her.

 **Lexa - 12.22pm:** _Sure. When?_

 **Clarke :) - 12.23pm:** _Now? I'm free until 4pm_

 **Lexa - 12.23pm:** _You want me to come over or...?_

 **Clarke :) - 12.24pm:** _my roommate is working. You can come over. Unless you'd feel more comfortable elsewhere_

Lexa smiled at her thoughtfulness.

 **Lexa - 12.24pm:** _it's perfect. I'm on my way, be there in ten minutes_

She brushed her teeth, grabbed her purse and left the hotel to climb into her car and drive to Clarke's apartment.

Her hands tapped the steering wheel as her nerves grew. She didn't know what to expect from this meeting and the uncertainty of it scared her.

Clarke opened the door with a bright smile. **_That's a good sign,_** Lexa thought to herself, "Please come in" Clarke said, opening the door a bit wider to let her pass.

"I didn't really get to tell you yesterday but you have a beautiful apartment" Lexa complimented, scanning the place.

"Thank you" Clarke smiled, "Coffee?"

Lexa laughed, "I think I've had my share of coffee in the past few days but thank you" she smiled.

Clarke nodded and they sat on the couch, much like they had done yesterday evening. The blonde turned towards Lexa.

"First of all, I need you to relax because you look very tense and it's stressing me out" she chuckled and Lexa's shoulders relaxed, "I just want to understand what are the reasons that pushed you to keep your identity a secret and why you decided to tell me now" she explained.

Lexa nodded, "You probably know how hard it is to keep our personal life private when we're in the eye of the public" she received a nod, "I was in a bad place before I started talking to you...I suffered from depression and I was drunk more often than not and my sister is the one who had to deal with that"

"Your sister?"

"Anya" Lexa said with a smile, "She's also my manager. She was patient with me throughout it all"

"So that's why you don't drink?” the question was answered with a nod, “But how come no one noticed anything? I mean, you always look so...happy around fans"

Lexa shrugged, "They make me happy" she said, "And I got used to masking my emotions"

Clarke placed a hand on her knee and started rubbing circles on the fabric of her jeans. Lexa smiled in thanks.

"Anya suggested that I create a second twitter account where I could just be me" she resumed speaking, "I just needed to be able to step out of my celebrity status for a bit"

Clarke nodded. She could very well imagine how stressful and demanding it was to be a famous artist in this country. No wonder most artists turned out badly.

"That's where I met you" Lexa smiled, "I honestly didn't expect anything from it at first. I was just replying to some girl who needed to rant about her shitty ex-boyfriend, no offense"

"None taken" Clarke said.

"But then it got too real and soon we were talking about meeting up and it was becoming hard for me to keep lying to you. I didn't want to lie to you"

Clarke's eyebrows furrowed in thought, "Hence why you seemed so hesitant at the idea to meet" she reasoned.

Lexa nodded.

"I wanted to meet you but it was risky for me because you already knew more than even my biggest fans do"

"But you still gave me your phone number..." Clarke said, "Why?"

Lexa fumbled with her sleeves, "Because I trusted you" she revealed, "I still do"

"You're not out to the world" Clarke said and it was a fact, not a question.

"I'm not" Lexa sighed, "I should be" she looked away in shame, "I'm just too much of a coward to come out" she muttered, angry at herself.

Clarke placed a hand on the small of her back, "You're not a coward" she softly said, "It takes as long as it takes and if you're not ready yet, then so be it" she declared, "You don't owe anyone anything. There isn't a set time to come out. It's all about whether or not you feel ready to"

Lexa nodded, "I need you to know that I didn't lie to you when it comes to the things I told you about myself"

"You mean you really are obsessed with squids? Man, I really hoped that one was a lie" Clarke teased and it served to dissipate the remaining tension in the room, lifting up the mood a little.

Lexa laughed, "Yeah, that was true. Unfortunately for you, you'll have to put up with it if you want to be my friend...which you probably don't want to be" she said dejectedly.

Clarke tilted her head up with two fingers, "I do want to be your friend" she said, her eyes never leaving Lexa's, "I might not have known your true identity back then but I became friends with you for who you are as a person. Your stupid jokes and weird obsessions" she smiled.

Lexa's lips curled upwards and mumbled something inaudibly.

"What was that?" Clarke asked.

"My jokes aren't stupid" she repeated.

"They are" Clarke said, "They really are. Tell me one joke that isn't stupid" she challenged.

"Why don't they play poker in the jungle?" Lexa started and Clarke raised an eyebrow in question, "Too many cheetahs (cheaters)" she grinned proudly.

Clarke groaned but a small chuckle escaped her lips nonetheless, "That was one of the worst jokes I have ever heard. You're definitely the girl I've been talking to"

Lexa joined in on the laughter. She had to admit her jokes were pretty horrible but Clarke had laughed a little, "You still laughed" she pointed out.

"Because you looked so damn proud of yourself!" Clarke said, still laughing.

Lexa simply grinned in reply.

"You have a beautiful smile" Clarke blurted out and blushed when she realized she had spoken the words out loud.

A faint pink appeared on Lexa's cheeks and she looked down at her hands when she spoke, "Thank you" she quietly said.

"Are you not used to receiving compliments?" Clarke asked, surprised by the sudden shyness of the actress.

Lexa shrugged, "Sincere ones? Not really" she said, "Except when it comes to fans, people don't usually compliment artists on their performance or anything like that because it is what is expected of us"

Clarke frowned, "You mean, the producers never congratulate you on a well executed scene?" she asked.

Lexa shrugged, "Depends...most of the time, you just get a thumbs up and a quick _good job_ and then we move on to the next scene. It's pretty hectic" she said, "And then, of course, there are the journalists who throw compliments at you in the sole hope that it will make you more likely to reveal interesting facts about yourself or your castmates"

"This is...wow" Clarke found herself at loss for words, "Doesn't it get a bit too much sometimes to be treated like...like a product more than a human being?" Clarke cringed at her choice of words, "Sorry, that was offensive"

Lexa looked up at her and shook her head, "It's okay. You weren't lying" she smiled a bit, "It is my job to entertain people through my acting. The invasive questions about my personal life are a disadvantage for sure but every job has its downsides" she put things into perspective.

"Still..." Clarke said, "It shouldn't be like this. I mean, you're a human being like the rest of us and you should be treated as such" she spoke her thoughts aloud, "I just don't understand why actors can't be asked questions about their jobs solely"

Lexa smiled at the way the woman spoke so convincingly in front of her, making large hand gestures to support her claims.

"Private life should remain private" Clarke said, "That's why it's called a private life, for fuck's sake" she threw her arms in the air.

Lexa let out a small laugh and Clarke frowned.

"Are you making fun of me?"

Lexa shook her head, "I just find it cute how passionate you are about this whole thing" she smiled, "I don't think I have ever gotten into a rant like that about it and I am the one being asked those questions on a daily basis" she chuckled.

Clarke's cheeks turned crimson red and she looked away, "Sorry" she quietly said, "I didn't mean to get so passionate about this"

Lexa's eyes widened when she took in the dejected look on Clarke's face, "Oh no, I wasn't saying it's a bad thing" she hurried to say, "It's actually sweet of you to care about those kind of things" she instinctively grabbed Clarke's hand in hers and absentmindedly brushed her thumb on the back of it.

Clarke silently looked down at their joined hands.

Lexa followed her eyes, then blushed. She retracted her hand, "Sorry" she whispered.

Clarke wanted to take Lexa's hand back in hers, missing the contact, but she refrained from doing it because she had just told the actress she wasn't ready for a relationship and she didn't want to send mixed signals to her.

The door opened and Raven walked in and stopped in her tracks when she saw Lexa on the couch. She slowly closed the door behind her, her eyes never leaving the two other girls.

She took a cautious step forward and raised her finger to point at Lexa, "Is it always going to be like this?" she asked, "Me coming home to the most beautiful and talented actress in the world sitting on our couch?" she clarified, "Because I am not complaining at all"

"Hello, Raven" Lexa greeted, blushing due to the praise she got from the girl.

"Holy shit, she said my name again" she smiled brightly, "I'm in love with you" Raven suddenly said, dropping on her knees in front of her and grabbing her hand, "Will you marry me?"

Lexa's eyes widened and she looked at Clarke, silently asking what she was supposed to say or do.

Clarke rolled her eyes, "Ignore her. She's always like this" she slapped Raven's hand, "Let go of Lexa's hand, Rae"

Raven held her hand in her other one, "Rude" she mumbled, "Just because you have the hots for her and you are jealous, it doesn't mean that you should hit me"

Clarke turned red and stuttered incoherent words before hiding her face in her hands, unable to look at the actress sitting next to her, "I hate my life" she mumbled against her hands.

She felt a hand on the small of her back and peeked through her fingers to see Lexa smiling sympathetically at her.

Raven giggled, "Lexa totally has the hots for you too" the girl exclaimed, "Damn it, I knew I should have proposed sooner" she stood up and went into the kitchen to get a beer, "Anyone wants something to drink?"

Lexa squeaked out an embarrassingly high pitched _No, thank you_ and avoided any eye contact with Clarke as she wondered where her game had gone. She had been turned into a stuttering, blushing mess in the span of two minutes. **_What a loser,_** she thought to herself.

"Since I see I was interrupting" Raven wiggled her eyebrows, "I'm going to retreat to my room and you can continue whatever lesbian activities you had going on there" she winked, "By the way, Lexa, I demand a selfie with you" she said, "There are a few people I need to make jealous"

Lexa merely nodded and watched as Raven opened a door at the end of the hallway and disappeared inside a room.

"So that was Raven again" Clarke hid her face behind her hands, "I expected her to freak out a lot more if I'm being honest"

"She's...special" Lexa said, unsure of which word to use to describe the sarcastic brunette.

Clarke laughed, "Understatement of the year" she said, "Raven is fucking weird. You can say it, it's not a bad word"

Lexa smiled, "So..." she trailed off, "Wanna resume our lesbian activities?" she smirked and wiggled her eyebrows.

Clarke burst out in laughter, "Not you too" she grinned widely when her laughter died down.

Lexa smiled softly, then grew more serious, "I was scared of telling you, y'know" she confessed, "I thought you would get mad and I would lose the only friendship I've ever thought was worth fighting for"

The blonde was stunned into silence by this confession for a few seconds before she regained her senses, "I value our friendship too. I need you to know that I would have never put an end to it. I'm sorry if I ever made you feel that this was what I was planning to do"

"You didn't" Lexa shook her head, "I just have a tendency to imagine the worst case scenarios" she said, "It's something I need to stop doing"

"CLARKE!!" they both heard Raven shout, "THERE'S NO HOT WATER ANYMORE!"

Clarke sighed and got up, "Wait here a minute" she told Lexa before disappearing into a room.

Lexa was left alone and she didn't know what to do to busy herself. She started walking around and her eyes caught sight of multiple paintings, hanging on the wall.

She walked closer and brushed her fingers on one of them. It was a beautiful painting of a harbor, surrounded by colorful houses.

[the painting](http://saimg-a.akamaihd.net/saatchi/822524/art/3121453/2191344-DRWUXVOD-8.jpg) 

She searched for the name of the artist and found initials written down at the right corner of the canvas, "C.G" she said out loud. **_Could it be that-_**

"I painted this a year ago when I went to Amsterdam with my friends" Clarke interrupted her train of thought.

Lexa turned around, eyes filled with awe, "You painted these?" she motioned to the paintings adorning the walls.

Clarke nodded, "Except for this one" she gestured at one next to the kitchen, "My dad painted this one a couple years ago"

"These are beautiful, Clarke" Lexa said as she walked around the apartment, admiring each of them with utmost attention.

"Thank you" Clarke quietly said, shyly looking down. She would never get used to people complimenting her on her work. It still felt as surreal as the first time her dad praised her on one of her paintings.

"I know you told me you didn't feel ready to be an artist yet but you should really consider it" she told the blonde, "These are just so, so beautiful" she repeated in complete awe, "It's like I can just feel the emotions of the paintings, it's amazing" she brought a hand up to trace over a painting.

Lexa finally detached her eyes from the many paintings to look at a different masterpiece _; Clarke_.

She frowned when she saw tears in beautiful blue eyes, "What's wrong?" she stepped closer, brows furrowed in worry, "Was it something I said?" she asked with concern lacing her voice, "I'm sorry"

Clarke shook her head and lunged forward to hug her tightly, the blonde's tears wetting Lexa's shirt.

The brunette's mouth opened slightly and she reciprocated the hug as best she could. A hand moved to blond hair and she ran her fingers through it in what, she hoped, was a soothing manner.

"I'm sorry, Clarke" she repeated and once again Clarke shook her head. The blonde tightened her hold around her shoulders, "Please don't cry"

Clarke inhaled shakily and Lexa instinctively held her closer. Clarke's body fit perfectly with her own and had she not been worried about Clarke, Lexa would have let herself enjoy the feeling.

Instead, she pulled away and brought her thumb to brush away Clarke's tears, "What is it?" she softly asked.

The blonde took a few deep breaths before she looked down and quietly apologized. Her voice was barely above a whisper and her hands were slightly shaking still.

"I'm not used to people saying such things about my art and I got a little too emotional. You didn't do anything wrong" Clarke explained.

Lexa was confused, "You mean no one ever compliments you on your paintings?" she was dumbfounded.

"Not like you just did" Clarke shrugged, "Usually people just say that it looks great and then move on to another topic of discussion"

"What is wrong with people?" Lexa asked to no one in particular, "How could anyone not see the beauty in these?"

Clarke started playing with a loose string of her shirt, "Not everyone is interested in art. And it is pretty subjective"

Lexa turned to face her, "These are simply magnificent and I won't let anyone describe them as any less than that" she said.

Clarke raised her gaze and what she saw in green eyes was just pure honesty and admiration, "You're amazing" she whispered.

Lexa's mouth opened in shock, "You think I am amazing!?" she exclaimed, "Clarke, look at you and what you can do" she gestured at all the paintings around them, "You are just so inspiring. I am nothing in comparison"

Clarke hugged her again and this time, with the knowledge that Clarke wasn't upset, Lexa welcomed the embrace and let herself enjoy it, “Thank you” the blonde whispered.

They stayed like this, silently holding each other, for what felt like forever but was actually only a minute.

When Clarke pulled away she sniffled and looked at her watch, "I've kept you here for far too long...it's past lunch time now" she apologetically looked at the actress.

"It's never too late to have lunch" Lexa countered with a smile. She held Clarke's gaze a few moments longer before asking the question that had been burning her lips, "Would you do me the honor of your company for lunch?" she dramatically bowed before her.

Clarke giggled and Lexa smiled at the sound, "I'd love to" the blonde answered, beaming, "But first..." she trailed off, rummaging through a box, "You need to put this on" she pushed sunglasses on Lexa's nose, "And this" she handed her a hoodie, "To hide from paparazzi" she explained.

Lexa smiled and put the hoodie on. She then extended her arm and Clarke loosely wrapped her hand around it. They stayed like this the whole way down the elevator. When they stepped outside, Clarke's hand slid down and tentatively brushed against Lexa's.

The brunette decided to go for it, seeing as Clarke had made the first step. She grabbed Clarke's hand ever so gently and the blonde intertwined their fingers.

Lexa knew Clarke wasn't ready for a relationship just yet and she would respect that but for now, she found happiness in the simple act of holding the girl's hand.

They smiled shyly at each other, "Where to?" Lexa asked, bringing their joined hands to her lips to kiss the back of Clarke's hand.

A blush appeared on Clarke's cheeks, "I know just the place" she announced before tugging on Lexa's hand, guiding her, and Lexa would happily let herself be pulled through the streets of New York forever if it meant she got to hold Clarke's hand while doing so.

 

 

 


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a favorite of mine. I hope you'll like it as much as I do :)

 

They sat at a table in the back to avoid drawing attention on themselves. Lexa checked around to make sure no one had recognized her before taking off her sunglasses and pulling down the hood of the sweater Clarke gave her.

Clarke smiled, "Do you ever get tired of constantly being interrupted when you eat?" she curiously asked.

Lexa shrugged, "When it's paparazzi, yes, because they would do anything for that one picture that will bring them a lot of money" she explained, "But when it comes to fans, it doesn't bother me at all"

"Really?" Clarke asked, "But what if you just can't eat in peace?"

"My fans know their boundaries. They usually wait for me to have finished eating before approaching me"

Clarke hummed, "That's nice" she said, "Raven isn't like that" she chuckled, "She would most likely sit next to the celebrity and order something for herself"

Lexa laughed, "I can see her doing that" she said.

Clarke slid the menu over the table, "Here, pick something, it's on me" she announced.

Lexa would have none of that, "No way" she shook her head, "I'm paying for this"

Clarke sighed and her features hardened, "Look, it's not because I work in a coffee shop that I'm poor. I'm perfectly capable of paying for this"

Lexa's mouth opened and she placed a hand over Clarke's, "Clarke, I would never imply something like that..." she said, "I insist to pay because I'm the one who invited you to lunch, that's all"

Clarke blushed, "Oh" she said, realizing her mistake, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to accuse you of that" she hurried out, "I just thought-"

"That I was just another pretentious actress who thinks she's better than everybody else?" Lexa said, hurt lacing her voice, as she drew her hand back.

Clarke's hand shot up and she took hold of Lexa's again, "No, that's not what I meant" she said, eyes wide, "I don't think of you like that, I promise"

"Really? Because I wouldn't blame you if you did" Lexa earnestly said.

Clarke squeezed her hand, "I don't" she repeated, "Because, correct me if I'm wrong but I feel like I know the real you" she added, "The girl who loves to get into debates over trivial things, the girl whose Netflix history consists of documentaries only. Do you even watch your own show?"

Lexa laughed, "Sometimes" she smiled.

"And the girl who loves her sister and brother more than anything in this world and who would die before letting anything bad happen to them" Clarke said, smiling, "Was that an accurate analysis?"

Lexa nodded, "Very accurate" she said, "Although I would argue that the topics I go into a debate over are far from trivial"

Clarke raised an eyebrow, "You once argued with me over whether or not tomatoes are a fruit"

"They are!" Lexa exclaimed.

Clarke laughed, "See?" she gestured at the actress, "This is exactly what I'm talking about!"

Lexa smiled and brushed her thumb over the back of Clarke's hand which she was still holding.

A waiter cleared his throat beside them and they reluctantly disjoined their hands, "Have you decided what you wanted to eat?"

"Uh, not yet" Clarke said, "Just give us a couple more minutes" she said and he nodded before leaving.

They silently read over the menu and each picked something.

Clarke threw furtive glances at Lexa every now and then. She couldn't deny how beautiful the woman was. The fact the Lexa was attracted to her seemed surreal to her and the fact that the brunette was willing to wait for her to be ready felt even more unbelievable.

She almost felt like shit for making this wonderful woman wait for her. She didn't know exactly what was stopping her from agreeing to a date with Lexa. It was probably the fear of being deceived and disappointed again.

The scary thing was that, unlike with Finn, she knew that a betrayal from Lexa wouldn't be simply disappointing, it would be heartbreaking for her. She didn't want to put her heart on the line without knowing she would be safe from heartbreak.

They placed their orders and a comfortable silence settled between them for a couple minutes.

They simply stared at each other and Lexa was able to admire every single feature of Clarke; her bright blue eyes and her dimpled chin as well as her enticing lips and the cute beauty mark right above those same lips. Clarke was truly a work of art. Her beauty was like nothing Lexa had ever seen. Add to this her artistic talent, her great sense of humor and her intelligence, and Lexa was done for.

To Lexa, it was unconceivable for anyone to not be in complete awe of the girl sitting in front of her.

"Lexa?" Clarke waved a hand in front of her face and the brunette blinked a few times, taking in her surroundings.

She had been so lost in her thoughts that she hadn't noticed the waiter arriving with their drinks. She blushed a bit, "Sorry" she mumbled.

Clarke had felt self-conscious under the brunette's stare. Never in her life had anyone looked at her this way. She knew she was hot because she had been told that a lot and she had seen the way people looked at her during parties but never had she received such a look of pure admiration and she didn't know how to feel about the fluttering feeling in her stomach.

"So do you like it here?" she asked, taking a sip of her drink.

"I do but not necessarily because of the city" Lexa said, eyes focused on Clarke and the blonde choked on her drink.

Clarke was thrown into a coughing fit and Lexa quickly got up to stand beside her, "Oh my god, are you okay?" Lexa asked, patting her on the back.

Clarke raised a thumbs up before her eyes widened and she started coughing again. Lexa grabbed her glass, suddenly thankful she ordered water, and she handed it to Clarke.

"Here, drink this slowly" she instructed her.

The blonde took small sips of the water and her coughs subsided after a few moments, "Thank you" she said, coughing a couple more times, "Damn" she tapped on her chest a few times.

"Are you okay?" Lexa asked, worry etched onto her features.

Clarke nodded but blushed remembering the words that caused her to choke on her drink. She couldn't deny that Lexa had game.

"So...what were we saying? Before you choked, I mean" Lexa said with a small teasing smile.

Clarke laughed and shook her head, "I was, uhm, I was asking you about the city" she said, blushing when Lexa's words popped inside her mind once more.

"Ah, yes" Lexa said, "New York" she smiled, "It's a beautiful city. I really like it here" she hummed, "And the traffic is surprisingly not that bad"

Clarke laughed, "Yeah, you got lucky because it's usually way worse than that" she pointed at the street to support her words.

Lexa took a sip of what was left of her water, "I suppose I am lucky, yes" she stared intensely at Clarke and the blonde was sure she would have choked again, had she been drinking.

She cleared her throat and pointed at Lexa's drink, "I drank almost all of it. I can get you another one" she moved to grab the glass but Lexa's hand gently grabbed her wrist, setting her skin ablaze.

"It won't be necessary but thank you" she smiled, "It's sweet of you to offer"

Clarke shook her head, "No way" she sternly said, "You paid for it and I drank it so I'm going to buy you another one" the chair let out a small screeching sound as it slid back when Clarke got up.

"It's not like you purposely choked on your drink" Lexa pointed out.

"Still" Clarke answered, "I'm going to get you a new one and do not argue with me on this because you'll find I am very stubborn" she then walked up to the counter.

Lexa watched on, her lips curved into an adoring smile. She had it bad already. This wasn't good. Her eyes dropped to Clarke's backside for a millisecond before she mentally scolded herself and looked up at the ceiling, cheeks tinted in pink.

She heard a melodious laugh that undoubtedly belonged to Clarke and she looked down. Clarke was wearing an amused expression, eyes flicking between Lexa and the ceiling.

"What's so fascinating about the ceiling that you've been staring at it so intently?"  
  
Lexa blushed even harder and opened her mouth, then closed it. She racked her mind to find something to say, anything at all.

"The design is beautiful" she weakly delivered and mentally face-palmed at her utmost lack of success in the art of quickly coming up with excuses.

Clarke looked up at the ceiling which was just white with no specific decoration on it and she hummed, lips pulled into a smirk, "Truly beautiful" she watched, amused, as Lexa squirmed on her seat.

She dropped the water bottle next to Lexa's glass and smiled at the actress.

"Thank you" Lexa took it and poured some of the liquid into her nearly empty glass, "You didn't have to"

"I wanted to" Clarke quickly replied.

Lexa nodded and it was quiet after that, just the two of them staring at each other. Clarke was the first to look away, fleeing from Lexa's intense gaze.

"You have beautiful eyes" Lexa complimented, "So blue...so beautiful" she spoke her thoughts aloud, "Sorry" she quickly said when she realized she might have made Clarke feel uneasy.

"Thank you" Clarke responded with a blush and the hint of a smile, "Yours are beautiful too" she said, "But I'm sure you've been told that a million times already"

Lexa laughed a bit and took a sip of her water, "Actually, this is the first time" she revealed, "So, thank you"

Clarke frowned, "The first time?" she was surprised, "I don't believe you" she squinted her eyes at the actress.

"And yet, I am telling the truth" Lexa smiled, "People usually compliment me on my acting or on my hair"

"You do have nice hair" Clarke mumbled almost inaudibly.

"What did you say?"

"Nothing" Clarke hurried to say, taking a sip of her drink, "Oh, look! Our meals are arriving" she changed the topic.

Lexa's eyes remained fixed on the blonde for a few seconds, and then she nodded, accepting that Clarke didn't want to repeat what she had said.

 

 

\--------------

 

 

"You have a youtube channel?" Clarke asked, surprised, "How come Raven never mentioned that to me?" she wondered aloud, knowing how much her best friend loves to talk about all things that have a correlation to Lexa, directly or indirectly.

Lexa smiled, "Because it is an anonymous channel" she revealed, "I've always loved music but I loved acting more which is why I turned that into my profession. But I didn't want to give up music completely so I created a youtube channel where I sometimes upload songs that I wrote without ever showing my face. These songs are personal which is why I don't really want the public to know I'm the one writing and singing them"

"If it's supposed to be anonymous, why are you telling me all this? Aren't you afraid I'll go and tell everyone?"

Lexa's lips curled upwards, "No" she simply answered, "Because I trust you, Clarke" she explained, "And we're friends, right?" Lexa tried not to think too much about just how much she wanted to be more than just friends.

Clarke grinned widely, "We are" she said, "So...does that mean I can go and check out your youtube channel? I'm kinda curious to see what you sound like when you sing"

Lexa smiled, "I'm not that good" she modestly said, "But you can go listen to it if you really want to" she took out a pen and gently grabbed Clarke's arm to write on her wrist.

 _"thecommander"_ Clarke read out loud, "Where does that nickname come from anyway?" she asked.

Lexa smirked, "Play your cards right and I might tell you one day"

Clarke's jaw dropped slightly, "That's not fair!" she protested, "Now I want to know even more than before"

Lexa's smirk remained planted on her face and she wiped at her mouth with a napkin before throwing it into her empty plate. Her phone buzzed and she sighed when she saw the message.

 **Anya - 2.45pm:** _The car is waiting at the hotel. Need to leave in twenty minutes if we want to make it in time for the interview_

"What is it?"

Lexa looked at the blonde apologetically. She didn't want to leave Clarke but had no choice, "Duty calls" she waved her phone, "I'm really sorry but I have to cut this short"

Clarke shook her head, "Don't worry about it. Work always comes first, doesn't it?"

Lexa stared at her, "I kinda wish it didn't because then I could stay with you" she softly said, "I really liked having lunch with you, Clarke"

Clarke couldn't contain the bright smile that took over her face, "I really liked it too" she reciprocated the feeling, "Thank you for taking the time to do this"

"I will always make time for you" Lexa said, eyes filled with something akin to adoration.

Clarke's breath was sucked out of her lungs at the admission and she was left gaping, not knowing what to say.

"Did I overstep?" Lexa asked, worried she had made her feel uncomfortable.

Clarke shook her head, "It was...It was really sweet" she quietly said, "Could we...Could we do this again sometime?"

Lexa smiled, "Whenever you want" she said before turning around to leave.

A hand on her wrist stopped her and she looked confusedly at Clarke when the blonde reached for something in her bag.

Clarke slipped the sunglasses back on Lexa's nose and reached behind the actress to pull up the hood of her sweater, making sure it was covering most of Lexa's face, "Perfect" she said with a small smile.

Lexa's eyes drifted down to the blonde's lips. She wanted more than anything to kiss the girl in that moment but she also knew she couldn't. Clarke had told her she wasn't ready and Lexa would respect that. With that in mind, she raised her gaze and smiled, "Thank you" she said before turning back around to leave the building, throwing one last look over her shoulder at the girl who had quickly shaken her whole world, turning it upside down in the best way possible.

 

 

\--------------

 

 

"I can't believe Lexa freaking Woods has a crush on my best friend" Raven said out loud, "This is the best thing ever"

Clarke rolled her eyes, "She doesn't have a crush on me" she denied, blushing.

Raven smacked her behind the head, "Of course she does" she said, "Why else would she have asked you out, huh?"

Clarke stayed silent but a small smile pulled at her lips.

"Oh my god" Raven squealed, "You are so into her, I knew it!" she fist bumped the air, "Then again, who wouldn't be?"

"I'm not going to date her now" Clarke said.

Raven rolled her eyes, "Yeah, yeah, I know" she said, "You're not ready. We've talked about this already"

"Do you think I'm foolish for making her wait like this?" she asked, "I just feel like...like I should be ready, for some reason"

Raven scooted closer to her and placed an arm over her shoulders, "There isn't any obligation for you to feel ready now" she told the blonde, "If she truly wants this with you, she'll wait"

"Do you think she'll grow tired of waiting?"

"I sure hope the fuck not" Raven exclaimed, "I am so close to realizing my dream of being friends with Lexa Woods"

Clarke rolled her eyes, "You're unbelievable"

Raven grew serious, "No but seriously, _she_ would be foolish to pass up on the opportunity to date you. I mean, look at you, you're just amazing"

Clarke smiled and dropped her head on Raven's shoulder, "Thanks, Rae"

"Can you invite her here next time, though? I got some things I want to ask"

Clarke squinted her eyes, "Okay but you better not make her uncomfortable with weird questions" she raised a warning finger.

"Why would you assume I'm gonna make her uncomfortable?"

Clarke raised an eyebrow at her.

"Okay, I know why" Raven conceded, "I promise I'll stay respectful of her privacy"

 

 

\--------------

 

 

Clarke opened the youtube app and typed _thecommander_ in the search bar. She found the account pretty quickly. It had about ten thousand subscribers and three videos had already been uploaded.

She clicked on one song that was called _Gasoline_ and smiled when she heard the sound of a guitar.

[Gasoline - Halsey](https://youtu.be/zRHNi3QfFlE)

_**So she can play the guitar too,** _ she told herself, ** _Is there anything that woman can't do?_**

When the actress' voice reached her ears, Clarke was convinced that there wasn't a thing Lexa Woods didn't know how to do.

Her voice was absolutely beautiful but what hit her the most was the lyrics. She could see why Lexa would have written about such a topic. Celebrities are too often treated as a means to entertain more than as a human being.

She listened to another one called _Paralyzed_ and found herself on the verge of tears because of the raw emotion in it.

[Paralyzed - NF](https://youtu.be/DHhHUZsXTBk)

This song was uploaded a little over eight months ago and Clarke pieced it together, understanding that this had been written when Lexa was going through depression.

With that knowledge, listening to the song hit her even harder than before. Tears were streaming down her face by the end of it and she quickly texted something to Lexa.

 **Clarke ❤️- 5.32pm:** _You are not alone. And I need you to know that I see you. The real you._

 **Lexa ✨- 5.34pm:** _I'm very touched but what prompted that text?_

 **Clarke ❤️- 5.34pm** **:** _I listened to your songs. I listened to Paralyzed_

 **Lexa ✨ - 5.34pm:** _oh...I was in a bad place when I wrote that one. I should probably delete it_

 **Clarke ❤️- 5.35pm:** _don't. This is a big part of you and I don't think you should try to erase that. The song is beautiful. So are you_

 **Lexa ✨- 5.35pm:** _thank you, Clarke. You have no idea how much this means to me_

 **Clarke ❤️- 5.36pm:** _Lexa?_

 **Lexa✨ - 5.36pm:** _yeah?_

 **Clarke ❤️- 5.36pm:** _you are very talented_

 **Lexa✨ - 5.37pm:** _thank you, Clarke. My talent could never equate yours, though_

 **Clarke ❤️- 5.37pm:** _you just refuse to admit you're more talented than me, huh?_

 **Lexa✨ - 5.38pm:** _that is because no one will ever be nearly as talented as you are_

Clarke's heart fluttered and she smiled widely before typing another text.

 **Clarke ❤️- 5.38pm:** _charmer_

 **Lexa✨ - 5.39pm:** _more like truth teller_ ;) _I gotta go, talk to you later?_

 **Clarke ❤️- 5.39pm:** _of course_ :)

 

 

\--------------

 

 

Anya burst into the room and dropped on the couch, "I want to meet Clarke" she announced, cutting right to the point.

Lexa stopped her movements and turned to look at her sister, "Why?"

Anya raised an eyebrow, "Isn't it kind of obvious? She's a potential threat. I need to know if she will turn out to be one or not"

Lexa sighed, "I won't cut her out of my life on the sole basis that you don't trust her" she stood her ground, "This is my life"

"I don't want to see you heartbroken again"

"What-"

"You act like you are completely unfazed by it but I know your break up with Costia was a hard time for you. It's okay to be honest about it"

"I don't know what you're talking about" Lexa mumbled.

"Lex...your drinking problem really started when she broke up with you" Anya sighed, "I know you want to put this behind you but if you're going to date Clarke, I need to make sure she won't break your heart"

"My break up with Costia was my fault only" Lexa said, "I have no one to blame but me. Besides, Clarke would never purposely hurt me"

"You don't know that..." Anya said, getting up to place a hand on Lexa's forearm.

Lexa yanked her arm away, "I trust Clarke" she confidently stated, "She's not like everyone else. She's special"

Anya dropped her arm to her side, "Then why won't you agree to let me meet her?"

Lexa stayed silent for a few seconds before she spoke, ever so quietly, "You could scare her away"

"What?" Anya frowned.

"I don't want her to leave me" Lexa said, growing emotional, "I can't lose somebody else in my life because of my status" her shoulders slumped. She dropped on the couch and buried her face in her hands. She felt the dip of the couch, then a hand went to rest on her back, "I just...What if she realizes what are the real implications of being my friend, or more?" she asked, "What if she decides she doesn't want that kind of thing?"

"Don't you think she would have left already if that was the case? If she wasn't ready to be your friend, why would she have stayed even after you told her who your were?"

Lexa shook her head, "I don't think she realizes yet what it means to be around me" she sighed, "I'm constantly followed by paparazzi, I'm almost always travelling around the world..."

"Which is why you need to have a real conversation with her about it. See if she truly is serious about this"

Lexa nodded, "You're right" she told her sister, "And you can meet her, I guess...if she agrees to it" she added.

Anya nodded and pulled out her phone, "We're flying back in two days and you have an interview today so the only time that this is possible is tomorrow"

Lexa's eyes widened, "We're already going back?" she said, "But...I don't want to leave her..."

Anya looked at her sympathetically, "I know but we cannot stay here forever. You know that"

Lexa nodded, "Can you at least promise me that we'll make as many trips here as possible?"

Anya smiled, "I promise" she got up and left the room, already unlocking her phone, "And remember, the car will be down in about one hour so be ready"

Lexa nodded. As soon as her sister was gone, she took her phone and called Clarke.

 _"Hey"_ Clarke's cheerful voice came through the phone, _"What's up?"_

Lexa smiled upon hearing that voice, "My sister slash manager wants to meet you" she said, "And I would like to see you one more time before I fly back to Los Angeles"

 _"You're flying back?"_ the sad tone of Clarke's voice wasn't lost on Lexa, _"When?"_

"In two days" Lexa dejectedly revealed, "But I'll try to come back as soon as possible. I promise"

She heard nothing but silence for a few seconds until she heard a deep sigh, _"I'm gonna miss you"_ Clarke admitted.

Lexa's features softened and she held the phone very close to her ear, "I'm gonna miss you too. I’ll visit as often as possible"

 _"I’ll hold you to that"_ Clarke said, _"And tell your sister slash manager"_ she laughed a bit as she repeated Lexa's words, _"that I'll be honored to meet her"_

Lexa smiled, "Can we come over tomorrow?"

 _"You can come over whenever you want"_ was Clarke's answer.

"I can't wait to see you again" Lexa confessed.

Clarke laughed, _"It's only been two days since you last saw me"_ she said.

"Two days is too long"

 _"I can't wait to see you either"_ Clarke's voice turned softer when she uttered the words.

"See you tomorrow, Clarke"

_"See you tomorrow, Lexa"_

 

 

\----------------

 

  
Anya knocked on the door, Lexa in tow. It opened and revealed a girl who Anya guessed was Raven.

"Well hello, cheekbones" Raven said, eyeing Anya up and down. Anya rolled her eyes and pushed past her and into the apartment, "Please, come in" Raven said sarcastically.

Lexa smiled slightly and waved, "Hi, Raven"

Raven chuckled a bit and grinned like an idiot, "Never gonna get used to that" she said before stepping aside to let her in as well, "Griffin! Get down here!"

"Two minutes!" Clarke shouted back.

"Your girlfriend is here!" Raven shouted.

"She's not my girlfriend!" Clarke said, "And I'm coming, geez" she said as she descended the stairs, a hairbrush in hand.

A smile formed on her face when she saw Lexa, sitting on one of the couches in the living room.

"Hey, Lex" she smiled warmly.

 _"Lex?"_ Anya mouthed at Lexa who waved her off.

"Hi, Clarke" the brunette mirrored the blonde's smile and gestured for her to sit next to her on the couch.

Anya looked pointedly at Raven, "Could you...?" she gestured for her to leave and Raven did so, not without grumbling in protest.

Clarke stood a bit straighter now that they were alone with Anya, bracing herself for the discussion ahead.

"I'm Clarke Griffin" she said, extending her hand towards Anya, "Nice to meet you" she gave the woman her most charming smile in an attempt to get rid of the tension in the room.

"I know who you are" Anya said. Lexa elbowed her in the ribs and Anya grabbed Clarke's hand in hers, shaking it, "I would have liked to say it is nice to meet you but that has yet to be determined"

Clarke gulped and looked towards Lexa, shying away from Anya's intense glare. The actress scooted closer and took Clarke's hand, rubbing reassuring circles on it with her thumb.

"What is it exactly that you expect from Lexa?" Anya crossed her legs and intertwined her fingers, resting them on her knee.

Clarke frowned, "I don't really expect anything...Am I supposed to?" she asked, "I mean, I want to be her friend but aside from that, I don't have any expectations"

Anya seemed pleased with that answer, "I hate doing this, you know" she told Clarke, "But I have to make sure Lexa's safety and reputation aren't at risk here"

Clarke nodded in understanding, "I would never hurt her purposely. It isn't my intention nor will it ever be"

"What if you grow tired of your friendship or if something happens that causes you two to stop being friends? Would you release info about her to the press then?"

"In the highly unlikely event of our friendship ending, I will remain respectful of her privacy and will not release information to the press" Clarke honestly said.

Anya rummaged through her bag, "Here is a contract stipulating that you cannot release to the press any information concerning Lexa's private life or we could sue you for it. All you have to do is sign at the bottom" she handed the blonde a pen.

"Wait, what?" Lexa said, "Anya, this isn't necessary" she argued.

"I think it is, Lexa" her sister argued back, "I know you trust her but I can't base my trust on a feeling or a first impression. Being wary of the people surrounding you is my job"

"There doesn't need to be s-"

"I'll sign it" Clarke interrupted, grabbing the pen from Anya's hand.

Lexa grabbed her wrist in a gentle way, "You don't have to" she told the blonde, "I don't want you to feel tied to some dumb contract you were forced to sign" she glared at her sister.

Clarke tenderly pried Lexa's hand away from her wrist, "I know what I'm getting into" she tried to reassure the actress, "And I know I won't betray you so this is just a formality, really" she shrugged.

Lexa looked unconvinced, "I don't want to put you in that situation"

Clarke smiled, "That's sweet of you but I'm putting myself in this situation. If I want you to trust me, I have to prove to you that you can"

"I already trust you"

Clarke's eyes softened before she put the pen down on the paper and signed at the bottom, "There. It's done" she smiled at Lexa, "It's okay. I wanted to do that"

Anya watched with a tiny smile. It was a good sign that Clarke didn't hesitate to sign it. Did that mean Anya would now trust the girl blindly? No. But it was a start. A very good start.

Lexa's face betrayed how bothered she was by the whole situation and Clarke took her hand, "Follow me" she said.

Lexa looked at Anya who motioned for her to go and the brunette followed Clarke into her bedroom.

Her eyes took in everything in the room. It felt special to be allowed access to Clarke's room and she wanted to remember everything about it.

The walls were painted in light blue and paintings were hung on them, each more beautiful than the other. A king sized bed stood in the middle of the room, white blankets haphazardly thrown on it.

"I haven't had time to clean, I'm sorry" Clarke apologized and took a seat on the bed, "I wasn't ready to receive someone in here" she chuckled nervously, "You must think I'm a messy person"

"Not at all" Lexa shook her head as she sat next to Clarke on the bed, "I like your room" she commented, still looking around.

"Thanks" Clarke smiled then remembered why she had brought Lexa here in the first place, "I didn't sign this because I felt like I had to"

Lexa tore her eyes away from the paintings to look at the beautiful girl sitting next to her, "You didn't?" she frowned.

"I want to prove to you that you can trust me. And before you say that you already do, I know that you don't. Not completely anyway"

Lexa was about to protest but Clarke placed a finger on her lips, hushing her.

"You can't tell me you haven't had any doubts about my honesty when it comes to this"

Lexa opened her mouth to protest then closed it when she realized Clarke was right, "But.." she weakly said.

Clarke leaned towards Lexa and rested her head on the brunette's shoulder, "I'm glad you're here" she changed the topic of discussion.

"Me too"

"I don't want you to leave"

Lexa sighed, "Me neither" she leaned her head against Clarke's, "Do you think you could come with us to the airport tomorrow?"

Clarke took a second too long to reply and already, Lexa was backtracking.

"It was stupid to ask...You probably don't want to" she berated herself.

Clarke shook her head, her hair tickling the skin of Lexa's neck as she did so, "It wasn't stupid. I just needed to verify that I don't have work tomorrow"

Lexa drew away from her, sitting upright, "Do you?" she asked, praying for a negative answer

"Only in the late afternoon" Clarke answered, smiling, "You really want me to come with you to the airport?"

Lexa nodded eagerly, "Please"

"Then I'll go" Clarke shrugged and her smile widened when she took in the joyful expression on Lexa's face, "You look beautiful when you smile" she blurted out.

She wanted to swallow back the words but she didn't because the immense smile that split Lexa's lips made her heart flutter.

"You look beautiful all the time" Lexa said, looking at her with fondness in her bright, green eyes.

Clarke looked down at her hands bashfully and smiled ever so slightly, trying to contain the grin threatening to escape.

Knocks on the door tore them away from the moment and they jumped in surprise at the sound.

"Lexa, we have to go!" Anya said through the door, "Luna just called to let you know of a small gathering with some of the cast"

Lexa sighed, "I have to go" she dejectedly said, "I'll see you tomorrow?" hope and uncertainty laced her voice and they could both hear it.

Clarke nodded and smiled.

"We leave at nine from the hotel" Lexa told her, "I'll come pick you up with the car" she said excitedly.

"Sounds good" Clarke returned the smile and they both got up to re-enter the living room.

Before Clarke opened the door of the bedroom, however, Lexa took hold of her hand and lifted up to her lips, tenderly kissing the back of Clarke's hand, "Thank you for being my friend" she murmured.

Clarke didn't want to admit it but her heart rate picked up at the feeling of Lexa's lips on her hand and she wanted to say _fuck it_ and just kiss her but she knew it wasn't that simple. She and Lexa lived thousands of miles apart and before starting a relationship with the actress, she needed to make sure they could survive the distance. Maybe how the next few months play out would be her way of seeing if they could make it despite the distance and Lexa's hectic schedule.

She watched from her doorway as Lexa stepped into the elevator, the door closing a few seconds later. Before the actress disappeared from her sight, she saw her smile at her and she couldn't help but let a smile of her own escape.

 

 

\---------------

 

 

  
"She seems legit" Anya said as she drove them to the small party organized for the whole cast in a hotel in New York.

"She is" Lexa quickly corrected.

Anya hummed, "I can see why you're crushing on her. She's pretty hot"

Lexa frowned, "I don't like her simply for her looks, An" she said in a guarded tone, "She's so much more than just that"

Anya threw a furtive glance at her while parking the car, "I know. I didn't mean to imply otherwise. I'm sorry" she apologized, "She obviously means a lot to you"

"She does"

"And I won't try to stop you from being her friend" she said, "Or more if that's what she wants as well" she added, "I don't think I could keep you away from her even if I tried" she winked.

Lexa smiled and opened the car door. She was greeted by Luna instantly, her body enveloped by the girl's arms, "Hey, Luna"

"Come inside" Luna tugged at her hand, "The others are already here. Well, Kim couldn't make it but all the others are here"

Lexa followed her to the reception room and greeted each of her castmates with a warm hug, happy to see each of them.

Mercedes lifted her up in a hug, "I missed you, you asshole" she said before lowering her to the floor.

Lexa laughed, "I always find myself impressed by how strong you are" she said, "I missed you too....kinda" she said.

"Kinda? Well, I'm offended" Mercedes said, putting a hand over her heart.

Lexa laughed, "I really missed you, dummy" she said.

Mercedes hummed, "Better" she said with a satisfied smile, "Much better"

Lexa rolled her eyes and took a seat next to Lincoln. As for Luna, she sat next to the actress. Sort of next to her.

The couch was small so Luna was practically on top of Lexa. The girl seemed completely unapologetic about invading Lexa's personal space and the brunette did not complain. She was used to it by now.

"How was it back in Australia?" Lincoln asked.

Lexa smiled, "It was good" she said, "I had missed my little brother. Seeing him again was really nice. Especially for such a long period of time"

"He must have been happy to see you"

"He was" Lexa said with a sad smile, "Sometimes I just feel like a shitty sister for abandoning him while I work here"

Luna placed a hand on her shoulder, "You're an amazing sister" she said with utmost sincerity, "You always talk about your brother so highly and it seems you two have a strong bond"

Lexa smiled, "We do"

"Out of all of us, you're the one who visits their family the most. And most of our relatives live in America while yours live at the other end of the world" she laughed, "You are so dedicated to your family. You should never feel like you don't do enough because you do more than enough"

"Thanks, Lu" Lexa said, "I needed to hear that, I think" she smiled a bit.

"Anytime" Luna kissed her cheek and grinned widely.

 

 

\-------------

 

  
"So this is it?" Clarke quietly asked when they were sitting near the gates for Lexa's flight which was going to take off in less than one hour. They were a bit early but at least that meant they could talk, "You're flying back and we keep talking on the phone?"

"That's pretty much the plan" Lexa sadly said, "I wish I could stay longer. I wish I had more free time, I really do"

"I know you do" Clarke returned Lexa's sad smile, "I wish we had more time" she didn't know what for. She just knew she wanted more time with Lexa.

Lexa sighed, "I do too" she admitted, "But we can talk to each other everyday on the phone" she said, trying to lift up the spirit a little.

"Yeah but it's not the same" Clarke sighed.

Lexa's small smile dropped, "I know" she quietly agreed, "But this is all we can-"

She was interrupted when she felt someone tug on her sleeve, "Excuse me, are you Lexa Woods, ma'am?" a little girl asked. She couldn't be older than five years old.

Lexa smiled, pushing back her sad thoughts for the time being, "That's me, sweetheart" she said, "And what's your name?"

"Lily" the girl replied, smiling brightly, showing off the cute gap between her front teeth.

"It is very nice to meet you, Lily" Lexa extended a hand with fake seriousness.

The girl giggled and placed her hand in Lexa's, holding it with a surprisingly strong grip, "Can I have a...." she frowned and looked behind her at her father, "Daddy, what is it called again?"

"An autograph, sweetie" her father said.

"Yes, I want an austrograph" she said, slightly mispronouncing the word which drew a small laugh from the actress.

"Alright, do you have anything I can sign on?" she kindly asked as she pulled a sharpie out of her bag. She always kept one with her just in case.

The little girl nodded her head and pulled out a small poster of Fear The Walking Dead from her bag, "On this" she tapped the poster proudly.

"Oh, you watch the show? It's not too scary for you?" Lexa asked as she signed her name on it and wrote a small message below it.

"No because I'm a big girl" the girl puffed her chest out and Lexa laughed.

The father lowered his voice and addressed the actress, "We cover her eyes during the really gore scenes"

Lexa laughed, "I think it's better if you do" she winked, "Even I can't watch them sometimes" she chuckled and handed the poster back to the little girl.

Clarke watched as Lexa hugged the little girl and said goodbye to her and her father, wishing them both a nice day and a safe flight. She felt her heart grow twice its size.

"You really love your fans"

It wasn't a question. It was an affirmation based on what she had observed just now.

"They're everything to me" Lexa revealed, "They helped a lot when I went through depression" she said in a much sadder tone.

"Oh, I'm sorry"

It was all Clarke could think to say. What else was she supposed to say, really?

Lexa shook her head and smiled, her hand moving to rest on Clarke's knee as their eyes connected, "You helped me a lot too" she said, "Without even knowing it"

"I did?" Clarke was surprised by this.

"I just..." she tried to put words on what she was feeling, "You made me feel less alone" she admitted, "I'm not as confident as people make me to be"

Clarke didn't say anything. She simply listened because she thought it was what Lexa needed right now.

"I'm too scared to come out to the world" Lexa said, "And it's been weighing on me for a long time now. The break up with my ex because of my fear to come out was just the triggering event for me to fall into alcoholism and severe depression"

Clarke wrapped one arm around Lexa's shoulder and the actress leaned into the contact, "You got through it" the blonde said, "You're strong and you have people who love you. Your sister for instance. She's overprotective but this is because she cares about you. I just met her but I know she would do anything for you"

Lexa nodded and turned her face so that it was buried in Clarke's neck, "Thank you" she whispered, her warm breath tickling the skin of Clarke's neck.

The blonde giggled and mentally smacked herself, "Sorry, it just...it tickled me. I'm not making fun of you, I swear" she hurried to say, "God this is so me. Laughing in the most inappropriate moments" she scolded herself.

Lexa giggled, "It's okay" she assured the blonde, "You weren't laughing at me" she shrugged before she blew air into Clarke's neck and the blonde squirmed away from her.

"Lexa!" she hissed.

The brunette laughed and stared at the blonde with a fondness that had Clarke's heart do somersaults in her chest.

"I'll come back here soon" Lexa said seriously, "I promise"

"If it fits your schedule" Clarke said, "We'll be happy to welcome you back in New York"

"I'll make it fit" Lexa said, "And maybe someday I could convince you to visit Los Angeles?" she added in a hopeful voice.

Clarke smiled, "I'm sure it won't take any convincing" she said in a small voice, chancing a glance at the actress before her gaze fell to her own hands.

Lexa wore a similar smile on her face and she was about to say something else when Anya appeared with her passport in hand, "The plane will take off in forty minutes" she announced, "which means you two have about ten minutes before the boarding begins"

The mood changed and Clarke's face turned into a dejected one at the inevitable realization that they would have to part very soon.

Anya gave Lexa her passport and left them both alone, telling the actress she'd be back in time for boarding.

"Why don't you use your private plane?" Clarke asked out of curiosity.

Lexa chuckled, "Because I don't have one" she simply replied.

Clarke's eyes widened, "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to assume. I just figured because, you know, actors are well-paid and everything" she rambled.

Lexa smiled, "It's not that I can't afford it" she shrugged, "I just don't want to get one" she clarified.

"Oh?" Clarke frowned, "Why not? Surely it can't be because you enjoy hearing babies crying during the flight"

Lexa grinned, "I love babies but their cries tend to be quite bothersome sometimes" she laughed, "I just don't want to become one of those celebrities who lose themselves in fame" she tried to explain, "I wanna keep it real, you know"

Clarke stared at her in wonder, "You're kind of amazing" she spoke her thoughts aloud.

Lexa laughed, "Because I don't want a private jet?" she asked, grinning widely.

Clarke smiled too, "Because most celebrities never stop in their quest for fame but you don't seem to care about that at all" she said, "You do this job purely because you love it, not caring about the advantages of it. Not many celebrities can honestly say the same"

Lexa smirked, "You'll find I'm not like most celebrities" she bent down to reach for a chocolate bar in her bag.

"I can see that" Clarke said, "I kind of realized it when we first met" she added.

"Yeah?" Lexa asked, unwrapping the chocolate bar, "Want some?" she offered.

"No, thank you" Clarke smiled.

Lexa shrugged, "Your loss" she grinned and detached one of the blocks of chocolate to eat it, humming at the taste before smiling cheekily at Clarke.

The blonde shook her head with a smile, "You are a child"

Lexa swallowed down the chocolate and grinned, "A child whom you're friends with" she said in a happy tone.

"God knows why" Clarke rolled her eyes.

Lexa laughed, "You like me, Griffin" she said, eating another block of chocolate.

"That has yet to be proven, Woods" Clarke retorted with an amused smile, lightly bumping her shoulder against the actress'.

Lexa's eyes were bright and she felt happy in that moment, simply being there with Clarke. Momentarily, she could forget about all the things that weren't right in her life and it felt truly nice.

"It's the last piece" Lexa said, showing her almost finished chocolate bar, "It's now or never" she told the blonde.

Clarke rolled her eyes.

"Careful, if you keep rolling your eyes, they might get stuck like that" Lexa pointed a warning finger at her.

"You don't actually believe this is true, do you?"

Lexa grinned and shrugged, "Do you want to find out?" she teased. She gestured at the chocolate, "So, what's it gonna be, Clarke?"

Clarke's heart jumped in her chest at hearing once more the way her name rolled off Lexa's tongue so beautifully. Hearing it in person was even better than on the phone.

"Fine, give me that damn chocolate" she said.

"I knew you couldn't resist" Lexa grinned.

Clarke extended her hand, palm up, and Lexa shook her head, causing Clarke to frown.

She moved the sweet closer to the barista's lips, "Open up" she said, laughing at Clarke's small pout.

Lexa dropped the chocolate in Clarke's mouth and her breath caught in her throat when the girl's lips made contact with her fingers for a brief second as the blonde closed her lips around the offered sweet.

She willed herself not to blush as she retracted her hand and rested it in her lap. **_Get a grip, you useless lesbian,_ ** she mentally chastised herself.

"It's actually good" Clarke hummed.

"Only the best for my friends" Lexa winked and the gesture got Clarke to turn red embarrassingly fast, "Why are you blushing, Clarke?" Lexa asked with a teasing smile.

"I'm not blushing" the blonde denied, "It's just...a bit hot in here"

Lexa nodded, unconvinced, "Must be why" she smirked, "The weather isn't the only thing that's hot here" she added with another wink and Clarke blushed even harder, to the actress' amusement.

"Stop" Clarke pushed at her shoulder, "You're doing this on purpose" she accused.

Lexa smiled, "You know what? I won't even deny it" she said, "By the way, you look cute when you blush"

Clarke let a small smile escape and she moved a hand to grab one of the actress'. She slowly leaned her head towards Lexa's shoulder and seeing that the actress wasn't moving away, she fully dropped her head on it.

"I'm gonna miss talking to you like that" she confessed, breathing in the actress' perfume.

Lexa sighed and her thumb gently brushed against the back of Clarke's hand in a circular motion, "Me too"

It was said in a quiet voice but Clarke still heard it and she squeezed Lexa's hand in hers, "We can facetime sometimes?" she offered.

"We can do that" Lexa agreed smiling.

"I was afraid to before" Clarke admitted, "I didn't want you to feel obligated to show me your face or anything like that"

Lexa's smile never left her face as she replied, "I kind of found your instagram a couple months ago, though" she revealed.

"Wait" Clarke said, raising her head from Lexa's shoulder. Instantly, the brunette missed the contact, "All this time you knew what I looked like and I had no idea?"

"Pretty much" Lexa laughed, "But I can assure you that pictures do not do justice to your beauty" she smoothly said.

Clarke stared at her for a few seconds before quietly speaking, "I could say the same for you" a blush settled on her cheeks.

Lexa looked like she wanted to ask something but was hesitating so the blonde told her to ask whatever it was she was keeping in.

"Can you put your head back on my shoulder?" Lexa blushed as she said the words.

Clarke's eyes softened and she chuckled quietly at how odd Lexa could be. The girl had no issue throwing her compliment after compliment but became a huge gay mess when it came to making a simple request.

The blonde nodded, "Of course" she lay her head back on the brunette's shoulder and smiled at the small content sigh that escaped the actress' lips.

A voice suddenly rang through the speaker, _"The passengers for the flight 214 with destination Los Angeles are required to be at the boarding gates in five minutes"_

Lexa sighed, "Five minutes" she said dejectedly.

"Don't remind me" Clarke said.

"I didn't" Lexa said, "The lady on the intercom did it" she joked.

Clarke raised her head and swatted her on the shoulder before resting her head back on it, "Not funny" she said with a small smile.

"If I have to put up with your lame, late-night jokes, you're gonna put up with mine" Lexa said.

"You're the one who makes lame, late-night jokes" Clarke pointed out, "Come to think of it, you just make lame jokes all the time"

"I do, don't I?" Lexa said, a smile tugging at her lips. She wrapped her free arm around the blonde's shoulders and squeezed the hand she was still holding.

They stayed like this in comfortable silence for a few minutes, eyes closed, until Anya reappeared and told Lexa it was almost time to go.

The brunette looked down and played with Clarke's fingers, "I'm sorry I have to go. I would have stayed if I could" she quietly said before they both got up.

Clarke nodded, "I know" she said, "but you can't" she added with a sad shrug, "It's okay. It's your job and it's important"

Lexa tilted her chin up, a gentle request for blue eyes to connect with green ones, "You are important too" she said, not an ounce of dishonesty in her voice.

Clarke's lips split into a bright smile at the admission and she wrapped her arms around Lexa's shoulders.

The passengers started boarding for the plane and they both stayed rooted in their position, in each other's arms, holding on tightly.

Anya cleared her throat after a couple minutes, "I hate doing this but we really have to go, Lex" she looked at the two women apologetically.

Lexa nodded and grabbed her bag, lifting it onto her shoulder, "I'll see you soon" she told Clarke.

"Call me when you're home?" Clarke said and it came out as a question more than an affirmation.

Lexa nodded and offered her a tight-lipped smile, "I will" she assured the blonde. She then looked behind her at Anya who was waiting for her, "I really have to go" she said.

Clarke nodded in acceptance and she stepped forward, slightly getting on her toes to press her lips against the actress' cheek, "Have a safe flight" she whispered into the brunette's ear before stepping away.

"Y-yeah" Lexa stuttered out, smiling dumbly at Clarke who let out a chuckle at the brunette's expression.

Lexa turned around with a wide smile, her fingers brushing against her cheek, on the spot Clarke's lips were pressed against mere seconds ago.

She walked towards Anya, falling into steps with her sister. They showed their passport to the employee and stepped forward. She threw one last smile at Clarke over her shoulder as she walked away.

Clarke reciprocated the smile and a few seconds later, the actress was out of sight, away from her.

She pulled out her phone and texted Lexa.

 **Clarke ❤️- 12.34pm** **:** _It was amazing to finally meet you in person. I can't wait for it to happen again_ :)

It only took twenty seconds for a reply to come.

 **Lexa✨ - 12.34pm:** _Me neither. Until then, you'll just have to suffer through my lame, late-night jokes ;)_

Clarke laughed and locked her phone, smiling down at it. It wasn't easy to part with Lexa but nonetheless, she felt happier than she had in a long time.

 

 

 

 


	7. Chapter 7

 

Lexa's eyes widened when she opened a tab on her phone and read the headline of the first article that popped up.

_**WHO IS LEXA WOODS’ NEW FRIEND?** _

Under the headline was a clear picture of Clarke and herself hugging at the airport gate.

Lexa scrolled down and smacked herself on the forehead when she saw many more pictures of the two of them, pictures on which Clarke’s face appeared several times. She let out a deep sigh. With those pictures out in the open, it was only a matter of time until the public identified Clarke.

She punched her fist down on the table before dropping her face in her hands, “Stupid, stupid, stupid” she scolded herself.

She knew what being famous entailed. She knew paparazzi were most likely going to be at the airport and yet she failed to preserve Clarke's anonymity.

She pulled out her phone and typed out a text. Seeing as she was in Los Angeles and Clarke was in New York, probabilities were that the blonde had already seen the pictures long before she did.

**Lexa ✨- 9.22am:** _Clarke, I don't know if you have seen the headline and the article yet but you probably will soon and I want to tell you that I'm so sorry and I will try to sort this out. Please, call me. I need to know if you're okay with this or not_

She then sent a text to Anya, her thumbs moving quickly over the keyboard.

**Lex - 9.23am:** _Anya, I need your help with preserving Clarke’s anonymity. I don't want her to be put in the eye of the public. I need those pictures to be taken down as soon as possible_

**An - 9.23am:** _On it_

**Lex - 9.23am:** _You're the best. Love you_

She slumped on the couch, checking her phone every two minutes in hope that Clarke will have responded to her messages.

 

  
<<<>>>

 

  
Clarke rubbed her eyes and entered the kitchen to pour herself some cereal. Raven appeared into the living room, eyes wide.

“Griff, you’re famous” she said, throwing a phone in her face.

Clarke frowned, still a bit sleepy, “What the fuck are you talking about?” she asked in a raspy voice, taking the phone in her hand.

The first thing she noticed was that it was past noon. She had slept way more than she intended to. Her eyes then skimmed over the article and her mouth opened a bit more as each bit of information registered in her brain, “They took pictures of us” she stated the obvious.

Raven nodded, “Now everyone is going to know you're friends with Lexa Woods. We're about to be famous, Griffin” she playfully punched her arm.

Clarke looked at the photos and smiled a bit when she caught sight of one where they were hugging. It was a cute picture.

She smiled down at the phone for a few more seconds until the reality of things caught up with her mind. She was in the tabloids, seen in the company of none other than Lexa Woods. Her face was in the tabloids for anyone to see.

She paused a second to think about how she felt about that.

On one hand, she felt uncomfortable knowing people all around the world would know who she is and maybe try to find out even more about her. On the other hand, she told herself that she knew what she was getting into when she agreed to a friendship with the actress.

Admittedly she didn't expect to be placed in the eye of the public so quickly but it would not be fair to Lexa if she decided to cut ties with the brunette out of fear of what these photos will bring, fear of the unknown.

Raven was still babbling excitedly about how they could rub it in the faces of all the people who ever made fun of them, when Clarke's phone dinged with a text message.

Lexa’s name appeared on screen and it didn't take a genius to guess what the topic of the conversation was going to be.

**Lexa ✨- 12.22pm:** _Clarke, I don't know if you have read the headline and the article yet but you probably will soon and I want to tell you that I'm so sorry and I will try to sort this out. Please, call me. I need to know if you're okay with this or not_

Clarke smiled down at her phone. She felt touched that Lexa would instantly check in with her about it. She closed the cereal box and abandoned her breakfast in favor of retreating to the quiet of her bedroom.

Raven caught up with her and closed the door behind her, “Are you okay with all this?” she asked, her excitement replaced by worry for her best friend.

Clarke nodded, “I guess so” she said, unsure, “I don’t really know what’s going to happen now so I can’t really tell”

“What would you do if your name was to become public?”

Clarke sighed, “I have no idea” she told her friend, “I’ve never had to deal with something like that. I don’t know what it's like” she explained, “All I know is that I don't want to end my friendship with Lexa over that”

Raven nodded, “Whatever happens, I’m here for you. You know that, right?” she quietly said, not used to being so open about her feelings.

“I know. Come here, you asshole” she opened her arms and Raven returned the hug, “I have to call Lexa” Clarke said, “I think she might be waiting anxiously for my call”

Raven pulled away from the hug and smiled, “You know, I always make jokes about how attractive Lexa is but I promise to stop once you two get together”

“You won’t stop” Clarke countered, rolling her eyes.

Raven laughed, “You’re right, I won’t” she smirked, “But you didn’t deny the claim that you were going to get together”

Clarke smiled down, “Maybe someday” she whispered, “If she’s still interested”

“If she’s still interested?!” Raven exclaimed, “Hold on, let me put my thirst for her aside and be real for a second. That woman looks at you like you’re one of the seven world wonders. Of course she’ll still be interested”

Clarke shrugged, “Yeah, maybe”

Raven clicked her tongue and got up from the bed, “I need you to start believing that you are sexy because you are. Like, damn, woman” she low-whistled.

Clarke laughed, “Careful, some might think you’re attracted to me”

“Don’t push it, Griffin” Raven smirked, “I also don’t feel like getting into a competition against Lexa for your affections. I would lose pathetically”

Clarke laughed and looked down at her phone when it dinged again.

**Lexa ✨- 12.32pm:** _Please, call me. I’m so sorry. I should have been more careful and I’ll apologize to you a thousand times if you want me to but I just need to speak with you_

Clarke’s heart jumped in her chest and she felt her affection for the actress grow tenfold after reading the message.

“I really need to call her” Clarke said, showing the screen to Raven.

“Well, damn. I don’t know how you did it but you got Lexa Woods to fall in love with you”

“She’s not in love with me” Clarke said before pushing Raven out of the room just as another message came through, “Get out”

**Lexa ✨- 12.33pm:** _Please, Clarke_

Clarke quickly closed the door of the bedroom and called the actress.

 

  
<<<>>>

 

  
Lexa sighed when she saw that her message had been left unanswered. She sent another one, hoping for a reply this time.

Her heart skipped a beat when she heard the ringtone of her phone and Clarke’s name appeared on the screen. She was sure she had never picked up the phone so quickly in her entire life.

“Clarke, I’m so sorry” she skipped over the greetings, giving out an apology right away, “I should have known they would be there”

_“Lexa”_ the blonde’s gentle voice came through the phone, _“Stop apologizing. I’m not mad at you”_

Two beats passed until the silence was filled with Lexa’s uncertain voice, “You’re not?”

_“Of course not”_ Clarke said, her tone honest and soft, _“It’s not your fault in any way if the paps snapped those pictures”_

Lexa sighed, “It kind of is” she said, “I know how this works. They're always there and I should have remembered they would have been there, ready to take pictures of us”

_“I know how paparazzi work too and I agreed to go with you to the airport”_ Clarke argued, _“I admit that I did not expect to see dozens of pictures of us not even twenty four hours later but come to think of it, it was bound to happen”_

“I’m sorry you got dragged into this” Lexa apologized again, shoulders slumped.

_“Would you please stop apologizing?”_ Clarke asked in a surprisingly soft voice, _“I told you that I wasn't mad at you”_

Lexa kept quiet for a few seconds, processing the information, “You should be” she ended up saying, “I’m the reason your face is out there”

She heard Clarke sigh, _“I’m gonna need you to shut up right now because I chose to be your friend knowing exactly what I was getting into and I won’t let you feel bad about those photos”_

Lexa’s heart fluttered and she let a shy smile escaping, clutching the phone very close to her ear, “Thank you, Clarke” she whispered, “You’re amazing”

She heard that laugh which she loved so much, _“Of course I am”_ the blonde said, _“And Lexa?”_

The brunette hummed in question.

_“You're cute when you're worried”_ the smile could be heard in her voice.

Lexa was thankful they were on the phone and Clarke couldn't see her blush. She cleared her throat, “And you are beautiful at every hour of the day” she smoothly recovered.

The other end was silent for a few seconds and she started worrying she had overstepped her boundaries.

“Sorry. Was that too forward?” she asked.

_“No, no. I was just surprised”_ Clarke reassured her, _“How do you do it?”_

Lexa frowned, “How do I do what?” she asked.

_“You always manage to completely turn a situation around. Right when I think I got you all flustered, you say something like that and turn the tables completely”_ Clarke explained.

Lexa laughed, “If simply stating the truth makes you think I have game…” she trailed off with a bright smile.

_“You do have game, Woods”_ Clarke said, _“Don’t act like you don’t know that”_

Lexa smiled, “Enough game to have the utmost honor to take you on a date?” she tentatively asked.

Clarke thought it over. She had told Lexa she wasn’t sure she was ready to jump into another relationship so soon and that was true, she was scared of committing to someone for it to end badly, but ever since the moment she uttered those words, Lexa has proven time and time again that she was nothing like Finn and that she genuinely cared about her.

_“If you play your cards right, someday I might accept”_ she said, not giving a precise answer because, to be honest, she wasn’t sure herself of what she wanted.

She knew she wanted to have Lexa in her life, in what capacity? That had yet to be determined.

Lexa nodded, “Then get ready to be wooed like you truly deserve to be” she grinned.

_“I can’t wait”_ Clarke said. Her stomach grumbled and she was reminded of the breakfast she had abandoned in the kitchen and which she had yet to eat, _“I gotta go. My belly needs to be filled with some food”_

Lexa smiled, “Then I will leave you to it” she told the blonde, “Je te souhaite un bon appétit” she added in a perfect French accent.

**_*Have a nice meal*_ **

Clarke gasped, _“You speak French?”_

“Un petit peu” Lexa answered with a wide smile at the blonde’s obvious excitement.

**_*a little bit*_ **

_“That is so hot”_ Clarke said, _“Say something else”_ she requested.

“Tu es tellement belle” Lexa softly said.

_“What does it mean?”_ Clarke curiously asked.

“You are so beautiful” Lexa translated with a smile. She heard a soft, almost silent gasp from the other end and her smile widened.

_“Say it again”_

“You’re so beaut-” Lexa started speaking but Clarke cut her off mid-sentence.

_“No, in French”_ she requested, _“please”_

“Tu es tellement belle” Lexa repeated the words with a bright smile.

_“It sounds so romantic, dammit. Is this your way of seducing me, Ms. Woods?”_

“It depends” Lexa replied, “Is it working?”

_“It has its charm”_ Clarke replied with a small laugh.

“Then I might start using that more often” Lexa said with a small chuckle of her own. She stayed silent for a few seconds before speaking once again, “I asked Anya to deal with the pictures. If all goes well, they should be taken down in an hour or two”

_“That’s very thoughtful of you but you know that even if she can't make the pictures disappear, I’m okay with it, right?”_ she asked, _“I won’t get mad if the pictures are still there tomorrow”_

“Thank you, Clarke” Lexa smiled.

_“Sure thing”_ the blonde replied, _“I really have to go. My stomach is starting to make really weird noises that I hope you cannot hear through the phone”_ she laughed a bit.

Lexa chuckled, “Alright, I’ll let you eat” she said, “Au revoir” she added in a low voice.

_***goodbye*** _

_“Stop doing that!”_ Clarke whined.

Lexa laughed, “Bye, Clarke” she hung up the phone with a small smile.

 

  
**\----------------**

 

  
“It’s fixed” Anya announced when she walked into Lexa’s apartment later that day.

“Really?” Lexa got up from the couch, a smile growing on her face.

Anya smiled, “It cost us a bit of money but yeah” she said, _“oomph”_ she let out when Lexa's body crashed against her own.

“Thank you” Lexa whispered, “You're simply amazing”

“Tell me something I don't know” Anya smirked, “Some people might have seen them so I cannot promise Clarke's name will be kept out of the media”

Lexa nodded, aware that the pictures being taken down didn’t mean they won’t spread, “Yeah but it's better than having them out for anyone to see”

Anya nodded, “The producers need you downtown in two hours to record lines for the episodes you shot before you went to Australia” she said as she went to leave the apartment.

Lexa nodded, “Alright, I’ll start getting ready then” she told her sister before disappearing into her bedroom.

**Clarke ❤️- 1.21pm:** _you know, I think I’m starting to enjoy this fame_

Lexa clicked on the photo that was attached to the message and smiled when she saw a screenshot of who she assumed to be Clarke's friends, spamming her with messages, all asking how she knew Lexa Woods.

**Lexa  ✨- 1.22pm:** _enjoy it while it lasts, princess ;) Anya got the pictures taken down btw. It doesn’t fix everything but it's better than nothing_

**Clarke ❤️- 1.22pm:** _thank you, Lexa_

**Lexa ✨- 1.23pm:** _Anytime :)_

She locked her phone when she didn't receive another message for the next five minutes. She dropped on the bed and closed her eyes for a few seconds, basking in the silence. It didn’t last long.

Her phone rang and she opened her eyes, reaching for it. She answered the call without checking who was calling.

“Hello?” she said in a quiet, tired voice.

_“Hey, Lex”_ Luna’s cheerful voice sounded through the phone, _“How are you?”_

Lexa smiled, “I’m good. You?”

_“I’m great”_ Luna said, _“Lincoln suggested that the cast meets up tonight for a small party at his apartment. Will you be there?”_

Lexa hesitated, “I don't know…”

_“Please, Lex”_ Luna pleaded, _“I really want you to be there”_

Lexa sighed, “What time?”

Luna let out a happy sound, _“Six o’clock”_ she cheerfully answered, _“Thank you, Lex. You’re the best”_

“Yeah, yeah, I know” Lexa grinned, “See you tonight, Lu”

_“See you tonight, beautiful”_ Luna said before hanging up.

Lexa placed her phone on her pocket and closed her eyes once more, humming contentedly at finally being left in peace. She heard her ringtone again and sighed. This time, she checked the screen and saw that it was her sister, “Hey” she said into the phone.

_“Hey, Lex”_ Anya greeted, _“change of plans. I need you downstairs in thirty minutes. The producers have moved the recording to earlier”_

“Alright, I’ll be there” Lexa said, rubbing her eyes.

_“Don’t you dare fall asleep, Lexa”_

“How did you know I was about to fall asleep?”

_“You always sound weird when you’re tired. Just don’t fall asleep cause I don't want to have to climb the stairs to your apartment”_

“You could take the elevator” Lexa argued.

_“And risk getting stuck in it when we are on tight schedule? No way”_

“Well, don’t worry. I’ll be there on time” she reassured her sister before hanging up, placing the phone back on the table.

Her phone rang again a couple minutes later and she groaned, “For fuck’s sake” she muttered before picking up the phone, “What?” she said, a bit more aggressively than she intended to.

_“Oh, sorry...I didn’t mean to bother you”_

Lexa's eyes widened when she recognized Clarke's unmistakable, raspy voice.

“Clarke? I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to sound so rude” she apologized, “I didn’t know it was you and I received two calls in the past five minutes already. I didn’t mean to snap at you like that, I swear”

_“It’s okay, Lexa. I believe you”_ Clarke said in a soft tone.

Lexa nodded to herself, “Is there a specific reason you called me or was it simply to hear the delightful sound of my voice?”

Clarke let out a laugh, _“There was a reason, though hearing your voice is a nice added bonus”_

“I knew it” Lexa smiled, “So, why did you call?” she asked, grabbing a glass from one of the cupboards to pour herself some water.

_“I wanted to know if, maybe, by any chance, if you’re not too busy of course because you could be and-”_

Lexa chuckled, “Get to the point, Clarke”

_“Right”_ Clarke said, _“Would you accept to do a facetime call tonight?”_

Lexa grinned, “Missing my face already?”

Clarke laughed, _“If it was the case, I could just look up your name on google”_ she pointed out, _“But yes, I do miss your stupid face”  
_ she admitted.

“Hey, my face isn’t stupid!” Lexa argued, “It’s magnificent” she joked.

_“Raven would agree”_ Clarke let out a small chuckle, _“So...what do you say?”_

Lexa groaned when she remembered the party at Lincoln’s, “I have a thing with the cast tonight but I’ll find a room where I can isolate myself for a bit”

_“Oh no, it’s okay. You should enjoy your evening with your friends”_

“You are my friend. And I want to talk to you. I miss your stupid face too” she smiled.

_“Great!”_ Clarke exclaimed, _“Talk to you later?”_

“Yeah” Lexa said, “Talk to you later, Clarke”

 

  
**\--------------**

 

  
Lexa smiled down at the text she had just received from Clarke.

**Clarke ❤️ - 6.12pm:** _Have fun with your cast mates :)_

**Lexa ✨- 6.13pm:** _Thank you. I’ll find a way to call you, I promise_

She pocketed her phone and raised a fist to knock on the door of Lincoln’s house. Before she could bring her fist down on it, however, the door flew open and Luna greeted her with a bright smile.

“You’re finally here!” Luna said, moving forward to hug the brunette.

Lexa frowned, “I’m not late, am I?”

Luna shook her head, “Not really but everyone is already here. Come in” she stepped aside and closed the door behind them.

“Finally!” Mercedes shouted from her seat on the couch, “We've been waiting for at least…” she checked her watch, “ten whole minutes”

Lexa chuckled, “You’re an idiot”

“You love me” Mercedes countered.

Lexa shrugged, “Meh” she let out and laughed when Mercedes threw a pillow at her.

“Get your cute butt over here” the girl patted at the seat next to her on the couch.

“Spend a lot of time staring at my ass?” Lexa raised an eyebrow.

Mercedes laughed, “More than I should” she wiggled her eyebrows, eliciting laughter from most of the cast.

Luna wasn’t laughing, though. Her eyes could only be described as murderous as she watched Lexa and Mercedes interact. 

She reluctantly took a seat away from Lexa because all the seats around the brunette were already taken while they started calmly talking and catching up with each other. Lincoln went to get everyone beers and he started handing one to Lexa when Luna interjected, “She doesn’t drink”

Lincoln’s eyes widened, “Oh shit, that’s right. Sorry, Lex” he apologized.

Lexa shook her head, “It’s okay” she reassured him before sending a thankful smile to Luna.

Kim entered the room, “Was New York nice?” she asked, not having been able to make it.

“It was great” Lexa answered, her voice taking on a slightly dejected note at the reminder that she was now far away from Clarke.

“Doesn’t sound like it” Kim said with a small laugh.

“Sorry” Lexa apologized with a small smile, “It’s just…I met someone there and I didn’t want to leave so quickly”

The whole cast let out small _aw’s_ , except for Luna who emptied her drink quickly, racking her mind to find who it could be that Lexa was talking about.

“What’s his name?” Colman asked.

Lexa’s eyes widened, “Oh, no” she hurried to correct him, “It’s not a man”

They let out disappointed sounds and most of them slumped on the couch, except for Luna, once again who, on the contrary, was suddenly interested.

“You made a new friend?” she asked, putting emphasis on the word _friend._

“Something like that” Lexa smiled. Clarke was her friend, that was true, but she also was so much more than that. Lexa was just too scared to admit it to anyone who wasn’t her family.

 

  
\---------------

 

  
Clarke sighed when she looked at the time on her phone. **10.50pm.** That meant Lexa had been at her party for an hour and forty minutes already and still no call. Clarke locked her phone. **_I should have known,_** she dejectedly thought to herself before going into the bathroom to take a shower.

As water fell onto her head, Clarke couldn’t help but contemplate her life and feel as though she wasn’t going anywhere. Her eyebrows furrowed and she involuntarily let those dark thoughts cloud her mind.

Raven was a mechanic and she loved what she was doing. Octavia was a flight attendant and traveled a lot. The very few times she was home, she would never fail to visit her family. Lexa was a famous actress and Clarke, well she was just a barista with a hopeless dream to become an artist.

She punched the shower wall and frustrated tears rolled down her cheeks as she left the shower, wrapping a towel around herself. She checked her phone and saw she had two missed texts and a missed call.

She opened the last text first.

**Rae - 10.57pm:** _I’ll be home very late_

Her eyes then caught sight of Lexa’s name and she tapped her thumb down on it, opening the missed text. That was when she saw that the missed call was also from the actress.

_One missed call:_ **Lexa ✨**

**Lexa ✨ - 10.53pm:** _I’m sorry I couldn’t contact you before. Maybe you’re sleeping right now, I’m sorry if I woke you up_

Clarke quickly typed back another text through her blurry vision.

**Clarke ❤️- 11.05pm:** _I wasn’t sleeping._

Her breathing started coming in more quickly and ragged and she dropped the phone beside her on the floor, her hands moving up to cradle her own head.

 

  
<<<>>>

 

  
Lexa’s shoulders slumped with disappointment when the phone rang but didn’t get picked up. She typed out a text and locked her phone, dropping down on the couch.

“Why such a sad face?” Luna asked, taking a seat on the couch next to her cast mate.

“Clarke isn’t picking up” Lexa told her.

“Clarke?”

“The barista who was working when you and I went to get a coffee, remember?”

Luna nodded because she did remember the clumsy barista who managed to splash coffee all over her shirt. She frowned.

“I didn’t know you kept contact with her” she said in an unreadable tone.

Lexa shrugged, “She was very nice” she tried to explain.

Luna grabbed her hand, “Lex, I need to ask you something” she changed the topic.

Lexa nodded, “Sure, what is it?”

Luna took a deep breath and Lexa’s confusion grew, “I’ve wanted to ask you this for a while now and I guess I was just trying to find the right time but I realize there will never be a right time”

“Luna, what is it?” Lexa was growing worried now.

“Would you go on a date with me?” Luna blurted out, eyes filled with hope and apprehension.

Lexa’s mouth opened and closed several times, no sound slipping past her lips. Out of all the things she expected Luna to say, this definitely wasn’t one of them.

“What?”

Luna’s shoulders slumped and her eyes dropped to her shoes in unconcealed disappointment, “Forget it” she murmured, “I’m so stupid” she laughed humorlessly before turning on her heels and heading towards the door.

Lexa shook her head, “No, Lu” she tried to grab a hold of the girl’s wrist but she was already walking away, “Wait!”

She chased the girl outside and watched as she got into her car and drove away. She sighed and went back inside to quickly say goodbye to everyone before getting inside her car to follow after Luna.

She stopped the car in front of Luna’s apartment building and climbed the stairs two by two, causing a drop of sweat to trail down her forehead.

She knocked several times on the door but no one answered. She tried again and got the same unsuccessful result.

Her phone beeped with a message and she checked it, hoping to see one from Luna. She saw Clarke's name on the screen and remembered her promise to the girl to call her, “Fuck” she breathed out.

**Lexa✨- 8.05pm:** _I’m sorry, Clarke. I need to fix something right now but maybe I can call you right after so we can talk? Unless you would rather sleep…_

She frowned at the response she got.

**Clarke❤️- 8.06pm:** _Don’t bother. I wouldn't be very good company anyway_

She shook her head and quickly typed out a reply.

**Lexa✨- 8.06pm:** _What do you mean, Clarke?_

**Clarke❤️- 8.07pm:** _It doesn’t matter. I can deal with this on my own_

“No” Lexa said to herself. She tried to decide what to do. Should she call Clarke? Should she fix things with Luna first?

Her decision was made as soon as she read the next message from Clarke.

**Clarke❤️- 8.07pm:** _I’m not worth your time_

She called Clarke instantly. She waited and waited but got no response, “Come on, pick up the phone” she whispered to herself as she called the blonde once more.

Same result.

**Lexa✨- 8.09pm:** _Clarke...pick up the phone, please_

She waited a few minutes but nothing came.

**Lexa✨- 8.11pm:** _Please, I’m worried about you_

Lexa nearly dropped the phone when it rang and she quickly slid her thumb on the screen, “Clarke? Are you okay?”

She heard sniffling and heavy breathing from the other end and her worry increased.

“Please, talk to me” Lexa calmly said, “I’m here, you’re okay” she added.

_“L-Lexa…”_

“I’m right here” the actress murmured, “I got you, Clarke” she clutched the phone tightly in her hand, “Take slow breaths” she calmly instructed.

_“I c-...I can't”_ Clarke let out through panting breaths.

“Yes, you can, Clarke” Lexa argued, “Focus on my voice and on my voice only. Can you do that for me?”

Lexa heard a small whimper which broke her heart before hearing the quietest _yes_ through the phone.

“I’m right here, Clarke” Lexa quietly said, “You’re safe. Nothing can happen to you” she said, “Can you try and match your breathing with mine?”

_“I can-”_ more heavy breathing, _“try”_

It took a few minutes but eventually, Clarke’s breathing got under control, the sound of her sniffling being the only noise filling the silence between them.

“That’s it. You did great, Clarke” Lexa said, “Do you want to talk about it?”

She was met with silence on the other end and was about to say something else when a small voice spoke through the device.

_“I don't know”_

“You can tell me anything. You know that, right?” Lexa tentatively said.

Clarke sniffled and Lexa heard some movement, _“I know...thank you”_

“You have nothing to thank me for” Lexa sat down and let her head drop against the wall of the hallway.

_“You said you had something to fix”_ Clarke said, her voice slightly shaking.

“You’re more important right now” the actress earnestly replied, “I can fix it later” she spoke softly.

_“I just…”_ Clarke started speaking but her sentence was left unfinished.

“You just…?” Lexa gently probed for more. She heard a deep sigh and frowned in concern.

_“I feel like I’m not going anywhere in life. You all have amazing jobs and you know exactly what you want to do and I’m just...me”_ she choked out the words, her throat tight. _  
_

Lexa frowned, “I happen to think you are pretty damn amazing”

_“Thanks”_ Clarke said in a small voice, _“But I’m still a failure”_

“No, you’re not. I’m serious, Clarke. You have incredible talent and even if you don’t want to make a job out of it right now, it doesn’t diminish how incredibly beautiful your paintings are” Lexa insisted.

_“What if I keep just being a barista my whole life?”_ Clarke asked.

Lexa smiled slightly, “Do you not enjoy your job?”

_“I do...It’s just that it’s not very impressive to say that you're a barista”_

“It is when you are the best barista in town” Lexa countered.

Clarke laughed, _“Which I’m not”_

“Please, you totally are” Lexa said, “Do you know a lot of baristas who would splash coffee on their shirt to entertain the clients”

Clarke let out a loud laugh, _“I didn’t do it on purpose and certainly not for your own amusement”_

Lexa chuckled, the sound of Clarke's laughter warming her heart, “You’re extraordinary, Clarke” she said in a more serious tone, “And anyone would be lucky to have the life that you have and even half of your talent”

Clarke quietly hummed, _“Thank you, Lexa”_ she softly added, _“You really helped”_

“All I did was tell the truth” Lexa said.

_“You should go fix whatever it is you have to fix”_ the blonde said.

Lexa nodded because she knew she still had that to do, “Are you sure you’re okay?”

_“I’m sure”_ Clarke said and that wasn’t a lie, _“I’m going to head to bed now. Goodnight, Lexa”_

The actress smiled brightly, _“Goodnight, Clarke”_

After the call ended, Lexa sent a message to the girl, hoping to cheer her up a bit.

**Lexa✨- 8.27pm:** _You are beautiful inside and out and you are the most talented person I have ever met. Don’t ever doubt yourself because you have no reason to_

**Clarke❤️- 8.27pm:** _why are you so perfect?_

**Lexa✨- 8.28pm:** _I’m really not. And you deserve the best. Even if it is just as your friend, I wanna try to give you that_

**Clarke❤️- 8.28pm:** _I’m really glad you replied to my tweet_

Lexa grinned from ear to ear as she typed her reply.

**Lexa✨- 8.29:** _I’m really glad too :)_

She switched to Luna’s contact and typed a text.

**Lex - 9.29pm:** _Can we talk? Please_

It took a few minutes but eventually she got a reply from her cast mate.

**Luna - 9.33pm:** _Im at tge bar fdown Lincoln stree_

Lexa sighed when she realized the girl was drunk.

She got up and quickly got to the place. The actress entered the building and scowled at the strong smell of cigarette that reached her nostrils.

She spotted Luna sitting on a stool at the bar. The girl looked to be well past tipsy as she agitatedly discussed something with a guy who was paying way more attention to her cleavage than to what she was saying.

Lexa stopped and stood next to her, “Luna” she tried to catch her attention, “Why don’t we go home?”

Luna shook her head, “I don’t want to”

“Well hello, pretty thing” the guy Luna was speaking to said, looking up and down Lexa’s body.

“Get lost” Lexa snarled.

The man smirked and unashamedly groped Lexa’s ass, causing the actress to jump in surprise.

She grabbed his wrist tightly and twisted it behind his back before stepping closer, ignoring his small pained whimpers.

“Do not ever touch me again” she threatened lowly before releasing her hold on his arm.

The man grabbed his wrist and stumbled backwards, “You crazy bitch” he spat before running out of the bar.

Lexa looped Luna’s arm around her shoulders and started walking towards the exit, “Let’s get you home”

Luna was too far gone to even attempt to argue with the brunette. She let herself be carried to the exit by her cast mate.

 

  
**\---------------**

 

  
Lexa tugged the covers up Luna’s body, covering the girl’s body. She started walking away but a hand stopped her.

Luna was looking up at her with an unreadable expression, “Why don’t you want me?” the girl asked in a voice filled with hurt.

Lexa sighed, “I don’t think we should talk about this right now” she said.

“Because you don’t want to talk about it” Luna dejectedly said.

“Because you’re not sober” Lexa corrected, “We’ll talk about this in the morning if you want but for now you should go to sleep”

Luna stared at her for a few more seconds before closing her eyes, burying herself in the warmth of the covers.

Lexa quietly left the bedroom and closed the door behind her before taking place on the couch, grabbing a blanket to keep her warm during the night.

 

  
\--------------

 

  
Lexa was woken when bright light peeked through the curtains of the glass doors in Luna’s living room. She rubbed her eyes and slowly sat up on the couch, grunting at the soreness of her muscles.

A delicious smell reached her senses and she looked around, spotting Luna in the kitchen, making pancakes, “Good morning” she let out in a hoarse voice.

Luna jumped in surprise at the sound of Lexa’s voice and she barely glanced at the brunette before focusing back on the cooking pancakes.

Lexa decided to let her cook in peace, figuring they would have time to talk later. Luna dropped a few pancakes on a plate and dropped it on the coffee table next to the couch, “Here”

Lexa smiled shyly, feeling like she was currently walking on eggshells with her cast mate, “Thank you”

Luna retreated back into the kitchen and closed the door behind her. Lexa sighed with disappointment when the girl stayed in there afterwards, seemingly avoiding the brunette as much as possible.

Lexa finished her meal fairly quickly and she knocked on the door of the kitchen, plate and cutlery in hand.

The door was opened and Lexa stepped inside. Luna’s back was facing her as she set the plates into the dishwasher, “We need to talk”

Luna shook her head and placed her own plate in the dishwasher, “We don’t” she argued, “You made yourself pretty clear last night”

“Luna” Lexa tried to reach out but the other girl yanked her arm away from Lexa, “Come on, just listen to me”

“You don’t need to do this” Luna said, dropping a glass on the counter before turning to face Lexa, “I’m not wasted anymore. You can go back home with a clear conscience”

Lexa frowned, “This isn't what this is about. Lu, I’m here because I’m your friend”

Luna laughed humorlessly, “Yeah, you’re my friend” she repeated the word with a bitter tone.

“I’m sorry I can’t be what you want me to be but I’ll always be here for you” Lexa said, stepping closer.

Luna shook her head, “I don’t even know why I ever thought you would say yes” she rolled her eyes at herself, “You’re not even attracted to women”

Lexa wanted to correct her so badly but her fears and insecurities surged up and caused the words to die in her throat. She opened her mouth and closed it a few times, no sound escaping.

Luna’s eyes were fleeing and focused on anything but Lexa as she put the rest of the dishes in the dishwasher, “You can go” she quietly said.

Lexa shook her head, “I don’t want to lose our friendship over this” she hurried to say, “This doesn’t have to change anything”

“But it does!” Luna said, “Because now I know I don’t stand a chance with you. I don’t think I can watch you be with other people while I keep being simply your friend”

“Lu…” Lexa grabbed her hand, “Please, don’t” she pleaded, “I don’t love you in the way you want me to but I do love you” she confessed, “I really do and I don’t want to lose you”

Luna wiped at a tear on her face, “I don’t know what to think right now, I’m sorry”

Lexa nodded, accepting the answer. She didn’t have much of a choice anyway, “Even if it isn’t me, anyone would be lucky to be with you” she told Luna.

The other girl nodded and walked Lexa to the exit, “I’m sorry for ruining last night” Luna apologized.

“You didn’t” Lexa countered.

Luna nodded and quickly said bye to her castmate before closing the door, leaning her forehead against it as she let out a deep sigh.

 

  
\---------------

 

  
_“Does she know you’re into women?”_ Clarke asked after Lexa finished recounting to the blonde what happened earlier with Luna.

Lexa sighed, “No...no, she doesn't”

_“So you really never told anyone except for your siblings?”_

“I already feel bad about it, please don’t”

_“I wasn’t asking this in a judgmental way”_ Clarke assured her, _“But if you don’t want to answer, it’s okay”_

Lexa looked down at her hand which was resting in her lap, “I don't know how to do this” she admitted.

_“Come out?”_

Lexa nodded before she realized Clarke couldn’t see her, “Yeah...It had been easy with Anya and Aden because they kind of found out without me having to tell them”

_“And I already knew it because of your twitter handle”_ Clarke completed.

“Yes” Lexa confirmed, “I’ve never actually had to come out to someone with actual words and I’m scared to try”

_“Listen, there is no pressure at all for you to come out. It takes as long as it takes and do not worry about it in advance”_ Clarke spoke softly, _“When the time is right, you’ll know”_

“Thank you, Clarke” Lexa smiled.

_“No problem. That’s the least I can do after what you did for me last night. Thanks a lot for that, by the way”_

“Are you feeling better?” Lexa asked, a hint of concerning her voice.

_“I think so...I still have the feeling that I’m not going anywhere in life but...I feel okay, I guess”_

“You’re amazing, Clarke” Lexa said, not liking to see the blonde talk lowly of herself, “I’ll repeat it a thousand times if I have to”

_“You’re really sweet, thank you”_

“Anytime” Lexa grinned, “I also have some news” she excitedly started.

_“Yeah? What is it?”_

Lexa waited a few seconds in silence to create some suspense.

Clarke whined, _“Come on, tell me”_

Lexa chuckled and she grinned as she spoke her next words, “I will be back in New York in three weeks” she broke the news to the blonde.

She heard a squeal from the other end of the line and her smile widened.

_“Really?”_

“Really” Lexa confirmed.

_“This is so amazing! I can’t wait”_ Clarke said with utmost enthusiasm.

“Me neither” Lexa smiled brightly. Something popped into her mind, “You haven’t been harassed by any paparazzi, have you?”

_“Not that I know of”_ Clarke replied, _“I don’t think they know where I live”_

“Okay, good” Lexa was happy about that information, “I’m sorry to drag you into the mess that all of this is”

Clarke chuckled, _“Stop apologizing. I want to be your friend, no matter what the cons are”_

Lexa felt warmth spread through her chest at those words and she couldn’t stop the blush that took over her cheeks.

_“Lexa?”_ Clarke said after the brunette had been quiet for a bit too long.

“Hm? Sorry, I spaced out” she rubbed her neck, “By the way, I’m not coming to New York for work so I’ll have lots of free time”

_“Yeah? Then I might be able to convince you into spending that time with me”_

“I won’t need any convincing” Lexa said.

_“Stop being so damn smooth, goddammit”_

Lexa laughed, “I won't apologize for it” she then said, eyes bright.

_“I’m not asking you to”_ Clarke’s voice had taken on a lower, more seductive tone and Lexa would be lying if she said it didn’t do things to her.

She swallowed down and tried to keep her mind from running wild.

_“Raven is calling for me”_ Clarke broke the heavy silence, _“I gotta go, talk later?”_

“Of course” Lexa smiled and hung up.

The actress slumped on the couch and smiled to herself. She felt truly happy and she knew it had everything to do with the beautiful girl with soft blonde hair and bright blue eyes.

_**Three weeks,** _ she said in her mind, her lips pulled into a dreamy smile at the prospect of holding Clarke in her arms once more, of hearing her laugh in person once again, of seeing how blue eyes get much more expressive when the blonde speaks about something she's passionate about. **_Three weeks,_ ** she repeated to herself.

 

 


	8. Chapter 8

 

 

“Two weeks” Clarke said into the phone as soon as she accepted the call.

She heard the hearty sound of Lexa’s laugh and her smile grew, _“Two weeks”_ the actress repeated.

“I can come pick you up at the airport if you want” the blonde offered.

_“Are you sure this isn’t too risky? Your name has already been out there”_

“I haven’t had any issues with the press so far” Clarke shrugged.

_“Because the photos have been deleted but nothing tells us we'll be able to do damage control the next time we are seen together”_

Clarke sighed dejectedly, “But I really want to come pick you up at the airport”

_"How about I visit you right after I leave the airport?”_

Clarke smiled, “Yeah, okay” she agreed.

 _“I gotta go now”_ Lexa said apologetically.

“You didn’t call for a reason?” Clarke asked.

_“I just wanted to hear your voice”_

Clarke blushed and smiled down at her feet, “Bye, Lexa” she quietly said.

_“Bye, Clarke”_

The blonde tried, to no avail, to contain the huge smile threatening to split her face. She grabbed her keys and her bag, getting ready to leave the apartment. After making sure all the lights were off, she locked the door behind her and left the apartment building to head to her workplace.

She could only make one step before the flash of a camera blinded her, quickly followed by another flash, then another, “What the…?” she trailed off.

A couple paparazzi were standing a few feet away from her, cameras in hand, “How do you know Lexa Woods?” one of them asked.

She covered her face and kept walking until she reached her car, trying to keep her face hidden from the camera. Once she was safely into her car, she pulled out of the parking lot, checking into her rearview mirror to make sure the paparazzi weren’t behind the car. One more flash got her to shield her face and then she was driving away. She let out a breath of relief as she distanced herself from the parking lot.

“How did they get my address?” she wondered aloud. **_So much for keeping my face out of the tabloids,_** she then thought to herself.

She pulled up and called Lexa, the call going straight to voicemail. She sighed and called Raven instead.

 _“Yo, Griff”_ the girl greeted her, _“What’s up?”_

Clarke sighed, “The paparazzi have found our address” she informed Raven.

 _“Shit”_ the other girl said, knowing this wasn’t a good thing, _“So what now?”_

Clarke shrugged, “There isn't much we can do except wait for them to get bored of me and find some other thing to worry about”

_“Does Lexa know about this? What did she tell you?”_

“Her phone is off. My call went straight to voicemail” Raven started giggling and Clarke frowned, “What’s so funny?”

_“I keep forgetting that you got Lexa’s phone number. This is so dope. Could you give it to me?”_

“So you can harass her with millions of texts and calls? No way” Clarke refused.

 _“You’re no fun”_ Raven complained, _“Wait, are the paparazzi still there? Cause I’m heading back home right now”_

Clarke frowned, “I don’t think so. They probably left after I did”

 _“Thanks for the heads up”_ Raven said before hanging up.

Clarke tried calling Lexa once more but again, it went to voicemail. She sighed and started back the car.

 

 

\--------------

 

 

Lexa walked cautiously towards Luna when she saw the girl standing on the opposite side of the room. During the past week, things had been awkward and they had both avoided speaking of the girl's confession at the party.

“Lu?” she called her name and deflated when she wasn’t greeted by the smile she had gotten used to.

“Oh hey, Lexa” the girl distractedly said before her gaze fell back down to her phone.

The brunette sighed and lifted a hand with the intention to rest it on Luna’s forearm. She changed her mind when she saw the pointed look the other girl was giving her raised hand, “Lu, can we talk?”

“We already did that” the other girl dryly replied, “Last week”

Lexa’s shoulders slumped, “I miss you”

“I’m right here” Luna countered.

“You’re not” Lexa argued, “Not really anyway…” she chanced a glance at Luna and saw a flash of concern in her eyes before it was replaced by harshness.

“I don’t owe you anything”

Lexa took a step back, “I know...I’m not saying you do” she quietly said.

Luna rubbed her face with her hand, “I’m sorry...That was uncalled for” she apologized, “I just don’t know how to act around you, Lexa”

“We can just act like before” Lexa tried, “This doesn’t have to change anything. You’re still my friend”

Luna looked down, “Maybe I just need a little more time” she said.

Lexa nodded, “Okay” she quietly said, “I’m sorry I can’t give you what you want” she apologized before turning on her heels to exit the building.

 

 

\------------

 

 

“You look happier lately” Bellamy commented as he watched Clarke prepare a coffee for a customer.

Clarke grinned and placed the order on the counter before accepting the money and giving back the change, “Well, I _am_ happier” she said after wishing a good afternoon to the customer.

“Does this have anything to do with that famous actress you’re friends with?”

“Raven told you about that?”

“Who else?” Bellamy grinned, “So, is that why?”

Clarke stayed silent for a few seconds before nodding, “Yeah” she admitted, “She’s great”

He patted her shoulder, “I’m happy for you” he told her with a bright smile, “You should introduce her to us next time she comes here”

Clarke hesitated, “I don’t know…”

He frowned, “Why not?”

She sighed, “Because she’s famous and it's not like she can just hang out with whoever she wants whenever she wants”

“We wouldn’t treat her any differently” Bellamy squeezed her shoulder, “Well, except maybe Raven but she already met her, right?”

“I know” Clarke sent him a thankful smile, “I just don’t want her to feel uncomfortable” she explained.

He nodded, “I get it. There's no pressure. If she doesn’t want to, it’s fine” he told his friend, “I’m just thankful that you got someone like her”

Clarke smiled to herself, “I’m lucky to have her” she quietly said.

Niylah walked into the shop and Bellamy pulled his apron over his head, “Well, my job here is done” he smiled.

“You weren’t doing shit anyway” Clarke said with a teasing smile.

He laughed, “See you soon, princess” he winked at Clarke before leaving.

Niylah walked behind the counter and put on her apron, “Hey” she gave Clarke a shy smile.

The blonde looked up and smiled briefly, “Hey” she crouched down to retrieve a water bottle and took a sip of it.

“How was your weekend?” Niylah asked, attempting to keep the conversation flowing.

As for Clarke, she would have been content with spending the shift in silence but she replied out of politeness, “It was nice” she reminisced with a smile, “I talked a lot with Le-, um, Alexandria” she corrected herself.

Niylah frowned, “With who?”

Clarke took a sip of her water and put the cap back on it, “The girl we talked about a couple months ago”

“The one from twitter?” Niylah’s eyebrows furrowed, “You’re still talking to her?” she scowled.

Clarke was confused, “...Yes? Why wouldn’t I be?” she asked.

Niylah shrugged, “I don’t know” she said but her tone indicated otherwise, “I just didn’t think this kind of thing could last this long”

Clarke didn’t like the tone of her voice, “What is that supposed to mean?”

Niylah opened her mouth then closed it, “Nothing” she backtracked, aware that she was digging herself a hole with her comments which she could only put on the account of jealousy.

“No, say what you wanted to say” Clarke insisted, crossing her arms in front of her chest.

“I don’t think internet friends can be considered real friends” Niylah said, “But it’s just my opinion”

“Your opinion sucks” Clarke harshly said before falling silent. She put on a pretend smile when a new customer entered the shop, “Hi, what can I get you?” She felt Niylah’s eyes on her as she worked and she ignored it, focusing on her task instead, “Stop staring at me” she quietly said after handing her coffee to the customer and watching them sit at a table in the back.

“I didn’t mean to upset you” Niylah said.

“Well, you did” Clarke said, “What is your problem anyway? Everytime I tell you something about Lex- _Alexandria_ ,” she mentally scolded herself for her almost slip up, “you start criticizing my friendship with her”

Niylah shook her head, “I’m not criticizing it” she denied with a blush.

“Then what's the problem?”

“You pay more attention to her than to me and I’m right here! I can give you what she can’t!” Niylah exploded but kept her voice down as to not be heard by customers.

Clarke took a step back and she frowned, “What?” the words slipped past her lips so quietly that it was almost inaudible.

“Forget it” Niylah said, turning her back to her.

Clarke shook her head and made sure there were no new customers before she pulled Niylah into the back room. She placed a finger on Niylah’s chest, “You have no right to act jealous like that” she accused, “We’re not together”

The other girl looked down, “I know” she quietly said, “But we could be” she added with a hopeful smile.

Clarke sighed, “Look, what we did...it was a one-time thing” she said, “We agreed on that”

About a year ago, at a staff party, the two girls had ended up hooking up together, both agreeing that it was purely platonic and that neither of them were looking for anything more.

“But it was nice” Niylah argued, “Maybe if you gave me a chance-”

“It was over a year ago” Clarke told her, “And I thought we agreed that we both weren’t looking for a relationship”

“I lied” Niylah admitted.

Clarke threw her arms in the air, “What?” she said, “I’m sorry if I ever made you think that it would be more than that but it was just sex”

The ring of the bell interrupted them and Clarke left the back room with a frustrated sigh. She really didn’t need to add this on her plate.

Niylah avoided her gaze for the rest of their shift and maybe it was for the best.

 

 

\--------------

 

 

Clarke jumped when the flash of a camera blinded her. She spotted two paparazzi standing next to the door of her apartment building. They were the same people as earlier. She hid her face, “Go away or I’ll call the police for harassment” she threatened.

The two men took a few more pictures before running off. She sighed and pushed the door of the building to step inside. She pulled out her phone and called Lexa again as she climbed the stairs to her apartment, praying for the actress to pick up. It was at least ringing this time, which was a good thing.

 _“Clarke?”_ Lexa’s voice reached her ears, _“Is everything alright?”_

“Yeah, well, kind of”

_“Kind of? What does that mean?”_

“The pictures have been around for too long and some paparazzi have found my address. God knows how”

There was silence coming from the other end of the line.

“Lexa?”

 _“I...I’m sorry”_ Lexa apologized, _“This is all my fault. I have to fix this. I’m so sorry”_

“Lexa, calm down” Clarke said, “This isn’t your fault. Besides, it’s not that bad. They’ll grow tired eventually”

_“Clarke...you didn’t ask for your a_ _ddress_ _to be made public”_

“Well, it is, and I’ll deal with it” Clarke shrugged, “It’s okay” she said, “Look at the bright side. Now I can come pick you up at the airport when you visit”

_“And have more people harass you in your home? No way”_

“They weren’t harassing me” Clarke rolled her eyes, “Just a bit invasive but it’s nothing I can’t handle”

 _“Clarke, I don’t want you to be dragged into the madness that is the world of media”_ Lexa sighed.

“I will be eventually if we keep being friends” Clarke reasoned, “Now or later, it doesn’t change much”

_“Then you should stop being my friend”_

Clarke erupted in laughter.

“Sorry but that was very funny. I’m not about to do that” Clarke said, shaking her head at the brunette's words, “Unless you want to get rid of me already” uncertainty seeped into her voice.

 _“Never”_ Lexa earnestly replied.

“Then it’s settled” Clarke grinned, “Also, threatening to call the cops seems to work awfully well to chase paparazzi away” she chuckled.

Lexa laughed, _“I might start doing that”_

Clarke smiled, “I should let you go back to whatever you were busy with before I called”

_“I’d much rather talk to you”_

**_Here comes the fluttering feeling again_** , Clarke thought to herself. She grinned like an idiot as she replied, “Go do your job”

Lexa groaned, _“Alright”_ she reluctantly agreed, _“And Clarke?”_

“Yes?”

_“You’ll tell me if anything happens, right? I need to know”_

“I’ll tell you” Clarke assured her, “Get ready for your interview now” she added.

_“How did you know I had an interview?”_

“You tweeted about it”

_“Stalking me?”_

“I would never”

Lexa laughed and Clarke smiled at the sound, _“Will you watch the interview?”_

Clarke turned the tv on, “Already watching” she said.

_“_ _You turned on your tv just now_ _, didn’t you?”_

“Exactly”

Lexa laughed again and Clarke relished in the sound, the brunette's laugh being her third favorite thing about the woman. Her second favorite thing was her shitty yet adorable sense of humor and her favorite thing was her bright, green eyes.

 _“I’m on in twenty minutes”_ Lexa said.

“I can’t wait to see your pretty face” Clarke replied, switching the channels until she found the right one.

_“Clarke?”_

The blonde hummed.

_“I can’t wait to be back in New York”_

“It’s a beautiful city” Clarke smirked as she said the words.

 _“You know I didn’t mean that because of the city”_ Lexa accused, chuckling.

“I can’t wait to have you back here either”

 

 

\----------------

 

 

Anya appeared behind her, “Alright so this interview actually has nothing to do with the show and is more about your career in general” she explained.

Lexa nodded along to her words while someone put a small cubic-shaped mic on her dress.

“They have been trying to get you on the show for awhile so they’re very excited but don't hesitate to stop them if they step too far into personal territory”

Lexa nodded.

“They’ll go live in five minutes” Anya finished. She raised her gaze from the clipboard she was holding and smiled, her eyes softening, “You look great, sis”

Lexa mirrored her smile, “Thanks, An”

Her sister nodded at her and left. Lexa took a deep breath and peeked through the curtains to see a small audience and the host getting ready.

As predicted, the show started a few minutes later and she walked on the set with a bright smile, waving at the audience before taking a seat in front of the host’s desk.

 

 

\-----------------

 

 

Clarke brought back some snacks just as the show started. Lexa’s name was announced and the blonde's jaw went slack when she saw the actress’ outfit.

Lexa was wearing a beautiful, dark red knee-length dress, complemented with a black belt and high heels. She looked breathtaking.

 _“Still no one in sight?”_ the interviewer asked when they were half an hour into the interview.

Clarke rolled her eyes at the typical question. Why were people so interested in celebrities’ love lives?

She saw Lexa angle her head so that she was looking right into the camera, _“There might be someone”_ the actress said.

Clarke's heart rate increased. It felt as though Lexa was looking right at her when she spoke. The interview resumed but the flutter in her stomach didn’t disappear.

As she watched the actress reply to question after question, a feeling grew inside Clarke and she identified it as longing. Longing to see the actress again, to speak with her face to face, to take her in her arms, to kiss those lips- **_wait, what?_**

Clarke blushed at her train of thoughts and she sunk lower into the couch while keeping her eyes on the tv screen, not wanting to miss a second of it.

She tried to chase away images of Lexa’s plump lips but each time she tried, the camera focused on the brunette’s face and Clarke had to keep her eyes from zooming in on that specific physical feature of the actress.

 ** _I have it bad,_** she told herself, no longer able to deny the obvious pull she felt towards the actress.

Gone were her doubts about whether or not she was ready to jump into something with Lexa. Gone were her worries about being hurt again because if there was someone she trusted in this world to preserve her heart, it was Lexa.

 

 

\----------------

 

 

“One week” Clarke whispered into the phone. It was pretty late where she was but she didn’t want to skip their daily phone call, “It’s too long”

 

 

<<<>>> 

 

 

Lexa smiled at the sound of the blonde's voice, “I’ll be there sooner than you think”

_“Can’t you take a plane tomorrow?”_

Lexa laughed, “I wish but I have to stay until at least Friday. The producers need me here in case they need to record a few more lines”

 _“One week it is, then”_ Clarke said, sighing.

“I promise that your apartment will be the first place I visit once I’m there”

_“No need. I’ll be at the airport”_

“Clarke, we talked about this” Lexa said, her lips pulled downward, “Paparazzi have just stopped lurking around your apartment…I don’t want them to have a reason to come back”

 _“I don’t want to hide the fact that you’re my friend”_ Clarke frowned, _“Are you ashamed to be my friend?”_ she asked, hurt lacing her voice.

Lexa’s eyes widened, “What? Of course not!” she hurried to say, “Clarke, you’re amazing. I’m proud to be your friend”

_“Sorry, I’m being irrational”_

Lexa smiled, “You’re allowed to have doubts” she softly said.

_“Yeah but you’ve proven to me_ _time_ _and_ _time_ _again how serious you_ _are_ _about our friendship”_

“And I’ll keep proving it to you if I have to” the brunette shrugged, “I have a request” she said after a few seconds.

_“Anything”_

“Could we go back to that restaurant we went to the first time I came here? It was really good”

Clarke laughed, _“If that’s all it takes to make you happy”_

“Being with you is all it takes to make me happy” Lexa said with complete honesty.

 _“You...I don't know what to respond to that”_ Clarke admitted.

Lexa smiled, “You don’t need to say anything. I just wanted you to know”

_“You can’t see but I’m blushing right now”_

Lexa smiled at Clarke’s honesty, “I bet you look very cute” she said.

 _“Not helping”_ Clarke mumbled and it drew a laugh from Lexa.

Lexa heard some shuffling and then a muffled voice could be heard. It wasn’t Clarke’s so it could only be-

_“YOU’RE SPEAKING WITH LEXA WOODS?!”_

**_Raven,_** Lexa finished her train of thoughts with an amused smile.

 _"No, Raven-”_ Clarke said, _“Give the phone back, dammit”_

 _“HELLO!!”_ Raven yelled through the phone.

Lexa pulled the device away from her ear and chuckled a bit, putting it on speaker before placing the phone on a table, “Hello, Raven. No need to yell. I can hear you just fine”

_“Holy shit. I can’t believe I’m having a phone call with Lexa Woods”_

_“Raven, I swear to God, if you don't hand me the phone back-”_

_“I just saw the new episode of Fear the Walking Dead and you looked hot as fuck, holy shit”_ Raven ignored her best friend’s attempts to get the phone back.

Lexa laughed, “Thanks, I guess” she said.

 _“Next week you better hang out with us”_ Raven added, _“Cause last time Clarke stole you all for herself and it’s not fair”_

Lexa laughed, “Clarke didn’t really steal me” she said, “I wanted to spend time with her”

 _“Please, that is so gay”_ Raven commented.

Lexa blushed, “It’s not like that”

 _“It’s not?”_ Clarke said in a teasing voice.

Lexa blushed harder and started stuttering, “Oh, I mean, yes” she cleared her throat, “no?...maybe?”

She heard the bright sound of Clarke's laughter and laughed nervously.

 _“Very smooth, Woods”_ Raven said, _“You’re beautiful but your flirting game is weak as fuck”_

Lexa gasped, “That’s not true” she denied, her cheeks heating up, “I’ll have you know I’m very good at flirting”

_“Oh yeah?”_

“Yup” Lexa nodded, “Just ask Clarke”

 _“Alright, Clarke. Tell us”_ Raven said.

 _“She...she’s doing pretty good”_ the blonde said after a few seconds of hesitation.

Lexa grinned, “Ha! See?”

 _“I can’t believe I’m speaking with Lexa Woods”_ Raven repeated.

Lexa laughed, “Yeah, you said that already”

 _“Raven give me the phone”_ Clarke said, probably fighting with Raven over the phone if the shuffling noises are anything to go by.

“Clarke?”

 _“Sorry about her”_ the blonde apologized, _“She can be a bit much to handle”_

“She’s fun” Lexa said.

_“If you say so”_

“Did you kick her out of her own apartment?” Lexa asked, not hearing the other girl’s voice.

 _“Yes”_ Clarke simply answered.

Lexa laughed, “I kinda feel bad for her”

_“You shouldn't. She deserved that. And I’ll let her back in after our call”_

The actress smiled, “It’s nice to hear your voice” she confessed.

 _“You hear it everyday”_ Clarke pointed out.

“Still”

It was silent for a few seconds.

 _“It’s getting late”_ Clarke said, _“I should head to sleep”_

Lexa’s eyes widened when she saw that it was around ten here, meaning it was one in the morning in New York.

“Sorry, I didn't mean to hold you up for that long”

 _“It’s okay”_ Clarke reassured her, _“I wanted to hear your voice too”_

Lexa blushed, “Yeah?”

_“Yeah”_

Lexa’s smile grew impossibly wide and no matter how much she tried to control it, she couldn’t help the warm feeling forming in her chest.

“I’ll let you sleep then” she softly said, “Thank you for putting up with me and my crazy lifestyle” she added.

 _“Will you stop saying this as if it’s a bad thing?”_ Clarke said, the smile obvious in her voice, _“I like you for who you are and your ‘lifestyle’ played a huge role in shaping you into the wonderful woman you are today”_

Lexa nodded and felt a stinging feeling in her eyes where a layer of tears was forming, “Thank you”

 _“You’re welcome”_ Clarke's gentle voice came through the phone.

“Have a goodnight, Clarke” Lexa murmured into the phone.

_“You too, Lexa”_

The brunette hung up and sighed contentedly, falling back onto the bed. Her phone buzzed with a new message.

**Clarke  - 10.24pm:** _You’re amazing. Don’t ever, ever doubt that_

She wiped at the single tear which escaped her eye and she typed a reply through her blurry vision due to tears.

**Lexa  - 10.25pm:** _Thank you so much for being my friend_

**Clarke  - 10.25pm:** _It’s really not much of a sacrifice ;)_

Lexa laughed and locked her phone before placing it into the drawer of her nightstand. She buried herself in the sheets and stared at the ceiling with a wide, bright smile.

 

 

\-----------------

 

 

 _“One day”_ Lexa said.

Clarke grinned and started fidgeting on her seat at the dinner table, “I’m nervous” she admitted.

_“Why?”_

She shrugged, “I don’t know. The anticipation is killing me”

 _“Me too”_ Lexa reciprocated, _“My plane will arrive there tomorrow around ten in the morning, your time”_ she informed the blonde.

Clarke bounced on her seat excitedly, “So you’ll be here around noon?”

 _“Yes”_ Lexa smiled, _“I’ll go as fast as possible”_

“How long are you staying?”

_“A week”_

Clarke grinned. A week was a long time and it gave them the chance to do a lot of things. Especially since Lexa was free of any obligations.

“I’ll make it the best week of your life, Woods”

_“I can’t wait”_

Raven entered the apartment and dropped her keys on the kitchen counter, “Who are you talking to?” she asked, grabbing a plate from the cupboard.

“No one”

 _“No one?”_ Lexa teasingly repeated.

Raven squinted her eyes, “You’re speaking to Lexa” she accused, pointing a finger at the blonde, “Give me that phone”

“Never” Clarke said, “You almost destroyed her hearing last time”

“I did not” Raven argued.

 _“She kinda did”_ Lexa interjected.

Clarke chuckled and she got up to go into her bedroom, away from prying ears.

“Clarke!” Raven shouted, “Come back”

“Later” the blonde smirked, “Dinner is in the oven” she winked before disappearing into her bedroom.

_“So you’re just going to leave her alone every time I call?”_

“I’m doing you a favor” Clarke retorted, “She has no filter at all. Besides, she’ll see you tomorrow so it’s whatever”

_“Will you actually let her in once I’m there?”_

“Very funny” Clarke deadpanned, “I can’t keep her out forever...unfortunately” she added after a few seconds.

_“I’m sure I can manage spending a few hours with her”_

“Don’t be so confident” Clarke said, “Lots of people have tried and failed in that mission”

_“Now you’re exaggerating”_

“Only a little”

 _“I have to pack my bags”_ Lexa said, _“I…”_ she started saying something but didn’t end up speaking the words aloud.

Clarke wanted to ask about it but refrained from doing so. She simply nodded, “It’s crazy to think that when I wake up tomorrow, you’ll be on your way to New York”

 _“Yeah...It’ll be great”_ Lexa’s excited voice came through the phone, _“I should really hang up now”_

Clarke sighed, “Fine” she said, “But no matter how tired you are tomorrow, you are going on a tour of the city with me”

 _“I wouldn't miss it for the world”_ Lexa said, _“See you tomorrow, Clarke”_

“See you tomorrow” the blonde grinned from ear to ear when she pressed the end call button.

She walked out of her bedroom, a happy bounce in her steps and she plopped down on a chair at the dining table.

“It’s good to see you like that” Raven commented.

“Like what?”

“Happy” the mechanic said, “You never smiled like that when you were with Finn”

Clarke rolled her eyes at the mention of the man, “That’s because Finn is an asshole” she said, “And I’m not dating Lexa” she added as an afterthought.

“Not yet” Raven said with a smirk.

Clarke didn't even bother arguing with that because saying she didn’t want more with the actress would be a lie. She could only hope it wasn’t too late and the actress would still want to give it a chance.

 

 

\--------------

 

 

Anya shook her head at her sister’s excitement, “You’re already so whipped for her, it’s ridiculous” she smirked.

“You know what? I’m not even going to deny it” Lexa said, jumping on her heels as she walked through the airport.

“How are you gonna stay still during the whole duration of the flight if you’re already this fidgety?”

“I won’t stay still” Lexa said, grinning.

Anya sighed, “This is gonna be the worst flight I’ve ever been on”

Lexa raised an eyebrow, “Worse than that time you got stuck behind a crying baby and in front of a kid who wouldn’t stop kicking your seat?” she smiled amusedly.

“Okay, this is gonna be the second worst flight I’ve ever been on” Anya relented.

“Wait, worse than the time an old dude fell asleep on your shoulder?”

“Please, why don’t you remind me that the world hates me and always makes sure I have terrible flight experiences?”

Lexa laughed.

Anya pointed an accusing finger towards the brunette, “I blame you for refusing to buy a private plane”

The actress smiled, “Sorry” she said when she almost bumped into a woman who was walking in the opposite direction.

“Watch where you’re going” the middle aged woman rudely said as she pushed her way past them.

“Rude” Lexa muttered under her breath but she was set on not letting anything ruin her good mood.

Anya scowled at the retreating figure of the woman, “The audacity” she said, her eyes shooting daggers.

“Hurry up!” Lexa shouted from a few feet further, “We’re almost there”

Anya rolled her eyes, “You are aware that we have at least two hours to kill before the plane takes off, right?”

“Yeah and I want to get there soon so I can at least talk to her a little before she goes to sleep. It’s at least midnight over there”

“Whipped” Anya mumbled.

“Shut the fuck up” Lexa swatted her shoulder, her lips pulled into a bright smile.

 

 

\---------------

 

 

 **Lexa - 12.35am:** _I’m at the gate. Two hours to go before my flight takes off. Can’t wait to see you again_ :)

 **Clarke - 12.35am:** _Yasss! Can’t wait_ :) _Have a safe flight!_

The blonde smiled down at her phone, waiting not so patiently for a reply. Her smile widened when she read the text that popped up on her screen.

**Lexa - 12.36am:** _Here is a shitty joke to brighten your night: How many lips do flowers have?_

Clarke laughed in anticipation of what Lexa's joke could possibly be.

**Clarke - 12.36am:** _Tell me_

**Lexa - 12.37am:** _Two lips (because of tulips, get it?)_

Clarke laughed at the mental image of Lexa grinning down at her phone as she typed her joke, probably very proud of herself. The visual was absolutely adorable.

**Clarke - 12.37am:** _I can’t believe you_

**Lexa - 12.38am:** _Oh come on! It was funny! It’s okay to admit it_

Clarke giggled and typed down a message. She felt tired but talking with Lexa was more appealing to her right now than sleep, no matter how much she needed the latter.

**Clarke - 12.38am:** _I might have laughed a tiny little bit_

**Lexa - 12.38am:** _Yesss_

Clarke buried herself in her covers and held her phone close. She couldn’t stop the huge grin that split her lips.

**Clarke - 12.39am:** _You’re such a child sometimes. I can’t believe the world's most famous actress is a child_

**Lexa - 12.39am:** _Firstly, I’m not the most famous actress in the world. Secondly, you like me, Griffin. Don’t try to deny it_

**Clarke - 12.40am:** _I’m not so sure anymore…_

She felt a rush of various feelings, including adrenaline and happiness, as she stared at the three small dots on the screen.

**Lexa - 12.40am:** _You hurt my feelings when you say things like that_

**Clarke - 12.41am:** _I’m sure your feelings are fine, you big baby_

**Lexa - 12.41am:** _I should let you go to sleep or you’ll be exhausted tomorrow_

**Clarke - 12.41am:** _Trying to get rid of me already?_

**Lexa - 12.42am:** _As if_

Clarke smiled.

**Clarke - 12.42am:** _You’re right, tho. I should sleep a little. I’ll see you tomorrow_

She frowned when she got a call from the actress, “Yes?”

_“I just wanted to say goodnight”_

Clarke’s lips split into a enormous grin, her heart jumping in her chest, “It’s very sweet”

_“I do my best”_

Lexa was making it really hard for Clarke to resist the urge to blurt out her feelings for the brunette.

“We’ll see each other tomorrow” she whispered, “This is gonna be-” her words were cut off by a loud yawn, “great” she finished.

Lexa chuckled, _“You’re tired”_ she stated.

“How did you guess?” Clarke said, sarcasm seeping into her voice.

 _“The big yawn you just let out”_ Lexa answered seriously.

“I know, Lexa” Clarke rolled her eyes and giggled, “I was being sarcastic”

_“Oh”_

“That’s cute” Clarke laughed quietly.

 _“I’m not very good at catching onto those things”_ Lexa laughed nervously.

“You’re doing fine” Clarke said, yawning again.

 _“Go to sleep”_ the actress whispered.

Clarke hummed and closed her eyes, “Okay” she whispered but made no move to hang up, “Could you stay until I fall asleep?”

 _“Of course”_ Lexa said, all but whispering the words, _“Sleep tight”_

_< <<>>> _

Lexa stayed on the phone as promised and she listened as Clarke’s breathing evened out before a light snoring _-which she found adorable-_ reached her ears.

She didn't hang up just yet. She kept the phone close to her ear and listened to the small sounds Clarke was letting out in her sleep.

After a couple minutes, she reluctantly tore the phone away from her ear and pressed the end call button.

 ** _Soon,_** she told herself. Soon she would be with Clarke again. She couldn’t believe how attached she already was to the girl.

Anya appeared in her line of vision, holding a pizza box, “I figured since we’re going to be here for the next hour and a half, we might as well eat something good”

Lexa groaned, “Oh my God, I love you”

“Don’t I know it” Anya winked and she sat next to her sister, opening the pizza box, a delicious smell emanating from it.

Lexa grabbed a piece and shoved it in her mouth, humming at the taste, “This is what Heaven would feel like”

Anya smiled, “Are you excited to go back to New York?”

“Are you really asking me that?”

Anya nodded, “Right. Cause you have a huge crush on blondie”

“Don’t call her that” Lexa scowled, “And I don’t have a _‘crush’_ on her” she made air quotation marks as she uttered the word _crush._

“Right” Anya said, her voice devoid of any conviction, “Like you would say no if she asked you out”

“I never said that” Lexa said. She angled her head towards the floor and smiled shyly, “It just feels like more than just a crush”

“Aw, Lexie’s in love” Anya ruffled her sister’s hair.

Lexa grumbled and munched down on a piece of her pizza, “I’m not in love” she mumbled in between bites.

“You really like her?” Anya asked more seriously.

Lexa swallowed down her food, “I really do, An” she smiled a bit.

Her sister nodded, “Then I guess there’s nothing I can do to make you change your mind about this. Besides, I don’t want you to change your mind”

Lexa leaned her head against her sister’s shoulder, “Thank you for trusting me with this”

Anya smiled, “It’s your life. My job is to make sure you don’t get in too much trouble” she reminded Lexa, “That girl makes you happy so as far as I’m concerned, I think you should just go for it”

“She said she wasn’t ready for a relationship” Lexa said.

“And you believe that?”

Lexa shrugged, “I have no reason not to. She was with a douchebag before so it makes sense she would be at least a little wary”

“But you’re not a douchebag” Anya frowned.

Lexa laughed, “I hope I’m not” she said, smiling, “Whatever she decides, I’m willing to wait so it’s fine”

“I really think she would be good for you” Anya said pensively.

“I think so too” Lexa smiled, picking up another piece of pizza before stuffing it into her mouth, “But she’s not ready and I respect that”

Anya nodded, choosing to not comment any further on the topic. She discreetly smiled to herself when she realized the progress made by Lexa throughout the last few months.

The brunette had been smiling more often. Genuine smiles, not like the pretend ones she wore when she was going through depression.

About an hour later, they started boarding the flight and Lexa sent one last text to Clarke before passing through the final gate.

 **Lexa - 10.57pm:** _Omw to New York_ :)

 

 

\----------------

 

 

Lexa sighed contentedly when a flight attendant announced their imminent arrival to New York.

The perks of flying at night were that the lights were dimmed and most people were sleeping thus no one recognized her aside from a teenage girl and her mother.

She stretched her arms above her head and took off her seatbelt as soon as they could safely do so. She hurried to gather her bags and rose to her feet.

“Wha-” she let out a strangled sound when Anya yanked her down and onto her seat, “What the hell, Anya?”

“You can’t just get up like that” Anya hissed, “People will recognize you”

“But I want to go to Clarke's as soon as possible” the actress pouted.

“If someone sees you, you can be sure it’ll take even longer for you to get off the plane with all the mess it’ll create”

Lexa slumped in her seat, forced to admit, at least to herself, that her sister was right. She kept discreet and angled her face towards the window as people walked past her seat to access the exit.

After nearly the whole plane had been emptied, Lexa pulled the hood of her sweatshirt over her head before she grabbed her travel bag and made her way through the rows of seats to finally step out.

Anya had to run to keep up with Lexa as the brunette hustled through the airport to fetch her baggage as quickly as possible so she could soon be on her way to Clarke’s.

“Lexa, chill” Anya placed her hand on the brunette's shoulder, attempting to slow her down, “We have time”

Lexa looked at her phone, “It’s already ten thirty, Anya” she said, “She's probably waiting for me”

“I think she's still sleeping”

Lexa frowned, not having considered that possibility, “I hope not” she quietly said, “I wouldn't want to disturb her sleep”

“Whipped” Anya mumbled.

“Shut up” Lexa rolled her eyes.

She turned on her phone and dialed Clarke's number, grinning from ear to ear when she heard it being picked up after a few seconds.

 _“Hello?”_ a hoarse voice said from the other end.

“Hey! It’s me” Lexa said with eagerness.

 _“Lexa”_ Clarke said, _“Are you in New York already? Was your flight nice?”_

“I am” Lexa confirmed, “And my flight was okay. I slept through most of it, though”

_“You’re here”_

“Not yet” Lexa said, “But very soon”

_“Then move your cute ass and get over here already”_

Lexa’s eyebrows shot up, “Oh so you think my ass is cute?”

Anya shot her a strange look and mouthed _what the fuck?_

Lexa blushed and focused on the girl on the other end whose laughter bubbled out of her lips.

 _“Just hurry up”_ Clarke said in an amused voice.

“I’ll go as fast as I can” Lexa promised, moving towards the area where they could retrieve their suitcases.

_“Where are you right now?”_

“Still at the airport. We just left the plane and we're waiting for the luggage to arrive”

 _“I can't believe you’ll soon be there”_ Clarke said, her sentence ending in a loud yawn.

“You can go back to sleep. I won’t be there for another thirty minutes or so”

 _“I won't be able to go back to sleep”_ Clarke said.

“I’ll see you very soon” Lexa said, her smile wide after hearing Clarke's earlier words. She caught a glimpse of her suitcase, “My luggage is here. I gotta go”

 _“See you in a bit”_ Clarke said in an excited voice.

 

 

\---------------

 

 

Lexa skipped up the stairs, her smile growing the closer she got to Clarke's apartment door.

“Slow down” Anya complained, huffing as she unsuccessfully tried to keep up with Lexa’s frantic pace.

“I can't” Lexa replied cheerfully, “Almost there” she said as she climbed the last flight of stairs.

She stopped in front of the closed door and let out a content sigh. Anya appeared behind her and lowered her hand on the actress’ shoulder.

“Ready?” the older girl asked with a smile.

The brunette grinned and nodded eagerly. She raised her fist and brought it down on the door to softly knock her knuckles against the hard surface.

She waited impatiently for it to open and straightened her posture when her ears caught the sound of movement from inside.

Her breath caught in her throat when the door opened and revealed the most gorgeous blue eyes and the most charming smile she had ever seen.

Her vision was soon filled with blonde hair and her senses invaded by the delicious smell of vanilla as Clarke surged forward and wrapped her in a tight embrace. The collision caused her to take a few steps back, the breath knocked out of her.

She giggled and lifted her arms to reciprocate the hug, “Hello, Clarke” she said with a face-splitting smile.

“Hey” Clarke murmured into her neck, sending chills on her skin.

Anya stepped past them, feeling that it could last very long. She threw one last glance at the hugging girls and smiled upon seeing the pure happiness on her sister’s face.

“You look beautiful” Lexa complimented when they pulled away.

A soft blush appeared on Clarke's cheeks and she grabbed Lexa’s hand, pulling her inside, “Come on, we have so much to catch up on”

Lexa grinned and let herself be led inside, her hand tingling pleasantly where it made contact with Clarke’s.

 

 

 


	9. Chapter 9

 

 

Lexa listened intently while Clarke eagerly recounted the events of the past month or so, moving her hands animatedly as she spoke.

“Wait…” Lexa interrupted her in the middle of a sentence, “Who is Niylah?”

“The girl I work with” Clarke answered, “Tall...blond hair often pulled into a braid...” she started describing her.

“Oh” Lexa said, an involuntary scowl appearing on her face, “Yes, I remember now”

Clarke frowned, “What’s that face for?” she asked, a small smile tugging at her lips.

Lexa blushed and shrugged, “She was looking at me a bit weird the last time I was there” she meekly answered.

“That’s because you were asking me out” Clarke said, a bright smile etched on her lips.

Lexa frowned, “Are you...are you with her?” the actress asked, a flash of disappointment appearing in her eyes.

“What? No” Clarke shook her head, “I mean, we…” she trailed off then shook her head, “It doesn’t matter”

Lexa felt a strong desire to know but she restrained herself from asking any further questions.

Clarke sighed, “We hooked up over a year ago” she disclosed the information despite not being asked to.

“Oh”

That was all Lexa said. Mental images of Clarke with the blonde woman flashed in her mind and she didn’t like it. She didn’t want to picture Clarke with somebody else. Clarke and the brunette weren’t anything more than friends but that didn't mean the latter’s feelings for the blonde had vanished. If anything, they were even stronger now than before.

“I don’t have feelings for her” Clarke cut through the silence.

“I- I didn’t ask” Lexa spluttered out, the tip of her ears reddening. A feeling of relief invaded her body at the unsolicited but welcomed admission.

Clarke raised an eyebrow, “Please. Your eyes were begging me to tell you”

The actress laughed, “I didn’t know you were so talented in the art of reading people’s behavior”

“Now you know” Clarke grinned, trapping her tongue between her teeth.

Lexa’s eyes dipped to Clarke’s lips when the blonde's tongue darted out to wet them.

“Do you want to do anything in particular?” Clarke asked, oblivious to where Lexa’s focus was.

The brunette smiled and hummed pensively, “I just want to spend time with you” she earnestly answered.

Clarke’s mouth opened a bit and her lips progressively turned curled into a blinding smile, “Yeah?”

Lexa mirrored her smile, “Yeah” she confirmed.

Anya reappeared from the kitchen in which she had been staying for the past twenty minutes, making phone calls to arrange Lexa's schedule after her break from work.

“I’m gonna go” she announced, “By the way, Luna called to ask if you two could talk when you come back”

Lexa nodded, “Of course” she answered, “But why didn’t she call me to say that?”

Anya shrugged, “I don’t know, Lex. I’ll see you later” she said, “Bye, Clarke” she waved the blonde goodbye.

“Bye” Clarke smiled slightly and then the older girl was gone, “Who’s Luna again?”

“My castmate” Lexa replied, “Remember when I told you about her liking me and stuff?"

Clarke nodded, "She still won't talk to you?"

The actress shook her head, “No...kind of?” she sighed, “I don’t really know. She talks to me but she's being cold and distant”

Clarke scooted closer and Lexa’s heartbeat picked up at the close proximity of the girl, “That was that the thing you needed to fix when I texted you, right?” Lexa nodded, “I’m sorry...I shouldn’t have texted you”

Lexa quickly shook her head, “Don’t. I told you that already, you were more important in that moment” she calmly said, “You needed someone and I’m glad you texted me”

Clarke didn’t look convinced.

Lexa sighed, “Can we talk about something else?” she quietly ask, “I just don’t want to think about that while I’m with you”

The blonde nodded in agreement and tentatively closed the distance between their hands, her index hesitantly brushing against the back of Lexa’s hand.

The actress’ eyes dropped down to their hands and she joined them in one swift movement, leaving herself no time to second guess this. Clarke involuntarily let out a content sigh and she held more tightly onto the hand which had slipped in her own.

“I still can’t believe you came back here”

Lexa shook her head in disbelief. How could Clarke think that she wouldn’t want to come back as soon as possible?

“Do you even realize how much I want to be here?” she spoke her thoughts aloud, unable to keep listening to Clarke doubting the importance Lexa gives to their bond.

The blond barista merely shrugged, eyes downcast, “I don’t know…” she replied almost inaudibly, “You’re an actress so surely, your everyday life is more interesting than...this” she gestured at the apartment and then at herself.

Lexa shook her head, “Absolutely not” she denied, “I love being with you” she admitted, “It’s...freeing” she settled on that word.

“How so?” Clarke’s brows scrunched up together in question.

“I can be myself around you and it’s really amazing” Lexa started absentmindedly stroking the back of Clarke’s hand with her thumb.

If the actress didn’t fully notice she was doing it, it definitely wasn't lost on Clarke and the blonde felt a fluttering feeling in the pit of her stomach. **_Is that what people call butterflies?_** she wondered.

“Clarke?” Lexa snapped her fingers in front of the blonde’s face, causing the blonde to look up at her abruptly.

“What?” blue eyes appeared then disappeared behind closed eyelids as Clarke blinked several times.

“You spaced out on me a little” Lexa chuckled, “What’s on your beautiful mind?”

“Nothing” Clarke mumbled, “Do you want to go somewhere?” she changed the topic, a blush creeping up her neck.

Lexa smiled, “Whatever you want to do is fine” she simply answered, “I told you, I just want to be with you”

They both heard the double implication of those words and Clarke's blush deepened, her lips curling into a shy smile.

“We could go to that diner you liked a lot?” Clarke suggested.

Lexa smiled, “I’d like that” she said, reluctantly untangling their hands to get up, “Should I put on a sweater and sunglasses again?” she smirked.

“Don't make fun of me. It helped you last time” Clarke pointed a finger at her.

Lexa grinned and hummed in agreement.

“I’ll go get you something” Clarke announced before disappearing upstairs.

Lexa waited patiently downstairs and she once again took in the paintings on the wall. She would never tire of watching those.

She was so absorbed in one painting in particular that she didn’t notice Clarke was back in the living room.

“You really like them, huh?” Clarke smiled.

Lexa snapped her head to the side and she nodded positively, “They’re magnificent” her lips curled upwards, “I really love this one” she pointed at one which was a painting of a forest, “I don’t know why”

“I painted it a couple months ago. Raven liked it so much that she asked me to hang it in the living room”

“Where is she now?” Lexa asked, surprised that she hadn’t yet been attacked by the young mechanic.

“She’s working” Clarke informed her, “Why? You miss her?” she smiled.

Lexa shrugged, “Just wondering”

Clarke handed a sweater and sunglasses to the actress and grabbed her bag and keys before opening the door to the apartment.

“After you” she held the door open for Lexa to step out first.

“What a gentlewoman” Lexa teased with a smile as she walked out.

“I try” Clarke returned her smile.

 

 

\----------------

 

 

Lexa moaned when she took her first bite, “I love this place” she said while munching on her food, “Why don’t we have this in LA?”

Clarke chuckled, “I don’t know but let’s not speak while eating. It’s considered inappropriate here”

Lexa blushed and swallowed down her food, “Sorry”

“Don’t be. It was cute” Clarke said and grinned when it caused a tiny smile to tug at the corner of the actress’ lips.

The waiter passed by their table and Lexa grabbed his arm, “You should be proud. This is delicious” she pointed at the food.

The waiter laughed, “I’ll make sure to repeat that to the chef” he said before walking away.

Clarke raised an eyebrow, “I’m not sure how used to this you are but this might not be the best way to go unnoticed by people. You’re lucky he didn’t know who you were”

Lexa’s eyebrows scrunched up, “Oh, right. I forgot”

“You forgot you were famous?” Clarke laughed, “How can you forget something like that?”

“You make me feel normal” Lexa said.

Clarke’s mouth fell slightly open and her heart started beating faster, “Yeah?”

“Yeah” Lexa confirmed, “Now eat, your food is getting cold” the brunette gestured at Clarke's plate which she had barely touched.

“Okay, mom” Clarke rolled her eyes playfully and picked up her fork.

Lexa raised an eyebrow at her and threw a napkin in the blonde's direction. The napkin, which wasn't nearly heavy enough, pathetically fell in the middle of the table.

Clarke stared at it for a second before she exploded in laughter. Lexa blushed heavily and she sunk on her chair.

“Did you-” Clarke's words got cut off when she started laughing again, “Did you think that was going to work?” she kept laughing.

Lexa meekly shrugged, “Yes?”

The barista’s laughter subsided and she fondly shook her head at the actress, “You’re something else”

“It’s a good thing, I hope”

“A very good thing” Clarke confirmed, grabbing the napkin to wipe at her mouth.

“Oh!” Lexa suddenly remembered something, “I wanna show you something” she exclaimed, pulling her phone out.

She got up and went to sit right next to Clarke, their legs not exactly touching but close enough that it felt as if they were. Clarke’s heart went into overdrive at the close proximity and she struggled to keep her attention on the screen and not on the woman next to her.

“Aren’t they beautiful?” Lexa asked as a video started playing.

Clarke took a closer look and she started laughing when she identified what she was being shown.

“Is that a squid?” she asked through her laughter.

Lexa frowned, “Don’t make fun of me” she pouted, “They’re beautiful” she looked down at the screen with a small smile.

Clarke started laughing even harder, “You’re such a child” she said, “This is great”

“But look at them” Lexa insisted, bringing Clarke’s attention back to the screen. “This is so cool”

“Nerd” Clarke teased.

Lexa shrugged, “I don’t take that as an insult” she said as she kept watching the video with wide, interested eyes.

Clarke wasn’t watching the video. Instead, she was watching _her._ She watched how her facial expression changed as the video kept playing. She admired her plump lips, bright eyes and rosy cheeks.

“Wait, this is my favorite part!” Lexa excitedly announced.

Clarke begrudgingly tore her eyes away from the actress’ profile and focused on the screen to see a horde of squid swimming around just as the voice-over said that squids communicate with their skin and receive messages with their eyes.

“This is kind of creepy” Clarke said as she watched the animals swim around.

“It’s amazing” Lexa argued.

Clarke slowly grabbed the phone and exited the video, “There” she placed the phone on the other end of the table.

Lexa pouted, “You’re mean” she accused, “Give me my phone back”

Clarke shook her head, “Nope. No more squids for today”

“What about octopuses?” Lexa asked.

“Octop-” Clarke repeated with a frown, “Lexa, what the fuck?” she grinned, “Those have to be the ugliest animals in existence”

“That blobfish you sent me a few months ago proves me otherwise” the actress countered.

“Ok true” Clarke relented, “But we’re not watching another video about squids. They scare me”

Lexa smiled, “They scare you?”

“Uhm, yes” Clarke said as if it was obvious, “They’re strong, fast and have all those tentacles. It’s scary”

Lexa shrugged, “It’s beautiful”

“To each their own” Clarke said, “Now I wanna know about what you’ve been up to” she dropped an elbow on the table and rested her head in the palm of her hand.

“You know what I’ve been up to” Lexa smiled, “It’s all in the magazines”

Clarke rolled her eyes, “I meant I want to know about you” she pressed her finger against Lexa’s chest, “Not Lexa Woods, just Lexa”

The brunette's smile widened and she took a gulp of her drink before setting the glass back on the table, “Well...I’ve been writing a bit” she said, “Songs, I mean” she added.

Clarke hummed, “Will you show me?”

“Maybe when it’s finished”

“Maybe?” Clarke raised an eyebrow.

Lexa trapped her tongue between her teeth as she grinned and nodded, “If you’re nice to me”

The blonde's lips curled upwards and she let out a small amused noise before taking a sip of her drink, “I see how it is”

Clarke resumed eating, stealing a shy glance at the actress next to her only to see that Lexa was already looking back at her with an expression that caused warmth to erupt in her chest.

Clarke looked into emerald green eyes. Lexa’s eyes were like a mirror of the actress’ soul. They were just so expressive.

The spell was broken when a waiter dropped a plate a few feet away from them. Clarke jumped in surprise and reached out to clutch Lexa’s arm.

“Are you okay?” Lexa asked with a small chuckle.

Clarke cleared her throat. She unclenched her hand and withdrew it, nodding, “Yeah, just got surprised”

There it was again, that expression on Lexa’s face and Clarke felt like she was either going to combust or kiss the woman senseless.

She swallowed heavily and picked up her fork, nervously eating the rest of her meal. She could feel Lexa’s eyes on her and her blush intensified.

“Could we go to Central Park afterwards?” Lexa asked in a small voice, “I loved it the last time I went”

Clarke smiled and moved her head in the affirmative, “We can go wherever you’d like”

“Really?” Lexa’s eyes lit up excitedly, “Anywhere?”

“Anywhere” Clarke confirmed, finding Lexa’s child-like behavior endearing.

“Thank you” the actress said before she dropped her head on Clarke’s shoulder, “You’re the best”

**_Calm down, stupid heart,_** Clarke thought to herself, willing herself to remain calm and not freak out about the way their bodies pressed together or how Lexa’s perfume had to be the most delicious scent she had ever smelled.

They finished eating shortly after and Lexa paid for it, despite Clarke's strong insistence that she wanted to.

_“Let me do this for you”_ Lexa had said, _“This is the least I can do in exchange for everything you do for me”_

Clarke crossed her arms around herself when they left the building. The weather was not too cold but it was definitely not warm enough to go out without at least a sweatshirt.

Lexa frowned when she saw the blonde shivering, “Clarke? Are you cold?”

Clarke shook her head, “No, I’m good, don’t worry” she smiled, “Shall we go?” she extended her hand.

Lexa eagerly nodded and slowly dropped her hand in Clarke's. Warmth spread through the brunette's body at the contact.

They walked there, found a small bench and sat side by side, their legs pressing together. Lexa noticed how Clarke was shivering beside her. The blonde hadn’t brought a jacket with and only had a long-sleeved shirt on.

Lexa hurried to discard the sweatshirt Clarke had lent to her, “Here” she handed it to the blonde.

Clarke shook her head, “No, keep it” she said, pushing the sweater towards Lexa.

“This wasn’t a question” Lexa said, her lips curled upwards, “Take it” she insisted and rolled her eyes when Clarke made no move to grab it.

She grabbed the hem of it and tried to put it on Clarke but the blonde moved, rendering the task impossible.

“Clarke” Lexa laughed, “Stop moving”

“Keep it” Clarke said, covering her head with her hands.

After a lot of struggle, Lexa managed to pull the sweatshirt down Clarke’s frame, “There” she smiled.

Clarke pouted and Lexa thought she looked adorable with her arms hanging at her sides, the sweatshirt halfway on, the sleeves hanging as well.

She placed her hand on Clarke's arm and guided it through the hole of the sweatshirt, “There you go”

“I know how to put on a sweatshirt, Lexa” Clarke grumbled, slipping her arm inside the other sleeve.

Lexa smiled and rubbed up and down Clarke's arms to warm the girl up, “Better?” she asked.

Clarke mumbled something unintelligibly.

“What did you say?” Lexa asked.

“You’re gonna catch a cold”

The actress’ lips split into a wide smile, “I won’t” she assured Clarke, “I almost never get sick”

The blonde ever so slowly leaned to the side and snuggled close to the actress. Lexa's smile grew impossibly bigger and she lifted her arm to wrap it around Clarke’s shoulders. Her heart was beating so loudly that she feared the blonde could hear it.

She quickly scanned the area they were in, making sure no paparazzi had seen them and followed them here. When she only saw children laughing and a few tourists, the tension left her shoulders and she let herself enjoy the way Clarke’s body pleasantly connected with her own.

“It’s beautiful here” she commented.

Clarke shrugged, “It’s probably not as beautiful as LA” she said.

Lexa made a non-committed noise, “LA can be pretty annoying at times. Have you ever been there?”

Clarke shook her head, “Nope”

“I’ll give you a tour someday” Lexa said, squeezing the blonde’s upper arm, where she had rested her hand.

Clarke hummed and closed her eyes, “You should prepare yourself for when we come back to the apartment”

Lexa frowned, “Why?”

“Raven will be there” was all Clarke said.

“Ah, right” Lexa said, chuckling, “I think I can manage”

“Wait till you have to spend an entire afternoon with her” Clarke pointed out, “You won’t say the same thing afterwards”

“She's your friend. I’m sure I’ll like her as much as you do”

Clarke frowned, “Don’t like her too much, though” she said.

Lexa's eyebrows shot up in surprise, “Jealous?” she teased.

“Pfft, me? Jealous? Never” Clarke denied as she scooted a tiny bit closer to Lexa, “I don't like you that much”

“You don’t?” Lexa asked with a smile.

“Well, I mean, uhm…” Clarke stumbled over her words.

“I’m just teasing you, Clarke”

“Right. I knew that” the blonde replied, rolling her eyes at herself for her utmost lack of coolness.

“Do you want to go back inside?” Lexa asked, not wanting Clarke to feel bored. After all, Clarke lived in New York and had probably been to Central Park many times already.

Clarke shook her head against Lexa’s shoulder, blond hair tickling the brunette's cheek, “This feels nice”

Lexa simply smiled and settled comfortably against the bench, watching children play with a soccer ball while Clarke remained curled up against her.

 

 

\---------------

 

 

Lexa let out a muffled groan when a body collided with hers as soon as she stepped inside the apartment.

“Raven…” Clarke sighed, “Let go of her”

“Never” the mechanic said, “This is great” she remained rooted on her spot, arms wrapped tightly around Lexa’s neck.

The actress let out a small laugh and looked towards Clarke, question written in her eyes.

“Okay, that’s enough” Clarke forcefully pulled Raven away from Lexa, “You’re going to suffocate her”

Raven pouted, “I don't see why you would be allowed to have her all to yourself” she crossed her arms in front of her chest.

“Uh, because I was her friend first” Clarke retorted.

“And I’ve been a fan of hers for longer than you. If I remember correctly, you kept saying you didn’t care for Lexa Woods and didn’t want to know anything about her” Raven raises an eyebrow.

Clarke blushed, “That’s not true” she argued, “I just wanted you to stop talking about her 24/7”

“Ha! So you admit you didn’t like Lexa!”

“Guys…” Lexa tried to intervene.

Clarke frowned, “What? I never said that. What in my words made you come to that conclusion?”

“Well, first of all-”

“I’m still here, you know” Lexa tried again.

“Lexa, you’re hot but please shut it. I’m trying to prove blondie wrong” Raven said.

Lexa's eyebrows shot up and she shook her head, “Okay…” she went to take a seat on the couch and waited for their argument to be over.

“As I was saying” Raven resumed, “You kept going on and on about how Lexa must be a pretentious prick who thinks she's better than everyone else”

Lexa's lips formed a wide grin at the heavy blush that colored Clarke's cheeks when the blonde turned to her with an apologetic look.

“Is that so, Clarke?” she raised a perfectly-shaped eyebrow.

“I, uh, I mean...Would you believe me if I said it isn’t true?”

“Most likely not” Lexa laughed.

“See? Lexa’s on my side” Raven chimed in, “Take that, bitch” she playfully flipped Clarke the bird.

“She’s not on your side” Clarke argued.

“Yes, she is” Raven countered.

Both girls suddenly turned towards Lexa, arms crossed in front of their chest, looking at the actress expectantly.

Lexa looked like a deer caught in the headlights. Her eyes were wide and her mouth opened and closed, no sound escaping.

“Well?” Clarke prompted.

Lexa’s eyes shifted between blue and brown eyes, the two other girls awaiting her answer.

“I’m with Clarke” she blurted out, her heart speaking for her.

Raven threw her arms in the air in frustration, “I should have known with all the heart eyes she’s been throwing at you. This is so unfair” she whined.

Clarke grinned and bent down to press a kiss on Lexa’s cheek, “Thank you” she whispered into the actress’ ear.

The brunette grinned dumbly and nodded a couple times, the hair on her arms rising, “O-of course” she stuttered out.

“Useless lesbian” Raven muttered under her breath. She retreated to the kitchen and came back with a bottle of vodka, “Time to have some fun”

“It’s only three in the afternoon, Raven” Clarke rolled her eyes, “Besides, Lexa doesn’t drink” she looked towards the brunette who sent her a thankful smile.

“We have some orange juice if you want” Raven said.

Lexa shook her head, “I’m good”

“I’ll get you some water then” Raven shrugged and left the room again, reappearing a few minutes later with two cups and a water bottle trapped under her arm.

She dropped one of the cups in front of Clarke.

“That’s for you, princess”

Clarke smelled its content, “What kind of weird mix did you just make?”

“Taste and you’ll see” Raven wiggled her eyebrows. She handed the water bottle to Lexa, “This is for you. Alright, simple game: truth or dare or drink”

“We’re only three...it’s not fun” Clarke complained.

“Lexa Woods is here. Why are you complaining?” Raven leaned forward to smack Clarke's forehead before sitting back down.

“Ouch, what the fuck?” Clarke, exclaimed, rubbing at her forehead. Raven was already spinning an empty bottle in the middle.

It landed on Lexa and the actress looked up, then down to the bottle, “Great” she mumbled, “Uh, truth?” she went with what seemed to be the safest option for now.

Raven grinned and Lexa instantly knew she would regret not having chosen dare this time.

“Have you ever sexually fantasized about blondie over here” Raven pointed towards Clarke whose blush matched Lexa’s.

“W...What?” Lexa stammered out, “Can I pick dare instead?”

“So you _have_ fantasized about her” Raven wiggled her eyebrows, “Interesting, interesting” she hummed.

Lexa hid her face behind one of her hands, “Why?” she whined.

Clarke's hand inched closer until her pinky was grazing Lexa's. She linked them together and waited for Lexa to reveal her face. When she did, the blonde gave her a sweet smile.

“I’m sorry” Lexa quietly apologized.

“What for?” Clarke asked.

The brunette blushed, “Don’t make me say it” she all but pleaded, “It’s embarrassing enough as it is”

“Your ears get red when you blush” Raven pointed out, “It’s kinda cute”

“Shut up, Raven” Clarke said, rolling her eyes.

Lexa’s phone rang and she sighed in relief, thankful for the interruption. She accepted the call without checking who it was, “Yes?”

_“Lex, sorry to interrupt but there is a huge crowd of fans in front of your hotel. What do you want me to do?”_

Lexa was shocked at how fast fans had gotten hold of the information about where she would be staying at night. She kept being surprised by how much fans can do with the dedication they have.

“I'll go meet them” Lexa decided, “Don’t let them leave. I wanna meet every one of them”

_“But Lex-”_

Lexa hung up before her sister could finish. She got up, “I’m sorry to cut this short but there are fans in front of the hotel” she informed them, “I should go meet them”

Clarke smiled at just how generous and kind Lexa was to her fans and to people in general, “Don’t worry about it” she said, “We’ll still be here when you come back”

“Thank you, you’re amazing” Lexa said before she grabbed her bag and left the apartment.

“Wait, Lexa!” Clarke called after her.

The brunette turned on her heels and saw Clarke, holding a set of keys, including car keys, in her hands.

“Want a ride?”

Lexa grinned and nodded eagerly, “Yes, thank you”

They quickly walked down the stairs, and climbed into the blonde's car.

“You should stay in the car when we get there. There will probably be paparazzi” Lexa said as they drove to the location.

“Ashamed of being seen with me?” Clarke teased, glancing furtively at Lexa before focusing back on the road.

“It would be an honor to be seen with you” Lexa said, “I just don't want the press to own more pictures of you and involve you in all this mess”

Clarke's face heated up at the compliment, “Thank you” she murmured, “By the way, I don’t think you’re pretentious. I said that when I didn’t know you and I apologize”

“It’s okay. I understand why you would think that” Lexa assured her.

“I’m still sorry” Clarke reiterated and Lexa simply nodded.

They arrived at their destination five minutes later. Clarke drove to a parking lot nearby and Lexa unfastened her seatbelt.

“Thanks for the ride” she said before getting out, throwing one last wave in Clarke's direction.

The blonde watched her walk away and pulled out her phone to busy herself while the actress was gone. She heard a chiming sound and noticed that Lexa had left her phone inside the car. She laughed when she read the notification. It was a notification from a youtube channel Lexa was subscribed to called _Sea Life and its Mysteries_

“Nerd” she said to herself, laughing. She accidentally pressed on a random app, “Shit” she went to close it when she caught sight of her name.

**_What is this,_** she asked herself. She felt guilty but her curiosity had been peaked. It seemed the app was like a notebook where Lexa could write down her thoughts. Clarke blushed heavily when she read what was written about herself in it.

 

**2 days ago**

_Clarke is so beautiful. She reminds me of angels except that she is very real. I wish she could see what I see when I look at her...then maybe she would understand how amazing she truly is_

She read those words over and over again. So much so, that her vision started becoming blurry and she had to blink a few times. Never had she experienced such feeling. She felt overwhelmed in the best way possible and her heart grew twice its size. She scrolled down and saw another note which was an audio message this time. It was from two days ago. She grinned when she heard Lexa's voice through the device.

 

_"I don't even know why I'm recording this...I just need to say it out loud I guess and this makes it look like I'm not talking to myself. God, I'm totally talking to myself"_   the sound of the actress' laughter made her smile, _"I feel like meeting Clarke was the Universe’s way to redeem itself for all it has put me through in the past year. I can’t recall a time where I have been happier than when I’m with her._ _She's...so talented. I feel things when I look at her paintings. Things that I can’t even describe with words._ _She told me she wasn’t ready for a relationship. And I respect that. I just hope that, maybe someday, she and I can share something and she can let me cherish her like she deserves to be. If not, I’ll be honored to be her friend for as long as she wants me to. I really don't know what I'm doing right now. i'll probably delete this later"_ Lexa let out a small breathy laugh and that was all. The recording ended there.

 

Clarke wiped at the tears in her eyes and left the app before locking Lexa’s phone and putting it back where it was before she touched it. She had never gotten such praise from someone. She had no idea what to think right now. Her thoughts were a mess but above everything, she felt a rush of strong feelings for the actress.

Lexa was going to be gone for awhile. That left Clarke with a lot of time to replay those words in her mind. **_Should I just go for it? Should I wait a bit longer?_ _What is scaring me so much?_** those were the questions swirling in her mind.

Fifteen minutes later, Clarke saw Lexa walk back towards her and she got out of the car before the actress had even reached it.

Clarke strode forward, taking long, decided steps, and she wrapped her arms tightly around Lexa's neck, surprising the brunette who took a few seconds to, in turn, encircle the blonde's waist with her arms.

“I’m not complaining but what is this for?” Lexa asked with a small laugh.

“No reason” Clarke lied, “I’m just happy you’re here”

Lexa smiled, “I’m happy too” she said, “Do you want to go back to your apartment?”

Clarke tightened her hold on the actress, “Not yet. Just a bit longer” she said.

Lexa nodded and relished in the feeling of Clarke's body against her own, “Will you come to LA one day?”

Clarke finally detached herself from the brunette and smiled, “I’d love to”

 

 

\-------------

 

 

Anya knocked on the door of Clarke's apartment. It flew open but the blonde wasn’t on the other side.

“Cheekbones” Raven smirked, “To what do I owe the pleasure of your visit?”

“Is Lexa here?” the older woman asked.

“Nope” Raven replied, “She went out with Clarke and I haven’t seen them since afternoon”

“She won’t answer her phone. She’s supposed to be back at her hotel in twenty minutes. It’s getting late” Anya sighed, noticing it was already past ten o'clock.

“I can give you a call when she’s back here” Raven offered.

“I don’t give out my number to strangers” Anya dryly replied, “Just tell Lexa to call me whenever she’s back here” she said before leaving.

“Nice to meet you too” Raven said, rolling her eyes.

The mechanic pulled out her phone and called her best friend. It picked up after two rings.

_“Yeah?”_

“Yo, Griff” Raven greeted her, “Cheekbones stopped by to ask when Lexa would be back here”

" _Cheekbones?”_ Clarke asked, confused, _“Are you...Are you talking about Anya?”_

“So that’s her name” Raven grinned.

_“I know that tone. Don’t you dare, Raven”_

“Why not?” the latina exclaimed, “She’s hot”

_“She's also Lexa's sister”_ Clarke informed her, _“Don’t start hitting on her”_

The absence of a reply from Raven drew a sigh from Clarke.

_“You're gonna do it anyway, aren’t you?”_

“Exactly” Raven grinned.

_“I know I won't be able to stop you so I won't even waste my energy trying. To answer your question, we’ll be back in about thirty minutes”_

“What took you guys so long?”

_“We hung out at the park and we ended up going to a restaurant, then a bar. We’ll be there soon”_

“You brought Lexa to a bar? I thought she didn’t drink?”

_“She doesn’t but she told me she still wanted to see what our bars looked like in New York. Said some stupid stuff about wanting the full experience”_

_“It’s not stupid!”_ Raven heard Lexa protest.

_“Whatever you say”_ Clarke laughed, then focused back on her conversation with Raven, _“So yeah, expect us back soon”_

“Perfect. See you soon. Tell Lexa she looks beautiful”

_“You can’t see her”_

“Are you telling me she doesn’t look beautiful?” Raven raised a knowing eyebrow.

_“I...uhm…I mean-”_

“Very smooth, Griff” Raven teased, “Anyway, I won't disturb you any longer. See you soon, asshole”

_“Bye, jerk”_

_< <<>>> _

“Raven asked me to tell you that you look beautiful”

Lexa frowned, “But she can't see me…”

Clarke shrugged, “Yeah, well, it’s Raven” she laughed a bit, “And she isn’t wrong” she added in a rush of confidence.

“Really?”

“Don’t act like you don’t know it” Clarke bashfully said.

“I like when it’s you who says it” Lexa revealed, “It sounds more genuine”

Clarke nodded and they fell silent after that. Lexa stared at her for a few seconds before speaking up, “Do you want to go back now?”

“I don’t know…”

Lexa laughed, “We're gonna have to go back at some point” she said.

“Yeah, I know” Clarke nodded, “I just don't want today to be over” she sighed, “I just…” she started speaking then shook her head, “Nevermind”

“You can tell me” Lexa said.

“I feel like you’ll be gone tomorrow if I let you go back to your hotel” Clarke dejectedly admitted.

“I’m here for a whole week, Clarke”

“But what if your producers call for one reason or another and you have to go back home?”

“That won’t happen”

“You don't know that” Clarke argued.

“Yes, I do. Because I specifically asked them not to disturb me while I’m here”

Clarke blinked twice, “You did?”

Lexa smiled, “Yes. Yes, I did. Because...I don’t want to leave either. I want to enjoy this week with you as much as I can”

The blonde smiled to herself, “Okay” she quietly said.

“Okay?” Lexa frowned.

“We can go back” Clarke said.

 

 

\-------------

 

 

They were standing in the doorway of Clarke's apartment, neither willing to say goodbye just yet.

“You could come in for a bit” Clarke tentatively suggested.

Lexa looked down at her watch, “It’s very late” she pointed out, “I should head back to my hotel”

“You could stay the night” Clarke blurted out in a last attempt to get Lexa to stay.

“You want me to spend the night?” Lexa asked, surprised.

Clarke shyly nodded, “If you want?”

The actress smiled, “I'd love to” she said, “But I have to warn Anya first”

“Of course”

Lexa walked into the kitchen and turned her phone on. She winced at the six missed calls from Anya.

_“Finally”_ her sister said when she picked up, _“Where have you been?”_

“I’m sorry, An. We were out and we lost track of time”

_“Obviously”_ Anya said, _“Are you on your way to the hotel now? This is dangerous. I can have someone pick you up”_

“No, actually...this is why I called” Lexa revealed, “I’m spending the night at Clarke's”

_“Okay”_

“That’s all? You’re not going to give me a big speech about how risky this is?”

_“I trust your ability to make choices for yourself and Clarke has proven herself to be trustworthy so I’m good”_

“Thanks, An. I’ll see you tomorrow”

_“Goodnight, Lexa”_ her sister said before hanging up the phone.

Lexa turned to Clarke with a small smile, “She accepted” she announced happily.

Clarke laughed, “It kind of feels as if I’m thirteen again and have to ask my friends’ parents if they can stay the night”

Lexa laughed with her, “I don’t know about you but I’m slightly older than thirteen”

Clarke gasped, “Do I look like a thirteen year old to you?”

Lexa shook her head with a smile, “You look like a very beautiful grown woman to me”

The blonde blushed and looked away, “Stop” she mumbled, her tone indicating that she wanted nothing more than for Lexa to continue.

Lexa laughed and walked further into the apartment, “So…” she trailed off, “What do you want to do?”

Clarke fumbled with her hands, “We could watch a movie?” she suggested.

Lexa noted the blonde's nervousness and smiled, “That sounds nice” she agreed. They both split up to get changed, Lexa borrowing a shirt and sweatpants from her friend. She then gestured to the couch, “Can I sit here?”

Clarke nodded, “Sure, make yourself at home” she said before going into the kitchen, telling the actress she’d be right back.

She came back with two water bottles and a large blanket. After dropping it on the coffee table, she handed a bottle to Lexa and sat down at a reasonable distance of the actress despite her desire to be closer.

If Lexa was disappointed by the space left between them, she didn’t voice it and looked at the screen of the tv, “What do you want to watch?”

Clarke shrugged, “You’re the guest. You can choose”

Lexa grinned and got up to look through their shelves of dvds. She hummed in thought and a small sound escaped her lips when she found one she liked.

“This one” she held it up.

“The Conjuring?” Clarke smiled, “I didn’t peg you for a horror movie fan”

“There's a lot you don’t know about me” Lexa said before opening the dvd case, retrieving the disc from it, “Where do I put it?”

Clarke got up and crouched down next to her, her nerves growing when she found herself very close to the brunette, “Right here” she pointed at their dvd player.

Lexa smiled and inserted the disc before getting up to reclaim her seat, this time, sitting a bit to the left so that she was closer to the blonde.

Lexa tried but she was unable to focus on the movie, which was very unusual since it was one of her favorite movies of all time. The reason for such disinterest was the woman sitting next to her, close and yet too far.

She kept stealing glances at Clarke and on the few instances where the blonde was already looking back at her, they both looked down, cheeks tinted in a slight pink and lips curled upwards, nervousness buzzing through their veins.

Lexa inched her hand closer, reducing the space between Clarke’s hand and her own. She brushed her pinky against the blonde's and held her breath until the other woman smiled and fully grabbed her hand, holding it. They smiled at each other before resuming watching the movie, their hands clasped together between them.

Somewhere during the movie, Clarke ended up lying sideways on the couch, her head on a pillow and her legs in Lexa’s lap. The brunette was tracing circles on the skin of her ankles, her eyes fixed on the tv. She would sometimes feel Clarke jump in surprise and would laugh to herself.

She tapped Clarke's legs as she rather excitedly announced to her that the upcoming scene was one of her favorites.

The blonde shifted her gaze to the screen, begrudgingly tearing her eyes away from Lexa. It was only ten seconds later when her eyes stopped once again on the brunette, taking in each of her features. The distance between them was bothering her. She started fidgeting, trying to figure out a way to sit closer without being too obvious.

“Are you okay?” Lexa asked after a few minutes of Clarke slightly shifting positions on the couch.

The blonde hummed, blushing at having been caught.

“If you’re not comfortable, we can switch positions” Lexa suggested.

“No, I’m fine” Clarke lied, shuffling a bit before becoming perfectly still.

Lexa squinted her eyes at her and stopped the movements of her thumbs on the skin of Clarke's ankles, “You’re such a liar” she laughed, pushing Clarke's legs off her lap.

The blonde laughed nervously and let her feet rest on the floor as she sat upright on the couch, hands folded in her lap.

Lexa kept eyeing her in a way she couldn’t identify, “What?” Clarke shyly asked, feeling very self-conscious.

“Are you trying to avoid me?” Lexa chuckled, gesturing at the way the blonde had sat as far from her as possible.

Clarke shook her head, “I wasn’t sure if you wanted me to sit close or not” she bashfully admitted.

Lexa shook her head with a bright smile and grabbed Clarke's hand, “Come here” she quietly said.

The blonde scooted closer, encouraged by the kind smile on Lexa’s face. She sat close enough that their shoulders and legs were touching.

Her hands remained in her own lap. She didn’t really know what to do with them at the moment. Lexa draped a blanket over the two of them and sat more comfortably.

Finally, Clarke redirected her attention to the movie, trying as she might to ignore the tingling in her skin where her leg made contact with Lexa’s.

She jumped in surprise and let out a small scream when, in the movie, a character abruptly appeared on the screen. She snuggled close to Lexa, hiding her face behind her shoulder.

Lexa laughed, “Really?” she asked, raising an amused eyebrow, _“That_ scared you?”

“He came out of nowhere!” Clarke defended herself, “I don't like this movie” she whined, still hiding behind Lexa.

The brunette grinned, “You're only saying this because you’re scared of it” she teased, poking Clarke's stomach.

“I’m not scared” Clarke denied.

“Sure, you’re not” Lexa retorted, sarcasm seeping into her voice and a smirk planting itself on her face.

Clarke lightly hit her on the shoulder, “I’m not!” she insisted. Lexa merely chuckled.

Clarke's claims were proven wrong when two seconds later, she let out a scream as a door slammed in the movie.

“I thought you weren't scared?” Lexa teased.

“Shut up” Clarke mumbled.

Lexa brought a hand up to brush a strand of hair away from Clarke's face, “I can lend you my hand to hold onto if you're too scared” she offered.

“You just want me to hold your hand” Clarke accused knowingly.

Lexa laughed, “Yeah, you're kinda right” she admitted with a charming smile which had Clarke's stomach fluttering.

The blonde smiled to herself and slowly took Lexa's hand in hers, sighing happily at the contact. The brunette's thumb started tracing circles on the back of her hand and Clarke couldn’t focus on anything but the feeling of it.

Two jump scares later and she had a death grip on the actress's hand, holding it tightly without even realizing she was doing it until she heard a small pained sound from beside her.

“Oh, I’m so sorry!” she exclaimed, releasing the actress's hand.

Lexa shook her head, “It’s okay” she chuckled, “Do you usually get this scared when watching horror movies?”

“I usually don't watch horror movies”

“Oh” Lexa said, “Well, that’s a shame. You don't know what you're missing on”

“Lots of nightmares and the paralyzing fear of stepping out of my room at night?” Clarke raised an eyebrow, “No, thank you”

Lexa smiled, “Don’t you think you’re exaggerating?” she asked right when another jump scare appeared on the screen and Clarke screamed, “Ok, so maybe you’re not exaggerating” she laughed.

“I hate this” Clarke rested her face against Lexa's shoulder, “Make it stop”

“We're only a third into the movie” Lexa pointed out with an amused smile.

Clarke groaned, “For fuck’s sake” she mumbled, “I hate you”

“No, you don’t” Lexa grinned.

Clarke raised her head and looked at her for a few seconds before sighing, “No, I don't” she agreed before dropping her head back on the actress's shoulder.

Lexa smiled, content with that answer and her hand sought out Clarke's under the blanket.

“Do you want me to crush your hand again?” Clarke asked.

The brunette shrugged, “Worth it” she said.

The blonde sucked in a breath and blushed, “You need to stop saying things like that” she quietly said.

Lexa's eyes widened, “Oh...I’m sorry” she apologized, “I didn't realize it made you uncomfortable. I won’t do it again” she hurried to say.

Clarke shook her head, “No...I’m not saying this because it makes me uncomfortable...I’m saying this because you’re too kind and it’s making me blush so much, I’m actually scared all the blood had rushed to my face”

Lexa laughed, relieved to know she hadn't made her friend feel uneasy, “Now that you mention it, you do look quite red” she placed the tip of her index against the blonde's cheek.

Clarke hid her face against the brunette's shoulder, “You’re not helping right now” she whined.

“You’re like a child” Lexa commented, laughing, “It’s cute” she then blurted out.

Clarke raised her head, “You think I’m cute?” she asked, a smile drawing itself on her features.

“You know what I think” Lexa softly said.

Clarke felt a pang of guilt. Lexa had made it very clear from the beginning that she was interested in her and had fully respected that Clarke wasn’t ready for a relationship. She had proven herself time and time again to be trustworthy, yet Clarke was still making Lexa wait.

She was brought back to reality when Lexa waved her hand in front of her eyes. She shook her thoughts away.

“Where did you go?” Lexa asked, smiling gently.

Clarke smiled back, “Nowhere, it’s not important” she brushed it off before looping her arms with Lexa’s left one and resting her head on the brunette's shoulder once more to watch the rest of the movie.

She breathed in the lavender scent coming from the actress and tried to fight off sleep but felt her eyelids progressively drooping.

She barely registered it when the tv was turned off and hands slipped behind her knees and on her back to carry her bridal style to the bedroom. She was lowered slowly onto the soft material of her mattress and the covers were pulled up her body, the actress tucking her in.

She opened her eyes just enough to catch the brunette's figure walking back towards the door, potentially to go sleep on the couch.

“Stay” Clarke croaked out in her sleepy state, her eyes half-closed already.

“I’m just going to sleep on the couch”

Clarke shook her head, “Sleep here” she patted the space next to herself on the bed.

Lex hesitated, “Are you sure?”

A positive hum.

With slow, tentative steps, the brunette padded to the bed and lay on it ever so slowly. She froze when the bed dipped as Clarke rolled on her side, getting closer.

She took in a sharp breath when arms wrapped around her waist, and released the air slowly as a smile crept up on her face.

She let herself enjoy the feeling of Clarke's body pressed against hers, the blonde's puffs of breath hitting the skin of her neck with each exhale, causing goose bumps to appear on her skin.

Clarke's breathing evened out after a few more seconds, indicating she was asleep. Lexa brought a hand up and brushed Clarke's hair away from her face.

Her heart started thumping loudly in her chest when the blonde shifted her position in her sleep and rolled fully on top of her, laying her head on the brunette's chest.

**_She's a cuddler,_** Lexa realized, a heavy blush covering her cheeks. It had been awhile since she had last slept with someone cuddled up to her.

She tentatively brought one arm up to wrap around Clarke's body, smiling when the gesture caused Clarke to bury her face into her neck, the blonde's nose nuzzling the skin there.

She told herself that, if she couldn't be with Clarke the way she really wanted, she would enjoy this moment as much as possible.

Clarke’s smell invaded her senses in the best way possible and Lexa was fighting off sleep just so she could revel in this moment a bit more.

Eventually, exhaustion won over, jet lag catching up to her, and she too drifted off to sleep, feeling lighter than she had in months.

 

 

 

 

 


	10. Chapter 10

 

 

Lexa blinked her eyes open and winced at the light coming from the small gap between the curtains. She felt a body pressed against her front and hair tickled her face. She scrunched up her nose and her vision was filled with blonde hair, the smell of vanilla invading her senses in the best way possible. In their sleep, their positions had changed and they were now spooning, Clarke being the little spoon.

Lexa felt something soft and round in her hand and she blushed heavily when she realized that, while sleeping, her hand had inadvertently moved up the blonde's body to cup one of her breasts.  ** _Holy shit,_** she thought to herself, a heavy blush on her cheeks, as she slowly moved her hand from its previous emplacement, praying to all Gods that Clarke had been sleeping through it all and hadn’t been made aware of where Lexa's hand had ended up.

She tried to crawl out of bed but the sleeping girl next to her rolled around and wrapped her arms around her torso, burying her face in the brunette's neck. This had to be one of the best days of the actress's entire existence. Her heart was threatening to break out of her chest with how fast it was beating and she tried, to no avail, to control the blush rising on her cheeks.

Ten minutes passed before Clarke started awakening. Blue eyes fluttered open and a big yawn escaped the blonde. She looked up and smiled, “Hey” she hoarsed out.

Lexa grinned, “Hey”

Clarke looked down. Her brain finally caught up with the situation and she realized the position she was in, “Sorry” she apologized, retracting her arms, allowing Lexa to move away if she wanted to. She didn’t.

“Don’t be” Lexa chuckled, “It was nice”

Clarke's eyes widened, “Shit, I drooled on you” she started wiping at the material of Lexa's shirt.

Lexa laughed, “Don’t worry about it” she said, “And besides, it’s your shirt”

Clarke paused for a second then smiled, “Right” she said, pulling her hand away, “Still sorry” she added, eyeing the wet spot on the shirt.

Lexa let out a long yawn and swung her legs off the bed, letting her feet rest against the cold floor of Clarke's bedroom.

The blonde whined, “How can you already be ready to get up?” she asked, “Stay in bed” she then mumbled.

Lexa's lips formed a smile and she rose from the bed, “I’ll cook breakfast” she told Clarke who appeared to be still in a state between sleep and consciousness.

“You don’t have to” Clarke mumbled against her pillow.

“I want to” Lexa said, “As a thank you for letting me crash here last night” she put on her socks and headed towards the door.

“You’re welcome here anytime” Clarke said before a yawn broke free and she buried herself deeper into the warmth the covers provided.

Lexa smiled at her, fondness seeping into emerald eyes, and she closed the door quietly behind her when she left the room. She pulled out two frying pans after struggling to find the place those were kept in, and a quick glance to the clock told her that it was nearing ten o'clock.

She moved with ease around the kitchen, searching through the various drawers to find the necessary items.

Twenty-five minutes later, her task was completed and she placed four, still hot pancakes on a plate. She placed cutlery next to it, left it at the table, and headed back to the bedroom.

Clarke was sound asleep, her hand tucked under her face and her chest moving up and down with the steady rhythm of her breathing. Lexa stared for a few seconds before shaking herself out of it. She walked closer and her hand moved to brush against a pale cheek, “Clarke?” she quietly called out.

Clarke let out a small sound and her nose scrunched up but still, she remained asleep. Lexa grabbed her shoulder and shook her body without being too brusque, efficiently pulling Clarke from her slumber.

“...What?” Clarke asked in a small voice, looking around her to identify where she was.

“I made you breakfast” Lexa said with a smile, attracting Clarke's attention towards her.

The blonde let out a hum of acknowledgement and wrapped her arms around the actress's neck, pulling her down on top of her.

“Wh-” Lexa instinctively placed both hands on the mattress so as to not crush Clarke with her weight.

“Thank you” Clarke said, “You’re very sweet” she added, her voice still hoarse from sleeping.

Lexa grinned, “You’re welcome but if we don’t get up now, the pancakes will become cold”

Clarke's face lit up, “Pancakes!?” she excitedly said, pulling away to look into Lexa’s eyes.

The actress nodded.

“Oh my god, you’re amazing” she groaned, “Marry me, please” she added jokingly.

Lexa smiled to herself, her heart pounding in her chest because of the blonde's words. She lifted Clarke off the bed in one swift movement to carry her bridal style around the apartment.

Clarke giggled, “What are you doing?”

“Carrying my future bride downstairs” Lexa grinned happily. She walked until she reached the couch in the living room and she lowered Clarke on it, “Stay here”

Clarke watched with a fond smile as Lexa all but ran towards the kitchen before coming back with a plate filled with pancakes.

She nearly moaned at the delicious smell, “This smells so good”

Lexa handed her a fork, “Well, I hope it tastes good too” she chuckled, rubbing the back of her neck nervously, “I struggled a bit with the coffee maker so there isn’t any coffee, sorry”

Clarke looked at her, mouth stuffed with pancakes, “Don’t worry about it” she said through a mouthful.

Lexa smiled and looked down at her hands. She felt Clarke's finger poke her shoulder and snapped her head to the side.

Clarke swallowed down her food, “You’re not eating?” she noted with confusion.

Lexa started shaking her head, “It’s okay. I’m not really hungry” she politely said.

Clarke rolled her eyes, “You made it so it’s only fair you can taste it” she reasoned.

Convinced by her words, Lexa headed towards the kitchen and placed some pancakes on a plate to bring them back to the living room. She sat down at a reasonable distance from Clarke, not wishing to come off as intrusive or overbearing. She didn’t see the small disappointed frown that took over Clarke's features.

After a few minutes, the silence was broken by Clarke's voice, “So, um...I’ll have to go to work in one hour so you'll be free from me”

Lexa shook her head with a smile, “Finally” she teasingly said, grinning at the way Clarke feigned offense.

“I see how it is” she said, scooting closer to the actress on the couch.

Lexa smiled. She felt her hunger increase and decided to start eating as well. She laughed at the small happy noises Clarke let out while eating, “Is it good?” she asked.

Clarke grinned, mouth filled with a pancake, and she nodded eagerly, looking very childlike in that moment.

“I’m glad you like it” Lexa chuckled. She started feeling self-conscious when Clarke stared at her a bit too long. She laughed nervously, “Why are you looking at me like that? Have I got some food between my teeth or something?”

Clarke shook her head, “I’m just happy that you’re here. It feels a bit surreal that you would want to waste your time with me”

Lexa smiled, “This is far from being a waste of my time” she assured the blonde. She then got up.

Clarke frowned, “Where are you going?”

“I just have to use the bathroom” Lexa said, “Where is it?”

Clarke pointed at the stairs, “First door on your left” she indicated.

Lexa nodded in thanks and walked away, leaving Clarke alone and with a bit of time to think about what she wanted exactly.

She knew she was attracted to Lexa. Who wouldn’t be? She also knew Lexa was probably the kindest and most caring person she had ever met, despite what the media loved to say about the actress being _“pretentious”_ and _“self-absorbed”_. That was just a load of lies. Made up words and rumors aiming to discredit the actress and stir some drama among the media world.

Clarke couldn’t comprehend this side of the world where people were seen by the media as a pure means to entertain and nothing more.

She heard the flush of the toilet and straightened herself up on the couch, looking up towards the stairs for when Lexa would be back.

 

 

<<<>>> 

 

 

Lexa splashed some water on her face. **_Calm down, stupid heart,_** she scolded herself and the way her heart rate picked up each time Clarke smiled at her or laughed at something she said. It was becoming hard to constantly be around Clarke while having to restrain herself from kissing the girl.

She was confused above all else. Clarke had told her she wasn’t ready. That was about a month ago. But now, Clarke seemed to be more affectionate with her than before and Lexa couldn’t stop the small spark of hope that this ignited in her.

“Maybe I’m just imagining things” she thought aloud, figuring that she was probably projecting what she wanted to happen.

She looked at her reflection in the mirror and pulled out her phone to send a text to her sister.

**Lex - 11.23am:** _I’m confused_

**An - 11.24am:** _About what?_

**Lex - 11.24am:** _Clarke…_

Her phone rang and she slid her thumb across the screen to answer it.

_“I hate speaking through text messages”_

Lexa smiled, “I know”

_“What's wrong, sis?”_

Lexa frowned, “Do you think I should ask Clarke out again?”

_“Why are you asking me that?”_

Lexa sighed, “Because…” she trailed off, “...She told me she wasn’t ready yet when I first came to New York but I just need to know if she'll ever be ready or if that was just her way of letting me down gently”

_“Do you really think she would do that? Give you false hope, I mean”_

Lexa shook her head, “No, but…” she sighed again, “I just don’t know what she's thinking and I’m lost”

_“Ask her”_

“What? No way, that’s...that’s scary” Lexa's voice got quieter the longer she spoke.

_“I can’t believe people find you intimidating when you’re just a huge ball of sap”_

“People don’t find me intimidating” Lexa rolled her eyes.

_“Um...yes, they do”_ Anya countered, _“You scare the crap out of most people”_

“Whatever” Lexa said, “It’s not the point here” she reminded.

_“Lex, if you just ask her, she’ll probably tell you the truth. No need to get so nervous like that. That girl really likes you”_

“But only as a friend” Lexa mumbled.

_“You don’t know that”_

Lexa stayed silent for a while before a sigh pushed past her lips, “Okay, I’ll try”

_“You need to stop underestimating yourself, Lex. You're an amazing person and anyone would be lucky to be with you”_

“Thank you, An”

_“You’re welcome. Now go back to your girlfriend, you idiot”_

“Bye, Anya” Lexa said with a small laugh before hanging up the phone.

She put it back in her pocket and hesitantly opens the bathroom door to head back downstairs.

Clarke’s head snapped to the side when she heard Lexa’s steps, “It took you long enough” she joked.

“Yeah” Lexa rubbed the back of her neck, “My sister called, sorry”

“For a minute I thought you were stuck in there”

Lexa blushed and sat down on the couch, “Can we...can we talk?”

Clarke gave her an apologetic look, “Can it wait until after my shift? Because I’m gonna be late if I don’t head out now”

Lexa nodded, “Y-yeah, of course”

Clarke grinned, not picking up on the brunette’s slight disappointment, “I can drive you to your hotel if you want? It’s on my way”

“Sure” Lexa nodded, “Thank you”

 

 

\--------------

 

 

**Clarke - 2.33pm:** _Raven wants to hang out with me and the rest of my friends tonight. I thought I would offer you to come with us. What do you say?_

**Clarke - 2.33pm:** _You don’t have to if you don’t want to (but I swear my friends are nice and know how to behave)_

Lexa smiled down at her phone.

**Lex - 2.35pm:** _I’d love to meet your friends_

**Clarke - 2.37pm:** _You’re the absolute best, thank you_ :)

Dread suddenly settled in Lexa's chest. What if Clarke's friends didn’t like her? What if she made a huge fool of herself in front of those people? What would she even tell them?

“What did I do?” she asked herself.

**Clarke  - 2.39pm:** _Don’t be nervous about it btw. They're gonna love you_

Lexa had no idea how Clarke had guessed that she would be nervous about it but she was thankful for it. She tried to empty her head of those insecurities and told herself that it would be nice to meet some of Clarke's friends.

 

 

\-------------

 

 

Clarke jumped in surprise when she felt a tap on her shoulder and grinned when she saw Lexa standing behind her, the hood of the sweatshirt covering most of her face.

“You came!” she exclaimed, throwing her arms around Lexa's neck.

The actress laughed and, in turn, wrapped her arms around the blonde's waist, “I told you I’d be here, didn’t I?”

“I thought you’d freak out and end up not coming” Clarke said.

“I almost did” Lexa admitted.

Clarke tore herself away from Lexa and scooted to the right so that Lexa could take a seat at their table, in front of Octavia, Jasper, Monty, and Raven.

“Hi, everyone” the actress waved, “I’m-”

“Lexa Woods” Octavia completed for her. She then extended a hand towards Lexa, “My name is Octavia. I’m a big fan”

Lexa smiled, “Nice to meet you, Octavia”

Clarke smiled, “So you already know, Raven” she pointed at the other girl whose eyes seemed to be permanently fixed on Lexa, “This is Jasper” she motioned to the boy sitting next to Raven.

Jasper stared at Lexa in a way that made her feel extremely self-conscious, “...Hello?” she chanced a smile at him.

“You didn’t tell me you had hot friends, Clarke” Jasper suddenly said. He then turned towards Lexa and extended his hand, “I’m Jasper” he smiled at her.

Clarke slapped his hand, “Back off, Jasper” she warned him, “You’re not allowed to touch her. You can only watch”

Jasper pouted and slumped back in his seat, “Lame” he complained.

“Careful, Griffin, your jealousy is showing” Raven teased her.

Clarke blushed, “Shut up, Raven” she mumbled, ignoring Lexa's raised eyebrow, “This is Monty” she pointed at the man next to Jasper, “He’s the most civilized out of all of us”

Lexa laughed and shook his hand, “Nice to meet you, Monty”

“You too” he said, “And please, ignore Jasper. He’s a bit weird”

Jasper feigned offense and Clarke rolled her eyes at his antics, “And this guy right here,” she patted Bellamy’s shoulder, “is Octavia’s brother, Bellamy. He’s also one of my co-workers”

“Is that all I am to you?” Bellamy joked, making Clarke laugh.

“Hello” Lexa smiled awkwardly, feeling like she was intruding on a moment between the two.

Bellamy smiled at the actress, “You know, this one hasn’t shut up about you in months”

Clarke hit his shoulder, “Shut up, Bellamy” she hissed lowly.

Lexa smirked, “She has?”

Bellamy hummed positively and laughed when it earned him another slap on the arm.

Raven got up, “I’m getting drinks!” she announced, “Who wants what?” they loudly shouted their order and Raven rolled her eyes, “Not all at once”

They repeated one by one and Raven nodded before walking away. Monty went with her.

Jasper smiled at Lexa, “You forgot to order. I can go get you something”

Clarke shook her head, “Jasper, no”

“I don’t drink” Lexa simply told him.

The boy frowned, “Why?”

Lexa looked towards Clarke, panic evident in her eyes. Clarke gave her a reassuring smile and discreetly grabbed her hand under the table.

“None of your business, Jasper” Clarke dryly said, challenging him to say more with her eyes.

The boy scooted back in his seat and raised his arms up, “Okay, sorry” he apologized.

“It’s okay” Lexa assured him, “It’s just a bit too personal”

“Yeah, I understand” Jasper said, “I apologize”

Clarke sent him a thankful look and disentangled her hand from Lexa's, much to the actress’ disappointment.

Octavia leaned forward, “So...how is it being America’s most famous actress?” she asked, excitement clear in her eyes at the chance to speak one on one to a celebrity.

Lexa smiled nervously, “I’m not the most famous one” she denied, finding it difficult to accept such praise.

“Please” Octavia huffed, “You don’t have to be so modest”

Lexa smiled a bit and looked at the young woman, “It’s not always all bright and exciting like people make it out to be but I love my job”

Bellamy squinted his eyes at her. He was happy for Clarke that she had found a great friend in Lexa but his protective nature forced him to remain suspicious, “How did you two meet?” he asked.

Lexa looked towards Clarke, silently asking if she wanted her to reply to that, “We...we met on Twitter” she revealed, “I replied to her tweet and then we kind of just hit it off”

He hummed, “How long did it take for you to reveal who you really were?”

Lexa blinked twice, surprised by his slightly offensive tone, “Um...five months…”

“Five months?” he repeated in a disapproving voice.

Lexa blushed and shied away under his inquisitive stare. Clarke hit Bellamy’s arms, “Bell, what the hell?”

“What?” he said.

Octavia shook her head at her brother, “Chill, bro” she told him, “You’re ruining the mood right now”

“I just want to make sure Clarke won’t end up being hurt” he weakly defended himself.

“I appreciate it, Bellamy, but I can take care of myself just fine” Clarke said.

Lexa fidgeted uncomfortably on her seat, feeling like an intruder in this conversation. She didn’t know where to put herself. A soft hand slipping in hers slightly eased her worries. She gave Clarke a thankful smile and tightened her hold on Clarke’s hand.

“Yeah, I know” Bellamy ducked his head, “I’m sorry, Clarke”

Clarke shook her head, “It’s not me you should apologize to” she said.

Lexa opened her mouth to argue, “It’s not necess-”

Clarke hushed her, “Yes, it is”

Bellamy leaned forward to be able to look at Lexa, “I’m sorry, Lexa”

She smiled, “It’s okay” she then looked down at the table right when Raven came back with their drinks.

Raven rolled her eyes, “What did you say to her, Bellamy?”

The man had a look of offense on his face, “Why do you immediately assume I’m the one who did something?”

“Aren’t you?” Raven raised an eyebrow and he looked away, “I thought so” she said before claiming her seat back.

Lexa cleared her throat, “I just...I just wanted to say thank you for welcoming me amongst your group”

They all stared at her with small smiles until Raven exploded in laughter, “She’s funny” she pointed at Lexa.

The brunette blushed, “I wasn’t trying to be funny…” she mumbled.

Clarke squeezed her hand then pulled away, afraid that her hand had become sweaty. Lexa wanted to reach out again. Her hand was burning to do so but she refrained.

Conversation flowed smoothly after that and by the end of the evening, most of them were tipsy, or even drunk, except for Monty who always drank reasonably.

Clarke giggled happily at something Octavia had said and she leaned her head on Lexa's shoulder, unknowingly causing the brunette's heart to skip a beat, “I’m tired” Clarke complained, her voice a bit slurred.

Lexa angled her head towards her, “You want to go back home?” she quietly said.

Clarke shook her head and suddenly got up, “I wanna dance with you!” she exclaimed, grabbing Lexa's hand and tugging at it, pulling Lexa to her feet.

“Wait, Clarke-” Lexa said as she was pulled towards the far end of the bar where there was a small space to dance, “I don’t-”

Clarke dropped her arms around Lexa’s shoulders. Seeing that the actress was unresponsive, she rolled her eyes and grabbed Lexa's arms, placing them around her own waist.

“Clarke…” Lexa looked around awkwardly, “I don’t know how to dance” she admitted, ears red.

Clarke smiled, “It’s easy” she whispered into Lexa's ear and the close proximity was doing way too many things to the brunette.

Lexa kept her hands safely positioned on the small of Clarke's back, making sure not to let them slip any lower than that. She was the only one fully sober out of the group and she didn’t want to take advantage of the fact that Clarke was a bit past tipsy.

Everytime Clarke tried to get closer, Lexa would step back in order to put some much needed distance between them. She would combust otherwise.

The song changed to a slower one and Clarke stepped closer, pressing their bodies together. She rested her head on the actress's shoulder and sighed contentedly. Lexa breathed deeply and tried to control her erratic heartbeat to no avail. She scolded herself for being unable to maintain her cool around Clarke.

She flushed red when warm lips brushed against her neck and fingers played with the small hair on the nape of her neck.

“Clarke-” she said in a strangled voice.

“Shhh” Clarke whispered, “Just dance” she added before closing her eyes and swaying them gently.

Lexa smiled and tried to follow the movement, being careful not to step on Clarke's feet. Because of her lack of talent in dance, that’s something she could definitely do.

“Hey, lovebirds!” Raven shouted, “We’re leaving so get your asses over here!”

Clarke raised one arm to flip Raven the bird and then let it drop back on Lexa's shoulder, “Just a bit longer” she mumbled.

Lexa gladly obliged and they just kept swaying from side to side until the end of the song.

“You’re not that bad of a dancer” Clarke said, smiling brightly.

“You’re only saying this cause you’re drunk” Lexa laughed.

Clarke laughed and hugged the actress tightly, “Thank you for coming tonight” she whispered.

Lexa nodded, “Of course”

Clarke pulled away and her eyes fell to Lexa's lips for a second before she quickly shook her head and her lips split into a wide smile, “Let’s go!” she exclaimed, grabbing Lexa's hand.

The brunette was replaying the last ten seconds in her head. Did Clarke really stare at her lips or was it just a trick of her imagination?

_“Oomph”_ she let out when Raven hugged her with all her might. The mechanic would pursue the night at Octavia’s place.

“Goodbye, beautiful human being” Raven mumbled in her drunken state.

Lexa chuckled, “Bye, Raven”

She wished a goodnight to Clarke's friends and followed the blonde as they walked down the street to head back to the girl’s apartment.

“It was great” Clarke said with a bright smile.

Lexa returned the smile, “It really was. Thanks for inviting me”

“Don’t be silly” Clarke laughed, “Of course I was going to invite you”

Lexa let herself be guided through the streets of New York, still foreign to the city, “Wait...shouldn’t I go back to my hotel?”

Clarke halted in her steps, “You want to go back to the hotel?” she asked, a hint of disappointment in her voice.

“I mean...I don't want to be a bother to you” Lexa tried to explain as they neared the apartment building.

“Nonsense”

Clarke grabbed her hand and led her upstairs before unlocking her door to step inside her apartment.

“Mi casa es tu casa” she said, smiling brightly.

“Muchas gracias” Lexa replied, winking.

“You speak Spanish too?” Clarke exclaimed, eyes wide.

“Sólo un poco” she replied in a well-pronounced Spanish.

**_*Only a little*_ **

“So you’re telling me you can sing, act, speak French and speak Spanish? Is there anything you can’t do?” Clarke asked, in awe of the woman in front of her.

“Dance” Lexa said, laughing.

Clarke rolled her eyes, “You did pretty good earlier”

“Again, you’re only saying that because you’re drunk”

The blonde shook her head, “I’m not that drunk” she denied, “And I’m serious. You can dance pretty decently”

Lexa laughed, “It’s nice of you to lie to make me happy”

Clarke laughed then grew serious, her eyebrows scrunched up together, “Before I left for work, you said you wanted to talk to me about something” she yawned after pronouncing the words.

Lexa smiled, “It can wait” she said, “You’re too tired and not sober enough”

“I told you, I’m not drunk” Clarke argued.

“If you say so” Lexa laughed.

Clarke grabbed her hand, “Let’s get you some clothes to sleep in” she said before moving to go upstairs.

 

 

\-------------

 

 

“I can sleep on the couch” Lexa said after she had changed in Clarke's pajamas, “It’s no big deal really”

Clarke shook her head and pulled on Lexa's arm to get her to lie on the bed, “I need you as my personal teddy bear”

“Is that all I am to you?” Lexa joked, ignoring the way her body buzzed with excitement at the prospect of spending yet another night cuddled up to the blonde.

Clarke hummed positively, “You’re very comfortable” she commented, snuggling against the brunette's side, her head resting on her chest.

Lexa laughed, “Thank you”

She threaded a hand through blonde hair and started tracing random patterns against Clarke's scalp, drawing a pleased hum from the other girl who seemed to be on the verge of falling asleep.

“Goodnight, Lexa” Clarke mumbled sleepily.

“Goodnight, Clarke” the actress replied, trying to ignore the voice inside of her screaming that she wished they could be more than friends.

 

 

\------------

 

 

Clarke woke up and frowned when she realized the bed was empty. She could have sworn Lexa had been there last night.

She rubbed at her eyes and spotted a tiny piece of paper on the left corner of her nightstand. She picked it up and smiled at the neat handwriting on it.

 

_Good morning, Clarke. I’m sorry but I had to leave early this morning. My sister needed to speak with me about an upcoming event. I’ll probably be busy all day long because I also have to speak with one of my producers. He flew all the way here to speak with me in person so it must be important. I can join you after your shift if you want?_

_Have a nice day,_

_Lexa._

Clarke was disappointed but she understood that Lexa had responsibilities as an actress which she couldn’t run away from.

**Clarke - 10.12am:** _Have a nice day too! And sure, I’d love for you to meet me at the coffee shop. Should I give you the address?_

**Lexa - 10.13am:** _No need, I already know where it is_ :)

Clarke locked her phone and opened an internet tab as she stepped into the kitchen. She saw a picture of Lexa and clicked on the link attached to it.

 

**_Lexa Woods might just be the Best Actress of this Era_ **

 

Clarke's eyebrows shot up at that and a fond smile drew itself on her features as she flicked through the photos of the actress that had been uploaded in the article. Her smile disappeared when she read the comments below the article. Most of them were either degrading or extremely suggestive. She closed the tab quickly and put her phone back down on the kitchen table. She felt uncomfortable. Above all else, she wondered if Lexa knew of those comments and if so, how she managed to deal with that.

“I am so hungover!” Raven loudly announced as she walked into the apartment.

She stopped in her tracks when she saw Clarke, sitting at the kitchen counter, lost in her thoughts.

“What's up, Griffin?”

“Why are people online so disrespectful?” Clarke asked.

Raven shrugged, “Welcome to the equally amazing and depressing world of the internet. Why are you asking me that? Did something happen?”

Clarke showed her phone screen to her best friend, “Is that something that happens often?”

Raven shrugged, “Pretty much” she nodded, “People have no boundaries at all”

Clarke scowled, “That's gross. They don’t even know her and yet they're talking about...I can’t even say it” she made a disgusted face.

“People are pigs” Raven shrugged, “You want some?” she held up a box of cereal.

“No, thank you”

Raven leaned her elbows against the kitchen counter, “Anyway, how is it going with Woods? Made any progress?”

Clarke blushed, “Well...not really…”

Raven groaned, “I’ll be a pile of dust by the time you decide to give it a chance”

Clarke blushed harder, “I don’t know how to do this...I’ve never had to make the first step before”

“Poor you” Raven smirked, “And technically, she made the first step when she asked you out”

Clarke rolled her eyes, “You make it sound as if it’s simple. I can’t just kiss her out of nowhere, you know”

“Actually, I’m pretty sure this is something she would enjoy” Raven smirked and dodged it when Clarke tried to slap her arm, “I’m just saying, Griff, she looks at you with some serious heart eyes”

“She doesn't” Clarke denied.

“Keep lying to yourself but they're gonna start filming season four soon and I want to get a VIP pass to be there when they do it”

Clarke rolled her eyes, “Are you saying you're using me to get what you want?”

“That’s exactly what I’m saying” Raven poured herself a bowl of cereals.

“Asshole”

“Love you too, Griff” she briefly kissed the blonde’s cheek as she walked past her to sit in the living room’s couch.

 

 

\-------------

 

 

Lexa entered the room and frowned when she saw her castmate sitting in one of the two chairs positioned in front of the desk at which their producer sat, “Luna?" she turned towards her producer, "What is going on?” she asked him.

“Lexa, take a seat, please” he motioned to the chair left unoccupied.

She slowly sat down, eyeing the two other people in the room carefully, “So...what is this all about?” she curiously asked, trying and failing at not feeling hurt by the way Luna pointedly avoided her gaze.

“First of all, thank you for coming” the producer started, “We need both of your opinions on the script for season four”

“Why?” Luna asked and that's when Lexa understood that the other girl was just as much in the dark as she was.

“Because we want to take it in a...in an interesting direction one may say but we want to have your consent first”

“Okay…” Lexa said, a bit apprehensive of it, “Where do you want to take it?”

The producer handed a sheet of paper to them. It looked to be the draft of a part of the script.

“Your characters have been portrayed to be very close and we want to push that closeness further” he announced.

Lexa raised her eyes after reading the page, “You want our characters to date?” she asked dubiously.

The producer nodded, “We believe it could be interesting for the show and for the fans to go down that road”

Lexa was stunned into silence and Luna was oddly still next to her. **_Talk about awkward,_** Lexa thought to herself.

“What do you say?”

Lexa stuttered a few incoherent words out before shifting her gaze to Luna, “Lu?”

The other actress raised her gaze briefly and shrugged, “It’s fine by me” she quietly said.

The producer then turned his attention towards Lexa, “What about you, Lexa?” he asked.

The brunette slowly tore her eyes away from Luna and nodded a few times, “It’s okay...I don’t mind”

The producer smiled, “Great!” he loudly said, “Then it’s settled” he announced, “You will be warned if there are any new developments, of course”

Luna nodded once and all but ran out of the office. Lexa hurriedly got out of her seat, “Excuse me” she told her producer before following after her castmate. She shouted Luna's name but the girl didn’t turn around so Lexa accelerated the pace she was going at, “Luna!” she grabbed the girl's arm, turning her around. Suddenly, she had no idea what to say. Her friend was looking at her expectantly but she was at loss for words.

Luna huffed and started turning around.

“No, wait!” Lexa exclaimed, “Are you...are you really okay with this?” she asked, concerned.

“Okay with what, Lexa?” Luna crossed her arms in front of her chest, “Having to play your love interest and pretend I don’t have feelings for you in real life?”

Lexa took a step back, “What…” she frowned, “Why didn’t you tell the producer that you didn't want to do it?”

“Because I want to keep my job” Luna dryly said, “Unlike you, I’m not assured to be on the show for many seasons to come”

“You're a great actress” Lexa said, “They wouldn’t fire you for such a trivial reason”

“Clearly you don’t know how this works. They make it sound like it’s your choice but the second you disagree with them, you’re out”

“Lu…” Lexa tried to reach out and surprisingly, the girl didn’t pull away when Lexa grabbed her hand, “I can go back and tell him that we're not doing it if it really makes you uncomfortable”

“It doesn’t make me uncomfortable” Luna argued, “It’s you that this puts in a weird situation”

“Why?”

“Because it can’t be fun having to kiss someone you don’t like” Luna deadpanned.

Lexa grabbed her hand and led her in an empty, secluded room to make sure their conversation could remain private, “Luna...I never wanted this” she sighed, referring to the tension between them, “Is there anything I can do?”

Luna sighed, “I’ve been an asshole to you” she looked down, “Why are you still trying with me?”

Lexa stepped closer, “Because, even if it’s not in the way you want, I do love you and I hate knowing I somehow hurt you”

“You’re way too kind for your own good” Luna commented.

Lexa stepped even closer, “I'm truly sorry, Luna” she apologized once again.

Luna shook her head, “It’s okay. I’m just being childish. I can’t force you to return my feelings and I know that. It’s just so me to always fall for the straight ones” she rolled her eyes.

Lexa opened her mouth, then closed it. **_Oh fuck it,_** she told herself, “I’m not straight”

Luna’s head snapped up towards her and Lexa instantly clapped a hand against her mouth, mumbling _shit_ against it.

“You’re not straight?” Luna repeated, not sure she heard right.

Lexa laughed nervously and looked behind her, “I, um, I gotta go. Sorry” she said before fleeing, running as fast as her feet would carry her.

“Lexa, wait!”

She ignored Luna's calls of her name and kept running, exiting the building quickly. She hid behind the back facade and pulled out her phone.

_“Hey, Lex”_

“I think I made a mistake” Lexa said in panic.

_“What? Hold on, Lexa, calm down”_ Clarke said, _“What happened?”_

Lexa didn’t know why her first instinct was to call Clarke when usually, she would have asked Anya for help. Then again, she wasn’t exactly surprised by it, “Can you come get me?” she asked.

_“Sure, where are you?”_

Lexa gave her the address and slid against the wall, burying her face in her hands. She had no idea if she felt relieved to have spoken the words aloud or if what she felt was fear. Probably a mix of both.

Ten minutes later, she heard the sound of tires and of a car stopping at the front of the building. Her phone was blowing up with messages from both Clarke and Luna.

**Lu - 1.45pm:** _Where r u?_

**Lu - 1.47pm:** _This doesn’t change anything. Can we talk?_

She laughed at how the roles were reversed. Suddenly, Luna was the one who wanted to talk and Lexa was the one who cowardly avoided her.

**Clarke - 1.50pm:** _I’m parked in front. Where are you?_

**Lu - 1.51pm:** _Please, Lex. It’s just me_

She typed out a reply to Clarke.

**Lexa - 1.51pm:** _I’m at the back of the building_

Only a minute later, Clarke came running towards her. She crouched down and took Lexa's hands in hers, “What's wrong?”

Lexa looked down and tears escaped her eyes, “I’m scared” she admitted through her sobs.

Clarke had never seen her like this. Lexa always seemed so composed and like she could handle just about anything but here she was, vulnerable as ever. She wrapped her arms around the brunette and tangled her fingers in brown hair, “It’s okay” she whispered.

Lexa nodded against her shoulder and tightly gripped at the back of her sweatshirt, “She…” she inhaled shakily.

Clarke moved a hand up and down her back, “You’re okay” she murmured, “You don’t have to tell me. Let’s just get you home”

Lexa didn’t comment on the fact that Clarke had called her apartment _home._ She simply followed after the blonde, their hands clasped together. Clarke opened the car door for her and walked around the car to climb into the driver seat. Lexa leaned her head against the window and looked outside at the changing scenery. She was thankful that Clarke hadn’t drowned her in questions.

When they pulled up to the blonde's apartment building, Lexa took in a shaky breath and closed her eyes. Her phone dinged in her pocket and she didn’t bother verifying who it was.

Clarke unbuckled her seatbelt and left the car. She opened Lexa's car door and grabbed her hand to help her up after unbuckling the girl's seatbelt despite Lexa's complaints that she could do it herself. She locked the car and they stepped into the elevator.

The ride up was silent. Clarke stole glances at her from time to time.

When the elevator stopped on third floor, Clarke stepped out and slipped a hand in Lexa's, pulling her along. She unlocked her door and guided them in, kicking the door close behind her. She then took off her jacket and hung it next to Raven’s. Lexa mimicked her actions.

“Lexa!” Raven exclaimed, moving to hug the actress but Clarke put a hand on the girl's chest.

“Not now, Raven” she calmly said.

“Oh...okay” Raven nodded, finally seeing the dejected look on Lexa's face, “Sorry” she apologized.

Clarke led Lexa upstairs and instructed her to sit on the bed. She opened the small fridge she had in her room and retrieved a chocolate bar. The same one Lexa had with her when they were at the airport a little over a month ago.

“It’s for you” Clarke quietly said, “I had a couple of those left and I know you like them”

Lexa accepted the sweet with a shy smile, “Thank you” she said, her voice barely above a whisper.

The bed dipped slightly when Clarke sat down next to the actress. She silently watched as Lexa unwrapped the chocolate bar and took a small bite of it.

“Is it as good as the one you had at the airport?” she bumped her shoulder against Lexa's.

“Debatable” Lexa said, a tiny smile forming on her lips.

Clarke laughed a bit. She watched with a small smile as Lexa ate the chocolate bar bit by bit. She looked so young and fragile in that moment that Clarke was hesitant to even touch her.

“Thank you” Lexa whispered in a shaky voice when she finished eating.

Clarke's heart broke when she noticed the silent tears rolling down her cheeks. She raised a hand and wiped them away with her thumb.

“I messed up” Lexa said, crying harder now, “I messed up” she repeated.

Clarke scooted closer and wrapped her arms around her, “Shhh, it’s okay” she whispered, “Do you want to talk about it?”

Silence.

“You don’t have to” Clarke added.

“I told Luna and now-” a sob cut her off, “Now I’m scared”

Clarke was confused, “You told Luna? What did you tell-” understanding fell on her, “Oh”

She pulled away and put her hands on Lexa's. The actress’ eyes were angled towards the covers of her bed.

“Lexa, look at me” Clarke softly asked, “Why are you scared? I thought you told me she liked you. Surely she won’t react badly”

“She's gonna tell every- everyone” Lexa said, inhaling shakily.

Clarke shook her head, “Maybe she won’t” she told the actress, “What makes you think she'll tell everyone?”

Lexa shrugged and wiped at her eyes with the back of her hand.

Her phone dinged with a new text message and Lexa ignored it. Clarke saw Luna's name on the screen and quickly read the content of the text before the screen became black again.

“Lex, I think you should read that” Clarke handed the phone to the actress who took it hesitantly.

She had three new messages from Luna

 

**Lu - 1.57pm:** _Please, text me back_

**Lu - 1.57pm:** _I don’t care about all of this_

 

**Lu - 2.19pm:** _I won’t tell anyone if that’s what you're worried about. I would never do that to you_

 

Lexa stared at the screen in silence for a few seconds before nodding and looking down at her hands, “I’m tired” she complained.

“Do you want to sleep?” Clarke asked.

Lexa shook her head, “I’m tiring of hiding and lying and...everything” her shoulders slumped.

Clarke hugged her tightly, “It’s gonna be okay, I promise” she whispered.

“I wish I was strong like you” Lexa mumbled dejectedly.

“You _are_ strong” Clarke argued, tightening the embrace, “You’re stronger than most of the people I know”

“Then why doesn’t it feel like it?”

Her voice sounded desperate and Clarke wished she knew how to comfort her. She really wished she did.

“No one asks you to have it all figured out right now. It’s normal to have doubts. We all have them and it doesn't make you any less strong”

Lexa seemed unconvinced.

“I’ve said it already but I’ll say it again and again until you get it into your thick skull; there is no set time to come out. You’ll do that on your own terms and no one, _no one,_ can tell you when and where you're supposed to do it”

“How did you do it?” Lexa asked in a small voice.

Clarke laughed, “That was accidental actually” she reminisced, “My dad caught me kissing a girl in my room and started telling the whole neighborhood how proud he was of his bisexual daughter” she smiled at the memory, “And other people have been very accepting when I told them”

Lexa smiled, “Your dad sounds like an amazing man” she said.

Clarke smiled, “He is. I should introduce you to him someday”

Lexa nodded, “Yeah, maybe someday” she buried her face in the crook of Clarke's neck, “Thank you, Clarke”

“Anytime” the blonde said, “Are you sure you don't want to sleep for a bit? You look tired”

"Okay" Lexa said, “Will you stay with me?” she asked, a blush on her cheeks.

Clarke pulled away and smiled at her, “Of course” she started settling into the bed, pulling the covers up so that Lexa could also slip under it.

Lexa fell asleep almost instantly and, in her sleep, she wrapped one of her arms around Clarke's waist and cuddled up to her.

Clarke quickly shot a text to Bellamy to ask him to cover her shift at the coffee shop.

 

 

\--------------

 

 

“I’m not letting you go back there alone” Clarke said, crossing her arms in front of her chest, “It’s late and it’s getting dark”

Lexa huffed, “I can handle myself just fine” she said as Clarke got on the tip of her toes to put a beanie on top of the brunette's head, “I don’t need a beanie”

Clarke rolled her eyes, “It’s cold outside and it has started snowing so yes, you need a beanie. And gloves” she added, handing the latter to the brunette.

“It started snowing!?” Lexa exclaimed, rushing towards the window to admire the snowflakes falling down onto the streets, “Wow” she breathed out.

Clarke laughed, “Have you never seen snow?” she asked.

Lexa pouted, “I just love snow. Don't make fun of me” she said, “How come it’s already snowing? It’s only mid-November”

Clarke shrugged, “Fucked up weather” was all she said, “Now come on, the snow is even more beautiful when you're outside”

“You know what else is beautiful?” Lexa wiggled her eyebrows.

“I swear to God, if you say _you,_ I’ll stop talking to you for two whole days”

“I was going to say the sunset but you're beautiful too” Lexa grinned.

Clarke rolled her eyes, “Hurry up, charmer” she said from the threshold, “I need to escort you back to your hotel before Anya rips my head off”

“She wouldn’t” Lexa said. Clarke raised an eyebrow, “She would rip your _hand_ off” Lexa added with a smile.

Clarke smiled, “Just come here, you idiot”

Truth was, Clarke loved this. She loved seeing Lexa smile again. She had been really worried after Lexa's small breakdown in the beginning of the afternoon. It was really nice to see the actress laugh and joke around again.

Lexa's eyes lit up with excitement when they stepped outside and into the snow. A glint of mischief appeared in her eyes and she gathered some snow in her glove-covered hands, rolling it into a snowball before throwing it at Clarke.

“Lexa!” Clarke hissed, covering her face with her arms, “You, jerk!” she shouted before dodging the next snowball that was thrown at her. It landed on the hood of a car and Clarke winced, “Oops” she said before laughing a little and using the snow at her feet to make a snowball.

She looked around but Lexa was nowhere to be seen.

“Lexa?” she started stepping further, looking behind cars and in between buildings.

Suddenly, she felt something cold in the back of her neck and let out a small scream. She turned around abruptly and fixed Lexa with a fake glare, “Oh no, you didn’t” she threw her snowball at the actress who bent forward to dodge it as she ran, loud laughter leaving her mouth.

Clarke stayed still for a couple seconds, relishing in the sound of it and Lexa took advantage of that to throw another snowball at her, this time right on her stomach.

“This means war” Clarke announced, hiding behind one of the car parked along the street.

Lexa laughed, “Try to get me, Griffin!” she shouted in the otherwise quiet street.

A window opened with a loud, frightening sound above their heads and a middle-aged woman stuck her head out of it, scowling at them, “There are people who are trying to sleep!” she shouted before slamming the window shut.

Lexa dropped the snowball she was holding and walked towards Clarke with wide eyes. Both girls exploded in laughter at the same time.

“I can’t believe this” Clarke said through her laughter.

Lexa smirked, “Guess you won’t be able to get your revenge now” she teased.

“Oh, really?” Clarke said before revealing the snowball she was still holding in her hand and smashing it onto the brunette's beanie.

Lexa pouted, “No fair” she complained, taking off her beanie to shake the snow off of it, “You cheated”

“I outsmarted you, that’s all” Clarke shrugged before walking away, mockingly flipping her hair above her shoulder.

Lexa hummed non-committedly and put the beanie back on before shoving her hands into the pockets of the coat Clarke landed to her, claiming that Lexa's jacket wasn’t nearly warm enough for this kind of weather.

She caught up with Clarke and they started walking alongside of each other, the snow making small sounds as it was crushed  under their weight each step they took.

Lexa raised a hand and caught a snowflake on her finger. She barely had time to admire it before it melted because of her body temperature. She repeated the action multiple times and even tried catching them with her nose. Clarke laughed at how silly she was acting and she bumped her shoulder against the actress’.

“You're ridiculous” she said, giggling.

“I simply find happiness in the small things, Clarke” Lexa countered, smiling brightly. She then ran towards the hood of a car which was covered in snow and started drawing something on it.

“What are you doing?” Clarke asked curiously, trying to get a glimpse of it.

“You’ll see” Lexa said, sliding her finger in the snow, “Done!” she proudly announced, stepping aside.

Clarke moved closer and smiled widely when she saw their initials in a heart, “You’re such a sap, oh my god” she laughed.

“You like it, Griffin” Lexa said, “Don’t try to deny it”

“I like you” Clarke blurted out.

Lexa's jaw dropped slightly and her eyes were suddenly glued to the girl standing in front of her. She was unable to look away.

The snow was falling onto Clarke's head, covering her hair in snowflakes and Lexa wanted to comment on the fact that Clarke was a hypocrite for making her wear a beanie when she herself wasn’t wearing one, but she couldn’t seem to be able to form words in that moment. The sound of cars driving down the street sounded distant to them, almost like a background noise, as their eyes bore into one another.

The lamppost was illuminating half of Clarke's face and it allowed Lexa to see a bit of the girl's piercing blue eyes. In that moment, Lexa found her even more breathtaking than usual. She would never get over how truly beautiful Clarke was.

Their hearts were pounding so fast that someone could have perceived the sound of it, had they been listening intently. As for Lexa, her hands grew shakier with each passing second.

It all happened very fast but to Lexa, it felt like years had gone by between the moment Clarke moved forward and the moment she grabbed the back of Lexa's neck and joined their lips.

Lexa had never been kissed with such delicacy, with such gentleness. She melted into the kiss and breathed through her nose as she wrapped her arms around Clarke's body, trying to fully erase the distance between them. A tear escaped her eye as their lips slowly slid together. Clarke's lips were unbelievably soft against her own.

Her head was spinning. She couldn’t believe this was really happening.

She let out a quiet noise of protest when Clarke slowly pulled away. Kissing Clarke was earth-shattering and she never wanted this feeling to go away. Her eyes stayed shut, wanting to stay in that moment a bit longer, and her lips were still slightly parted when a cold hand brushed some of her hair away from her face and a thumb wiped at her wet cheek.

“Lexa” Clarke's voice came out in a whisper, “Look at me” she murmured.

Lexa's lips were still tingling from the kiss. Her eyes fluttered open and she caught sight of the most beautiful shade of blue she had ever seen.

Lexa stared at her in complete awe and in immense disbelief of what had just happened, “Clarke…” she breathed out.

“I’m ready now” Clarke whispered, resting her forehead against Lexa's, “I really like you and I want to give this a chance...if you still want to” she added the last part hesitantly.

Lexa didn’t need to be told twice. She instantly nodded, her eagerness not concealed in the slightest, “Yes! Yes, I still want to. Of course I still want to” a bright smile split her lips.

Clarke laughed, “Great” she whispered before engulfing Lexa in a tight hug which made Lexa feel warm despite the low temperature of that November night.

“You like me” Lexa said, then she giggled, smiling like an idiot.

“You're not as badass as you look” Clarke laughed, “You’re actually just a huge dork. An immense pile of sap”

Lexa didn’t even try to refute her claims. She held onto the blonde's waist tightly, adamant to not let go, not even for a second.

“Yeah but I’m _your_ immense pile of sap” she grinned.

Clarke laughed, “That was awful”

“Are you saying you don’t like my sense of humor?” Lexa asked, face buried in the girl's neck.

Clarke shook her head, “I like it” she said, “But it’s awful and you know it”

They stayed like this for awhile, slightly swaying from side to side. Lexa started laughing, “Clarke?”

“Hm?” Clarke hummed.

“We’re dancing” Lexa giggled, happiness coursing through her body.

“Yeah, and?”

“There's no music”

“We don’t need it”

Lexa smiled and grabbed Clarke's hand to lead the dance, moving in circles across the pavement.

“I thought you said you couldn’t dance” Clarke commented.

“I can’t” Lexa shrugged, “I’m very good at pretending I can, though” she grinned when this drew a laugh from Clarke.

“I think you're doing pretty well” Clarke left a kiss in the crook of the brunette's neck, leaving tingles on her skin.

“You really are ready?” Lexa asked, “I don’t want you to think you have to be. It’s okay if you don-”

Her rambling was cut off when lips briefly locked with her own, “Shut up” Clarke murmured, joining her hands behind Lexa's neck, “I’m sure of what I want”

“What’s that?” Lexa asked, still a bit dazed from the kiss.

“You” Clarke answered, letting her head rest on the brunette's chest as they resumed swaying gently from side to side.

After a little while, Clarke started trembling in Lexa's arms and they both decided to continue their walk towards Lexa's hotel. It wasn’t very far from where they were and five minutes later, they had arrived, five minutes of stealing shy glances at each other and of happy smiles.

Lexa leaned against the door of her room, “Are you sure you can go back to your apartment alone? It’s dark” she worriedly told Clarke.

“Well, I’m not going to make you go back with me” Clarke laughed.

“You could stay the night” Lexa said in a rush of confidence.

Clarke hesitated, “I’m not sure it’s a good idea”

Lexa blushed, “Oh no, I didn’t mean it like that. God, I would never imply something like that” she hurried to say, “I just...I want to spend more time with you” she shyly admitted.

Clarke smiled. She pulled out her phone. Lexa watched in confusion as Clarke typed something on it.

**Clarkey - 10.23pm:** _I won’t be home tonight. I’m staying with Lexa._

**Rae - 10.23pm:** _Get it, girl_ ;)

Clarke rolled her eyes at her best friend and locked her phone before raising an expectant eyebrow, “What are you waiting for?”

Lexa frowned.

“Aren’t you going to let me in?” Clarke clarified.

“You’re staying?” Lexa's smile grew.

Clarke nodded and watched, amused, as Lexa fumbled with the keycard and quickly opened the door.

“After you” Lexa said, stepping aside to let her enter first.

“Thank you” Clarke smiled down as she stepped inside, “It’s not too bad”

Lexa laughed, “It’s one of their best rooms. I sure hope it’s not too bad”

Clarke grabbed the collar of Lexa's shirt and tugged on it. She pecked her lips, “Where can I find something to sleep in?” she then lowly asked.

Lexa gulped and pointed towards her suitcase, “I-In there” she flushed red when Clarke kissed her cheek in thanks.

They took turns in the bathroom to get changed and to take a quick shower. Once it was done, Lexa hesitantly stood next to the bed Clarke was already lying in.

“What are you standing there for?” Clarke asked, patting the space next to her on the bed, “Get in, you big idiot”

Lexa slowly slid next to Clarke on the bed, keeping a reasonable distance.

“You’re weird” Clarke commented.

“Why?”

“Because one would think you'd be more comfortable with closeness after I kissed you”

“I-I didn’t know if you'd be comfortable with it” Lexa stuttered out, rubbing the back of her neck.

Clarke rolled her eyes and moved closer to the actress, “Scoot back” she instructed so that she could rest her head on the same pillow as Lexa, “See? Isn’t this better?”

Lexa smiled and nodded, “Yeah” she smiled. It was silent for only a few seconds, “Clarke?”

“Yes?”

“Can I kiss you?”

Clarke smiled, “Please” she said.

Lexa placed a hand on Clarke's cheek and moved closer until she could lock their lips with a simple tilt of her head. At the contact of their lips, she sighed through her nose, her free hand finding purchase on the blonde’s hip.

She kept it chaste, not wanting to make Clarke uncomfortable in any way and when they pulled away, Lexa had a dreamy smile on her face, “Thank you” she whispered.

Clarke laughed loudly, “Did you just thank me for letting you kiss me?”

Lexa hesitated, “...Yes?”

Clarke pecked her nose, red from the cold of outside, “You’re very cute” she said, tracing her index finger along the brunette's jawline.

Clarke was so close that their noses brushed together and their breaths mingled. If Clarke had closed her eyes, Lexa's were still open, taking in the other girl's peaceful face.

“I really, really like you” Lexa confessed in a whisper.

“I really like you too” Clarke replied, kissing her jaw.

It didn’t take long for Clarke to fall asleep. It was a bit more difficult for Lexa who kept replaying in her head the recent events, a goofy grin firmly plastered on her face.

Clarke's body was half resting on her own and the girl's arm was sprawled across her stomach. Lexa looked at the sleeping girl a bit longer before closing her eyes too. She smiled when she felt lips ghosting the skin of her neck.

Yeah, this girl would definitely be the death of her.

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So.....this finally happened. I hope it was worth the wait. This chapter is probably the one I'm most nervous and most excited to post because I really hope you will like it. Don't hesitate to leave a comment, they always manage to make me happy :)


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This update took forever and I would like to apologize for that. I thought I would be able to post it a week ago but I didn't have time and then I had to welcome a Spanish girl in Belgium for a week for our linguistic exchange program and it kind of took up all of my free time (showing her the city and stuff). Sorry again

 

 

Clarke opened her eyes slowly and grinned when she remembered where she was and the events of last night. She snuggled closer to the sleeping girl beside her and sighed contentedly. 

Kissing Lexa was the best decision she had made in a while. She had never felt that way from just kissing someone. 

She glanced up when she felt Lexa stir on the bed, her movements causing Clarke to move with her, “Hey” the blonde said when green eyes fluttered open. 

Lexa smiled, then her eyebrows furrowed in thought, “Please, tell me last night wasn’t a dream. It wasn’t, was it?” 

Clarke moved closer and left a chaste kiss on Lexa's lips, “Does that answer your question?”

Lexa's eyes were bright and filled with unconcealed happiness as she nodded and leaned up for another kiss, “We should talk” she then said when their lips disconnected. 

“You really want to talk right now?” Clarke asked with a knowing smile. 

“That’s the last thing I want to do right now but we have to” Lexa reasoned.

Clarke sighed and nodded her assent, “Yeah, you’re right” she sat up, “What do you want to talk about?” 

Lexa grabbed Clarke's hand and started playing with her fingers as she talked, brushing her thumb over them, “I want to be with you” she spoke softly, “To really be with you” 

“So do I” Clarke assured her. 

“You do?” 

Clarke hummed and her heart jumped at the blinding smile she received from the actress in return. 

“I just need to know how exactly you want to do this. Like, are you even okay with having a long distance relationship? It’s not easy and there are-” 

Clarke cut her rambling by pressing their lips together, “I just want to be with you. We’ll deal with the obstacles as they come, alright?” 

“There's something you need to know” Lexa quietly said, “If you want to be with me” 

Clarke nodded, “What is it?” 

“I’m not ready to come out yet and quite frankly, I don’t know if I'll ever be so if you can’t deal with that, you should tell me right now” 

Clarke shook her head, “I don’t care” she told the brunette, “I’ll wait for when you are ready to come out, even if it takes years” 

Lexa smiled, “Thank you, Clarke” neither of them missed out on the fact that Clarke had just emitted the possibility of them being together for years. 

The blonde shook her head, “It’s normal” she said, “But there's something else you're not telling me” 

Lexa sighed, “How did you guess?” 

Clarke shrugged, “You have this look on your face when you're hesitant to say something” 

Lexa looked down at their joined hands, “I’m a celebrity. That means rumors will be popping out of nowhere, lies will spread quickly. I don’t want the media world to destroy this” she gestured at the two of them. 

“It won’t” Clarke stated with confidence, “Not if we don’t let it” 

Lexa lifted Clarke's hand to press a kiss on the palm of it, “There's one last thing. Yesterday...My producer called to have a meeting with me and Luna” she started explaining. 

“Yeah? What about?” 

“They want our characters to date on the show” 

Lexa raised her gaze to gauge Clarke's reaction. There was nothing that betrayed any kind of doubt or anger in Clarke's eyes, just a silent probing for her to continue. 

“I know it could be weird for you because she has feelings for me and I don’t want this to eventually cause issues between us” 

“I don’t have an issue with it” Clarke told her in all honesty, “You don’t have feelings for her. It’s just acting” she reasoned. 

Lexa nodded, “Are you sure you want something like that? I’m pretty difficult to deal with. It’s not too late to back down” 

“I’ll manage” Clarke said before pulling on Lexa's collar to bring her closer, “Now how about we continue what you started?” 

Lexa smiled and moved forward to kiss Clarke once more, sighing at the feeling of their lips moving slowly together. 

“Will you let me take you on a date?” Lexa asked when they pulled away, resting her forehead against the blonde's. 

Clarke nodded, “I’d love that” 

Lexa grinned from ear to ear, “I’m really happy right now” she excitedly said, “It feels surreal”

“Don’t turn soft on me, Woods” Clarke lightly punched her arm, “You're supposed to have game” 

“I don’t need game anymore” Lexa said with a blinding smile, “I got the girl” she said, eyes shining with happiness. 

Clarke rolled her eyes at her, “You're just a five year old trapped in the body of a twenty-four year old woman”

Lexa laughed, “Kind of, yeah” 

The actress's phone beeped and she sighed, moving away from Clarke to answer the call. 

“Hello?” she said, not checking who was calling her. 

 _“Lex”_ Luna's voice came through the phone, _“I’ve been trying to call you for all of yesterday”_

Lexa froze. She sat down on the bed and put the phone down on the bedside table. She faintly heard Luna speaking through the phone. 

“What's wrong?” Clarke asked, eyebrows furrowed, as she moved closer to Lexa on the bed. 

Lexa pressed end on the call and shook her head, rolling on her side, her back turned to Clarke. 

“Hey” Clarke gently called, “Don’t shut me out. Please” she scooted towards Lexa and wrapped her arms around the actress's middle, hugging her from behind. 

Lexa's body relaxed into the embrace and she let out a deep sigh, “I don’t want to deal with that right now” 

Clarke nodded against her shoulder blades, “And you don’t have to but don’t you think it would ease your worries to have a conversation with her about it?” 

She felt Lexa stiffen in her arms and started backtracking. 

“Sorry, it was not my place to say this” she apologized. 

Lexa shook her head and gripped Clarke's arms when the latter started retracting them, “No wait, you’re right” she looked down, “But it’s so scary” 

“I know” Clarke said, “But it might be the thing you need right now” she swiped Lexa's hair away and kissed the nape of her neck. 

The actress's phone rang once more and she turned around, an unspoken question written in her eyes. 

Clarke rested their foreheads together, “You do what you feel is right” she said, “I can’t force you to do something you don't want to do” 

Lexa took a deep breath before rolling around to grab her phone and answer the call, “Hello, Lu” she quietly and very shyly said into the phone. From the corner of her eyes, she could see Clarke nodding encouragingly at her. 

 _“Lexa, I’m sorry”_ Luna started saying, _“I’m sorry I made you feel like you had to be afraid to be yourself around me”_

“No that’s not-” 

_“And I swear to you that it won’t ever change anything. I will respect your decision if you choose to keep it a secret. I won’t tell a soul because I know how scary it is and I don’t want you to be outed like I was”_

Lexa blinked, “You were…” 

 _“Someone whom I thought was my friend told the whole school about it when I was fifteen”_ Luna told her, _“And I know how scary it is. I know the feeling of betrayal that being outed causes. I don’t wish that for anyone, especially not you”_

Lexa stayed silent. She was processing the information. 

_“Lex?”_

“I’m sorry it happened like that for you” was all Lexa could say.

 _“It was a long time ago. It doesn’t matter now”_ Luna said, _“I just wanted to tell you that you don't have to be afraid that I know. I won’t tell anyone unless you ask me to”_

“Thank you, Luna” 

 _“Of course”_ the girl said, _“And I’m sorry for reacting like a child to your rejection. I could have dealt with it much better. I apologize”_

“It’s okay” Lexa said, “It’s not important” 

 _“It is”_ Luna argued, _“I hurt you. I didn’t mean to and I’m sorry. I still want to be your friend. If you want to, that is”_

“Yes” Lexa said, nodding quickly, “Yeah, I’d like that. I don’t want to lose you” 

 _“You won't”_ Luna said, _“I have to go now but we'll see each other soon, alright?”_

“Okay” 

_“Take care, Lex”_

“You too” the actress replied before the line went dead. 

She let out a deep, shaky breath of relief and held her phone tightly in her hand until gentle fingers pried her phone away from her and put it on the nightstand. 

“See? It went well, didn't it?” Clarke smiled. 

Lexa nodded and mirrored her smile, “Yeah...it did” 

“Now, what do you say we go out for breakfast?” Clarke suggested, “I know just the place” 

Lexa smiled, “I’d like that very much”

 

 

\-------------

 

 

Lexa laughed when they came to a stop, “So this is the place that you know? Your workplace?” she motioned towards the coffee shop. 

“What can I say? I’m a loyal employee” Clarke shrugged. 

Lexa smiled and followed her. She could only make a few steps before a group of girls stepped in her line of vision. 

“Oh my God, can we have an autograph?” one of them asked, pulling out a notebook, “And a picture, please?” she added with hopeful eyes, the other girls nodding along to her words. 

“Sure” Lexa smiled. She quickly signed and stood in the middle of the group to take a picture together. 

Clarke stayed back and watched with a small smile. It was obvious meeting fans was something Lexa loved doing. 

“Are you her friend?” one of the girls asked Clarke. 

The blonde smirked at the actress when she answered, “Yeah, I’m her _friend”_  

Once the group of girls had politely retreated to their own seats to give Lexa some privacy, the actress came to sit at Clarke's table, opposite the girl. 

“Sorry about that” she apologized. 

“Don’t apologize. It was nice to see” Clarke grinned, “I sometimes forget that you're famous” 

“That’s a good thing” Lexa smiled, “I don't want you to see me as a celebrity or anything like that” 

“I really want to kiss you” Clarke admitted in a rush of bravery, “But I won’t” she added when she saw Lexa looking around at the other patrons in slight panic.

“I’m sorry to impose that on you” Lexa said, “I know it can’t be easy on you” 

Clarke shrugged, “It’s alright” she assured the actress, “I’ll just have to restrain myself” 

An employee whom Clarke had worked with a couple times in the past came over to take their orders and barely managed to conceal his excitement at seeing Lexa Woods in person. He tried to the best of his abilities to keep a professional mask on. Clarke laughed when she watched him walk away as slowly as possible, his wide eyes fixed on Lexa. 

Lexa, oblivious to it, took a deep breath before speaking her next words, “Would you want to come with me to Los Angeles after this week?” 

Clarke blinked a few times, “You want me to come to LA with you?” 

The actress nodded, “I didn’t want to ask that of you before but then you kissed me and I just...don’t want to leave you just yet” 

“I don't want you to leave either” Clarke admitted, “But how would this work? Isn’t your schedule going to be crazy? How do I fit in that?” 

Lexa opened her mouth and closed it, “I...I don’t know...I just know that I want to be with you. I want to make this work more than anything” 

Clarke's eyes softened considerably. She went to grab Lexa's hand but refrained when she remembered they were in a public place. 

Lexa saw it, however. She scooted her chair closer, “Give me your hand” she quietly said and she grabbed Clarke's hand under the table, brushing her thumb against the skin of it. 

Lexa's eyes connected with blue ones, sincerity seeping through her gaze. 

She spoke her next words with utmost gentleness, “I don’t know what the future holds. I don't know how we can make this work. I know it’ll be hard but you’re so worth it” 

Clarke smiled brightly, eyes shining with emotion, “I want to make this work too” she said, “So much” 

Lexa mirrored her smile, “Clarke...I wanted to wait until after our first date but uhm...Will you…will you be my girlfriend?” she asked, “Officially” she added, nerves audible in her voice. 

Clarke grinned, “Yes” she nodded, “Of course” 

The waiter interrupted their moment when he arrived with their drinks, placing the glasses on the table while not so subtly eyeing Lexa admiringly. He shot a look at Clarke that screamed _How the hell do you know Lexa Woods?_  

The actress didn’t notice, though. She was much too busy replaying Clarke's last words in her mind and trying to get herself to believe that yes, Clarke had just agreed to be her girlfriend. 

It was going to be hard spending the remainder of their breakfast without kissing her, especially now that she knew what Clarke's lips felt like against her own. 

Lexa hurried to eat her food once it arrived and Clarke laughed, “Wow, what’s the hurry?” she asked.

Lexa looked up, mouth full, “What?” she asked, the word mumbled because of the food in her mouth.

“You're gonna choke with how fast you're eating” Clarke grabbed a napkin to wipe at the maple syrup on the corner of Lexa's mouth.

Lexa smiled, “I want to get out of here”

Clarke raised an eyebrow, “Yeah? What for?”

“So that I can kiss my girlfriend” Lexa spoke the words with a proud grin.

Clarke laughed and her hand lingered near Lexa's cheek before she retrieved it and dropped the napkin on the table. She finished eating her breakfast purposely slowly, smirking to herself when she saw Lexa's eyes linger on her lips.

“You’re doing this on purpose” Lexa accused.

“What am I doing on purpose?” Clarke pretended not to understand.

“Eating slowly” Lexa said.

“I don't know what you're talking about” Clarke smirked teasingly, “I’m just enjoying this meal. You know how they say breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Is there an issue?”

Lexa gulped when Clarke’s tongue darted out to wet her lips. Clarke was definitely doing this on purpose, “Not at all” she lied, “I’m perfectly fine”

“If you say so” Clarke said, sipping on her coffee. She then leaned forward, showing off her cleavage.

Lexa's eyes dipped for a millisecond before she flicked them back up, blushing profusely.

Clarke smirked to herself, happy that her little stunt had worked, “You're a little red. Something wrong?”

Lexa shook her head quickly, “Everything is perfect, just perfect” she hurried to say, “Really great”

“Thirsty?” Clarke asked.

“W-What?” Lexa stuttered out.

Clarke gestured at the actress's glass of water. Lexa squinted her eyes at her.

“That’s just mean” she accused.

She then thought of something and smiled to herself in victory, knowing it would work like a charm.

Her eyes connected with Clarke's, and she rested her chin on her joined hands, “Ce n’est pas très gentil, Clarke”

***That’s not very nice, Clarke***

Clarke's smiled dropped along with her jaw, “Oh no, that’s so not fair! You can’t use French against me”

“Why not, Clarke? Is there an issue?” she repeated Clarke's earlier words.

Clarke laughed, “Okay, you win”

“I wasn’t aware this was a competition but thank you” Lexa grinned.

Clarke put her fork down on her plate and gestured for her co-worker to come over when she noticed him looking their way. She told him to come closer, “If you want an autograph, you can just ask, you know”

He nodded and turned towards Lexa who frowned, unaware of what had been said between the two other people.

“Can I…” he pulled out his phone.

Lexa smiled, “You want a picture?” he nodded quickly, “Alright, come here” she got up from her seat and stood next to him.

The poor guy looked like he was about to faint when the actress put an arm over his shoulders.

Clarke laughed and offered to take the picture for him when she saw his hands shake, “And...done!” she announced, handing the phone back.

The man smiled and looked down at the picture, “Thank you” he told Lexa, “I’m going to…” he gestured at the counter.

“Yeah, you do that” Clarke said, laughing at the way he looked at her and then at Lexa, dumbfounded, a huge question mark written on his features.

Lexa pulled out her wallet to pay for their meal and Clarke got up to chat a bit with her co-worker.

“You're alright there? You look a bit shaken up” she grinned.

He blinked a few times, “How do you know her? I mean, Griffin, this is crazy”

“We met the first time she came here. I guess we just clicked”

“Could you get me her number? Oh my god, do you think she would agree to go on a date with me?”

Clarke frowned and got on the defensive, “She wouldn’t” she harshly said, earning herself a confused look from the man, “I mean, cause she told me she wasn’t looking for anyone”

Her co-worker squinted his eyes at her in suspicion, “Okay...It really sucks, man”

She didn’t say anything more. She simply grabbed Lexa's hand when the actress joined her side and led her outside, into the loud street.

“Why are you so eager to leave?” Lexa asked, looking behind her at the blonde's co-worker who was waving dumbly at her. She gave a short wave in return before Clarke pulled her away from the establishment and dropped her hand.

Lexa walked silently beside her, her hands tucked in the pockets of her jacket. She stole shy glances at the girl only to find her already looking back most times. Clarke hurried to unlock the door to her apartment and as soon as the door was shut close behind them, she grabbed the back of Lexa's neck and crashed their lips together. 

Her teeth closed around Lexa's bottom lip and she lightly tugged at it, earning a quiet moan from Lexa whose hands slid down the blonde's arms and found their home in the curve of her waist. The brunette's eyebrows shot up when Clarke changed the angle, and she tried to return the kiss despite the temporary foggy state of her mind. 

They pulled away to fill their lungs with air and Lexa smiled brightly, “What was that for?” 

Clarke tugged on the collar of her shirt and kissed her again as she walked further into the apartment, “That” she started in between kisses, “was because I really wanted to kiss my girlfriend when we were at the coffee shop” 

Lexa grinned and cupped Clarke's cheek to pull her in for another kiss, smiling through it. 

“I knew it!” Raven’s voice caused them to pull apart, the tip of Lexa's ears reddening at having been caught. 

Clarke sighed, “Please, not now” she said to no one in particular. 

“Clarkey” Raven started shaking her head, “It's not very nice to keep such secrets from your _best_ friend” 

 _“Clarkey?”_ Lexa repeated the nickname, amusement clear in her voice.

“Don’t start” Clarke pointed her index at her, “And Rae, not now” 

Raven smirked, “Let me just say: It was about damn time! I was starting to lose hope over here” she patted Lexa on the shoulder, “Congrats, champion” 

Lexa blushed, “Uh, thanks?” 

Clarke rolled her eyes, “Please, ignore her. It’s for the best” she told Lexa, “She will go away if no one pays attention to her” 

“That is where you are wrong, Clarkey” Raven clicked her tongue, “I could stay here forever if Lexa Woods was standing next to me. Which reminds me, you still haven’t answered my VIQ” she told the actress. 

“Your VIQ?” Lexa repeated, confused.

“Very Important Questions” Raven clarified. 

Lexa laughed, “Maybe some other time” she told the mechanic. 

Raven shook her head, “Brushing me to the side like I’m only a nuisance to you…” she dramatically stared into space. 

Lexa's gaze shifted to Clarke, amusement and puzzlement written in her eyes. The blonde simply shrugged, too used to Raven’s antics to try to understand. 

She took Lexa's hand and started climbing the stairs to the bedroom. 

Raven huffed, “Yeah, leave me alone like you always do. Does no one have any sympathy here?” 

Lexa giggled and let herself be pushed inside the bedroom, “She's really funny” she commented. 

Clarke smiled, “A bit too much, sometimes. This woman is literally unable to stop joking around” 

Lexa sat down on the bed, sitting straight, and she threw shy glances around the now familiar space, “Would you paint something for me someday?” her eyes flicked down towards Clarke, “I would pay for it of course” 

Clarke sat down by her side, “I’ll do it for free” she shrugged. She then took Lexa's hand, her index gliding along the actress's fingers, “I would love to go to LA with you…” she then answered Lexa's previous question. 

Lexa's ears perked up and a smile drew itself on her lips. She waited, sensing that Clarke had something else to say. 

“...but I would have to check in with my boss, see if it’s okay for me to miss work for a few days”

“I can talk to him if you want” Lexa said. 

Clarke smiled and shook her head, “That’s very sweet but I don’t want to take advantage of your fame for things like that. I’ll deal with this on my own” 

“Oh, okay” Lexa agreed, “You really want to be my girlfriend?” she then asked. 

Clarke laughed, “I wouldn’t have said yes if I didn’t” her lips split into a wide smile when she ended her sentence. 

Lexa blushed and her eyes were bright and happy as she brought Clarke's hand to her lips and kissed her knuckles, “Thank you for giving me a chance” 

Clarke's ears turned red and she smiled, “It’s not much of a sacrifice, really. Just a little” she teased. 

Lexa laughed, “That’s fair” she smiled, shaking her head, “And, um…” she rubbed the back of her neck, “We'll be shooting the first episode of the show a few days after I come back...I was wondering if you wanted to come see it” 

Clarke nodded, “That’d be great. If my boss lets me take a few days off, then I would love to” 

“And we can even invite Raven” the actress suggested. 

Clarke nodded her agreement, “She would kill me if I didn’t offer for her to tag along” she laughed. 

Lexa's phone rang and she sighed, “I’m so sorry about this” she told Clarke before picking up, “What’s up?” 

 _“I’m so sorry, Lexa”_ Anya started. 

Lexa's brows furrowed, “What are you sorry about?” 

Anya sighed, _“You will have to walk the red carpet_ _on the arm of_ _Atom Parker at the next award ceremony in a couple months. I tried to get them to listen to me but they are ranked above me and I couldn't do much. They think it will help bring the spotlight back on you because they think the media hasn’t spoken about you enough these days”_

Lexa blinked, processing the onslaught of information, “It’s...Do they know I’m not dating him?” 

 _“Yes”_ Anya answered, _“They said if you guys could make everyone believe you were, it would help both your careers”_

“It would help his” Lexa corrected, “I don’t need to boost my career with stupid PR stunts” 

_“I know...and I’m sorry I couldn't do anything about it. They really believe it is a good move and I can’t make them change their mind about this”_

“It’s fine. I know you did what you could” Lexa assured her, “It just annoys me so much that I have to keep lying like that to the people who constantly support me” 

 _“It’s only walking down the red carpet”_ Anya pointed out, _“And possibly sitting next to each other during the ceremony”_

Lexa groaned, “Fucking great. Exactly what I needed” 

Clarke shot her a questioning look and Lex held up her finger as if to say she'll explain later. 

_“You don't actually have to talk to him”_

“I sure hope I don’t. He's gotta be the most boring person I have ever met” Lexa rolled her eyes. 

_“Well, they said you would have to be seen having dinner with him sometime before the ceremony. Plant the seed, they said”_

Lexa knew her sister had rolled her eyes when she had said that. 

“They're so annoying” Lexa groaned, “Have they ever considered that someone could make it in the industry without pretending to be someone they're not?” 

 _“That's just how this works, Lex”_ Anya said, her tone calm and apologetic, _“I’ll see if I can do something more for it to be changed”_

“Thank you” Lexa said before hanging up. She sighed and dropped down on the bed, lying on her back.

“What did she want to talk with you about?” Clarke asked, only having been made aware of half of their conversation. 

“The people up there want me to pretend I’m dating Atom Parker” she rubbed a hand over her face.

“Isn’t that the same guy you were supposedly dating last year?” 

“That's the one” Lexa confirmed. 

“Why would they want to do this again?” 

“Cause his career is going downhill so I guess his producer and PR team are doing everything they can to keep him afloat” Lexa shrugged, “They try to pretend like it’s gonna help me but I know the only person thankful for this is him” 

“Why did your superiors agree to something like that if it wasn't beneficial to you?” Clarke was confused. 

Lexa turned her head to look at her, “Because agreeing to this means more money for them and that's not something they would ever say no to” 

Clarke frowned, “But isn’t anyone going to ask you if you're okay with it?” 

Lexa sighed and shook her head, “Big part of being a public figure consists of shutting up and doing what they tell you. Sometimes you get free food out of it” she joked but it didn’t get the desired effect. 

Clarke looked down at her hands, a crease between her eyebrows, “That’s just wrong” she mumbled. 

Lexa smiled, “It’s okay because there are so many other good things that come with my job, like meeting amazing people such as fans or other actors. I'll take the downside that is the media any day if it means I get to keep this” she said, referring to the many people she meets in her line of work. 

Clarke nodded understandingly, “Does it ever get too much?” she asked. 

Lexa raised an eyebrow at her and Clarke realized her mistake. She blushed and stuttered out a few words. 

“Oh, s-sorry, that was a stupid question” she scolded herself. **_Of course it gets too much, dumbass,_** she told herself, remembering how Lexa had shared with her the time she fell into depression. 

“It’s in the past now” Lexa shrugged, “And it does get hard but I’ve dealt with this in the past and I’ll continue dealing with it the best I can” 

“If I can do anything-” 

Lexa interrupted her with a shake of her head, “That’s sweet of you but I don’t want to get you involved in all of this. You don’t have to deal with my problems” 

Clarke frowned, “But I want to” she argued, “I want to help you deal with this. I want to be here for you whenever you need it” 

Lexa's lips split into a wide smile that reached her eyes, “Yeah?” she meekly asked for confirmation. 

“Yeah” 

Lexa leaned forward until her face was only inches away from Clarke's. Her eyes bore into blue and at the blonde's nod of consent, she connected their lips. 

She was sure that she would never get tired of kissing Clarke. Everytime the girl was around, she couldn’t help but want to touch her in one way or another. 

She reveled in the way Clarke hummed into the kiss and her hands cupped the girl's cheek, touching them ever so gently. She disconnected their lips only briefly to change the angle of the kiss. 

In one swift movement, Clarke was straddling her hips. Lexa let out a sound of appreciation and her hands dropped to Clarke's hips. 

She could feel her heart beating unusually fast and accepted the fact that it was becoming a recurring thing whenever Clarke was around. 

In her twenty-four years of existence, she had never been as attracted, enraptured and intrigued by someone as she is by Clarke. It all felt like a dream. A really good dream she had no desire to wake up from. Ever. 

She would consider herself a lucky person in general, what with her getting the chance to do what she loves by being an actress, which is a job with somewhat of a one in a million chance of being hired. 

She would consider herself lucky, yes, but Clarke accepting to be her girlfriend, that was more than just being lucky, that was a miracle, a blessed day, call it whatever you want to call it, it was the best thing that had ever happened to her. She was determined to make this work. She had hoped for it for months.

She had nearly accepted the fact that it simply wouldn’t happen. Just the night before the kiss, she had been trying to convince herself that she could live with just being Clarke's friend. She had been scolding herself for the way warmth spread through her chest when Clarke's body had been pressed against her own as they danced. But now here she was, kissing the most beautiful woman she had ever seen, a woman whom she could now call her girlfriend, well, well, whom she could call her girlfriend _if_ coming out didn't scare her so much. 

Lexa smiled into the kiss and kissed Clarke with renewed energy, not wanting to pull away anytime soon.

She wished she could build some sort of bubble that they could live in together, away from the world, away from any responsibilities, just the two of them, laughing and talking about anything and everything. 

She knew neither of them could afford to give up their respective responsibilities. It was simply impossible. Clarke had to stay in New York because of her job and because she had her friends and family here. As for Lexa, even if she moved to New York, her job would still force her to be on the move more often than not. 

They would just have to settle for a long-distance relationship. As much as the prospect of not seeing Clarke for days on end hurt, it was always better than not being with her at all. 

She hummed, then let out a quiet noise of protest when Clarke broke the kiss. The blonde cupped her cheeks and pressed a kiss to the tip of her nose, drawing a giggle from Lexa. 

“Did you just kiss my nose?” she asked, staring at Clarke, nothing but awe swirling in green eyes. 

“Yes” Clarke smiled, “You looked very cute right now” 

“People don’t usually call me _cute_ ” Lexa said with a small laugh, “I’m more used to other adjectives if I'm being honest” 

“Yeah? Like what, hot? Sexy? Attractive?” Clarke listed with a smirk while playing with the hem of Lexa's shirt. 

Lexa laughed, “More like, pretentious, cocky and selfish but I prefer the adjectives you used” 

Clarke grew serious. She shook her head, “You are anything but those three things” she said as she moved a hand to tuck a brown curl behind Lexa's ear, “You are beautiful, kind-hearted, caring and smart”

Lexa smiled, “Is this really how you see me?” she tentatively asked, her hands dropping to rest on top of Clarke's. 

Clarke nodded, “You're so much more than what the magazines say about you. The people who say those things, they don’t know who you really are. If they did, they would say the same things as me. It’s sad for them that they will never get to know you like I do” 

Lexa lifted Clarke's hand and kissed the back of it, “I’m so lucky to have you. I swear I will never take what we have for granted” 

“I know you won’t” Clarke said, smiling, “Now, let’s talk seriously” she then said, clapping her hands. 

Lexa raised a curious eyebrow and waited for Clarke to proceed with her sentence, “Well? What is it you want to talk about?” 

Clarke held her gaze for a few more suspenseful moments before finally speaking after fumbling with her phone for a few seconds, “Do you see this dress white and gold or blue and black?” 

Lexa burst out laughing, “Clarke, this thing has been outdated for at least two years” 

Clarke looked at her with fake seriousness, “I see you trying to divert me from the fact that you still haven’t replied. Just answer the question, Woods” 

Lexa chuckled, “As a matter of fact, it’s black and blue” 

Clarke gasped and clutched at her heart, “The betrayal” she all but whispered, “I can’t believe you would do this to me. We can’t hang out together anymore” 

“So first we can’t be friends because I love pineapple on pizza-” 

“Don’t remind me of that” Clarke interrupted, “I’m still trying to forget about it for the sake of our relationship” Lexa started grinning dumbly and Clarke frowned at her, “Why are you smiling like that?” 

Lexa grinned even wider, “You said _our relationship_ ” she pointed out. 

Clarke smiled, “I mean, we are together so how else do you want me to call it?” 

Lexa’s eyes were bright and shining with unconcealed happiness, “I just love hearing you say it” 

Clarke smiled then looked down at her phone, “Shit” she exclaimed, jumping from the bed, “I’m gonna be late for work” she said as her hands started pulling her shirt over her head. 

Lexa's eyes widened and she turned around abruptly, her hands shooting up to cover her own eyes. Her cheeks heated up as a blush spread through them, “I thought you didn’t work on Wednesday” 

“I normally don't but I promised to cover for my friend's shift. It’s only for about one hour and a half. It totally slipped my mind” she cursed under her breath. 

Lexa laughed, “So we could have just stayed there?” 

“Yes but like I said, it slipped my mind” she rolled her eyes at herself, “Can you hand me my pants?” Clarke asked, extending a hand towards Lexa who was now facing the other way from her. She smirked at the way the tip of Lexa's ears had become red. 

Lexa, still not meeting Clarke's eyes, grabbed the black pants and blindly gave them to the blonde, “This one?” 

“Yes, thank you” Clarke climbed on the bed behind her and quickly pressed a kiss to her cheek. 

“Y-you're welcome” Lexa stammered out.

Clarke grabbed her bag in a hurry, then grabbed Lexa’s hand, tugging on it to pull Lexa to her feet, “Come on, we’ll be late” 

“You want me to come with?” Lexa asked, surprised. 

Clarke stopped in her tracks, “Oh, unless you don’t want to” Clarke backtracked, realizing that Lexa didn’t really have a reason to come to her workplace with her. 

“I’d love to but I don't want to disrupt your work” Lexa explained, needing Clarke to know she wasn’t trying to avoid spending time with her. She would be crazy to do that. 

“And if I tell you that I want you there with me?” Clarke said, shrugging on a jacket and holding up Lexa's. 

Lexa took it in her hands. She moved towards the door while putting the jacket on, “Well? What are you waiting for?” she raised an eyebrow at Clarke. 

The blonde's lips formed a wide smile and she sprang into movement, joining Lexa by the door and kissing her on the lips before intertwining their fingers. 

Lexa could still feel the tingling Clarke's lips left on her own as they hurried down the stairs to climb into Clarke's car.

 

 

\-------------

 

 

Lexa smiled when she watched Clarke work. However, that smile dropped when another blonde appeared in her line of vision. Niylah, if she remembered the woman's name correctly. 

She didn’t like the way Niylah's eyes kept raking appreciatively over Clarke's body. She felt the burning need to step in and shield Clarke from the other woman's gaze. 

A feeling developed in the pit of her stomach and she scowled when she identified it as jealousy. She wasn’t usually a jealous person but man, did she hate the way Niylah was looking at Clarke. 

She had sat in the back as to not be noticed by too many people. Clarke had given her a book to busy herself with. Apparently it was the blonde's favorite so Lexa was happy to read it as well. 

But now, she couldn’t help but steal glances over every two seconds, watching Niylah's every move very attentively. 

The dirty blonde haired woman finally noticed her presence as she walked back towards the back room and Lexa knew she hadn’t imagined the glare she had thrown her way. 

She squinted her eyes when, suddenly, the woman's expression drastically changed and she was sporting a smile as she came to greet her. 

“It’s a pleasure to receive you here again. We're happy to see you enjoy coming here” 

Lexa wanted to scoff at how fake and forced this whole speech sounded. It almost looked painful for Niylah to utter those words. 

“Would you like to order something?” Niylah asked, pulling out a small notebook and a pen from the back pocket of her jeans. 

Lexa shook her head, “I’m just accompanying Clarke. Waiting for her to finish her shift” 

Niylah's eyes flashed with anger for a second before it was gone, “Well, you’ll be waiting for at least an hour” she dryly commented. 

Lexa shrugged, “I don’t mind” 

Niylah threw her what she probably thought was a subtle glare but it definitely did not go unnoticed by the actress. 

Clarke was watching the exchange, a worried frown on her face and Lexa smiled at her to assure her that everything was alright. The blonde reciprocated the smile. 

Niylah turned to see who Lexa was smiling at and when she identified the person, her glare intensified. She walked away in long, angry strides. 

“Have a nice afternoon” Lexa teasingly added. It wasn’t necessary but if she had to deal with Clarke's past _“partner”_ , she might as well have some fun. 

Niylah did not reply and kept on walking, head held high and posture rigid, “How come Lexa knows you that well?” 

Clarke blinked at the question, “Cause we became friends when she first came here about a month ago” 

“Friends?” Niylah repeated the word, unconvinced by the label, “Because she clearly wants more than just that” she rolled her eyes. 

Clarke frowned, “Okay, where does that come from? She hasn’t done anything to you” 

“I’m just saying” Niylah shrugged. 

“You know, even if she was interested in more, which she probably isn’t and it’s just a fruit of your wild imagination” she said, rolling her eyes, “It’s none of your business. She's a human being and deserves to be treated with respect so please, keep your remarks and rude stares to yourself, thank you” she ended her rant, cleaning the counter as they waited for new customers to come in. 

“Come on, Clarke” Niylah said, “You’ve known me for longer than her. Don't be like that” 

Clarke threw the towel she was holding onto the counter, “Like what?” she raised the tone of her voice but lowered it when she realized it had caught the attention of some customers. 

She motioned for Lexa to come over. The brunette obliged with a confused look on her face. Clarke took off her apron and placed it over Lexa’s head. 

“You’re the barista for the next few minutes” she announced to her before disappearing inside the back room, dragging Niylah with her. 

She leaned against a wall and crossed her arms in front of her chest. They stayed in silence for a long minute before Clarke spoke. 

“I’m getting tired of your comments on my life and how I should supposedly live it. Just because we hooked up once doesn’t mean you get to put a claim on me and be rude to every single person that shows interest in me” 

“It’s not like that” Niylah weakly defended. 

“It’s exactly like that” Clarke countered, “Get over it and stop looking at Lexa like that. She did nothing to deserve this kind of treatment” 

Niylah huffed and pulled her apron over her head, “I’m out. I’m tired of getting constant reproaches when all I’m trying to do is look out for you” 

Clarke stared at her in complete disbelief. **_What the fuck,_** she thought to herself as she watched the other girl disappear further inside the backroom to retrieve her bag. 

“You can’t just leave during your shift” Clarke pointed out. 

“Sure I can” Niylah rolled her eyes, “My dad’s the owner” 

Clarke scoffed, “Right” she said, “That must be nice to be handed everything on a silver platter”

Niylah ignored that and stormed out of the shop. Clarke left the backroom. She then angrily placed the cups back inside the cupboards and started cleaning tables when a hand dropped on her shoulder. 

She gasped and jumped away, “Jesus, Lexa. Don’t do that” 

Lexa threw her an apologetic look, “I just wanted to check to see if you were okay. It seemed pretty tense with Niylah” 

“Understatement of the year” Clarke rolled her eyes, “I’m tired of people who only think about themselves and never put themselves in other people's shoes” 

By now the whole café was looking at her, proof that her conversation with Niylah hadn’t gone by unnoticed. 

Clarke groaned, “And now I’m probably going to be fired” she sighed, “Just great” she sarcastically said. 

“Why would you be fired?” 

“Her dad’s the owner” Clarke said as she walked back behind the counter, “Why do you think she works here when she can’t even make a freaking cappuccino?” Clarke said, hitting the coffee maker. 

Coffee started splashing all over her clothes and Clarke let out a small yelp, “Fuck, no. Make it stop” she whined. 

Lexa jumped over the counter and unplugged the machine. She laughed and took in Clarke's state, “I’m having a strong sense of déjà vu right now” 

Clarke let out a small laugh and grabbed a towel to uselessly wipe at the stains on the bottom of her shirt, “And it was just my luck that this happened after I gave you my apron” 

Lexa smirked, “Want it back?” she tugged at the fabric, “It’s not really my color anyway” she looked down at it. 

“Stop, every color suits you” Clarke said, helping Lexa take off the apron and putting it on instead. 

Lexa frowned, “Don’t you want to get changed?” 

“I don’t have any spare clothes” Clarke said, “And besides, I’m finishing my shift in about…” she looked down at her watch, “forty minutes so it’s no use” 

Lexa nodded then gestured behind her at a young girl who was frozen on her seat, staring at them, “I think I broke someone” she laughed, “She hasn’t stopped looking at me since she entered the shop and ordered her coffee. I wonder why” she feigned ignorance, smirking. 

Clarke smacked her shoulder, “That’s cause it’s not everyday you get served by Lexa Woods” 

Lexa laughed, stepping away, “I’ll go talk to her before she leaves the shop” she promised, “Now I just want to enjoy the fact that there are no new customers so that I can talk with you” 

Clarke frowned, “Hold on…” she said, “Did you make her coffee?” she pointed at the girl. 

Lexa shrugged, “Well, yeah. You were gone and I thought it would be for longer than that” 

“Do you even know how this thing works?” Clarke pointed at the coffee maker. 

“More or less” 

Clarke raised an eyebrow, “So you probably got her order wrong” she concluded. 

“I’m offended you have such little faith in me” Lexa said, “I’m not that incompetent” 

Clarke laughed, “Alright, what did she order?” 

“A frappuccino with caramel” Lexa smiled proudly. 

Clarke walked towards the girl's table and shook her head with a smile, “This isn’t what you ordered, is it?” 

The girl finally detached her eyes from Lexa and shook her head, “No but it’s okay. It’s good too” 

Clarke turned back towards Lexa, “You got it wrong, dummy” 

“She said it was good, though!” Lexa replied from where she was still standing behind the counter. 

“Yeah, but still not what she ordered” Clarke laughed, “You’re incompetent, Woods” 

Lexa huffed, “Excuse me for not having years of experience like you do. At least I don’t splash coffee over my clothes twice a day” 

Clarke grinned, “Oh no, you didn’t” 

Lexa laughed and walked towards them. She saw the customer’s eyes widen and fill with a mix of disbelief and awe. 

“Hi” she extended her hand, “I’m Lexa” 

“Bitch, she knows who you are” Clarke muttered when the girl shook Lexa's hand. 

“Language, Clarke” Lexa chastised with a smirk, “What kind of example are we setting for the younger generation?” 

“Please. As if you never curse” Clarke rolled her eyes. 

“I don’t” Lexa lied. 

“You're so full of shit, Woods” Clarke laughed, “Now just take a picture with her. She's been waiting for this for the past five minutes and you've just been looking at her like the asshole you are” she said then laughed and dodged it when Lexa tried to shove her backwards. 

“What’s your name?” Lexa asked, directing her attention back on the girl seated at the table. 

“Nicole” the girl answered with a bright smile, “Could I have a picture with you?” 

“Sure” Lexa smiled and crouched down next to Nicole while the girl pulled out her phone and shakily opened the camera. 

“Thank you” Nicole smiled when it was done, “I don’t want to bother you too long. I just wanted to say that you are amazing in Fear The Walking Dead. I’m not much of a fangirl but I’ve seen every single episode” 

“Thank you” Lexa gave her a genuine smile, “And I’d enjoy speaking with you more if you would want that” 

Nicole nodded, “So, I have a question” 

“Ask away” 

“When's the next season going to air?” Nicole asked out of curiosity.

“I can’t give you a precise date. We’ll start shooting season 4 next week so you guys can at least expect some behind the scenes pictures” she said. 

Nicole’s face lit up, “Really? Cause you're not really known for posting lots of pictures” 

Clarke burst out laughing, “Even your own fans start calling you out” she held her hand up for a high five with Nicole. 

Lexa rolled her eyes, “Shut up” she mumbled, a smile gracing her features nonetheless and a soft blush covering her cheeks, “I’ll try to be more active” Lexa told Nicole. 

“Okay, great!” the girl smiled, “Thank you so much for stopping by. I know it must be annoying to have people follow you around everywhere, I’m sorry” 

Lexa shook her head, “Oh no, don’t worry. I love talking with you guys. This will never be a bother for me” 

Clarke walked back behind the counter when a new customer entered. Lexa, as for her, took a seat next to Nicole and started speaking with her while sometimes stealing glances at the blonde working behind the counter, looking as beautiful as ever. 

“You should ask her out” Nicole suddenly said, looking towards Clarke. 

Lexa's eyes flicked up quicker than ever before, “What?” she said although she had heard perfectly. 

“You keep looking at her in a way that’s far from subtle” Nicole shrugged, “You should go for it” she said, now at ease with the actress enough to be that blunt. 

Lexa opened her mouth and closed it, “I’m...I’m n...I mean, I don’t-” she stumbled over her words and let out a frustrated sigh. 

“You don’t need to justify anything. Just don’t let her go without trying. It could lead to something beautiful” 

Lexa was stunned into silence. It was shocking to her, to say the least, that a girl she had known for less than thirty minutes was able to analyze her behavior and mindset so perfectly. 

“What makes you think I like her?” Lexa asked, panic settling inside her chest. 

“You know, I had my doubts when I saw how uncomfortable you looked around Atom even though he's a very handsome man” 

“A stupid one too” Lexa mumbled. 

Nicole laughed, “Anyway, the way you look at her just about confirmed it” she shrugged, “It’s no big deal anyway” 

Lexa sighed, “Please, don’t tell anyone” 

Nicole nodded, “I don’t have a reason to tell people. And outing someone is the nastiest thing you could ever do to them so I’m not going there” 

“Thank you” 

Lexa was astounded by how freeing it was to talk about this with someone who was basically a stranger to her. Her heart was beating fast and her hands were sweaty but she felt more and more at ease as the conversation kept going. 

“Does she know you like her?” Nicole nodded towards Clarke who was currently tending to a customer. 

“Yeah” Lexa smiled, “Yeah, she knows. We, um, we’re giving it a try” 

Nicole grinned, “Cute” she said before sipping on her coffee, “And well done. She's hot” 

Lexa grinned, “She is, isn’t she?” she gushed excitedly, “I still don’t know why she agreed to date me” 

“You should give yourself some credit. Anyone would love to date you” Nicole said. 

“You're not like most fans” Lexa pointed out, “I mean, you're here talking to me like you've known me for years” 

Nicole shrugged, “You're just another person just like us who was lucky enough to be blessed with talent and beauty. No offense but I don’t care about celebrities enough to get super excited about meeting one” 

“No offense taken” Lexa laughed. She then scanned the room and smiled when Clarke walked towards them. 

“Hey, everything alright?” 

Nicole nodded and looked at Lexa then at Clarke with a knowing look, “Cute” she repeated, much to Clarke's confusion. 

Bellamy walked into the shop, panting from running, “So sorry I’m late” he told Clarke, “Thank so much for covering for me” he kissed her cheek and ran off to retrieve his apron in the backroom.

Lexa frowned, the way he had greeted Clarke not sitting well with her. It was simply her jealousy speaking and she knew it was an irrational thing to feel over something so trivial but she couldn’t help it. 

She stepped closer to Clarke and placed a hand on the blonde's hip, “Can we go now?” she asked in the blonde's ear, sending shivers down her body. 

Clarke nodded dumbly and pulled her apron over her head, “Just give me two seconds” she discreetly grabbed Lexa's hand and squeezed it before disappearing in the back. 

“You look much more intimidating in the magazines” Nicole commented, “When in reality, you're just a whipped gay puppy” 

Lexa squinted her eyes at her, “I think you've become a little too confident, Nicole” 

The girl smiled and shrugged, “Just telling the truth. Could I have a picture with you and Clarke before you guys leave?” 

“Sure” Lexa said right when Clarke and Bellamy reappeared from the back, laughing about something the man had said, “Clarke!” she called the blonde over. 

Nicole pulled out her camera and got up to place herself next to Lexa. 

Lexa looped an arm around Clarke's waist, “Smile for the picture” she whispered. 

Clarke grinned and Nicole looked down at her phone with a smile when the picture had been taken, “Thank you” 

Clarke remembered something, “Can you just avoid posting that on social media, please? It’s just that I don’t necessarily want the media attention back on me” 

“Sure, no problem” Nicole said, “Thanks again” she smiled. 

Lexa and Clarke walked out and once they were a good twenty feet away from the shop, Clarke pulled Lexa into an empty alleyway and joined their lips. 

Lexa happily reciprocated the kiss, smiling through it which rendered it somewhat awkward but neither cared. 

“I don’t know what that was for but I’m not complaining” Lexa smirked, leaning forward to capture Clarke's lips once more in a chaste kiss.

“Could we go on that date tonight?” Clarke asked.

Lexa grinned and nodded eagerly, “But I want to do this properly” 

“Meaning?” 

“I want to pick you up and drive you there so I’m going to bring you back home now and then go back to my hotel to get ready” 

Clarke pouted at the idea of parting with Lexa. She agreed nonetheless and they parted with a kiss when they had reached the inside of Clarke's apartment building. 

Lexa walked down the street to her hotel with a bounce in her steps and a wide smile stretching her lips. Tonight was going to be amazing and she was going to make sure it was the best date Clarke had ever been on.

 

 


	12. Chapter 12

 

 

Lexa paced around frantically as she tried to think of a place to take Clarke to. Truth was, she had seemed confident while asking but she had no plan in mind whatsoever and time was ticking by.

Anya entered the room and was immediately grabbed by Lexa, “Help me” the actress said, her voice slightly panicked.

“Geez, what’s the hurry?”

“I have a date” Lexa said, “With Clarke” she added.

“Oh! That's great, Lex” Anya smiled, “You must be happy. You should be. Why don’t you look happy?” she quickly said.

“I am” Lexa said, “I am happy but I have no idea what to wear and where to take her” she resumed pacing around the hotel room.

Anya rolled her eyes, “You are a mess” she told her sister before rummaging through the actress's clothes.

“Thanks…” Lexa said, rolling her eyes.

Anya shoved a dark red sweater in her hands along with tight black pants, a leather jacket, and a black scarf, “There”

 

[Lexa's outfit](http://picture-cdn.wheretoget.it/jcv5k4-l-610x610-vogue+haus-blogger-scarf-sunglasses-flats-leopard+print-leather+jacket-black+bag-red+sweater-sweater-jacket-jeans-shoes-bag-jewels-leopard+printed+ballerinas.jpg)

 

Lexa looked down and smiled. She hugged her sister. Anya smiled and, albeit awkward because of how full Lexa's hands were, she returned the hug.

“Thank you” the actress said.

She ran into the bedroom to change. Once she was done, she gave herself a once over in the mirror and smiled, satisfied. Now she just had to find somewhere to take Clarke. 

“How about a restaurant?” 

“Too classic” Lexa shut down the idea, “I want it to be amazing. a restaurant won't cut it” 

Anya squinted her eyes at her, “You do know that what makes a date perfect is not where you go but more who you're going with, right?” 

“Very beautiful words, Anya, but I’m still not going to just bring her to a restaurant”

Anya rolled her eyes, “Why not?” 

“I told you. I want it to be really special” Lexa said, “She deserves perfect and I want to show her that this is really important to me” 

“Whipped” Anya said with a smirk and she quickly dodged Lexa's hand when the actress went to hit her shoulder. 

Lexa sat down on the couch and looked down at her watch. She had about one hour left before their date. She suddenly shot up, an idea surging inside her mind, “Anya, I need your help” she told her sister, “It might be a lot to ask on such short notice but it would mean the world to me if you could do this” 

“What do you need?”

 

 

\-------------

 

 

Lexa rubbed the palms of her right hand on the material of her pants, her other hand holding a bouquet of white roses. She was wearing the outfit chosen by Anya. She was thankful to her sister for helping her in picking it. It wasn’t too casual but it wasn’t too formal either. It was just perfect. 

She fumbled with the collar of her leather jacket before finally getting herself to knock on the door. She held her breath as she waited for it to open. When it did, the air she was holding in escaped as she spoke her next words, “Whoa...” she stared at Clarke with awe-filled eyes. 

Clarke was wearing black pants, a long beige winter jacket and a plaid scarf. Her hair was down in natural golden waves. She looked beautiful as ever and Lexa was finding it difficult to form coherent sentences.

 

[Clarke's outfit](http://picture-cdn.wheretoget.it/t6ekg1-l-610x610-scarf-jacket-trench+coat-coat-brown-beige-beige+jacket-winter+outfits-flannel+scarf-pea+coat-winter+swag-cool-fashion-girly-outfit-nice-tumblr+outfit-clothes-checked-bag-shorts-jea.jpg)

 

“You...You look really beautiful” she smiled and presented the flowers she was still holding, “This is for you” 

Clarke blushed a bit, “Thank you” she took the flowers and went into the kitchen to put them into a vase which she had just filled with water. 

“Have her home by ten!” a voice shouted from the kitchen. 

“Shut it, Raven!” Clarke shouted back and the other girl's laughter rang through the house. 

“Have fun!” Raven said through a mouthful of bread. 

Lexa smiled, “Thank you, Raven” she quietly said before her eyes fell on Clarke, “Ready to go?” she asked, nerves slipping into her voice. 

Clarke grinned and nodded, linking her arm with the actress, “Where are we going?” 

“That's a surprise” Lexa said, breathing deeply, hoping that Anya was able to prepare everything that was needed. If not, she would have to improvise something. 

Clarke stopped them after they were a good ten feet away from the apartment door, “You're nervous” she stated. 

Lexa scoffed in an attempt to mask her obvious nervousness, “I’m not” she weakly denied. 

Clarke smiled and she slipped her hands into Lexa's, intertwining their fingers, “You are, though” she said, “It’s kind of adorable, actually” 

Lexa blushed and looked down at her feet, “I don’t even know why I’m nervous” she laughed at herself as she scratched the back of her head. 

Clarke got on the tip of her toes and pressed her lips against the actress's cheek, “There really is nothing to be nervous about” 

“I want this to be perfect” Lexa bashfully admitted, the tip of her ears turning red as the words left her lips. 

Clarke's eyes softened and she rubbed her thumb against the back of Lexa's hand, “No matter what we do, it’ll be perfect. I just want to spend time with you” 

Lexa smiled and some of her confidence surged back. She nodded once then led them outside. 

“After you” she opened the door for Clarke and followed her until they reached the blonde's car. Clarke had wanted to drive but Lexa argued that only she knew where they were going and therefore, should be behind the wheel. 

The ride was silent but it wasn’t uncomfortable. Lexa could feel Clarke's curious gaze on her and she felt a bit self-conscious. 

“Is there something on my face?” she asked, a small laughter escaping her lips, the sound tainted with slight apprehension. 

“You're just very beautiful” 

Lexa smiled, “Thank you” 

“I’ve never seen you so nervous” Clarke then noted, “Relax, it’ll be perfect” her hand found its way on top of Lexa's, which was loosely resting over the shift gear. 

“You deserve so much more than what I could ever give you” Lexa whispered. 

Clarke frowned, “Pull over, Lexa” 

Lexa was confused but obliged nonetheless. She stopped the car on the side of the road, where it wouldn't bother other drivers and slowly lifted her eyes to meet Clarke's. 

“Now, this might not be the best place or time to have this conversation but…” Clarke sighed, “How could you even think that?” 

Lexa blinked a few times, her eyes uncertain and her lips forming words which never left her mouth. She didn’t even know where all those insecurities came from. She was supposed to sweep Clarke off her feet, not ruin the date with her doubts and nerves. 

Clarke unbuckled her seatbelt to have more freedom of movement and she angled her body towards Lexa, “I happen to think that being your friend, and now your girlfriend” she stopped speaking to smile at the actress, “is the best thing that has happened to me in a while” 

“Really?” 

Clarke smiled, “Yes. So please, stop worrying about this and just enjoy it, alright? I just want to spend a nice evening with you and it doesn’t matter where”

“I have ruined the mood, haven’t I?” 

Clarke shook her head, “No, you didn’t” she assured the brunette, “Just relax” she cupped the actress's cheek and brushed her thumb over it, “Okay?” 

Lexa breathed out a long sigh and she nodded, “Okay” 

“Good. Now keep driving because the suspense is actually killing me” Clarke said and it served to alleviate the tension as it drew a small laugh from Lexa. 

She started back the car and gave herself a small mental pep talk. **_Get it together, you dumbass,_** she thought to herself as they neared their destination. 

Clarke straightened in her seat when the car pulled to a stop and she gazed outside with excited eyes. She could only see what seemed to be a big building, “What is this place?” she asked when Lexa opened her car door for her. She kissed the brunette's cheek in thanks. 

Lexa extended her hand and Clarke happily slipped her own into it, warmth spreading through her chest as the brunette guided them towards the entrance of the building. 

“I asked Anya to set everything up because I didn’t have time to do everything myself so...I just hope it’ll be okay” 

She pushed on the door and it opened with a small creaking sound. She smiled when she noted that everything was exactly the way it was supposed to be. 

She turned on her heels and all the tension left her body when she took in the overjoyed expression that was gracing Clarke's features. 

The building was a large space and against a wall protected by plastic, a good twenty feet away from them, had been set up a large canvas which was at least ten feet long and seven feet high. In front of it, there were buckets of paint as well as protective suits. Next to those, were various kinds of material, going from paintbrushes to cans of spray paint. 

“I thought maybe we could create something together” Lexa said, walking beside Clarke whose eyes were still stuck on the large canvas before them, “What do you think?” 

Clarke turned around, grinning from ear to ear, “No one has ever done something like this for me” 

Lexa smiled widely when Clarke engulfed her in a hug, thanking her over and over again. She wrapped her arms tightly around Clarke's waist, reveling in the way their bodies molded perfectly together.

She watched with bright, happy eyes as Clarke ran towards the suits and discarded her scarf and coat to slip inside the white one piece outfit. 

Lexa took more time than Clarke had to walk up to the suits and shrug on her own after leaving her coat on top of Clarke's on the ground. 

“So...I don’t actually know how to paint...or draw” she admitted once she was holding the paintbrush.

Clarke smiled, “It’s okay. I’ll teach you”

“I’m not sure there is much you could do. I don’t have a single artistic bone in my body” 

“Don’t underestimate my teaching abilities” Clarke said, “And I’m sure you're not as bad as you pretend to be” 

“I once tried to draw Anya and it ended up looking more like a tiger than a human, God knows how” 

Clarke laughed, “You’ll be fine” 

“I can’t even draw stick figures properly” Lexa said as she moved towards the large canvas. 

Clarke laughed even harder, “What do you want to paint?” she asked. 

“I don’t know” Lexa said, “I was thinking I would just go along with whatever you wanted to draw and try not to mess it up too badly” 

Clarke smiled, “How about we do our own thing and we see what the result is at the end?” 

“Your side is gonna be so fucking beautiful. Mine is gonna be pitiful in comparison” 

“Then we'll both draw on the same side. Come on” she tugged on the sleeve of Lexa's protective suit. 

Lexa hesitantly dipped her paintbrush in blue paint and approached the canvas, trying to think of what she could possibly do. 

Clarke laughed, “You think too much” she told the brunette before moving behind her. 

She wrapped one arm around Lexa's waist and her other hand traveled along the brunette's arm to grab her hand and guide it towards the canvas. 

Lexa wasn’t even focused on the painting anymore with the way Clarke was closely pressed against her. She let the blonde guide her hand to create a few strokes. 

“You know what, I have an idea” Clarke whispered in her ear. 

“Yeah?” Lexa turned her head to catch blue eyes. 

Clarke moved away and Lexa instantly missed the contact. She watched as the blonde dipped her brush in paint before moving closer to the painting, placing herself at a distance of five feet from it. She then flicked her wrist and sent paint flying and landing on the canvas in beautiful yet abstract shapes. Lexa smiled. That, she could do. She mimicked Clarke’s previous movements and smiled at the result. Her blue paint matched perfectly with the purple shapes created by Clarke. 

“See? You’re not that bad at it” Clarke smiled as she put some red on her paintbrush and repeated the action. 

They ended up using nearly half of the paint that was there, their canvas slowly turning into a beautiful mix of colors, haphazardly juxtaposed. 

Lexa took a few steps back to get a full view of the art they had created during the past hour. She yelped when she felt a cold substance against her cheek. She fixed Clarke with a faux glare that quickly shifted into a fond smile when she saw the way Clarke was smiling at her, her tongue trapped between her teeth. 

She slowly dipped her paintbrush in the closest bucket of paint, which happened to be red paint. Without detaching her eyes from Clarke, she strode towards her. Clarke laughed and ran away from her, “No!” she said when she saw that Lexa was catching up to her fast. 

Two strong arms wrapped around her waist and Lexa smeared red paint along her cheek, very slowly. Clarke let out a small scream and she try to wiggle free to no avail. Lexa smeared some more paint on her forehead before finally setting her free. 

“You okay there? You look a bit red” Lexa teased, a proud smirk drawing itself on her lips. 

“Ha. Ha. Ha” Clarke said, “Very funny” 

“I know, thank you” Lexa grinned, “You attacked me first” she then defended herself. 

Clarke slowly backed away and she discreetly gathered paint on her brush before flicking it at Lexa who shrieked and turned around so that the paint would land on her back and not on her face. 

“Okay, time out!” Lexa shouted. She raised her arms in the air and slowly approached Clarke. 

The blonde smiled and dropped the paintbrush on the protective sheet sprawled out on the floor. She dragged her two fingers along the blue paint covering Lexa's cheek, spreading it even more. 

Lexa scrunched up her nose and moved her head away, “It tickles” she said. 

Clarke placed a hand on the nape of Lexa's neck and pulled her head down for a long kiss. 

She looked around after their lips disconnected and she laughed, “We really made a mess, didn’t we?” 

Lexa looked around and smiled, “I'll come back to clean up tomorrow. Right now we have somewhere else to be. Unless you want to stay here a little longer” 

Clarke looked surprised, “There's more?” 

“Of course there is more. Firstly, I wouldn’t let you starve on our first date and if the noise your stomach just made is anything to go by, I think you'll be more than happy to know that we are now heading to a restaurant” 

Clarke's lips formed a smile, “Food” she whispered. 

Lexa laughed. She went to get a wet towel and she cleaned both their faces before they slipped out of the painting suits. 

“Here” she put Clarke’s scarf around the blonde's neck and handed her her coat, “Come on” she took her hand in her own and walked them back towards the car.

 

 

\-------------

 

 

Clarke lowered her glass of wine on the table and her eyes connected with Lexa's, “Thank you for all this” she gestured at the restaurant they were in, “And the painting too” 

Lexa smiled. She was feeling a lot less nervous now that she knew Clarke had loved her idea. 

“It was great for me too” she said. 

“It’s already the best date I’ve ever been on and it isn’t even over yet. How do you do that?” 

“Do what?” 

“How are you so perfect all the time? Surely you must have at least one flaw” 

Lexa shook her head, “I have many flaws” she told the blonde. 

“Yeah? Give me at least one” 

“I’m not a very patient person” Lexa admitted, “I like to have the things I want as quickly as possible” 

“And yet, you waited for me to be ready” Clarke pointed out.

“You were worth it” 

Clarke's heart jumped in her chest and a bright smile drew itself on her lips, “You always say the sweetest things” she quietly said. She reached across the table and waited for Lexa to slip her hand in her own. The actress quickly looked around before linking their fingers, “Also…” Clarke started, looking down at their joined hands, “I’m sorry about whatever Niylah might have said to you. She's not used to being told no, I guess” 

Lexa shrugged, “It was whatever. She wasn’t excessively rude or anything” 

Clarke raised an incredulous eyebrow. 

“What? It’s true” Lexa insisted, staring right ahead at the road, “She was jealous. I can understand it. I would too be jealous if I had to be the one watching you with someone who isn’t me” 

Clarke smiled, “You’d be jealous?” 

Lexa blushed, “Probably” she admitted, “I mean, I really wouldn’t like it” 

“Yeah but we're actually together so that would be justified. I’m not in a relationship with Niylah” Clarke pointed out, her cheeks tinted in a faint pink. 

They disconnected their hands when the waiter came over to take back their empty plates. Clarke insisted to pay for their dinner despite Lexa being the one to have planned the date.

 

 

\-------------

 

 

 

When they exited the restaurant, Clarke looked around and her eyes widened when she caught a glimpse of someone who looked an awful lot like Finn in the distance. She cursed under her breath and tried to hide. 

Lexa was confused until she spotted a man walking down the parking lot, “Who is this?” she pointed at him. 

Clarke slapped her arm, “Don’t fucking point at him, idiot!” she hissed, “This is Finn. Now hide me”

Lexa laughed, “Oh? Is this _meet all your girlfriend's exes_ day?” 

Clarke rolled her eyes but smiled nonetheless, “You’re an idiot” she shook her head. 

“Yeah but you still-” 

“Clarke?” Finn’s voice rang through the parking lot. 

“Shit, shit, shit” Clarke looked around for a way out but the car was parked at least twenty feet away. 

“Clarke?” Finn called again, “I’ve been trying to find you for weeks but you changed your shift times at your work” he said, “We need to talk” 

Lexa's straightened her posture and placed herself in front of Clarke. She stared the man up and down. The blonde instinctively leaned against her body. 

“Who are you?” he asked, squinting his eyes at her, a certain bite to his words. 

“That’s not relevant” Lexa brushed it off, “Just go away. She doesn't wish to speak to you” her voice turned menacingly low, a sheer contrast to her light tone from a few minutes prior to this. 

Finn’s eyes flicked towards Clarke, roaming the blonde’s body in a way that made both women feel uncomfortable, “Let’s just talk, alright?” he told Clarke before grabbing her arm roughly. 

Lexa grabbed the collar of his shirt and yanked him to the side in one swift movement, “Don’t touch her” she warned. 

Finn’s eyes flashed with understanding, “You’re fucking her, aren’t you?” he told Lexa with a crooked smile, “That’s why you're trying to defend her and shit. Damn, now I know why you broke up with me. Such a slut” he spat at Clarke. A mocking, almost sadistic laugh escaped his lips, “Argh!” he suddenly exclaimed. 

Lexa had punched him square in the jaw and Clarke let out a gasp. Lexa hadn’t even realized how hard she had hit him until she saw that he was whimpering on the floor, holding his jaw in pain. 

“Don’t talk about her like that ever again or I’ll break your fucking arm” she threatened, shaking her aching hand. 

He scowled, “What the fuck?” he got up and lunged forward to throw a punch. 

Lexa side stepped and blocked his fist with ease before she trapped him in a chokehold, placing herself behind him, “You're slow and you lack technique. On top of that, you're ugly as fuck. You never deserved someone like Clarke” 

Clarke watched with wide, impressed eyes how Lexa single-handedly manhandled Finn. The blonde’s jaw fell open when Lexa threw him on the floor in one swift movement. 

The actress grabbed her hand and led them both to the car. Clarke handed her the keys, then looked behind them at Finn who was getting up slowly, grunting at the pain in his back. By the time he started walking back towards them, Lexa had already turned the key in the ignition and pulled out of the parking space. 

Clarke laughed and flipped Finn the bird through the window as Lexa drove away from the area, “That was fucking great!” Clarke exclaimed. 

Lexa chuckled, “Glad you enjoyed the show” she said. 

“Where did you learn how to fight?” 

“You have to develop those kind of skills when you grow up with someone like Anya as your older sister. She loved to wrestle and I was her unwilling victim” 

Clarke smiled, “Poor you” 

“It was very traumatic” Lexa joked and Clarke shook her head at her. 

“Thank you for this” Clarke said after a few seconds of silence. She gently grabbed Lexa's hand, the one used to punch Finn, and pressed a kiss to each of her knuckles.

 

 

\------------

 

 

“We’re not going back to my place?” Clarke asked when she saw Lexa drive past her street. 

The brunette shook her head, “I have one last surprise” she said, “Unless you’re too tired?”

“I’m good” 

Clarke was shocked to say the least at how much Lexa had prepared for their date. 

“How did you even manage to plan this all out in such short notice?” 

“I had some help from Anya” 

“I should thank her, then” 

Lexa hummed and parked the car into the parking lot of the hotel. They walked into the elevator and instantly, Clarke's lips attached to her own. 

“Thank you” Clarke murmured, “For all of this. This has possibly been the best night of my life” 

“It's not over yet” Lexa pointed out. 

She unlocked her door and smiled when she saw that everything was still perfectly in place, identical to when she had left the hotel room. 

Clarke gasped, “Lexa…” 

The actress had build a blanket fort with covers, chairs, fairy lights and pillows. She had placed her laptop inside as well as a two-person-mattress.

 

[the blanket fort](http://d1uzvx7cs18n3d.cloudfront.net/media/wysiwyg/blog/955aca84caacb179b4419beb4da0f7fa.jpg)

“I thought we could watch a movie or something” Lexa explained, “I didn’t want to fall into the cliché movie then dinner kind of date so this was the best I could come up with” she motioned at the blanket fort. 

“It’s perfect. You really went all out” Clarke commented as they walked towards the blanket fort. 

Lexa extended her hand, “Shall we?” she asked. 

“I’m gonna sound like an ungrateful asshole but can I just use the bathroom before? I really have to pee” 

Lexa laughed, “Go ahead. I’ll be inside, waiting for you. Any preferences for the movie?” 

“Horror movie” 

Lexa frowned, “I thought they scared you” 

Clarke shrugged, “All the more reasons to cuddle with you” 

Lexa grinned and entered the blanket fort. She turned on her laptop and opened Netflix, quickly searching through the horror film section. 

She smiled when the cover was pulled up and Clarke slipped inside, “God, this is amazing” the blonde said, looking around with wonderment. 

“I chose Sinister” Lexa announced, “I hope that’s okay” 

Clarke smiled, “Sure. What is it about?” 

“Families mysteriously being murdered” Lexa said in an even tone. 

“Sounds delightful” Clarke joked, drawing a laugh from Lexa. She sat down on the mattress and pulled the blanket up to her waist as Lexa pressed play on the movie. The actress lay down, her head resting on the pillow and she lifted her arm so that Clarke could snuggle against her. 

The blonde's head was resting on her chest and it moved up and down with the rise and fall of Lexa's breathing. She lowered one hand on the brunette's stomach and her eyes widened when she felt the outline of the actress's abs, a soft gap escaping her lips. 

Lexa laughed when she felt a hand brush against her stomach, feeling it up, “Clarke? What are you doing?” she chuckled. 

“You have abs” Clarke simply stated. 

Lexa hummed, “My job is quite physical sometimes” she said “Especially since I do my own stunts” 

“You do your own stunts?” 

Lexa nodded, eyes on the computer screen, “Yeah” she confirmed, “It’s one of the most fun parts of my job” 

“Isn’t it dangerous?” Clarke lifted her head to look at Lexa. 

Lexa shrugged, “They make sure everything is executed safely” she said. 

The barista hummed and lowered her head back on Lexa's chest, “That’s badass” she said with a smile, her fingers absentmindedly tracing circles over Lexa's clothed stomach. 

“We missed the first five minutes of the movie” Lexa pointed out. 

Clarke shrugged, “The first minutes are never interesting” she stated, “It’s day time so it’s not like anything scary is about to pop up” 

“Some could argue that this man’s utter lack of style is scary” Lexa said.

“Maybe he’s too poor to buy better clothes” Clarke said. 

“He’s a writer” 

“Maybe he sucks at it so he has to find other ways to make money” 

“He literally just moved into a very beautiful, rather expensive-looking house” Lexa said. 

“Yes but- ugh, okay. You’re right” Clarke relented, “Now shut up. I’m trying to watch the movie” 

Lexa hummed non-committedly, “Yeah, sure. Now you're trying to” she smirked when Clarke lightly smacked her stomach. 

The first fifteen minutes of the movie were pretty uneventful and Lexa would just smile at the commentary given by Clarke for each scene. 

“I don’t trust children” Clarke said, “They're always the ones responsible for all the shit going on in those movies. People should just stop having children altogether” 

Lexa laughed, “That would probably not be a good idea” 

Clarke looked up, “Then I just won’t move into a new house since that's how every horror movie starts. Especially not one with some kind of creepy basement or attic” she rolled her eyes. 

“You mean, like this one?” Lexa laughed, pointing at the screen. 

“Yes!” Clarke threw her hands in the air, “And why would he go up to the attic? Does this man have a death wish?” 

“He’s searching information on the past murders, documenting stuff and everything” 

“He should just mind his own damn business because I’m telling you, he’s gonna end up dead” 

Lexa laughed quietly and a rush of affection surged through her. She held Clarke that tiny bit tighter and the blonde hummed, burying deeper into the warmth Lexa's body provided. The blonde suddenly moved from the embrace and Lexa let out an embarrassing whine that pulled a smirk from Clarke. 

“Where are you going?” Lexa asked, a deep blush covering her cheeks. 

Clarke grabbed her hands and held them in between her own, “I just wanted to say thank you” 

“What for?” 

“I don’t know, everything?” Clarke laughed, “For being here for me in spite of how hectic your life is. For still giving this a chance after I made you wait. For...for wanting to be with me” she all but whispered that last part. 

“So…if I understood correctly, you just thanked me for being attracted to you” Lexa said with a small laugh. 

“Yes?” Clarke said, letting out a laugh of her own. 

Lexa shook her head, “You're welcome. Now would you please come back here?” she asked, arms open and a charming smile on her face. 

Clarke settled back against the actress, “You’re so beautiful. It’s insane” she commented after a few silent minutes, looking up at her. 

Lexa laughed, “And yet, you were growing tired of Raven constantly repeating those exact words” 

Clarke hummed, “That’s because I didn’t know you. I don’t see a point in talking about how beautiful you are if I can’t benefit from it” she smirked. 

Lexa laughed, “I see, I see” she said, tangling her fingers in blonde hair and stroking the girl's scalp in a circular motion, drawing pleased hums from her girlfriend. 

“It feels nice” Clarke commented. 

Lexa simply smiled and kept the motion of her hand while focusing back on the movie, “We have missed at least fifteen whole minutes of this movie” 

Clarke smiled, “I’m sure nothing important happened” 

“You’re just happy you didn't have to suffer through a few jump scares” Lexa said. 

Clarke didn’t even try to refute her claims. She hummed, nodding her assent. However, her whole body jumped when a man abruptly appeared on the screen , “Holy fuck” she held her chest, “Why do they always do that?” she whined, “I officially hate those movies” 

Lexa kissed the top of her head, “We don’t have to watch them if you don’t want to, you know” 

Clarke's lips curved upwards, “That's sweet but I don’t mind them. They scare me a little, that’s all” 

“Just a little” Lexa repeated her words in a teasing tone, “I hadn’t noticed” she added, giggling when Clarke pinched her arm. 

Clarke closed her eyes, breathing in the actress's perfume then let out the air in a soft, contented sigh. 

She ended up falling asleep against Lexa and the brunette didn’t bother carrying her to the bed. They stayed in the blanket fort she had built and she closed the lid of her laptop with her foot as to not wake up the sleeping girl in her arms. 

She grabbed her phone and opened her official twitter account to tweet something for she hadn’t done that in quite some time now and fans were starting to grow impatient.

 

**Lexa Woods** @LexaWoods: _It’s been awhile since I have felt this happy_

She typed another tweet, then locked her phone after putting it on silent, and she placed it away.

 

**Lexa Woods** @LexaWoods: _Filming of season 4 will start next week. You guys can expect lots of Behind The Scenes pictures xx #FTWD_

Her hand moved up Clarke's back until her fingers found their home in Clarke's hair, tangled in blond strands. 

The soft, steady breathing of the girl in her arms slowly lulled her to sleep and soon, she too drifted off, a content smile plastered on her lips.

 

 

\-------------

 

 

“Hurry up, Lex” Clarke said, banging on the bathroom door, “I’m gonna be late for work” 

Lexa finished rinsing her hair and she stopped the shower, “I’ll be out in a minute!” she shouted before stepping out of the shower and grabbing a towel. 

“We would have saved time if we had showered together” Clarke jokingly said. 

“Shut up, smartass” Lexa shot back, laughter bubbling out of her lips, “You can already come in if you’re in such a hurry to leave my company” 

Clarke walked into the room and faltered in her steps when she took in the almost naked state of the actress. 

The towel covered most of her body but she could still make out smooth skin and long legs, water dripping down the brunette's neck. 

“Everything alright, Clarke?” Lexa smirked. 

The blonde snapped out of it and rolled her eyes, a hint of a smile ghosting her lips, “You’re not that hot, Woods” 

Lexa laughed and grabbed her clothes, “I’ll change in the room so you can shower” she said before walking out of the bathroom. 

Clarke tried to calm her fast beating heart and she ignored the blush that had surely started creeping up her neck. 

She discarded her clothes, knowing her time was limited before she had to head to work.

 

 

\-----------

 

 

Lexa was leaning against the doorway, arms crossed in front of her chest and a soft smile on her lips, “I’ll see you later then?” she asked, hope lacing her voice. 

Clarke smiled, “Yeah, you will” 

Lexa hesitated a little to do what she had wanted to since they woke up in the morning. She cautiously pushed herself off the doorway and leaned down slowly to press her lips against Clarke's. Electricity coursed through her body as their lips slid together and she wondered if it would always feel that amazing to kiss Clarke. It would. She knew it would. 

“See you later” Clarke whispered against her lips. She briefly kissed the actress once more, then walked down the hallway, throwing one last smile over her shoulder before disappearing out of sight. 

Lexa sighed happily. She stared into space with a dumb smile on her face, eyes fixed on the end of the hallway where Clarke was mere seconds ago. On a scale of one to ten, if she had to say how lucky she was and how unbelievable it seemed to her that Clarke genuinely wanted to be her girlfriend, she would say fifteen. 

Her cheeks started hurting from how much she was smiling all the time. Things were now drastically different from before she knew Clarke. To the outside world, Lexa was a strong woman who knew exactly where she was going and who would always give herself the means to succeed through hard work and determination. Truth was, Lexa was as insecure as they come and in constant need of reassurance that she was doing things the right way. Her tough exterior served as a shield, as a way to protect herself from hurt. 

Very few people before had managed to break through that shell, to make those walls shatter and to see the actress for who she really was. Clarke had managed to do that and although it scared her to no end, Lexa couldn’t think of anyone in front of whom she would rather be vulnerable. She wanted Clarke to know every side of her. If she often pretended with the rest of the world, she wanted to be an open book with Clarke. She wanted the blonde to know everything about her and that was scary. That was scary because it meant giving up the control she had over their friendship and relationship. It was scary because it meant taking the risk that Clarke wouldn’t like the real her. 

It was scary but it was so worth it.

 

 

\-----------

 

 

Clarke pulled her apron over her head and finally left the building after a long day at work. Customers kept coming in and out and she was exhausted. 

She stopped in her tracks when she saw Lexa, leaning against her car outside the coffee shop, a bright smile on her lips. 

“What are you doing here?” Clarke asked, her voice laced with unconcealed joy at seeing the actress here. 

“I missed you” Lexa simply said and somehow those three little words caused a fluttering feeling to erupt inside Clarke's stomach. 

Clarke moved closer to kiss her but stopped when she realized they were in public. She clasped her hands in front of her body instead. 

“How many times have people recognized you? Cause you must have been here for quite some time since my shift was prolonged” 

“About a dozen times” Lexa laughed, “But they were really nice. Some girl asked me to sign her shoe” 

Clarke smiled. She unlocked the car and climbed into the passenger seat when Lexa opened the door for her, “So you're driving again?” 

Lexa hummed, “Of course” 

About ten minutes into the ride, Lexa's phone rang. 

“Can you pick that up for me and put it on speaker, please?” she asked. 

Clarke did as told. The number not being registered in Lexa's phone, she didn’t know who was calling. 

“Yes?” Lexa said. 

_“Hey, Lexa. It’s Atom”_ the man on the other end of the line said. 

Lexa repressed a groan, “Hey, what’s up?” she asked, scowling at how fake that just sounded. 

_“I don't know if you've heard but basically they're re-doing the same PR thing from last year. I guess we really were believable in the role of lovers”_ he laughed and Lexa rolled her eyes. 

“Yeah, I bet” 

Clarke tried to hold her laughter in. He really had no idea.

_“I’m not complaining, you know. I enjoyed myself the last time”_

“Of course you did” Lexa said in an even tone, eyes focused on the road ahead. 

_“They told me I should take you out someday so I was thinking next week would be nice”_

“It’s whatever” Lexa replied. 

_“Alright, well, is next Wednesday night okay with you?”_

“I don’t have a choice, do I?” 

He laughed, clearly not understanding how unwelcome his call was, _“I’m pretty sure you don't. It’ll be okay though. They’re doing this to boost our careers and it was pretty fun the last time”_

“To you” Lexa mumbled. 

_“What?”_

“Nothing” Lexa said, “Wednesday is fine. Bye, Atom” she didn’t wait for a reply before motioning for Clarke to end the call. 

Clarke exploded in laughter, “He was so excited about this and you showed absolutely no enthusiasm” 

Lexa smirked, “I don’t have the energy to pretend I’m happy about this. If he is, good for him but he better not try the same shit he did last year” 

“What did he do last year?” 

“Kept trying to kiss me when we posed for photos” she rolled her eyes, “I was two seconds away from clocking him but Anya dragged me away” 

Clarke rolled her eyes, “Dumbass” 

“He really thought he had a chance” Lexa said with an amused smirk, “He kept talking about how it was fate that they would decide to choose us two for that PR stunt” 

“And what did you reply to that?” 

“I kept telling him that it was fake but he just wouldn’t take a hint. Apparently he thinks that he is irresistible and that I was bound to fall for him at some point” 

Clarke rolled her eyes, “Idiot” she said, “So, I’m guessing he's gonna be exactly the same this year” 

“Probably” Lexa sighed, “It’s only one date and one red carpet” 

“Are you sure that'll be it? I mean, maybe this could last a lot longer than just a month” she started fiddling with her nails, speaking aloud what had been plaguing her mind. 

Lexa stopped at a redlight, “I sure hope not” she said, “It was painful enough the last time. Besides, I hate lying to my fans like that. If  it goes too far, I'll demand they put an end to it” Clarke was painfully silent after that. Lexa looked towards her furtively, “Are you okay?” 

Clarke blinked a few times and smiled but it didn’t reach her eyes, “Yeah, I’m fine” 

“You don’t seem fine” Lexa observed. 

As soon as she could, she pulled up before turning the key in the ignition, stopping the car completely. 

“What is it?” she asked, angling her body towards Clarke. 

The blonde shook her head, “It’s nothing, don’t worry” 

“Is this because of Atom? Did I do something wrong?” Lexa's eyes were filled with concern. 

“You didn’t do anything wrong” Clarke refuted in a quiet voice. 

“Then what is it?” Lexa asked but Clarke wouldn't meet her eyes, “Clarke, look at me” she asked. 

No reaction. 

“Please, Clarke” she repeated, “Baby, talk to me” 

The term of endearment caught Clarke's attention and her head snapped up, warmth spreading through her chest. 

“Did I overstep?” Lexa asked, unsure if the use of the word had been unwelcome or not.

Clarke shook her head, then looked back down, “I just…” 

Lexa smiled encouragingly at her. 

“Where does that leave me?” Clarke asked, insecurity seeping into her voice. Blue eyes flicked up to meet green ones, “You already have a busy schedule and on top of that, you’ll be dedicating time to this pretend relationship and I just...it’s stupid but…” 

“It’s not stupid” Lexa interrupted her. She grabbed her hand and kissed the back of it, “I'll make time for you, I promise” 

“You can’t promise something like that” Clarke looked down. 

“Yes, I can” Lexa argued, “I just...I want to be with you so much” she smiled tentatively, “And I’m willing to make all the sacrifices necessary for this to work out” 

Clarke cupped her cheeks and kissed her with utmost delicacy. Her thumb brushed against the actress's bottom lips after she slowly pulled away. 

“I want to believe that” Clarke whispered, “I really do but I’m scared” 

Lexa was about to speak but Clarke wasn’t finished. 

“Do you really think we can survive the distance?” 

Lexa wanted to scream that yes, they could but truth was, she didn’t know that for a fact, “I don’t know but...I want to give this a real chance. I can’t lose this” she gestured between the two of them. 

Clarke nodded and leaned forward to connect their foreheads. The position was uncomfortable since they were still in the car. The blonde let out a small laugh, “My butt hurts from being in this position” she said and it lightened the mood instantly. 

Lexa laughed with her, “I know right. Next time we decide to have a deep, meaningful conversation, I'll make sure we aren’t in the car” 

Clarke smiled, “Good idea” she said and then they fell back into silence. They both felt like a weight had been lifted off their shoulders. This was definitely a conversation they needed to have. 

“I want to take you somewhere I know” Lexa suddenly said. 

Clarke frowned, “ _You_ want to take _me_ somewhere? Lexa, you don’t live in New York. Do you even know anything here?” 

Lexa grinned and nodded, “I found it when I was driving around the last time I was here” she told her. 

Clarke raised a curious eyebrow, “Alright, impress me. But don't you dare damage my car by going through weird paths. This shit cost me a lot” 

Lexa laughed, “I’ll be careful” she promised, then turned the key back in the ignition and drove away. 

Clarke watched through the window as they steered away from the urban side of the city and ventured into a part of it she had never seen despite having lived here for at least four years now. 

Lexa stopped the car about ten minutes later when they reached the top of a hill. She opened her door and hurried to run around the car to open Clarke's. The blonde laughed at her attempts to be romantic and kissed her cheek in thanks, “I can’t believe I’ve never found this place in my four years of living here” 

Lexa tentatively intertwined their fingers. She smiled in relief when she saw that the contact wasn’t unwelcome. Since it was only the beginning of their relationship, she was still unsure what was acceptable or not. Logically, she should have known that Clarke wouldn’t mind physical contact but Lexa was always one to second guess everything. 

Clarke’s thumb traced circles over the back of her hand and the brunette never thought such a small gesture could bring such great comfort. 

They sat down in the grass and Clarke wondered at the sight in front of her. The hill looked onto the city. She was suddenly thankful they were in mid-November because it was almost completely dark, despite it only being six in the evening, and this offered a beautiful scenery. 

The lights of the city could be seen only as small yellow dots from up here and they could faintly hear the sound of cars in the distance. Clarke scooted closer and wrapped both arms around Lexa's right upper arm. 

Her head ever so slowly came to rest on the actress's shoulder and she let out a small contented noise, “This is beautiful” 

Lexa grinned, “It is” 

“I mean, my butt is freezing but it’s so worth it” the barista added with a smirk. 

Lexa laughed loudly, “Come up here” she patted her thighs. 

Clarke settled between Lexa's legs, her back to the brunette's front, and Lexa wrapped her arms around her middle while her chin came to rest against Clarke's shoulder, blonde waves tickling the side of her face. 

“Is this a date?” Clarke asked, a soft smile tugging at her lips. 

“It’s whatever you want it to be” Lexa whispered before ghosting her lips over Clarke's neck, leaving feather-like kisses on it. 

“And if I want it to be?” Clarke asked, turning her head to look at the side of Lexa's face. 

The actress's features were less visible in the dark but Clarke could still make out a chiseled jawline, bright eyes and plump lips. 

“Then it’s a date” Lexa said, smiling as her eyes strayed away from the scenery and flicked down to meet Clarke's. 

The blonde sighed and turned around in Lexa's lap. She grabbed Lexa's hands and toyed with her fingers, “I’m sorry for making you wait this long” she whispered, her words so quiet that they were almost engulfed and covered by the wind. 

Lexa shook her head, “No, Clarke. Don’t apologize” she replied just as quietly, turning her hand in Clarke's to intertwine their fingers, “I told you that I would wait as long as it took. I understand that you needed time to figure out what you wanted and I also understand that being with me is a big commitment, not just because it’s a relationship but also because of my status” 

“You're perfect” Clarke breathed out. 

Lexa let out a small laugh, “I’m really not” 

Clarke closed her eyes and brought her forehead to rest against Lexa's, “I don’t care about your status, by the way” she murmured. 

Lexa smiled and tilted her head up ever so slightly so that their lips could finally meet. She sighed through the kiss and her hands traveled up until they were on Clarke's hips. 

All too soon, she pulled away and Clarke let out a small sound of protest before smashing their lips back together. Her tongue grazed Lexa's lips before being granted access inside and both girls moaned at the same time. Clarke's hands started slipping under Lexa's shirt but the brunette caught them. She stopped the kiss before it could get too heated. As much as she was enjoying it, she didn’t want to go too fast with Clarke. She pushed on Clarke's shoulders with gentle movements.

The blonde frowned and looked at her with puzzlement, the question clear in her eyes, “Did I do something wrong?” her voice was small and tentative, laced with unhidden uncertainty. 

Lexa promptly shook her head, “You didn’t do anything wrong” she reassured her, brushing Clarke's cheek with her fingers, “I just...I want to take this slow” she admitted, “It means a lot to me and...I don’t want us to move too fast” 

Clarke nodded in agreement, “Yeah, you’re right” she said, moving to get off Lexa's lap but strong arms circled her waist, keeping her still. 

“I didn’t say I wanted you to move” Lexa said, hugging her girlfriend close. 

_My girlfriend,_ Lexa repeated the words in her head, a wide smile appearing on her lips at the thought. 

After long minutes, she felt Clarke shiver in her arms and it was her cue to pull away from the embrace and motion for Clarke to get up, “Come on, let’s get you back to your apartment. It’ll be warmer there” 

The drive home was spent in a relatively comfortable silence, Lexa's hands distractedly tapping against the wheel. Clarke wanted to reach out and grab her hand but refrained because she didn't want to steer Lexa's attention away from her driving. Lexa walked Clarke up to her door. She looked down at her watch and saw it was already 6.45pm. They had been out longer than she thought. 

She held the door open and they ascended the stairs with their hands linked together. Clarke unlocked the door of her apartment and stepped inside. 

“Do you want-” 

Her eyebrows furrowed when she saw Lexa still standing at the door. 

“You're not coming in?” 

Lexa shook her head, “I should head back to the hotel. It's getting late and I still need to check in with Anya” 

“Oh...” Clarke let out, not bothering to hide the disappointment she felt. 

Lexa moved inside the apartment and took the blonde's hand in hers, “I’m really sorry about it” 

“Why are you apologizing? It’s okay. I can’t expect you to be with me all the time” 

Lexa smiled and kissed the back of Clarke's hand, “I’ll be back tomorrow, alright? Maybe I can take you somewhere to have lunch?” 

“That sounds great” Clarke's hand moved behind her neck and she toyed with the hair at the bottom of the actress's nape, “Thank you for the past few days” she whispered, her breath hitting Lexa's lips with each word. 

“It was just as amazing to me as it was to you” Lexa gave her a dazzling smile. Her hands circled the blonde's waist, “Have a nice evening” she murmured. 

Clarke reduced the space between their lips, humming into the kiss. One of her hands slipped down until it was holding onto the actress's upper arm while her other hand cupped a rosy cheek. 

Lexa’s lips formed a smile as she repeatedly pecked Clarke's lips, “You’re so beautiful” she murmured in between kisses. 

Clarke’s lips chased Lexa's when the brunette started pulling away, “One more” she whispered and Lexa happily obliged. 

_One more_ turned into a dozen more and six minutes later, Lexa was standing on the other side of the threshold, hands clasped in front of her. 

“I’ll see you tomorrow?” she said. 

Clarke nodded and watched on with a small smile as Lexa turned on her heels to head back outside. She grabbed the actress's arm and placed one last kiss on her lips, “See you” she whispered before slowly stepping into her apartment, walking backwards. 

“See you” Lexa said before walking away, a light, happy bounce in her steps. 

Clarke closed the door and slid against it until her butt hit the floor. Her lips stretched into a wide smile, happiness coursing through her body and a tingling feeling on her lips, where Lexa's had been pressed against only seconds ago. 

However, her smile instantly fell when she opened an internet tab and her eyes landed on a new headline. 

 

**SCOOP:** _Could it be that Lexa Woods is a lesbian!?_ **Exclusive info and photos!**

“Oh shit” she whispered to herself.

 

 

 

 

 


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two years since our dear Commander left our screens. One thing is sure, Lexa will never leave our hearts, as cheesy as that sounds, and I am happy to be able to "keep her alive" through my stories. I also want to personally thank all the people who are still reading the mess that is my stories despite how late the updates come. Thank you.
> 
> Last chapter ended on a cliffhanger so don't hesitate to read the end of it again if it isn't fresh enough in your mind ;)

 

 

 

Lexa knocked on the door. She frowned when she got no reply after a few minutes. It was past noon and she had promised Clarke she would take her out for lunch. 

“Clarke?” she called out. She heard some movement from inside, “Clarke, is that you?” 

The sound stopped. 

The door creaked open and the blonde's sleepy face came through the gap, “Oh, Lexa?” 

The actress smiled, finding Clarke's sleepy voice adorable, “I promised you lunch” 

Clarke nodded, “Right” 

Lexa’s eyebrows furrowed, “You don’t seem very excited. We can take a rain check if you want?” 

Clarke shook her head, “It’s not that, Lex” she grabbed her hand and pulled her inside, “I’m guessing you haven’t seen then” 

“Seen what?” Lexa asked, warmth spreading through her chest at Clarke's use of her nickname.

Clarke sighed, “Come with me” she told the actress before disappearing upstairs. 

“Clarke, you're scaring me. What's wrong?” Lexa asked once they were seated on the bed. 

“Look, I don’t know how…I don’t know who told them but I swear, it wasn't me or any of my friends” 

Lexa laced their fingers, “Hey, what’s going on?” she searched Clarke's eyes but they were fleeing. 

A phone was thrown into her line of vision and her heart skipped a beat, or maybe several, when the words flashed in her head. _Lexa Woods… lesbian?… exclusive photos._

Clarke placed a hand on her knee, “The photos aren’t incriminating in any way. They have nothing to support their claims but...I...I’m sorry” 

Lexa shook her head, “It’s not...it’s not your fault” 

“It might be” Clarke said and Lexa looked at her with puzzlement, “What if this is Finn's twisted way to get back at you?” 

Lexa pondered it. She wouldn’t put it past the man, “Those are just rumors” she said. She didn’t know if she was trying to convince Clarke or herself. 

“Lex, you know you can shut down those rumors very quickly, right? Do you want to call Anya?” 

Lexa shook her head, “I’ll...uhm..I'll deal with it on my own” she cleared her throat, a lump forming there. 

Clarke tentatively moved her hand closer and smiled when Lexa squeezed her hand, “Do you…” she trailed off, “Do you want to talk about this?” 

“What is there to talk about?” Lexa said, looking away, “Everyone will know now and there's nothing I can do about it. I wanted to come out someday, eventually, you know? I wanted to but I wanted it to be on my own terms” words spilled out of her mouth before she could stop them, “This just ruins everything” 

Clarke blinked, “Okay” she nodded, taking it in, “So you’re not okay with this” 

Lexa scoffed because it was obvious she wasn’t. 

“What are you afraid of?” Clarke softly asked, her voice so gentle that it pulled at Lexa's heart strings. 

Lexa raised her shoulders ever so slightly, a defeated look taking over her features, “I don’t know…I just didn’t think it would happen this way”

Clarke felt a rush of anger towards whoever had started the rumor and towards the people who published the article, having no qualms about it. 

“We’ll do something about it” she stated with determination, tightening the hold she had on Lexa's hand. 

“What if I don’t want to?” Lexa spoke quietly. She sighed heavily, “I don't know what I want anymore” 

“You want to come out?” Clarke carefully asked. 

Lexa sighed and brushed a hand over her face, “Yes? I don’t know...I just know that I want it to be on my own terms” 

“Give me your phone, Lex” 

Lexa frowned but obliged, “What…” 

“You’ll come out when you’re ready. Not before that. Certainly not because some asshole thought it would be nice to give away private information to the press” 

Clarke clicked on the twitter app. She typed a tweet and showed it to Lexa, waiting on her approval. 

Lexa hesitated then nodded. 

“Are you sure? This would probably put an end to the rumors” 

Lexa nodded again, “I’m not...I’m not ready” she breathed out, her voice trembling slightly. 

Clarke rubbed circles in the small of her back, “Hey, it’s okay. We go at your pace, alright. No rush” she proceeded to press on the _tweet_ button. 

 **Lexa Woods** @LexaWoods: _Unfounded rumors are really exhausting. Please, have some respect for our private lives_

“Do you feel better?” 

Lexa sighed, “No...I just feel like a coward” she fell onto the bed and lay on her back, hands resting on her stomach and eyes fixed on the ceiling, “Why is it so hard for me?” she asked to no one in particular. 

Clarke lay down next to her, head turned to the side so she could see the side of Lexa's face. 

“Why is it so easy for other people to be proud of their sexuality while I’m still terrified at the idea of letting people know?” 

Clarke took one of her hands and brushed her index over the back of it, “Everyone is different and there's no set time to come out. I told you that already, didn’t I?” 

Lexa hummed. 

“And you can’t compare your situation to others’. I mean, not everyone is a famous actress who plays in one of the most popular tv shows in the United States” 

Lexa rolled her eyes, “It’s not that popular” 

“You’re too modest, Woods” Clarke poked her stomach, “Anyway, what I meant was that whatever you choose to do, the choice is entirely yours” she softly said, “And I’ll support you with whatever you decide” 

Lexa smiled and rolled onto her side to look at her girlfriend, “I’m so lucky to have you” 

“I’m the lucky one” Clarke moved closer and gave her a chaste kiss on the lips, “Now, I believe I was promised lunch”

 

 

\------------

 

 

Lexa winced when the flash of a camera blinded her. She covered her eyes and stepped in front of Clarke to shield her from the few paparazzi gathered outside the diner. 

“Are the rumors true?” one of them asked. 

Lexa ignored them and kept walking towards the car. Unfortunately, the paparazzi were already up close and invading her personal space as well as blocking her way. 

Clarke turned around and held her arms out in front of her to keep them from advancing any closer, “Would you mind giving her some space? 

Seeing as they didn’t move, Clarke started pushing them away in an attempt to keep them from touching Lexa. 

“Jesus” she muttered under her breath, “Have some respect, for fuck’s sake” she told them, blinded by the flash of the cameras, “Climb inside” she told Lexa as soon as they reached the car. 

Clarke pushed the palm of her hand against the lens of a camera, rendering it impossible for the guy to take a picture of them. As soon as she had some more space, she opened the car door and hopped in before hurriedly closing and locking it. 

“Go, go” she told Lexa who instantly started the car to drive away, “Phew” Clarke said, shoulders sagging, “They're intense” 

Lexa scowled, “Sorry you had to be dragged into this” she apologized. 

“It’s okay” 

“For what it's worth, you dealt with it pretty well” Lexa smiled, “Thanks for the help” 

“No worries. I could do this everyday” 

Lexa raised an eyebrow, “I doubt that” 

Clarke laughed, “I didn’t say it wouldn’t annoy me. I just said I could do it” 

The brunette hummed, “Do you want me to drive you back to your apartment?” she asked, throwing a quick glance at the girl beside her. 

Clarke pondered it for a few seconds before shaking her head, “Take a turn left” she instructed and Lexa obliged, curious as to where Clarke was taking them. 

“So now I keep on driving straight?” 

Clarke snorted, “There's nothing straight about us but sure, I’ll tell you when you need to make another turn” 

Lexa shook her head, “Very funny, Clarke” 

“Did you mean, very punny?” 

The actress rolled her eyes, a giggle pushing past her lips. Clarke smiled, “It was awful, Clarke” 

“You laughed” the blonde pointed out. 

Lexa shook her head, “The way you say it is funny. As for the pun itself, allow me to doubt it” 

Clarke grinned and opened the glove box and rummaged through it, “Whose car is this anyway? Make a turn to the right” 

Lexa shrugged, “Anya left it in front of your apartment. I didn’t ask where she had borrowed it from. It’s easier like this cause now I can drop you off at your apartment” 

Clarke hummed, “It doesn’t really change anything because if you drop me off, you’re staying the night too. Don't think I’m letting you go back to your hotel when our time is already limited” 

Lexa's lips curved into a smile and she parked the car when Clarke instructed her to, “Where are we?” 

“Raven’s mechanic shop” Clarke answered, “She stole my keys this morning because she lost hers and I need to get them back” 

Lexa laughed, “I thought you were bringing me somewhere else” 

Clarke smiled apologetically, “We can still do something afterwards but it’s pretty cold. I’m sure my apartment would be more cozy” 

Lexa nodded in agreement and they left the car to enter Raven's workplace. It was noisy, loud music blaring through the shop. 

“Rae?” Clarke called out. 

The latina rolled from under a car and lifted her mask, “Yo, what’s u-” she stopped speaking when she spotted Lexa, “Well, hello” 

The actress gave a shy wave, looking around at the immensity of the place. She felt someone bump into her, “Sorry” she stepped to the side. 

The person who bumped into her, a young adult with dirty clothes took several steps back, “Rae, you didn’t tell me you knew Lexa Woods” 

Raven smirked, “Oh, did I forget to mention it? You see, Miller, Lexa and I are like besties now” she looped an arm around the actress's shoulders. 

Miller blinked twice, “This is so great” he said, a smile drawing itself on his features, “I’m Miller” he extended his hand. 

“Hi” Lexa politely took the offered hand, “It’s nice to meet you and...uhm...could you…?” she pointed at her hand which Miller refused to release. 

“Yeah, right” he moved his hand away then turned towards Clarke, mouthing _holy shit._

The blonde smirked and moved even closer to Lexa. The actress glanced at her and threw her a smile before focusing back on Raven. 

“Catch this, Woods!” Raven shouted before throwing the keys at her. 

Lexa's eyes widened and she clumsily tried and failed to catch them. They fell to the ground after hitting her hand, “Shit” she mumbled as she bent down to pick them up. 

“Smooth, Woods” Raven said, “This is what you came here for, right?” she asked Clarke who nodded. 

Lexa blushed and gave the keys to Clarke, “Here” she mumbled. 

The barista smiled and kissed her cheek in thanks, “Thanks, babe” she whispered in her ear so that only her girlfriend could hear. 

Lexa smiled dumbly and followed after Clarke when the blonde started leaving the building, “Bye!” she quickly said to Raven and her colleagues. 

Lexa slipped into the driver’s seat and put the keys into the ignition. She turned to look at Clarke, an eyebrow raised in a silent question. 

“Let’s go back home” Clarke said, leaning her head against the window, “I’m tired” she then said, sighing deeply. 

Lexa grabbed her hand and gave it a squeeze. Clarke sent her a thankful smile before closing her eyes. 

“Do you think I could ever be more than just a barista?” Clarke asked after some time, startling Lexa who thought her to be asleep. 

“Like what? An artist?” Lexa said, eyes flicking towards Clarke only briefly. 

The blonde hummed. 

“I think you could be whatever you want to be and I might be biased but I’m speaking objectively when I say that your art deserves to be seen by everyone” she smiled as she spoke, “You’re incredibly talented, Clarke. Don’t ever doubt that” 

The blonde grinned, eyes still closed, “Thank you, Lex” 

“Just stating facts” the actress said with a matching smile, “If you really want to pursue art, I think you should. There's no harm in trying”

“I don't think my mother would see it that way” Clarke quietly said. 

Lexa kept silent. Clarke hadn't really talked much about her parents so far. Clarke's tone was still pretty light-hearted thus Lexa assumed the girl's mother wasn’t completely against the idea. 

“She’s proud of me and she has told me many times how beautiful she thought my art was but she has always been worried that it wasn’t reliable enough to turn it into a career” 

“So she would be opposed to you taking a chance at art?” Lexa cautiously asked. 

“I don’t know if she'd be entirely opposed but she would be concerned about what it would entail for my future” 

“I don’t know her but it sounds to me like she wouldn’t step between you and your dream if you ever decided to pursue it” 

Clarke smiled, “Yeah...she would probably support me” she agreed, “After listing all the risks of it, of course” 

Lexa chuckled, “She sounds like a great mom” she commented. 

Clarke hummed, on the verge of falling asleep, “She is” 

“What about your dad?” 

Clarke opened her eyes briefly and smiled, “He has always been my number one fan” 

Lexa hummed, “I guess I’ll have to compete against him to earn that title” 

Clarke laughed, “Careful, he won’t let go of it so easily. You'd have to fight him on this” 

Lexa stopped the car before the apartment building and she unfastened her seatbelt, “We have arrived” she brushed her fingers against the blonde's face, “Wake up” 

Clarke groaned but started stirring nonetheless. She slowly unfastened her seatbelt and opened the car door. 

Lexa slipped a hand under her knees and another one rested against her back, holding her bridal style, “Hang onto my neck” she instructed. 

Clarke hummed and buried her face into the brunette's neck, breathing her in, “Can we take a nap when we're in the apartment? I didn’t sleep much last night” 

“Whatever you need” Lexa replied softly, opening the door of the building with her foot. 

She lowered Clarke onto the ground when they reached the apartment door so that the girl could unlock the door. Instantly, Clarke headed towards the bedroom and dropped on the bed. 

She mumbled something that sounded like Lexa's name and hit the empty side of the bed with the palm of her hand. 

Lexa sat down, “Do you need anything?” 

“My personal teddy bear” Clarke said, tugging on Lexa’s hand to get her to lie down with her. 

The brunette laughed and settled on her back, a hand on her stomach and the other around Clarke while the blonde snuggled against her.

 

 

\-----------

 

 

“Clarke?” 

The blonde hummed and slowly opened her eyes, “What?” 

Lexa felt bad for having to wake up the girl. She had looked so peaceful while sleeping, “I just wanted to ask if I could use your computer. I promised my brother I would call him on Skype” 

“My computer is in the bag right there” she pointed at a bag in the corner of the bedroom, “But first, give me a kiss” 

Lexa grinned and leaned down to place a chaste kiss on Clarke's lips, “I will never get tired of this” she said against her lips before kissing the blonde once more. 

It took only five seconds for Aden’s face to pop on the screen when Lexa started the call, _“Finally! I was starting to think you were dead or something”_

“Unfortunately for you, I’m still alive” 

_“That sucks. I was thinking I could steal your guitar when you die”_

“I’m writing you off of my will” 

Clarke chuckled and Lexa threw her a soft smile. 

 _“Who are you smiling at?”_ Aden asked, being his usual nosy self.

“No one” Lexa answered with a blush. 

Clarke raised an eyebrow at this, “You don’t want to introduce me to your little brother?” 

“Oh, uhm…I mean, yes but…” she stuttered out, “If you want to” 

Clarke grinned and moved on the bed so that her face was now in the frame of the camera. 

 _“Hey, you’re the girl Lex was stalking on social media!”_ Aden exclaimed. 

Clarke smirked and looked at a very flustered Lexa, “Stalking?” she repeated, a glint of amusement dancing in her eyes. 

“I never should have called” Lexa muttered under her breath. 

 _“Hello, I’m Aden”_ the young boy introduced himself. 

“Hey” Clarke waved at him, “I’m Clarke” 

 _“Are you two dating?”_ he cut right through it. 

Lexa coughed, “Okay, that’s enough for today” 

 _“Oh come on, sis”_ Aden rolled his eyes, “ _Don’t be a fucking prude”_

Lexa huffed and Clarke laughed loudly, “I like your brother” she said. 

“Yeah? Well, I don’t” Lexa threw him a glare.

Aden raised his hands, _“I’m just asking an innocent question. To which you have yet to answer for the record”_

Clarke turned towards Lexa, silently asking her question. The actress sighed and nodded.

Clarke grinned and looked at Aden, “We’re together” she announced. 

 _“Woohoo! Way to go, sis!”_ Aden said, clapping his hands together, _“I didn’t know you had it in you”_

Clarke grinned and kissed Lexa's cheek which was covered in a deep blush, “Shut up” the actress mumbled. 

 _“No but seriously, what is a beautiful woman like you doing with my sister?”_ he added, a smirk plastered on his face. 

“Aden, shut the fuck up” Lexa groaned. 

Clarke chuckled, “Well, I think your sister is very beautiful too and I like her very much” she replied. 

Aden hummed, _“Yeah, you pass the test”_

“You’re only saying that cause you think she's hot” Lexa rolled her eyes. 

 _“So do you”_ Aden countered. 

Lexa flushed red again and Clarke laughed, “You look a bit red. Anything of the matter?” 

Lexa threw her an annoyed look and it only caused Clarke's smirk to grow. She pinched Lexa's cheek, “You’re cute when you're flustered” 

Lexa swatted her hand away, “I’m not cute nor flustered” 

_“Liar”_

“Shut up, damn it” Lexa told her brother who was laughing loudly. 

Aden winked at Clarke and the blonde laughed. Lexa, as for her, let out a long groan.

“I already have a hard time dealing with him alone, please don’t team up with him”

_“Too late, sis”_

Clarke raised an eyebrow, “And why wouldn’t I do that?” she said in a seductive voice. 

Lexa smirked, “Bec-” 

_“Please don’t finish that sentence. As happy for you as I am, I do not want to be a witness of you two flirting”_

Clarke chuckled, “He’s really cool” she pointed at the screen, “When are you going to invite him here?” 

“Never” Lexa dryly answered. 

_“I’ll invite myself, it’s cool”_

“As if mom would ever let you travel alone” 

_“I’ll bring her with”_

“I think you forgot she hates planes” Lexa reminded him, “Like, really hates it. Remember the last time you came to visit us?” 

_“She almost ripped the material of the armrest with how tightly she was holding it”_

“Exactly. So don't bring mom into this” 

Clarke moved behind and wrapped her arms around the actress's waist, “I always wanted to have a brother” she commented. 

“Yeah?” Lexa angled her head so she could see her girlfriend. 

“Yeah but my dad is like a best friend to me so I never got bored” 

 _“Having a sibling isn’t all that fun anyway”_ Aden chimed in with a smirk. 

“Shut it, Aden. You love us” 

_“Debatable”_

Clarke laughed at Lexa's betrayed expression. She kissed the actress's cheek and watched with satisfaction as it turned into a bright smile. 

_“You’re whipped, sis”_

“I won’t even deny that” Lexa said, still smiling dumbly, “How are you doing? School not too hard?” 

_“My math teacher is a grade A asshole but besides that, I’m doing alright. Ever since you posted that picture of the two of us, people try to be my friend. Even people I haven’t talked to, ever”_

Lexa laughed, “I did ask you if you were ready for that fame” 

 _“And I am”_ Aden retorted, _“This is the best thing ever. I always have somewhere to sit because everyone just offers me a seat. I got asked out by five girls already and-”_

“Wait, what?” Lexa interrupted, “Who are those girls?” she asked protectively. 

_“I turned all of them down so it doesn’t matter. I’m sure they were just looking for a way to meet you”_

Lexa frowned and squinted her eyes. 

“Aw, you’re being protective” Clarke commented, “It’s cute” she pinched Lexa's cheek. 

The brunette swatted her hands away, “Stop” she whined, “I’m not cute” 

“Sure you're not” Clarke said before kissing her cheek again. 

 _“Anyways, back to my story”_ Aden brought the focus back on himself, _“Everyone is offering me their lunch. Can you believe it? I don't even have to bring my own anymore”_

“Be careful, buddy” Lexa said, “Don’t enjoy this too much cause it probably won’t last” 

_“Why wouldn't it last? It has been going for over three months now”_

“I’m just saying” Lexa raised her hands, “When they get bored of waiting around without you giving them anything in return, they’ll stop altogether” 

_“I’ll just promise them you’ll come to my school the next time you visit”_

“Which I won't do” Lexa pointed out. 

_“Why not?”_

“Because when I come back home, it’s to spend time with my family. Not to be harassed by reporters. We’ve been over this already” 

 _“Okay”_ Aden sighed, _“Can you at least bring her with you?”_

“She has a name” Lexa looked at him pointedly, “And I don’t know if she would even want to come with” she threw a questioning glance at Clarke. 

“I'd love to” Clarke said, “I’ve never been to Australia” 

Lexa smiled, “What about your job here?” 

“Right” Clarke said as though she was only now remembering it, “I still don’t know if I can come to LA with you, by the way. I’d have to talk to my boss about it” 

 _“It'd be dope if you could come”_ Aden commented, _“I’ve never seen my sister so hung up on someone. You should have seen all the texts she has been send-”_

“Okay, that's enough” Lexa loudly said before turning off his mic. The boy’s lips kept moving but no sound reached them. 

Clarke laughed, “Not cool. I wanted to hear about those texts” 

“Of course you did” Lexa smirked. She turned her brother’s mic back on. The boy was speaking while watching his phone. 

_“-tell you how beautiful Clarke is. Her eyes are just soooo blue and-”_

Lexa hurriedly cut off his mic and blushed heavily. Clarke smirked and turned his mic back on, just for the fun of seeing Lexa's ears turn red. And also because she wanted to know about the texts. 

_“-would all love her. She’s amazing. Did I tell you she was an artist yet? She’s sooo talented, you won’t believe it when you see it. I’ll show you her paintings. They're magnificent”_

Aden looked up. 

 _“Should I continue?”_ he asked. 

“Yes” 

“No” 

They replied at the same time. 

“Clarke!” 

“What? It’s adorable” the blonde said with a bright smile. She cupped Lexa's cheek and delicately kissed her lips. 

They pulled apart when they heard gagging sounds. Lexa glared at her little brother, “Be quiet, Aden” 

He simply laughed.

 

 

\------------

 

 

“Your brother is so adorable” Clarke said when they hung up. 

“Not sure he would appreciate the use of this adjective in particular” Lexa said, smiling. 

“Why not? It’s a positive thing” she countered, “I think you’re adorable and you like when I say it” 

“I don't know where you got that information from but it is false” Lexa denied with a blush. 

“You’re adorable” Clarke repeated and watched as Lexa fought off a smile, “See? Works like a charm” 

Lexa's phone rang, “Yes?” 

 _“How you holding up?”_ Anya asked. 

Lexa frowned, “What do you mean?” 

 _“Because of the article about you. The one that was posted last night”_ she clarified, “ _You left before we could talk about it”_

“Right” Lexa said. With everything going on, she had almost forgotten about that, “I’m fine” she half-lied. 

She wasn’t exactly _fine_ with it but she wasn't excessively upset in regards to it. She just hoped the rumors would die down. 

 _“I know this is a lie but I won’t bother you with that”_ Anya said, _“Atom’s managers see this as one more reason to push this PR mess between the two of you”_

Lexa sighed, “Yeah, I expected this” 

 _“You have to admit it would be an easy way to shut down the rumors”_  

“I know” Lexa sighed. Her eyes drifted towards Clarke who was trying to no avail not to eavesdrop on their conversation, “Hold on a second” 

She covered the mic of her phone. 

“Clarke?” 

The blonde's head snapped towards her, “Yeah?” 

“Are you okay with all of this?” 

Clarke nodded and smiled though it didn’t reach her eyes, “Yeah. Why wouldn't I be? You gotta do what you gotta do, right?” she laughed but it sounded forced. 

Lexa leaned forward and rested her forehead against Clarke's, “I’m sorry” she apologized, “I know this isn’t ideal for you” 

Clarke's eyes grew soft, “It’s fine. I knew what I signed up for when I agreed to be your girlfriend” 

_“Lexa?”_

The actress reluctantly pulled away from Clarke and raised the phone near her lips, “Yeah, sorry” 

_“So, no problem with it?”_

Lexa sighed, “Sure, yeah. No problem” 

_“You don’t sound convinced”_

“I don’t really have a choice, do I?” 

 _“You could come out”_ Anya pointed out. 

The simple thought of it sent chills down Lexa's spine. She didn’t feel ready and the more she thought about it the more she felt that she was never going to be. 

“Not yet” 

_“Of course. Whenever you're ready, Lex. I’ll see you soon”_

Lexa pressed the _end call_ button and placed the phone back in her jacket’s pocket. 

Clarke silently climbed into her lap and, again without speaking any words, she wrapped her arms around the brunette. Lexa’s arms came to circle the blonde's waist and she held on tightly, sinking into the embrace which she had no idea she needed so much. 

“It’ll be okay” Clarke whispered before leaving the softest kiss in the crook of Lexa's neck. 

The actress's phone rang again and she groaned when she saw who it was, “Seriously?” she answered the call, “Yes?” her tone had more bite to it than intended. 

_“Lex?”_

“Don’t call me that, Atom”

_“Feisty, I like it”_

“Why are you calling? You better hope it's important because I-” she let out a strangled sound when Clarke started leaving open mouth kisses along her neck, “I don’t have much time” she ended up saying. 

_“Is everything alright?”_

“I’m just dandy” Lexa replied, suppressing a moan when Clarke trailed her lips down to her pulsepoint. 

_“Okay well, I was calling to inform you that the managers want the date to happen on Monday”_

“Yeah okay, whatever” Lexa replied. She wanted to close this conversation as soon as possible. 

Clarke's hand trailed dangerously close to her breasts and Lexa swatted them away, “Be nice” she whispered. 

“I thought I was doing that already” Clarke husked, moving her hands away nonetheless. 

_“Lexa?”_

“Sorry, I’m a bit busy now” 

 _“Oh okay, well, I can call you again later tonight”_ his tone was too suggestive for her liking. 

“I’ll be busy too” she replied in a clipped tone, “See you on Monday” 

_“But you don’t even know what time-”_

Lexa hung up before he could finish his sentence. She grabbed Clarke's shirt in her fists and crashed their lips together. 

The blonde hummed and her hands moved up Lexa's body until they were intertwined behind the brunette’s neck. She played with the baby hair there as she changed the angle of the kiss, deepening it. 

A knock on the door interrupted their impromptu make out session and Lexa groaned, “Is everybody plotting against us today?” 

Clarke pecked her lips before moving to open the door, “Bell? What are you doing here?” 

“Just wanted to say hi, princess” he winked and moved past her, “I brought chocolate and I thought- oh, Lexa’s here too” he noted. 

“Yeah, we had lunch together and then we came back here” Clarke explained, “But it's fine, you can stay” 

Lexa squinted her eyes at him and offered a curt nod before they all sat in the living room, on the sofa. 

“So, when are you going back to LA?” Bellamy asked to cut through the awkwardness. 

“Eager to see me leave?” 

“N-no, that’s not it. I was just...I was just asking” he stuttered out. 

Clarke smacked Lexa's thigh, “Be nice” 

“Like you were back in the bedroom?” Lexa said only for Clarke to hear. She raised an eyebrow and a smirk drew itself on her features. 

Clarke blushed, “No” she mumbled, pointedly ignoring Bellamy’s questioning look. 

“I’m heading back on Sunday morning” Lexa answered his question. 

“Oh, so tomorrow” 

Lexa didn’t miss how Clarke's smile fell at the reminder of how little time they had left together before Lexa had to head back to Los Angeles. 

She reached out for the blonde's hand and stroked the back of it with her thumb, her lips curving upwards into a soft smile meant for her girlfriend only. 

Bellamy eyed their linked hands and frowned before shaking his head, “So, Clarke told me she's considering going to LA with you” 

Lexa nodded, “That would be the plan” she said, “If her boss agrees” 

Bellamy scowled, “Tough call. He almost never gives us supplementary days off” 

“And there's the thing with Niylah” Clarke said, mostly to herself. 

“What thing with Niylah?” Bellamy asked. 

“Nothing” Clarke shook her head and smiled, “Nothing important” 

He didn't seem to believe her but didn’t ask for any further details which Clarke was thankful for. 

“Bell...I’m really sorry to do this but Lexa's leaving tomorrow and I would really love to spend a bit more time alone with her” 

The man nodded in understanding, “Of course” he got up, looked at their joined hands with a hint of jealousy, then left the apartment without an other word. 

Lexa's features were closed off. Her brow was furrowed and her lips weren’t forming their usual smile. 

Clarke squeezed her hand to grasp her attention, “What’s on your mind?” 

“Did you and Bellamy…?” she trailed off. 

“Did we…?” Clarke asked, not understanding, “Oh, you’re asking if we ever dated” 

Lexa gave a nod of confirmation. 

“We never did” Clarke told her, “He’s like a brother to me. I don’t see him like anything more than that” 

“That’s not how he sees it” Lexa grumbled. 

Clarke's lips shifted into a wide grin, “Alexandria Woods, are you jealous?” 

Lexa scoffed, “No” she crossed her arms in front of her chest, “I’m just stating facts” 

Clarke hummed, “Sure” 

Lexa narrowed her eyes, “You could at least act like you believe me” 

Clarke laughed and grabbed the collar of her shirt, bringing their lips only a few inches apart, “I’m not interested in Bellamy. I’m only interested in you” 

Lexa captured her lips between her own and Clarke hummed, tangling her hands in brown curls, “Admit you were jealous” she said in between kisses. 

Lexa smiled through the kiss, “I won’t admit anything” she said when Clarke pulled away. 

“Come on” Clarke lightly hit her shoulder, “Not fun” 

The actress laughed, “I just think there are more important things to talk about than my supposed jealousy but if it makes you feel better then yes, I suppose I was a little jealous” 

“Just a little?” 

“Okay, now you’re just fishing” 

Clarke laughed. She sat cross legged and threaded her fingers together in her lap, “So...you’re going back tomorrow” she said. 

Lexa smiled sadly, “Yeah…” she looked down, “I really wish you could come back with me but...” 

“But it’s not that simple” Clarke finished for her. 

Lexa nodded, “It never is, huh?” she opened her bag and pulled out a chocolate bar, “Look what I got” 

Clarke chuckled, “Again?” she said, “Do you often buy those?” 

“Everytime I travel” Lexa shrugged, “Those things are delicious” 

“But you’re not traveling right now” Clarke pointed out. 

“What’s your point?” 

Clarke laughed, “I’ll buy you this for our first month together” she said. 

Lexa's heart fluttered. _Our first month together._ She liked the sound of that very much. 

“You want some?” 

Clarke shook her head, “It’s yours. I wouldn’t want to keep you from such deliciousness” 

“Twice already that you have refused. I’m starting to think that you simply dislike chocolate and that makes you weird” 

“I don’t see what’s odd about not liking chocolate and besides, it’s not the case for me” 

“Then have some” Lexa cut the bar in half and handed one half to Clarke who rolled her eyes but took it anyway, “See, I knew you couldn’t resist” 

“Yeah, I mean, it’s not like you forced me to eat it or anything” 

Lexa grinned, “I did no such thing” 

“Alright, fine. You used some weird, smart as fuck technique to trick me into accepting the sweet. Same thing” 

“And you fell for it” Lexa stuck her tongue out at her. 

“You're a child and no, I did not fall for it. I just did it to make you happy” 

“Oh yeah?” 

“Yeah” Clarke mumbled around a bite of chocolate. 

“You got a little something here” Lexa said, gesturing to the corner of the girl's mouth. 

“Here?” 

“Higher” 

“Here?” 

Lexa shook her head. She pried Clarke’s hand away from her face and wiped at the chocolate with her thumb before licking it clean. 

Clarke's eyes darkened and she cleared her throat, “Thanks” she quietly said, flustered. 

“You still have a little” 

“Really?” 

Lexa's shook her head, “No, I just wanted an excuse to kiss you” 

Clarke's eyes became filled with fondness and she scooted closer until their noses were brushing, “You don’t need an excuse” 

She left several kisses on plump lips before pulling away slightly to leave one more on the tip of the actress's nose. 

“You have a thing with kissing my nose” Lexa pointed out with a smile. 

“I can stop if you don’t like it” Clarke smirked. 

Lexa shrugged, “No, it’s okay. You can continue doing it if you want” she tried to say it as nonchalantly as possible. 

Clarke lay down and opened her arms, “Come here” she said. 

Lexa followed, copying her movements and Clarke made her roll around before she wrapped her arms around the brunette, her front pressed against Lexa's back. 

“Clarke” 

“Hm?” 

“Why am I the little spoon?” 

“Why not?” 

“I’m never the little spoon” 

Clarke kissed the nape of her neck, “There's a first time for everything” she whispered, “Though, if you really want to be the big spoon…” 

Lexa shook her head, “No” she quietly said, “This is nice” 

Clarke smiled, “I thought so”

 

 

\------------

 

 

“You're leaving tomorrow? But I barely had time to ask my questions” Raven whined when she came back home. 

“That’s probably for the best” Clarke said. 

“Shut up, Griffin” Raven said, “I still expect those VIP passes so move your cute ass and get me some” 

Lexa frowned, “VIP passes?” 

Clarke nodded, “She wants to watch the filming of the show and thinks I’m the only one able to get authorization for that because I’m dating you” 

Lexa hummed, “I did invite you to come. I can extend this invitation to Raven. It’s not a problem at all” 

Raven all but jumped on her, wrapping her arms tightly around the actress, “THANK YOU!!” she yelled in her ear, causing the brunette to wince slightly. 

“I’ll just call my boss” Clarke announced, showing her phone. 

Lexa nodded and watched as the blonde isolated herself in the kitchen to make the call. 

“Tell me everything” Raven said. 

“About what?” 

“Global warming” the latina rolled her eyes, “You, obviously” 

“I’m pretty sure you already know everything that’s been said about me online” 

“Yeah but I want real stuff. Those things in magazines are worthless and in general just a pile of bullshit” 

“Well...uh...I was adopted”

“I know” 

Lexa laughed, “I have a little brother who’s the worst but I love him very much” 

“I know” 

“Of course you do” Lexa said, “My sister is also my manager. She has always supported me in whatever I chose to do. She left for America to pursue her studies and I left shortly after to pursue my dream to become an actress” 

“I didn’t know that” 

Lexa smiled, “She encouraged me to create a second twitter account where I met Clarke” she continued, “And your best friend has quite literally altered my life” 

“Aww, that's cute” Raven cooed, “You’re so whipped already” 

Lexa laughed, “I just like her very much. I don't know if that makes me whipped but I’ll take it” 

“I have to warn you, though. If you ever hurt her, I won’t hesitate to make you pay for it. It would be hard, God it would be so hard, but Clarke is such a beautiful person and she deserves someone who treats her right” 

“I know” Lexa nodded seriously, “And I swear to do everything I can to make her as happy as possible. This is all I want” 

Raven nodded and was about to add something but Clarke walked back into the living room, “Can you leave us two minutes, Raven?” 

“Sure” the girl said, “I count on you, Woods” 

Lexa answered with a nod. 

“What was that about?” 

“Nothing” Lexa said, “You wanted to talk?” 

“Yeah...my boss won’t let me take more days off so I can't come to LA with you...I’m really sorry” 

“Oh” 

To say Lexa was disappointed would be an understatement but she was intent on not letting it show too much. 

“It’s okay. There will be other occasions. It’s not your fault so you don’t have to apologize” 

Clarke sighed, “I just kind of hoped he would say yes but I guess, upsetting his daughter wasn’t a good idea” 

Lexa linked their fingers, “You weren’t going to keep on enduring Niylah's bullshit. I’m proud of you for standing up for yourself. She needed to understand” 

“Yeah, well, she probably doesn't” Clarke shrugged, “And I’ll probably get fired before the end of the month anyway” 

“Don’t say that…” Lexa softly said, “I’m sure it’ll be alright” 

“Maybe…” Clarke evasively replied. She frowned when she heard some noise from the kitchen, “Raven...are you spying on us?” 

“Nooo” Raven said in an exaggerated voice, “I’m not Raven. Raven isn’t here at all. This is the room service” 

Clarke shook her head at Raven's antics, “You can come back in, dummy” 

“Yesss” Raven said, “Let's make this a little more interesting, shall we?” 

Clarke narrowed her eyes, “What do you mean?” 

“Two truths, one lie” Raven said, “Rules are simple” she said, looking at Lexa, “You-” 

“Tell two truths and one lie” Lexa cut her off, “I don’t live under a rock and it's literally in the title” 

“Then you can go first, smarty pants” 

Lexa sat more comfortably on the couch and thought for a moment, “I was adopted, I once went skinny dipping, I studied psychology in College” 

Raven grinned, “Easy. The lie was that you went skinny dipping” 

Lexa smirked, “No, that was actually true” she revealed, “It was during a vacation in Hawaii with the cast” 

Clarke raised both eyebrows in surprise, “I didn’t think you were like that” she poked her stomach. 

“I’m full of surprises” 

Clarke hummed, “I see that” 

“So...what was the lie?” Raven asked. 

“College” Lexa answered, “I actually went to college for a week before realizing it wasn’t what I wanted to do at all” 

“Your turn, Clarkey” 

“Don’t call me that” the blonde rolled her eyes, “Okay, hm...I was part of the cheerleading squad in high school, I ended up in the hospital for a week after I tried to impress my fellow classmates by climbing a tree, and finally, I once passed out in a hospital after a blood test” 

Lexa stared at her intently, “I have no fucking clue” she said, “The cheerleading thing, I think it’s true” 

“Why?” Clarke laughed. 

“It just fits you, I guess” Lexa shrugged, “Hot blonde with a killer body and I’m assuming you were popular in high school” 

Clarke nodded, accepting that answer, “I was popular, as a matter of fact, but I hated it. I could never tell if someone liked me for more than my popular status” 

“And I don't think you passed out in the middle of a hospital” 

“I did, actually” Clarke replied with a smug grin, “My blood sugar was too low and I hadn't slept properly the night before. At least I was already in the hospital so that was pretty convenient” 

Lexa chuckled, “How far off was I about the cheerleading?” 

“Spot on, actually” Clarke smiled, “I was the captain of the cheerleading squad but I was in no way as bitchy as cheerleaders are depicted to be” 

“And you never climbed a tree and injured yourself” 

“Nope” Clarke shook her head, “I’ve never been much of an outdoorsy person and I am afraid of heights. No way am I going to climb a freaking tree” 

“Raven?” Lexa turned towards the girl who promptly shook her head. 

“Keep playing. It’s interesting” 

“Okay…” Lexa hummed, trying to think of three new anecdotes, “I never ate a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, I went skydiving a couple times, and I have no idea where my biological parents are” 

Clarke scanned her face as she spoke the words, “The lie is...that you never ate a peanut butter and jelly sandwich” 

“Yes” 

Clarke raised her arms in the air in victory, “Yesss” she said, “Wait, you went skydiving?” 

Lexa nodded, “It was one of the things I had always wanted to do. The first time was three years ago and I did it again a year and half ago” 

“I could never do that” Clarke said, “With my fear of heights and everything, I would probably hide in a corner of the helicopter” 

Lexa laughed, “Let’s not risk that” 

“Wise choice, Woods” 

Raven got up, “I’m hungry. I’ll stop by the chinese restaurant. What do you guys want?” 

“Same as always” Clarke said. 

Lexa hesitated, “The same as her” she ended up saying. 

“You don't even know what I’m having” Clarke pointed out with a smile. 

“It can’t be that bad” Lexa reasoned, “You didn’t order something odd, right?” 

Clarke grinned, “Frog legs” 

Lexa's eyes widened and she was about to tell Raven to change her order when Clarke started laughing. 

“I can’t believe you believed me” she said, “I was just kidding, I’m having sushi” 

“Oh okay” Lexa nodded, “Then the same as her” she reiterated. 

“Alright, kids. I’ll be back in thirty minutes. Be good” Raven said before leaving the apartment. 

“So what do y-” 

“Would you like to-” 

They spoke at the same time and chuckled a bit, “Go ahead” Lexa said.

“I was wondering if you wanted to play some video games or something” she suggested, hoping that Lexa wouldn't find it too childish of an idea. 

“I’d love to” Lexa smiled brightly, “What kind of games have you got?” 

“I got, _Fifa, Mario Kart, Injustice II,_ and a bunch of other games that are only made for a single player” 

“Mario Kart” Lexa said, eyes bright and excited, “I haven’t played in months” 

Clarke got up to fetch the game. She put it inside her game console and took two controllers from the cupboard in the table underneath the tv. 

“Get ready to have your ass handed to you” Clarke said as she turned on the tv and handed one of the controllers to the actress. 

Lexa laughed, “Speak for yourself. I’ll have you know I’m very good at this” 

“You are, now?” Clarke said, an eyebrow raised. 

Lexa hummed, “You’ll see” 

Clarke moved closer and pressed a lingering kiss on Lexa's cheek, “I like you but I won’t let you win” 

Lexa blushed and her stomach fluttered pleasantly, “I don’t expect you to” she said, “I will beat you fair and square” 

Clarke smiled, “You're all talk but I have yet to see those skills you talk about” 

“What are you waiting for then?” Lexa nodded towards the tv screen, “Let’s begin” 

The first two races were won by Clarke but Lexa evened the score by winning two others. Now, it was the last race, the decisive one. The one that would settle who the ultimate winner was. 

Clarke started the race and smiled at the way Lexa's brow creased in intense focus. Lexa was not going to let her win, that was for sure. 

After the first lap of the race, Lexa was a bit behind so Clarke looked at her briefly, just to see a very determined look in her eyes. 

Lexa took advantage of that to throw a red shell at the blonde's character, “No!” Clarke shouted when Lexa drove past her. 

“Something wrong, Clarke?” 

“You're a jerk and I will get back at you for that” Clarke said, drawing a laugh from the brunette who was now in first position.

Lexa kept her first position for one more lap until Clarke used a mushroom to drive past her. 

“Shit” Lexa muttered under her breath. She had one more lap to win the race.

Clarke was so close to winning. She dodged each banana and green shell thrown at her and successfully completed two thirds of the lap. 

“Dammit” Lexa whispered. 

They were nearly side to side for the final stretch of the race. Clarke drove past the final line half a second before Lexa and she threw her controller to the side. 

“Yessss!” she shouted, raising her arms in the air. 

Lexa placed her controller next to her and pouted, “Oh, come on. I was so close” she said. 

Clarke smiled smugly, “I thought you were supposed to _beat me fair and square_?” she repeated Lexa's former words. 

Lexa gave her a fake smile and crossed her arms in front of her chest, “I want a rematch” 

“Later, baby” Clarke said. 

Lexa's heart jumped at the term of endearment and it almost made her forget entirely how bummed out she was about not winning. Almost. 

“Next time, you will lose” the actress pointed a warning finger at her. 

Clarke smirked and stepped forward until she reached the couch. She climbed into Lexa's lap, “You were pretty good” she conceded, “But it wasn’t enough to beat me” she added. 

Lexa shook her head, “I’ll let you gloat about your victory but only cause you’re cute” her hands found their home in the curve of the blonde's hips. 

Clarke grinned and connected their lips. Lexa melted into the kiss instantly. Her hands gripped Clarke's hips tighter. She would never get enough of kissing Clarke. 

Lexa disconnected their lips only for a brief moment before fusing them back together in an earth-shattering kiss, the brunette's heart hammering into her chest with each passing second. 

Lexa pulled away just to look into Clarke's eyes for a moment, “You’re so beautiful” she said, her voice barely louder than a whisper. 

Clarke’s cheeks reddened and she looked down, “So are you”

Lexa tucked a loose strand of hair behind Clarke's ear, “This all feels like a dream” she stared up at the blonde, pure awe and a hint of disbelief dancing in her eyes. 

“It’s very real” Clarke replied, amused and endeared at how the actress just couldn’t get herself to believe this was really happening. 

“You're one of the best things that’s ever happened to me” Lexa confessed, “I’m so scared I’ll fuck this up. You have no idea how badly I want this to work out” 

Clarke rested her forehead against Lexa's, her hands framing the actress's face, “And it will” she affirmed, “We’ll do everything to make this work. I’m in this one hundred percent” 

The apartment door opened and Raven walked into the living room with food in hands, “Aww, so cute. You guys were having a moment” 

Clarke rolled her eyes and begrudgingly moved off her girlfriend's lap, not without pecking her lips one more time.

 

 

\------------

 

 

“Come closer” Clarke whispered once they were lying in bed, “I want to enjoy the last moments I have with you before you leave for LA” 

Lexa complied. She didn’t need much convincing anyway. She had a constant need of closeness to Clarke whenever she was around. It was inexplicable. 

In none of her previous relationships had she ever been so hung up on the other person and so admirative of everything that made the person who they are. 

She had been attentive to what they liked and disliked but she had never felt this feeling of constantly wanting the other to be as happy as one can be.

She has never felt such need to make the other person feel comfortable and protected. Clarke was special. Somehow, Lexa had figured that out after only one week of speaking to each other. 

“What’s got you thinking so much?” Clarke pulled her away from her thoughts, bringing her back to the present.

“I was just thinking of how lucky I am to have you” Lexa said, her voice taking on a fond and soft tone, “I don’t know where I’d be right now if I hadn’t met you but my life would probably suck” 

“That’s one of the nicest things someone has ever said to me” Clarke breathed out, scooting even closer to the actress. 

“People are fools to not tell you things like that more often” Lexa spoke honestly. 

Her arm moved slowly to wrap around Clarke's waist and bring their bodies even more closely pressed together, leaving no space in between. 

Clarke nudged Lexa's nose with her own and delicately presses her lips against the actress's, “I don’t want to sleep yet” 

Lexa smiled, “I know but you have to. It's already late” 

Clarke’s brow creased in disappointment, “Why do you have to leave?” she asked to no one in particular. 

Lexa dragged her thumb down Clarke's bottom lip, “I’m sorry I have to leave” she whispered. 

Clarke smiled, “You’re even apologizing for things that aren’t your fault. Stop being so damn perfect” 

“I’m not perfect” Lexa said, blushing at the compliment. 

“You just can’t take a compliment, can you?” the blonde asked, her index tracing along the brunette's jawline. 

“I can” Lexa argued, “When I think it is deserved” 

Clarke buried her face in the older woman's neck. She left a gentle kiss on the skin of the brunette's neck.

They ended up falling asleep despite their will to remain awake, their legs tangled together and not an inch of space between their two bodies.

 

 

\------------

 

 

Lexa strolled through the airport until they reached customs. She sat down on the floor, ignoring the inquisitive looks she received, and Clarke followed suit. 

“So this is it” the blonde, “You're going back” 

Lexa nodded, “I really, really don’t want to, you know” 

Clarke nodded, “Yeah...I know” she almost kissed Lexa but remembered in time that they were in a public place. 

Lexa saw the way Clarke had moved closer. She looked around and saw that no one was looking their way. She almost convinced herself to kiss the blonde briefly. Almost. The risk was too high. 

The blonde wrapped her arms around Lexa's biceps and held it tightly, her head dropping slowly to rest on the brunette's strong shoulder. 

“Call me when you land?” she quietly said. 

“That’ll be the first thing I do after getting off the plane” Lexa leaned her head against Clarke's. 

Clarke felt a fluttering feeling in her stomach and she nudged Lexa's neck with her nose, “I’ll miss you so much” 

Lexa gave her a sad smile, “Me too” she whispered, “More than you think” she added, “I’ll call you everyday” 

“You better” Clarke said with a small chuckle. 

Anya walked up to Lexa, “Here” she handed her the plane ticket, “They start boarding in about forty minutes. I’ll give you guys some privacy…” 

“Thanks, An” Lexa smiled in thanks and waited for her sister to be out of hearing range before speaking again, “I need you to know how serious I am about all this” she said, “I don't want you to think I’m taking this lightly” 

Clarke caressed Lexa's face with her fingertips, “I know” she said with a smile before pulling her hand away from the actress's face, “I’m serious about this too” 

Lexa's lips pulled into a soft smile and she very discreetly linked her fingers with Clarke's.

 

 

\-----------

 

 

Lexa looked at Clarke, a hint of mischief in her eyes that had Clarke waiting in anticipation of the actress's next words. 

“Did it hurt?” she said, grinning widely. 

Clarke rolled her eyes, used to Lexa's lame jokes by now, “Let me guess, when I fell from heaven?” 

“No” Lexa replied, “When you fell for me” 

A laugh escaped Clarke's lips and she punched Lexa's shoulder, “You're an idiot” 

“I couldn’t leave without telling you one of my lame jokes, could I?” 

Clarke shook her head, “It's cute how hard you try to be funny” 

“You laughed” Lexa pointed out, “So my sense of humor might be crappy but so is yours” 

Clarke hummed, “Sure, if you think so” 

She looked down at her watch. _Twenty minutes before boarding._ She let out a deep sigh, then abruptly rose to her feet, “Follow me” 

Lexa frowned, “Clarke, boarding starts soon” she reminded gently. 

“I know, and we'll be back by then” 

Lexa curiously followed after the blonde who led them towards a secluded area of the airport. It was a dead end and no one was around. 

Lexa couldn’t comprehend why they were here, “Clarke, what are we-” 

Her words turned into a yelp of surprise when Clarke pushed her against the wall and pressed her body against the actress's.

Impatient lips slammed against her own and Lexa's hand instinctively rose to meet the curve of Clarke's hips, just as a pleased hum broke free. 

Lexa gripped the fabric of Clarke's shirt and kissed her vigorously, the blonde's lips hot on her own, eager hands roaming the brunette's covered stomach. 

A moan broke free and neither of them knew who had emitted it, far too wrapped up in one another to even care at this point. Lexa changed the angle of the kiss, deepening it. 

Clarke pulled away to breathe for a moment, before diving right back in, her hands slipping under Lexa's shirt. 

The brunette's heart was beating loudly, threatening to break out of her chest with how hard it was pounding and she used the small part of her brain that was still attached to reality to remember that they were still in a public place. 

She turned them around and Clarke's back hit the wall behind them, drawing a moan from her, the sound of it almost convincing Lexa to forget about their current location and to completely lose herself in the kiss and in the feel of Clarke's curves under her fingertips, of her body pressed against her own. 

She placed both hands on Clarke's shoulders and reluctantly moved away, her heart jumping upon hearing the sound of protest that left Clarke's kiss-swollen lips, “We should slow down” she breathlessly said. 

Blue eyes fluttered open and Lexa could see how hooded with desire they had become. The blue of Clarke's eyes was almost gone behind her dilated pupils, “Why?” Clarke asked, her mind still foggy. 

Lexa chuckled, “Because we're still at the airport and someone could walk in here at any moment” 

Clarke blinked a few times and nodded, “Of course” she said in a breathy voice, “We can go back” she then said. 

Lexa shook her head and wrapped her arms around the blonde, “I didn’t say I wanted to go back” she whispered, “We still have a few minutes to kill” 

Her lips brushed innocently against Clarke's neck, leaving delicate kisses on it, “I’m going to miss this” she said, absentmindedly stroking the small of Clarke's back with her index fingers. 

“I’m going to miss you” Clarke murmured, “Your lame jokes and your annoyingly perfect face” 

Lexa laughed, “You like my face” 

“I do” Clarke traced the outline of her jaw with her index, “You're beautiful” 

Lexa's lips turned into a smile, her eyes bright with unhidden happiness. She leaned down to kiss Clarke's lips chastely, knowing they didn’t have time for anything more. 

“I have to head back before Anya notices I’m gone” Lexa regretfully said. 

As if on cue, her phone rang. 

 _“Lexa, where are you?”_ Anya asked, her voice hinted with slight panic, _“Boarding begins in ten minutes and we still have to get to the gate”_

“I’ll be there, don’t worry. Sorry for not warning you” 

 _“Just hurry”_ Anya said before hanging up. 

Lexa started laughing as soon as the call ended, “I feel like a teenager again, sneaking out of class to make out with my girlfriend” 

“You did that?” 

“Once. When I was eighteen” Lexa hummed, “We got caught by the principal and I never tried anything like that again” 

Clarke smirked and her fingers traced down Lexa's arm to intertwine their fingers, “You were that kind of student?” 

Lexa shook her head, her lips pulled into a smile, “I wasn’t” she denied, “I was just influenced by a pretty girl’s smile. I was her willing victim” 

Clarke laughed, “Poor you” 

“Exactly” she checked her watch and let out a deep sigh, “We have to head back. My sister will rip my head off if I make her wait longer” 

Clarke stepped closer and kissed her one last time, “Sorry” she then whispered, her breath landing on plump lips, “I just...we won’t get the chance to do this for a while so-” 

Lexa interrupted her by joining their lips once more. Their lips turned into smiles, rendering the kiss somewhat awkward, not that either of them cared. 

“Let’s go back” Lexa whispered before grabbing her hand and leading them back where Anya was waiting for them.

 

 

\-----------

 

 

“This is the farthest I can go…” Clarke sighed, looking down at her watch, “You have to leave or else you’ll be late” 

Lexa surged forward and wrapped her in a tight hug. Not an inch of space was left between their bodies, “I’ll miss you” 

Clarke breathed in the now familiar smell she associated with Lexa and buried her face in the brunette's neck, lips grazing her skin. 

Lexa started pulling away but arms tightened against her waist. 

“I don’t want to let go” Clarke quietly confessed, “Cause I know the second I let go of you, you’ll have to leave” 

Lexa dropped a kiss on the top of her head, “I’ll call you everyday” 

“You can’t promise that. Your schedule is going to be crazy once you go back there” 

“I’ll try my best to call you everyday then” Lexa said, “No matter how tired I am” 

“Lexa…” Clarke breathed out with a small shake of her head. 

“What?” 

“I don't want you to push your limits for me. If you're tired, go to sleep and we'll talk some other day” 

“But-” 

Clarke hushed her, “It’s not up for discussion” 

Lexa wanted to argue further but kept quiet. She closed her eyes and melted into the embrace, “I want to kiss you so badly right now” 

Clarke pulled away, “Me too...but we can’t” she regretfully said. 

Lexa looked down, “I’m sorry for imposing this on you” 

Clarke discreetly grabbed her hand, “It’s okay” she softly reassured the actress, “I don’t mind” 

“Yet” Lexa said, “Not yet but maybe in the future you will”

“Then we'll talk about it in the future. Right now, it’s not a problem so stop worrying about it, alright?” 

Lexa nodded and let out a heavy sigh when she saw it was time for her to go. A few meters away from them, Anya was signaling for her to cut it short. 

“I have to go” 

“I know” 

“I don’t want to” 

“I know” 

Lexa knew if she didn’t leave now, she never would. She hugged Clarke one more time, “Bye” she quietly whispered before walking away. 

“Bye” she heard Clarke say behind her but she didn’t turn around. If she did, she would run back into Clarke's arms and she couldn’t. 

She dejectedly strode through the airport until she and Anya reached the boarding gate. There were only a few people left and they hurried to show their passport so they could be allowed entrance on the plane. 

Anya dropped a hand on her shoulder when they were heading inside the plane, “You okay?” 

Lexa merely shrugged. 

“I know you'll miss her but this isn’t the last time you'll see each other. There will be plenty of occasions” 

Lexa gave a small smile but it didn’t reach her eyes, “Yeah...I know. It just...I feel like…” she groaned, frustrated at her inability to put into words what she was feeling. 

“Like a part of you is staying in New York with Clarke?” Anya said. 

“That sounds like an exaggeration” Lexa commented, “But yes” her shoulders sagged, “Is it normal to feel this way after only a few days?” 

“It can be” Anya shrugged. 

Lexa nodded. She barely managed to sleep during the flight, her mind playing in repeat the events of the past few days. 

_Clarke laughing._

_Clarke sleeping cuddled up to her._

_Clarke kissing her._

How was it possible to feel such need to be close to someone? How did Clarke manage to break through her barriers so easily? How could she be sure her heart was safe from heartbreak? 

Those were just a few of the questions swimming inside her head. She had many valid reasons to feel scared about this newfound relationship, yet the joy being with Clarke brought to her overruled all of those reasons. 

Clarke made her forget about her fears.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have never been as proud to be part of something as I am to be part of the lgbtq+ community and of the Clexa fandom. Clexa lives on through us, through fanfics, fanart, and our unrelenting support to both Eliza and Alycia in their respective projects. Thank you all for still being here after all this time. Keep being amazing.


	14. Chapter 14

 

Lexa sighed when she dropped on her bed, in her residence in Los Angeles. She stared up at the ceiling and a frown appeared on her features.

Most people, when they come back home after being away for a long time, they have a tendency to feel happy, to feel free again. She didn’t feel any of that. She just felt lonely in that moment.

Leaving Clarke was harder than she thought it would be. It hadn’t even been twenty-four hours and she already missed her.

She missed her smile. She missed the faint whiff of vanilla that always reached her senses whenever she was close to Clarke. She missed the feel of Clarke's lips against her own. She missed the way butterflies erupted in her stomach whenever blue eyes would settle on her.

She grabbed her phone and called her girlfriend. It only rang twice before the call was picked up.

_“Hey.”_

Lexa relished in the sound of her voice for a second before speaking again. She closed her eyes and sighed, “I miss you already.”

 _“Me too.”_ Clarke admitted quietly, _“But you have so many things coming up. The filming of your show, the award ceremony, the...the dinner with Atom.”_

Lexa groaned, “Don’t remind me. Tomorrow night is going to be awful.”

_“You could decide not to do it.”_

“I know.” Lexa said, “But…”

 _“But going through with it would take speculations about your sexuality away.”_ Clarke completed for her, _“I get it, Lexa.”_

The actress raised her eyes towards the ceiling, “I’m sorry.” she whispered.

 _“Don’t be.”_ Clarke replied in an equally gentle voice, _“What I was trying to say is that all of those things, it’ll keep you busy.”_

“Being busy won’t keep me from thinking about you.” Lexa countered, “Are you sure there isn’t a way for you to come here?”

_“I can try to talk about it with my boss again but I’m afraid if I annoy him with it too much, it’ll make him angry.”_

“I understand.” Lexa said, “If not now, I'll come back to visit you as soon as possible.”

_“How was the flight?”_

“Tiring.” Lexa answered, “It would have been better if you were there.”

 _“It would have been just as tiring.”_ Clarke chuckled, _“And you would have gotten bored of my incessant talking.”_

“I would never.”

_“Oh, by the way, you left one of your sweatshirts in my apartment.”_

“I did?”

_“Yes, but I’m not complaining. Now I have something to hug when I really miss you.”_

“That’s unfair. I don't have anything of yours.”

_“Check your suitcase.”_

Lexa frowned and opened her suitcase. She smiled when she saw Clarke's favorite sweater on top of all her clothes. She brought it up to her nose, “It smells like you.” she smiled, placing it on her thigh and tracing the material with her hand.

_“I thought you might like it.”_

“I do.” Lexa grinned, still looking down at the piece of clothing, “You won't miss it too much?”

_“I know it’s in good hands.”_

Lexa's lips stretched into a smile.

A knock on her door disturbed her newfound bubble of happiness and she pushed herself up.

“There's someone at the door.” she told Clarke before peeking through the peephole. She sighed, “It’s Anya. I probably have somewhere to be.”

She pulled the door open and Anya instantly started speaking, “We have a meeting with the producers. They need to run a few chemistry tests between you and Luna to make sure it is the right call to pair up your two characters.”

“Aren’t the episodes already written?” Lexa asked, confused.

“Yeah but that storyline isn’t a main one yet so it doesn't have much impact on the way the episodes flow together. They can still change things in case it doesn't work.”

Lexa nodded, “Give me two minutes and I’ll be ready.”

Anya nodded and Lexa closed the door to the apartment, “Clarke, I’m sorry but I have to go.”

 _“I know. I heard.”_ Clarke replied, _“Have fun.”_ she then said, disappointment lacing her voice.

“I’ll call you as soon as it’s over. I promise.”

_“Lexa, you don’t know what will happen after that. Don’t make those kind of promises.”_

Lexa's face fell, “I know...I’m sorry.”

_“No, I’m sorry. That wasn’t the right way to put it. I just...I would rather you don’t make any promises like this one because otherwise, I'll be hurt when you can’t follow through on those promises.”_

“I…”

_“I’m not blaming you. I just know your schedule doesn’t allow yourself much time. And I’m okay with it. I just…”_

“I understand, Clarke. I won’t make promises that I’m not sure to keep.” Lexa told her, “I really have to go now.”

_“Go be your amazing self.”_

“You’re exaggerating.”

_“Only a little.”_

“Bye, Clarke.”

_“Bye, Lexa.”_

She heard the sound of the phone being hung up and fell on the bed, hands covering her face, “This is so hard.” she mumbled against her hands.

 

 

\--------------

 

 

“Luna.” Lexa offered a small smile, “It’s good to see you.”

Luna mirrored her smile and walked closer to give her a hug, “It’s nice to see you too, Lex.” she said, “I’m sorry for being such a bitch lately.”

“You weren’t being a bitch, Lu.”

“I kinda was.”

“Nonsense.” Lexa shook her head, “You were hurt, understandably so. I just want things to be back to the way they were before.”

Luna pulled away from the hug, “Of course.” she smiled, “Thank you for not acting weird about it.”

Lexa nodded, “You’re one of my best friends. I don't want to lose you.”

Luna’s eyes grew watery, “I don't want to lose you either. I acted like an idiot but I care about our friendship more than anything so…” she trailed off.

Lexa hugged her once more. The clearing of a throat forced them apart. A young man was looking at them with a raised eyebrow, “He's waiting for you on third floor. Number 307.”

 ** _We know where it is,_** Lexa thought to herself, having been here about a couple hundred times already.

She knocked on the door and waited for the permission to enter before stepping inside, Luna in tow.

“Please, sit.” the producer instructed, “We’ll go over a few details before going into the more important stuff.”

“Sure.” Lexa sat down, followed by Luna.

He proceeded to ask them what they felt comfortable with and how far they could take it.

Once that was done _-it only took about ten minutes-_ , they were instructed to stand up and scripts were handed to them. Another producer joined them soon after.

They played out the scenes with as much emotion as they could master, not having prepared for it in any way. After two long hours, one of the producers clapped his hands excitedly.

“It was perfect!” he praised, “This is going to be awesome, girls. Thank you for your time.”

Luna nodded, “Can we go back home or do you need us for something else?”

The producer thought for a moment before shaking his head, “No, it was enough. Thank you.”

Luna walked out first and Lexa followed after her, “So, apparently that was convincing enough.”

Luna laughed but didn’t comment any further. All things considered, the girl's laugh sounded rather fake.

“Is something wrong?” Lexa asked.

Luna shook her head, “Everything is fine.”

Lexa stopped and grabbed Luna's hand, causing the woman to stop in her tracks, “What’s wrong?”

Luna shrugged, “I think they’re going to kill off my character.” she simply said, “And I don’t have a backup plan if that happens.”

“What do you mean?” Lexa was confused. She didn’t see what could have led Luna to think this.

“Have you paid attention to the last few episodes we shot? Everyone is dying one by one. And who better to kill off than the girlfriend of one of the main protagonists? Also, they have been acting strange towards me lately. As if they know I won’t be around for much longer.”

“I think you're being paranoid.” Lexa said, “They wouldn't kill off a character right after they got in a relationship. They would wait a couple seasons at least.”

“I don’t exactly trust straight men with the future of lgbt characters.” Luna said, “History has a way of repeating itself and if I know anything about lgbt characters’ history, it is that they have a tendency to end up dead or miserable when the writers are straight men.”

Lexa frowned, “But we won’t let them.” she argued, “Lu, I guarantee you that _-if it is what they want to do-_ I’ll make them change their mind.”

Luna gave a small smile, “That’s kind of you but I don’t think you could change any of it.”

Lexa opened her mouth then closed it. Clarke's words ringing in her head. _I would rather you don’t make any promises you can’t keep._

“I’ll try.”

“That’s already more than enough.” Luna smiled, “How are things going with Clarke?”

Lexa was surprised by the question for a moment, “F-fine.” she stuttered out, “It’s...uh, it’s great.” she grinned.

Luna laughed, “Great, huh?”

Lexa nodded, “Yeah.” she confirmed, a dreamy look on her features, “She's really great.”

“I see that.” Luna smiled, “I’m happy for you, Lex. You deserve to be happy, even if I would have wanted it to be with me.”

“Thank you, Luna. You deserve to be happy too.” she hugged her co-star, “Do you want to grab dinner before I go back home?”

“Sure.” Luna smiled, “Lead the way.”

 

 

\--------------

 

 

**Incoming call from: _Lexa_**

****

Clarke rubbed at her eyes and winced at the brightness of her screen before sliding her thumb across the screen to answer the call, “Hey.” she hoarsed out.

_“Were you sleeping? I should have thought about it before calling, I’m sorry.”_

Clarke chuckled, “Don't worry about it.” she told her girlfriend, “I’m happy you called.”

_“I just...I thought a lot about what you said. You know, with the ‘not making promises you can’t keep’ thing.”_

Clarke pushed herself up on one elbow, “Yeah?” she rubbed at her eyes.

_“I don’t know what will happen. I can’t promise you that I will be available to you whenever you need it. I wish I could be but truth is, I probably won’t. And it’s killing me to drag you along like that.”_

“Lexa, I told you that I don’t min-”

_“I know...I know but I can’t help feeling like maybe you do mind but you just don’t want to tell me.”_

“Lexa...I can’t keep you from doing your job. That wouldn't be healthy for either of us. You know that.” Clarke moved on the bed so that she was sitting cross-legged, her back resting against the headboard.

_“And...about Atom?”_

Clarke swallowed heavily, “What about him?” she feigned ignorance.

 _“It bothers you.”_ It was a statement more than a question, _“This whole thing. I can put a stop to it. Just say the word and-”_

“No, Lexa.” Clarke sighed, “It’s sweet of you to suggest it but I can’t ask you to do that.”

_“Why not?”_

“Because this is your way of shutting down the rumors.” Clarke reminded, “I don’t want to take that away from you.”

_“I can find another way to shut down the rumors.”_

“How?”

 _“I don’t know yet.”_ she heard Lexa sigh, _“I don’t want to put you in an undesirable position just to keep my sexuality under wraps.”_

Clarke smiled softly, “You know what? Tomorrow you’ll go on that date with Atom and-”

_“But-”_

“Let me finish, Lexa.” Clarke cut her off in a gentle voice, “And you’ll pretend to be head over heels for him in order to shut down those rumors. Then you’ll come back home and you’ll call me and we’ll talk then about whether or not you should go through with this.” 

_“But...this isn’t in any way beneficial to you. Why would you ask me to do this?”_

Clarke sighed, “Because I don’t want to be the one responsible for your pain. Being outed is horrible enough as it is, you don’t need the media world tearing you to shreds on top of it.” 

Lexa was silent for a few seconds, _“Can you at least promise me that if it ever gets too much for you, you’ll tell me?”_

“I promise, Lex.” Clarke told her.

 

 

<<<>>> 

 

 

Lexa’s heart skipped a beat upon hearing her nickname fall from Clarke's lips. A smile grew on her face and she held the phone impossibly closer to her ear, as if it would somehow allow her to hear Clarke better. 

“Thank you for this.” 

_“It’s not much, really. Now can we talk about happier things?”_

Lexa grinned, “Like what?” 

_“Like the filming of your show. When does it start?”_

“On Wednesday.” Lexa smiled brightly, “I can’t wait.” 

 _“Raven will probably try to get spoilers out of you.”_ Clarke warned. 

“And I will keep my lips sealed.” Lexa replied, “No information is getting out of the set. She'll have to wait, just like everybody else.” 

_“I can already hear her whine about how it is pointless for me to date you if she doesn't get anything out of it.”_

Lexa laughed, “Good luck with that.” 

Clarke chuckled, _“Thanks. I’ll need-”_ her words got interrupted when she yawned loudly, _“I’ll need it.”_

“You’re tired.” Lexa stated, “I’ll let you go back to sleep.” 

_“Nooo...I want to talk to you some more.”_

Lexa settled comfortably in her bed, “A few more minutes then.” 

Clarke merely hummed. 

They spoke for a bit longer about their plans for the next few days and Clarke's voice was becoming quieter the longer they spoke. 

“And what happened next?” Lexa asked but received no reply, “Clarke?” she whispered into the phone. 

Her question was met with the even sound of Clarke's breathing. Lexa smiled, “Goodnight, Clarke.” she whispered before hanging up the phone.

 

 

\---------------

 

 

Lexa sighed and looked down at her watch. Ten more minutes before Atom was supposed to pick her up. She had put minimal effort into her outfit. She looked nice enough to be seen outside, but not nice enough to make it seem like she was looking forward to this. 

She quickly finished getting ready and grabbed her bag and jacket when she heard a knock on the door. 

“Here goes nothing.” she mumbled before pulling the door open, “Hey.” she said with as much enthusiasm as she could master but it still fell flat. 

Atom lifted his arm and she reluctantly linked her arm with his, “You’ll love the place I chose.” he grinned as he led the two of them to his car. 

“I have no doubt.” Lexa robotically replied. 

The car ride was silent. Well, it would have been if Atom hadn’t started telling Lexa every single detail about his last few months spent on the set of his new movie which, quite frankly, was most likely going to be a total flop. The actress hummed distractedly, eyes focused on the passing scenery and thoughts filled with bright blue eyes and blond hair.

“Lexa?” Atom pulled her out of her thoughts, “We have arrived.” 

“Oh, okay.” she climbed out and started walking towards the restaurant, dodging Atom’s attempts at linking their hands.

 

 

\-------------

 

 

Thirty minutes into the “date”, she noted the cameras outside and sighed. She put a pretend smile on her face and looked at Atom for a few seconds before going back on her phone. 

 _What the fuck am I doing here?_ she asked herself, “What am I doing here?” she repeated out loud. 

“What?” Atom raised his head. 

Lexa dropped her napkin on the table and pulled out a couple bills, placing them next to her plate, “I shouldn't be here.” she stated, “Sorry.” 

Atom watched helplessly as Lexa walked out of the restaurant. He slumped against his seat and winced at the flashes of paparazzi. 

Lexa reached the parking lot. She strode away from the few paparazzi who had ran towards her as soon as she had put a foot outside. She then called a taxi. Once back home, she pulled out her phone. 

_“Hello?”_

“I’m sorry.” 

 _“What? Lexa, what are you talking about?”_ Clarke's confused voice came through the phone. 

“I’m sorry I didn’t realize sooner how this could affect you.” she clarified, “I’m sorry I still went through with that date even though I’m in a relationship with you.” 

_“Lex, I understand. You needed that to cover up your sexual-”_

“But it’s not fair to you.” Lexa cut her off, “It’s not fair for me to keep you as my _‘dirty little secret’_ while going out with Atom.” 

_“You don’t see me as your dirty little secret, do you?”_

“Of course not.” Lexa hurried to say, “But that’s how others will see it.” she explained, “I know your past relationship hasn’t been easy and I don’t want to end up hurting you like he did.” 

_“I know you wouldn't hurt me on purpose.”_

“But you can't deny that this has been an uncomfortable situation for you.” 

She was met with silence. 

“I don’t want you to pretend that you’re okay with this if you're not.”

_“I don’t want to impose anything on you. I can’t be the reason you come out.”_

“Why not?” 

 _“Because it would be selfish.”_ Clarke said, _“It would be selfish to ask you to come out for me when I know very well how hard it would be for you.”_

“It’s okay to be selfish sometimes.” Lexa tentatively said. 

_“Shouldn't you be on that date with Atom now?”_

“I left.” Lexa revealed, “This...this isn’t what I want.” 

_“What do you want?”_

Lexa stayed quiet for a few seconds before speaking her next words quietly into the phone, “You. I just want you.” 

She heard nothing from the other end and grew nervous. 

“Clarke?” 

 _“You…”_ Clarke started in a voice thick with emotion, _“I don’t want to force you to come out. Ever. I wouldn’t forgive myself if you ended up regretting it.”_

“I don’t think I would regret it.” 

 _“But you’re not sure you won’t. I can’t let you take that risk.”_ Clarke reasoned. 

“But I’m hurting you!” Lexa insisted. 

_“It’s...it’s complicated, Lexa. Please, don’t come out if it's only to make me happy.”_

“I’m doing this for me too.” Lexa argued. 

_“Lex…”_

“Clarke, I can’t keep lying to myself and to everyone else.” Lexa continued, “I have something to do.” she quickly added before hanging up.

 

 

<<<>>> 

 

 

Clarke sighed and put the phone back on her nightstand. She dropped on the bed and stared up at her ceiling for a good five minutes. 

The chiming of her computer is what pulled her out of her thoughts and she reached for it, placing it on the bed, in front of her.

 

_@LexaWoods has started a livestream._

Clarke slowly clicked on it and Lexa's face popped up on the screen. The brunette looked nervous, tugging mindlessly at the sleeves of the sweater she wore which Clarke realized was her own after close inspection. 

 _“I’m waiting for a few more people to log on.”_ the actress explained, _“You must be confused as to why I’m doing this but it’ll all make sense when I start speaking.”_

Clarke swallowed down heavily. She grabbed her phone and switched onto her most recent text conversation. 

**Clarke - 11.34pm:** _what are you doing?_

Clarke watched as Lexa grabbed her phone, unlocked it, and smiled down at the screen. 

 _“I’m doing what I should have done from the very beginning.”_ the actress said, looking straight at the screen. 

“Don't do this, you stupid asshole.” Clarke whispered to herself, typing down on her keyboard. 

**Clarke - 11.35pm:** _Lexa. You don’t have to do this if you don’t want to_

She watched as Lexa looked down at her phone and smiled before glancing up once again, _“I’ve been afraid for way too long. I don’t want to pretend anymore.”_

Clarke saw her take a deep breath and closing her eyes. 

 _“I guess I should start speaking. You’re probably all waiting for that.”_ she let out a nervous chuckle. 

Clarke's brow was creased and she subconsciously leaned closer to the screen. 

 _“About six months ago, I met someone.”_ Lexa started, _“I didn’t even think much of it at first but then things moved quickly and that person became really important to me.”_

Clarke's heart was hammering in her chest. Her eyes were glued to her computer screen. 

 _“That person made me feel...free.”_ Lexa completed with a smile, _“I love my job but it tends to become too much and that person helped me think of other things. Without even realizing it sometimes.”_

Clarke noted how Lexa's eyes were growing watery and how her voice lost of its steadiness, tainted with nervousness. 

 _“I’ll keep her name out of this but....”_ Lexa finally said, _“she is the most amazing woman I have ever met.”_

Clarke’s lips stretched into a smile and she put her fingers against the computer screen, “Lex…” 

 _“The rumors, they’re…it’s true.”_ Lexa wasn’t looking at the screen anymore, probably afraid to see the comments, _“I’m...gay.”_

The silence stretched itself. Lexa was still looking down at her hands and Clarke's eyes were shining with pride and unshed tears. 

 _“It feels so scary to say it out loud.”_ Lexa breathed out, _“I’m so, so scared of what is going to happen next but keeping it a secret was becoming unbearable.”_

Clarke fumbled with her phone and pressed the call button, “You idiot.” she said to herself, lips spread into a smile. 

On the screen, Lexa grabbed her phone and slid her finger against the screen, _“Hey.”_ the actress's voice was thick with emotion and Clarke could see her eyes filled with tears. 

“You did it.” Clarke simply said, “You really did it.” 

 _“I...I did it.”_ Lexa confirmed with a small smile. Her face then drastically changed and panic won over. Lexa fumbled with her computer and ended the livestream. 

“Lexa?” Clarke called out, concern lacing her voice, “Lexa, what’s wrong?” 

_“I can’t…”_

“Lexa, breathe.” 

_“What if everyone hates me now?”_

“Everyone does not hate you.” Clarke said with conviction, “Yes, people will talk about it but...they won't hate you for it.” 

Lexa remained silent. 

“Do you regret doing it?” 

 _“...No.”_ Lexa answered after a beat of silence, _“I could never.”_

<<<>>> 

 

 

Lexa was curled up on herself, in her bed, holding the phone close to her ear and hugging her pillow against her chest, “I’m just scared.” 

 _“And it’s normal to be.”_ Clarke answered, _“But things will be alright.”_

Logically, she knew Clarke couldn’t predict what would happen next but Lexa let herself be comforted by her girlfriend's words. 

_“Lexa, do you want Anya to come by? So that you can talk about it with someone?”_

Lexa hesitated, “I want to talk with you.” 

 _“Okay.”_ Clarke gently said, _“How do you feel?”_

“Scared.” Lexa answered without missing a beat, “I can’t even look at my phone right now.” 

 _“And you don’t have to.”_ Clarke reassured, _“If you need to step off social media for a while, people will understand.”_

“Not everyone will.” Lexa argued, “Some people are heartless in this area of work.” 

 _“I know but you’re strong. You can deal with whatever's coming at you.”_ Clarke's voice was earnest, _“I’m so proud of you for being brave enough to do this. I know how hard it is for you.”_

Lexa looked down, “It was hurting you.” she all but whispered. 

 _“What?”_ Clarke asked, not having heard. 

“Me keeping my sexuality a secret. It was hurting you.” Lexa explained, “I don’t want to ever hurt you.” 

_“Lex, I told you I didn’t want you to-”_

“I know.” Lexa interrupted, “I also did it for myself but...seeing the pain in your eyes everytime Atom came up in the conversation...that was the boost I needed.” 

_“Lex…”_

“I’m sorry.” Lexa apologized, “I’m not sorry for doing it for you. I’m sorry for not doing this sooner. For being selfish and keeping our relationship a secret.” 

 _“You have nothing to apologize for.”_ Clarke quickly replied, _“We haven’t been together long. I couldn’t ask of you to face your fears just to make the situation more comfortable for me.”_

“I just don’t want to hurt you.” Lexa said in a quiet voice, “I promised myself I wouldn’t hurt you. I even promised Raven. I can’t handle knowing that you’re sad because of me, no matter what the reason is.” 

There was a moment of silence and Lexa could have sworn she heard a shaky intake of breath. 

_“If you need anything, at any moment, just ask me, alright? It’s not going to be easy for you to move out of your comfort zone but eventually, everything will be alright.”_

“I wish you were here.” Lexa lamented, “I just want you close right now.” 

 _“I wish I was there too.”_ Clarke sighed, _“I feel so useless here. I just wish I could help you somehow. I’m powerless when I’m so far away.”_

“You're not useless.” Lexa countered, “Speaking with you right now is already helping.” 

 _“But there’s so much more I could do if I was with you.”_ Clarke sighed. 

“You’re doing more than enough.” Lexa said, “I think I’ll call Anya and ask her to stop by.” 

 _“Good idea. I wonder where you got it from.”_ Clarke said and it lightened the mood, pulling a chuckle out of Lexa. 

“I wonder too.” Lexa said, “I can’t remember.”

_“Are you sure you’ll be okay?”_

“I have to be.” Lexa said, “Can I call you again tomorrow if I need anything?” 

_“You can call me whenever you want. I’m here for you.”_

Lexa smiled, “Thank you, Clarke.” 

_“Nothing to thank me for.”_

“I would kiss you if you were here.” 

 _“Now I want to be there even more.”_ Clarke said with a small laugh, _“I miss your tiny ears.”_

“They’re not that small.” 

_“They are, babe.”_

Lexa smiled at the pet name, “I'll let you sleep now. You must be tired.” 

_“I can keep speaking with you. I’m not really tired.”_

“I know that's a lie.” 

_“Shut it. I was trying to be nice. If you insist, I can just hang up and never call again.”_

Lexa let out a watery laugh, “I don’t think I would enjoy that very much. Though, you should really go to sleep.” 

_“You’ll be okay?”_

“I will be.” Lexa said, “Anya will be here soon.” 

_“Okay. Call me if you need anything, alright?”_

“I think you know I wouldn’t disturb your sleep even if I needed something.” 

_“That’s because you're way too considerate for your own good. You should put yourself first sometimes.”_

“Maybe I should.” Lexa pensively said, “Have a goodnight, Clarke.” 

_“You too, Lex.”_

With that, the call ended. Ten minutes later, a knock was heard and Lexa opened the door to let Anya in. Her sister wordlessly closed the door behind her, then wrapped Lexa into a tight hug, “You’re so, so brave, sis.” Anya said before releasing her, “I’m proud of you.” 

Lexa shrugged, “I don't feel brave.” she mumbled, “I just feel...I just want Clarke to know that I’m serious about her.” 

“Is that why you came out?” 

“Mostly.” Lexa admitted, “I would have had to do it at some point. I guess that was the reason it happened now rather than much later.” 

They settled on the couch and Anya pulled Lexa's feet onto her lap, fingers tracing circles on the actress’ calves. 

“You did the right thing.” she broke through the silence, “Don’t start second-guessing it now.” 

“I’m not-” 

“You are. You have a tell. You bite your lip whenever you’re thinking really hard about something.” 

Instantly, Lexa released her bottom lip in which she had sunk her teeth mere seconds ago. 

“I’m just so in the dark right now. I hate not being in control of things and this is exactly what's happening right now.” 

Anya patted her thigh, “Whatever happens, you’ll always have people around you to support you. Most of your fans will be accepting and you know that. Some might even be thrilled to know that their favorite actress is just like them.” 

Lexa smiled, thinking of those young teens struggling with their sexuality who might find solace in the fact that they aren’t alone in this. 

“Thank you, Anya.” 

“Anytime.” her sister ruffled her hair and smiled at the groan it pulled from Lexa, “I have to head back home but I’ll see you tomorrow, and if not, definitely on Wednesday for the filming. Don’t be late.” 

“Have I ever been late?” 

“Many times.” 

Lexa laughed, “I'll be on time.” 

As soon as Anya left, Lexa stepped into the shower. After showering and changing into her sleepwear, she slipped under her covers. 

**Clarke - 10.11pm:** _You are extraordinary._

Lexa’s vision blurred with tears. She blinked a few times before typing a reply. 

**Lexa - 10.32pm:** _No, you are._

**Clarke - 10.33pm:** _If I could, I’d take the first plane to Los Angeles._

Lexa's lips stretched into a blinding smile. 

**Lexa - 10.33pm:** _I know you can’t do that but I appreciate it._

**Clarke - 10.34pm:** _I should go to sleep. It's getting really late here. Call me if you need anything. Even if I might be sleeping, okay?_

Lexa replied with an _okay_ of her own, even though she knew very well that she wouldn’t disturb Clarke if there was even the slightest chance that the blonde was sleeping.

 

 

\------------

 

 

She stared at her phone. Its screen unsurprisingly starting lighting up with new notifications every two seconds, messages that she didn’t dare to look at. Instead, Lexa activated the _do not disturb_ mode on the device and buried herself in her covers. A sentiment of deep anxiety settled inside her chest. What she had done was only now truly dawning on her and she couldn’t stop this growing fear of the inevitable repercussions. Paradoxically, she felt relieved as well. Relieved of the weight that were all those lies and all that pretending, two things that she could really do without. 

Her thumb hovered over the call button. She looked at the time. 

_10.42am._

That meant it was almost two in the afternoon in New York. Without giving herself time to back down, she went ahead and pressed her thumb against the screen. 

Her call went straight to voicemail. Her shoulders sagged and she placed her phone on the nightstand. 

She discarded her clothes and stepped into the shower, the tension leaving her shoulders as warm streams of water fell onto her slim yet strong body. 

Her thoughts wandered and, as water fell down onto her head, she let herself think of what the future might have in store for her now. What it would feel like to finally be able to be completely herself around her fans and friends. 

One big advantage was the erasure of the need to hide her relationship with Clarke. They no longer had to hold off physical contact and affectionate touches when in public. 

Maybe that was the reason Lexa hadn’t spiraled out of control yet and wasn’t currently freaking out. 

She grabbed a towel and started drying her hair. She then checked her phone. Still no new messages, save from those sent by her producer, messages she deliberately ignored. Once more, she clicked on her girlfriend's contact but the result was the same. No answer. 

Sliding her phone into her jeans pocket, she buttoned up her blouse, with the exception of the last two buttons, and gathered everything she needed for the day. 

The filming of her show started tomorrow. With everything going on lately, she had barely had enough time to learn all her lines. Today they were expected to be present for the first table read of season 3B. She dreaded stepping out. The unknown, that’s what she was about to step into. To say she was scared would be an understatement. 

She tried to call Clarke once more but still no reply. She resigned herself to the idea that her girlfriend was either busy or sleeping.

 

 

\------------

 

 

She took tentative steps down the long and rather stark hallway. Her pace slowed down the closer she got to her destination, until her feet came to a complete stop in front of the wooden door. She heard faint voices coming from the inside, all of them mixing together in a way that made it impossible to distinguish the words that were spoken. Her hand slowly moved up until her fingers were closed around the door handle. She was about to open the door when a hand on her shoulder startled her. 

She turned around abruptly and her vision was filled with light brown hair as Luna stepped closer and hugged her tightly. 

“It was very brave what you did last night.” 

Lexa hesitated before returning the hug, “I’m scared.” she admitted quietly, so quietly that it almost seemed as though she was speaking the words to herself. 

“You don't have to be.” Luna assured her, “And you know that whatever happens, you can always count on me, alright?” 

Lexa nodded, “Thank you.” 

“Wanna go in?” Luna nodded towards the door. 

Lexa smiled, “I don’t really have a choice here, do I?” 

Luna mirrored her smile, “It’ll be okay.” she rubbed a hand up and down Lexa's upper arm. 

When they walked in, the conversation stopped abruptly. Heads snapped to the side and everyone was now looking at Lexa. The actress bounced on her heels, hands clasped together in front of her. No one spoke a word for a good, very awkward, ten seconds. 

“Lexa, please have a seat.” the producer gestured to his left, “We were about to start.” 

Without a single word, she sat down, feeling small under her colleagues’ inquisitive stares. In a way, that silence was even worse than any words would have been. That silence was heavy and indecipherable. That silence crushed her pounding heart, constricting it within the confines of her chest. 

“Lexa, can we have a word after this?” the director asked before they began. 

All things considered, perhaps the previous silence was better than this. 

Lexa sat straighter in her chair and she pulled out the script from her bag, looking anywhere but at her colleagues. She felt a hand slip into her own and offered a thankful smile to Luna.

 

 

\-----------

 

 

“Lexa.” 

Her body froze and she stopped in her tracks. Her attempt at walking out of the room as quickly as possible sadly didn’t prove itself to be successful. She turned on her heels and, head hung low, she faced her superior, “Yes, sir?” 

The man waited until the room was empty before speaking his next words, “I hope you realize how your revelations put all of us in a delicate situation.” 

“I...I know, sir, but-” 

“Atom’s manager called me, yelling something about us not respecting our part of the deal. Multiple news agencies harassed us for more information, without mentioning the uproar it has caused on social media. What were you thinking?” 

Tears stung at the corner of her eyes, “I don’t-” she took a shaky breath, “I didn’t think-” 

“Lexa, you need to understand that you cannot possibly do something like this without consulting us first.” 

“I’m sorry.” Lexa said, “I’m sorry that it was such a rash decision but I don't regret it. Not one bit.” 

The director sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, “It doesn’t matter whether you regret it or not. You just gave yet another reason for the media to spit on you and on the show.” 

Lexa’s throat bopped as she swallowed heavily, trying to get rid of the knot in her throat. When she spoke, her voice came out shaky and tight, “I won’t apologize for wanting to be honest.” 

“Did you do this in an attempt to promote the relationship between your character and Luna’s? Because you need to ask us before-” 

“What?” Lexa frowned, “This has nothing to do with that. I came out for me, because I needed to do it and I had kept it in for too long, not for some stupid promotional stunt.” her voice grew angrier at her superior’s implication. 

“Do not put words into my mouth.” 

“You just said it. I’m not inventing anything.” Lexa argued, “I understand if you're angry about me not warning you but don’t imply it wasn’t genuine from my part because it was already hard enough for me to do it and I really do not need for people to start questioning that.” her voice was thick with emotion. 

“I know how hard this can be but-” 

“No.” Lexa interrupted, “You don’t know what it feels like.” 

“I suggest you speak to me with a bit more respect.” 

Lexa felt anger rise in her chest and she breathed slowly to ease it a little, “I will when you show respect for what it meant for me to come out publicly.” 

“If this is your way of humiliating Atom by trying to make it seem like he was so bad that it turned you into a lesbi-” 

“Do not even think about finishing that sentence.” 

The producer clicked his tongue, “I’m just trying to understand here.” 

“It sounds more like you’re judging me and trying to invalidate my sexuality when it took me so long to gather the courage to come out. I couldn't care less about Atom and the effect this will have on him.” 

“I think this conversation is over. I'll see you on set tomorrow. Do not let this interfere with your performance of tomorrow.” 

“Sure.” Lexa bitterly answered. She stormed off, nearly slamming the door behind her but refrained from doing it because she knew it would do no good. 

She climbed into her car and drove back to her house. She slammed her front door and threw her keys on the kitchen counter before rushing through her bedroom door and dropping on her bed. 

“Asshole.” she muttered angrily, traitorous tears rolling down her cheeks. 

Mindlessly, she opened the twitter app and tapped on her notifications. She really wished she hadn’t done that. 

 **TWDfanx** _@Negan2708: @LexaWoods is a dyke?! Damn, what a fucking waste. Gross._

Her eyes zeroed in on that one tweet and somehow, her brain just couldn't see all the others which were mostly messages of support and love. She closed the app and placed her phone in the drawer of her nightstand. Her breathing turned into shaky intakes of breath and she reached for Clarke's sweater at the foot of the bed before lying down once more, holding the item of clothing close to herself. 

Her lips parted and small, nearly silent cries escaped. She breathed in Clarke's perfume which still stuck to the girl's sweater. It soothed her, even if only a little. 

She didn't know when and after how long but she gave into her exhaustion and fell asleep. When she woke up, it was because of the sound of knocking on her door. She groaned and buried herself deeper into the sense of safety her covers brought. She closed her eyes and tried to ignore the sting of her tears under her closed eyelids. 

The knocking started again and she sighed, “Go away!” she yelled, voice thick. 

The sound only intensified. The person on the other side was now all but pounding on the door. 

Lexa begrudgingly pushed the covers off herself. She wiped at her cheeks, to no avail because the now dry tears had already left mascara stains under her eyes. She didn't bother wiping those stains off. She was already a mess and it wouldn’t really serve to cover that up. Eyes red from crying and brow creased, she pulled the door open.

Her facial expression changed radically when she saw who was standing behind it. 

“Clarke?” 

The blonde's smile dropped from her face when she took in Lexa's appearance, “Oh, babe...what’s wrong?” she stepped closer and instantly wrapped the brunette in a hug. 

Lexa's fists closed around Clarke's shirt and she held onto her girlfriend tightly, “Clarke..” her voice was small and scared. 

“Shh, I’ve got you, babe.” Clarke passed a hand through Lexa's hair.

Lexa's head dropped and she buried her face in the safe haven that was Clarke's neck, “How come you’re here?” she asked quietly. 

Clarke's right hand traveled down Lexa's neck and along her shoulder until it reached the brunette's back. She trailed her fingers up and down the woman's spine. 

“I took the first plane to Los Angeles this morning. There was a stop-over midway so it took a bit longer.” 

“You're really here.” Lexa murmured, as if trying to convince herself, “But you said you couldn’t come and-” 

“I know but I thought maybe you needed a bit of support and I could hardly do that from New York.” Clarke kissed the side of her head, “How are you holding up?” she gently asked, her left hand tangled in brown curls. 

Lexa tried to say something but the words got stuck in her throat. She simply shook her head instead. 

Clarke slightly moved away. Her hands cupped Lexa's cheeks and she pressed her lips against the actress's forehead. 

She urged the two of them inside and closed the door behind her. After settling down on the couch, she patted her lap in a wordless offer for Lexa to sit there. 

“What happened?” Clarke tucked a stray strand of hair behind Lexa's ear with utmost gentleness. 

Lexa sighed, “My producer lectured me.” she recounted, “Apparently, it was selfish and inconsiderate of me to come out without warning him first.” 

“Those are the words he used?” 

“Not exactly but it was as if he did.” Lexa started fumbling with the collar of Clarke's sweater, “And apparently my coming out was either a way to promote the show or a way to humiliate Atom.” she scoffed. 

“There's something you're not telling me.” Clarke said, noting Lexa's fleeing eyes, “I know you. This would upset you but it wouldn't hurt you to the point of…” she gestured at Lexa's cheeks and at the mascara stains. 

Lexa grabbed Clarke's hand and played with the blonde's fingers to keep herself busy with something, “I went on Twitter and maybe I shouldn’t have.” 

“What do you mean?” 

“They hate me now.” 

“Your fans?” 

A nod. 

“They don't hate you.” 

“They do.” 

“Then it means they weren’t your fans in the first place.” Clarke traced the outline of Lexa's jaw, attempting to calm down the girl, “Show me what you saw.” 

“I won’t find it again.”

“Then tell me.” 

“Just…” Lexa shook her head, “It doesn’t matter.” 

“Lex…” 

“I just don’t want to think about it.” 

Clarke nodded, “Then what would you like to do?” she asked, caressing Lexa's cheek with her thumb. 

Lexa let her head drop on the top of Clarke's chest, “Can we just watch a movie or something?” 

“Sure.” Clarke kissed Lexa's lips briefly before gently pushing the woman off of herself, “What kind?” she asked, searching through the actress's collection of dvds. 

“Doesn’t matter.” 

Clarke settled on a classic and picked _Back to the Future,_ “Is this okay?” 

Lexa shrugged, “I’ve seen it a couple times already. It’s good.” 

Clarke nodded and put it inside the dvd player, “Which remote is this linked to?” she frowned, noting the four remotes next to the screen. 

“The white one.” 

They were thirty minutes into the movie when Lexa spoke again. She slightly lifted her head from where it was resting in Clarke's lap. 

“I thought your boss told you that you couldn’t take a few days off?” 

Clarke's hand, which was drawing patterns in Lexa's hair, stilled and she smiled, “I can be persuasive.” 

Lexa raised an eyebrow. 

“Okay, I didn’t warn him but to be fair, I’m not working the next two days so he won’t find out anytime soon.” 

Lexa frowned in thought, her lips pressed together, “You should have stayed there. I don’t want you to get fired because of me.” 

“I won’t get fired.” 

Lexa stared up at her with a doubtful look. 

“Maybe I will.” Clarke admitted, “But I’m pretty sure I won’t.” 

“ _Pretty sure_ isn’t enough, Clarke.” 

“I know, I just...I wanted to be here for you, okay?” 

Lexa grabbed her hand and pressed a series of kisses on the blonde's fingers, “And I’m so thankful for it but I don't want it to have bad repercussions on you and on your work.” 

Clarke turned off the tv. They were no longer watching it anyway. She squeezed Lexa's hand, “It won't.” 

“Right.” 

Clarke sighed, “Look, if you want me to go back to New York, I can, but-” 

“I didn’t-” Lexa sighed, “I didn’t mean that. I just...I’m not used to this.” 

“To what?” 

“People going to such lengths just for me.” 

Clarke perceived a layer of tears in the actress's eyes but the brunette wiped it away hastily, mumbling an apology. 

“Don't apologize. And get used to it because I mean it when I say that I’m here for you. You have the filming of your show tomorrow, right?” 

Lexa nodded. 

“Would it be possible for me to come with?” 

“Yes.” Lexa nodded, “But I thought you said Raven would kill you if you went without her?” 

“She will but it’ll be worth it.” Clarke smiled at the laugh it pulled from Lexa, “Come on, you need to get ready for tomorrow.” 

“I still don’t know all my lines.” Lexa rubbed a hand over her face. 

“Then we’ll practice together until you do. Nothing to worry about.” 

Lexa lifted herself off Clarke's lap and she stared at the blonde with something akin to admiration in her eyes, “Thank you, Clarke.” 

“It’s nothing.” Clarke brushed it off, “Come on.” she rose from the couch but a hand on her wrist forced her back into a sitting position. 

A hand cupped the side of her face and warm lips pressed against her own in a shy yet meaningful kiss. 

“I’m happy you're here.” 

“I’m happy to be here too.” 

Lexa knocked their foreheads together and allowed a smile to appear on her lips, “You look beautiful, by the way. I should have started by saying this.” 

“Charmer.” Clarke pecked her lips. 

“I can’t believe you came all the way from New York.” Lexa breathed out, amazed. 

“It’s not that big of a deal. You needed someone and I wanted to be here for you. Simple as that. Now eat something because I know for a fact you haven’t eaten since you came back from the table read. Maybe you even skipped breakfast.” 

“I didn’t skip breakfast.” 

Clarke looked at her knowingly, “One spoon of cereal doesn’t count as breakfast.” 

“Then I might have skipped breakfast.” 

Clarke laughed and pointed towards the dining table, “Get your cute ass on that chair and don’t move until I come back with something a bit more consistent to eat.” 

“Yes, mom.” 

Before heading to the kitchen, Clarke left one more kiss on plump lips, “Don’t hesitate to talk to me if you ever feel the need to get something off your chest, alright?” her tone grew serious. 

Lexa nodded, “Thank you.”

The brunette's eyes could only be described as admirative as she watched Clarke walk towards the kitchen. Warmth spread through her chest when she saw her girlfriend move around the kitchen, humming a tune Lexa didn’t recognize. Her lips curled up in a bright smile and for the first time since that morning, she forgot about her current situation and let herself simply enjoy the presence of her girlfriend. 

This feeling that she had tried time and time again to bury deeper inside of her out of fear that it was too early surged up again, this time even more strongly and it was becoming hard to fight it. She wanted to be the one to make Clarke smile and laugh every second of everyday. She wanted to stay up and wake up with her. She wanted to learn about the things Clarke liked and about the ones she disliked. 

She wanted to love her.

 

 


	15. Chapter 15

 

 

“Wait. How did you find my address?” Lexa asked after she finished eating. 

Clarke wiggled her eyebrows and sauntered away, purposely adding a bit of sway to her hips as she walked towards the kitchen to put the plate in the dishwasher. 

“Claaarke.” Lexa whined, “Come on, just tell me.” 

“I got my sources.” 

“It was Anya, wasn't it?”

“Perhaps.” Clarke shrugged, closing the dishwasher. 

“It totally was Anya.” Lexa laughed, striding toward the kitchen and wrapping her arms around Clarke from behind. 

“A magician never reveals their tricks.” 

“You’re not a magician, Clarke.” 

“I could be.” 

Lexa raised an eyebrow and Clarke turned into the embrace. 

“I’m not lying. I’ll have you know I’m quite good at it.” 

“Prove it then.” 

Clarke raised an eyebrow in challenge, “Don’t think I haven’t noticed how little faith you have in me. Prepare yourself to be blown away by my undeniable talent.” 

Lexa smiled, “Can’t wait.” 

“Do you have a deck of cards?” 

Lexa held up a finger and reached into one of the cupboards in the living room, “A-ah!” she fished out the deck and handed it to Clarke, “Now impress me, Houdini.” 

Clarke grinned. They sat down on the floor and she shuffled the cards, “Pick one.” she presented the cards to Lexa, “Don’t show it to me and put it back on top of the deck when you’re done.” 

Lexa did as told, shaking her head. **The three of clubs,** she mentally repeated in her head, “Okay, I put it back. What now?” 

Clarke shuffled the deck once more, “See, I don’t have long sleeves, this is your deck, and the cards are shuffled, right? No way for me to cheat.” 

“Right.” Lexa said, playing along though she didn't have much faith in the success of it. 

Clarke wiggled her eyebrows and pulled out a random card, “Boom! This is your card.” she said with fake confidence. 

Lexa tried to hold in her laughter, “It’s not.” 

Clarke nodded, “Okay, cool. I thought you'd say that.” she picked up the deck of cards and slipped the card back inside it, “This is embarrassing but it’s okay. I’m not done yet.” 

Lexa's lips curved upwards. 

“I know that your card…” she stretched the silence to add some suspense to it, “is somewhere in this deck.” 

“Did you guess that all by yourself?” Lexa chuckled. 

Clarke relished in the sound of Lexa's laughter for a few seconds before getting back in character. 

“Would you mind doing me a favor?” 

“You still think you can get this trick to work?” Lexa asked, amused. 

Clarke smirked, “I know I can.” 

Lexa huffed out a laugh, “You're awfully confident for someone who just failed her first attempt at guessing but alright, what do you need me to do?” 

“Hold the deck of cards by its end between your thumb and your index, just like that, yes.” 

Lexa raised an eyebrow, “Okay, what do I do now?” 

“Nothing. Just hold the deck really tightly between those two fingers.” 

“Okay…”

Clarke raised her hand and brought it down violently to smack against the deck of cards, sending all the cards flying to the floor except one, which was still trapped between Lexa's index and thumb. 

“Look at your card.” Clarke said with a confident smile. 

Lexa's squinted eyes widened comically when her eyes caught sight of the remaining card. **_The three of clubs._**  

“How the fuck did you do that?” she looked back at Clarke in pure shock, grabbing the deck of cards to make sure it hadn’t been messed with in any way. 

Clarke exploded in laughter when she saw the expression of shock that was etched onto Lexa's features. 

“You asshole!” Lexa slapped her arm, “I really thought you had failed miserably.” 

Clarke giggled, “Part of a magician’s job is to entertain the people.” 

Lexa smiled and poked the blonde's stomach, “Tell me how you did it.” 

“Nope.” Clarke grinned. 

“Tell me.” Lexa tackled her to the ground, trapping the blonde's body beneath her own. 

“Never.” Clarke laughed, trying to free herself but Lexa was much stronger than she was, “Damn, you’re heavier than you look.” 

“Are you calling me fat?” 

“I’m saying your muscles weigh more than I thought they would considering how tiny you are.” 

“I’m not tiny.” Lexa protested. 

“You are.” Clarke laughed, “Fragile like a leaf, flying away when there's a little bit of wind.”

Lexa laughed, “My muscles will keep me on the ground. You said it yourself. I'm heavier than I look.” 

“Ha! You didn’t deny that you were tiny.” Clarke grinned. 

“I see how you're trying to change the topic. You have yet to tell me how you managed that card trick.” 

“I’ll tell you on one condition.” 

“Which one?” 

“You have to kiss me first.” Clarke smirked and puckered up her lips. 

Lexa rolled her eyes and leaned down to lock their lips in a quick kiss, “Now tell me.” 

Clarke grinned, “No.” 

Lexa's expression turned to one of betrayal, “But you said you would.” she pointed out. 

“I lied. I just wanted you to kiss me.” 

“Well, this won’t be happening again until you tell me how you did it.” Lexa pushed herself off Clarke and sat down on the couch, arms crossed in front of her chest, an eyebrow raised expectantly. 

“Really?” Clarke laughed. 

“Really.” 

“You’re a child.” 

“And you’re selfish.” 

“Just because I won't tell you how I did it?” 

“Yes.” 

Clarke grinned and pushed herself off the floor. She slowly made her way towards her girlfriend and settled into the brunette's lap, “Look at me.” 

“No.” Lexa made it a point to avoid Clarke's eyes, “You don’t deserve my attention right now.” 

Clarke burst out laughing, “Okay, little baby. And do I have the permission to speak to you?” 

“You can speak to me. Not sure you can speak _with_ me, though.” 

“It’s fine. I’m used to talking to myself.” 

“That's quite sad.” 

“I thought you wouldn’t speak with me?” Clarke teased, poking the brunette's cheek. 

“Stop it.” Lexa tried to fight off a smile. 

Clarke ignored her and gently pinched her cheeks, “You got chubby cheeks. That’s so cute.” she cooed. 

“You’re having fun?” 

“So much fun.” Clarke grinned. 

“You’re exhausting.” 

“Thank you.” Clarke smiled, “Can I kiss you now?” 

Lexa pretended to think it over, then shook her head, “No. Cause you still haven’t told me.” 

“And I never will.” Clarke affirmed, “So you can either let me kiss you now or give up on it forever.” 

Lexa glared at her momentarily before wrapping her arms around the blonde, “You’re annoying.” she mumbled into Clarke's neck. 

“Yes but you like me.” 

**_I love you,_** Lexa wanted to say but she caught herself on time, “Debatable.” she said instead. She smiled when Clarke's laughter reached her ears and she pressed soft kisses along the skin of the woman's neck, “You smell really good.” 

“Really? Cause I’ve spent the whole day in airports and on planes and I feel really gross.” 

“You smell heavenly.” Lexa added, smiling against Clarke's neck. 

“Can I use your shower though?” 

Lexa nodded, “Sure.” 

Clarke trailed a finger down the neckline of Lexa's shirt, “And you could join me?” she suggested lowly. 

Lexa smiled, “Maybe some other time, yeah?” 

She wanted nothing more than to jump into that shower with Clarke but a voice in her head reminded her that now wasn’t the right time for that. That she needed to sort herself out first before making such important decisions. 

To others, it might seem odd to make such a fuss about it but Lexa considered intimacy as something really precious that shouldn’t be taken lightly and she really, really wanted her first time with Clarke to be as special as possible. Call her foolish and old-fashioned for it, she didn’t really care. 

Clarke nodded, “Okay. You can always come in if you change your mind.” she pecked the brunette's lips before climbing off her lap and walking towards the stairs, grabbing her suitcase on her way there. 

Lexa breathed out a sigh when Clarke disappeared upstairs. Her mind had yet to catch up with the fact that her girlfriend had traveled all the way here just to show her support. 

She didn’t think she had ever felt so strongly about someone in such a short amount of time. Clarke was undeniably the most beautiful and caring woman Lexa had ever met. 

The speed at which her feelings for the woman developed scared Lexa to no end. Even with Costia, it had taken months and months of knowing each other before she even admitted to herself that she _liked_ the tv host. 

With Clarke, it had taken approximately three weeks. 

One week into their relationship and already the word _love_ was popping inside Lexa's mind each time she so much as looked into those enticing blue eyes. 

She forced herself to keep those three little words inside and told herself that it was too early to spill them, that Clarke wouldn’t be receptive to them, that the woman couldn’t possibly feel the same way at this point in the relationship. 

It was almost painful to restrain herself from shouting it over the rooftops, to tell to whoever was willing to listen exactly how in love with her girlfriend she was. 

She faintly registered the sound of the shower and lay down on the couch, pulling a blanket over her body. 

“What are you doing to me?” she whispered into the newfound silence.

 

 

\------------

 

 

Lexa didn’t join her. She couldn’t deny that she was disappointed but she also understood. Lexa had shared with her, her wish to do things the right way, and that included waiting for the perfect moment before being intimate. 

Clarke wrapped a towel around her body and realized she had no idea where Lexa kept the blow dryer. She walked downstairs, hand clasped around the towel to keep it in place. 

“Hey, where do you keep your blow-dryer?” 

Poor Lexa looked two seconds away from having stroke when her eyes settled on the blonde's half uncovered body, legs and shoulders shining with droplets of water. 

Lexa's throat bopped, “I-In the top drawer, second cupboard from the left.” 

“Thanks, babe.” Clarke smiled and ran back upstairs, mentally patting herself on the back for the reaction she got from her girlfriend.

 

 

\------------

 

 

“This is nice.” Clarke mumbled, snuggling closer to her girlfriend on the couch, “I missed holding you.” 

Lexa smiled, “I can’t thank you enough for coming all the way here.” 

“You needed someone here with you.” Clarke caressed the side of Lexa's face. 

“There's Anya.” 

“Yes but I wanted to be here too.” Clarke kissed the underside of her jaw, “Don’t think you're the only one benefiting from it.” 

Lexa laughed, “I should go take a shower too.” 

“See? It would have been better if you had joined me. We would have saved time and water.” 

“Clarke…” 

“I know.” Clarke kissed her lips, “I’m just joking. We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.” 

“I want to. I mean, look at you. I’d be a fool to reject you. It’s just-” 

Clarke cut her off with another kiss, “I get it, baby. No need to explain yourself. It’s actually sweet that you want to wait.” 

“It doesn't upset you?” 

“I mean, I’ll have to take care of it myself every now and then but I’ll survive.” Clarke shrugged. 

Lexa was sure that, had she been drinking, she would have choked on it, “Jesus, Clarke.” mental images of Clarke half naked in her bed, cheeks flushed and hand working between her legs flashed inside the brunette's mind. 

“Aw, you’re blushing.” Clarke pinched her cheeks, “Cute.” 

“I'm not cute.” 

“Sure you’re not.” 

Lexa's phone rang and she frowned when she saw that it was a call from Costia, “Yes?” she picked it up. 

_“Hey, Lexa. I was wondering if you'd be up for an interview sometime next week. I know you’ll be busy with your show but maybe we could squeeze it in, you know? Besides it’ll be a great way to promote it and it would-”_

Lexa started drowning out the woman’s voice, another voice in her mind screaming at her to just decline the offer. 

“I’m sorry but I can’t.” 

_“What? Why?”_

“Because I know why you want me on your show, Cos. And I’m not ready for this. Not yet. There's a reason why I stayed off social media until now.”

_“But it could really help you and-”_

“Please, Costia.” Lexa begged, “Maybe in a month or so but right now...I just can’t. And you know you have to go to my manager first to ask things like that.” 

_“I just thought I had a better chance of getting a positive reply if I asked you directly but it isn't the case.”_

“I really can’t, Cos.” 

_“I understand, don’t worry. At least I tried.”_ the woman paused in her words, _“It was brave what you did. I know you and I haven’t been in the best of terms since...since our breakup but I wanted you to know that.”_

“Thank you, Cos.” 

_“I’ll see you around then?”_

“Yeah, yeah you will. Bye.” 

_“Bye.”_

Lexa sighed when she hung up. 

“Who was that?” 

“Costia Green.”

“The tv host?” 

Lexa nodded in confirmation. 

“I didn't know you knew her that well.” 

Lexa turned to face Clarke, “She's my ex-girlfriend actually.” she revealed and watched as the smile dropped from Clarke's face. 

“Oh...and what did she want?” she tried to appear unfazed but a hint of jealousy seeped into her voice nonetheless. 

“She wanted me on her show next week.” 

“Oh, okay.”

“I said no, as you’ve heard.” 

Clarke nodded. She had especially heard Lexa refer to the woman as _Cos_ multiple times and it made her feel uneasy, the familiarity with which the two women had spoken to one another, “When did you guys break up again?” 

“Over a year ago, why?” 

Clarke shrugged, “Just curious.” she mumbled, looking away. 

“Are you…” a smirk grew on her lips, “Clarke Griffin, are you jealous?” 

“Pfft, no.” Clarke scoffed, “Just curious.” she reiterated, “I mean, do I have a reason to feel jealous?” she tried to ask casually. 

“None at all.” Lexa reassured her, “I only lo- _like_ you.” her eyes widened at her almost slip up. Thankfully, Clarke didn’t seem to have heard it. 

“Okay.” Clarke nodded seriously. 

A phone rang again but this time it was Clarke's. She groaned when she saw who it was from. 

“Hello?” 

_“Clarke? Where are you? The café is packed and we need more hands on deck for tomorrow's shift. I’ve tried calling you three times already.”_

“Hello to you too, Niylah.” Clarke rolled her eyes, “Today and tomorrow are my days off. Can’t you find someone else to cover the shifts?” 

_“I just told you that we are packed with work. Just come over here. You’ll get paid for the supplementary_ hours.” 

“I can’t come into work right now.” 

_“Why?”_

“Cause I'm kind of out of New York for a couple days.” 

_“What? Clarke, you can’t just leave the city and not tell us about it. Do you realize how unprofessional this is?”_

Clarke pinched the bridge of her nose, “As far as I’m concerned, I don’t owe you anything since you’re not my boss.” 

Lexa frowned, seeing how agitated her girlfriend was becoming, “What’s wrong?” she murmured, squeezing the blonde's shoulder. 

Clarke shook her head and motioned that she would explain later, “I can’t help you, sorry.” she told Niylah. 

_“Are you with someone? I heard someone speak.”_

“None of your business.” 

_“You know, I really don’t like the way you're speaking to me right now. I suggest you calm down a little because one word to my father and you're out.”_

“Your threats don’t scare me.” 

_“I don't know what's up with you but ever since you've befriended that famous actress, it’s as if your friends don’t exist anymore.”_

“My-” Clarke wanted to laugh, “You and I are not friends, Niylah. We never have been, never will be. It's not Lexa who’s responsible for that.” 

_“I thought maybe outing that bitch would make you come back to your senses and see that this isn’t what you want but clearly-”_

“Wait. What did you just say?” 

_“Nothing.”_ Niylah backtracked. 

“You’re the one who outed Lexa to the press?” 

Lexa sat up straight on the couch at those words, “What?” her brow furrowed in confusion. 

Clarke put the conversation on speaker so that Lexa could hear too. 

_“Don’t act so surprised. And I did the bitch a favor since it gave her a reason to finally come out.”_

“First of all, if you call her a bitch one more time, I’ll break your front teeth, and second, you had no right to do this.” 

_“It’s Hollywood. Everybody rats everybody out. That's how we make money.”_

“You're unbelievable…” Clarke felt anger grown inside of her, “Grow up, Niylah. And stop being so self-centered.” 

_“Don’t act like a fucking saint, Clarke, alright? You made me hope that we could become something more, then you ditched me for some rich actress who could buy you everything you want.”_

Clarke was getting agitated, “I never made you hope for anything. I stated from the very beginning that nothing more would happen between us and you refused to face the reality. And don’t ever imply that I’ve gotten closer to Lexa just for her money.” 

Lexa wrapped her arms around Clarke from behind and traced circles on her covered stomach, hoping to calm her down a little, “Easy, baby.” she whispered in her ear before kissing her cheek. 

_“Fucking gold digger. You know what, say goodbye to your job. I hope you’ll have fun with your whore.”_

“Don’t you fucking call her that or I’ll-” 

Niylah hung up the call before Clarke even finished her sentence. 

“I’m fired, I guess.” Clarke said, angrily throwing her phone on the cushion, “I can’t believe her.” 

“Maybe your boss will realize that you aren't to blame here?” 

“Doubtful.” 

Lexa kissed the crown of her head, “I think he might understand.” 

“It's my word against his daughter’s. Who do you think he'll trust more?” Clarke sighed, “And how are you not furious right now? We just found out she was the one who outed you to the press!” 

Lexa shrugged, “What's done is done. I can’t really change anything now.” 

“How are you so calm?” Clarke huffed. 

Lexa took Clarke's hand in hers, “I’m not... _calm”_ she started, “I’m just tired of worrying and of being scared and I'm trying to put things into perspective.” 

Clarke's shoulders sagged and tears welled up in her eyes, “I’m sorry. If it wasn’t for my petty arguments with Niylah, she would have never gone after you.” 

Lexa cupped pale cheeks in her hands and brushed the tears away with her thumbs, “That’s just Niylah being a jerk. It’s not your fault.” 

“I'm just such a bad girlfriend.” Clarke lamented. 

Lexa jerked away, “Shut the fuck up.” 

“Excuse me?” 

“Clarke, are you joking right now? Do you even realize how stupid what you just said was?” 

“Gee, thanks…” 

Lexa smiled, “You know what I meant.” she grabbed Clarke's hands and kissed the back of each, “You came here all the way from New York to make sure I was okay and you have been nothing but supportive of every single one of my choices.” 

“Yeah but-” 

Lexa cut her off by pressing her lips against Clarke's. 

“But nothing.” she whispered, joining their foreheads, “I’ve never been with anyone who made me feel so important and cared for.” 

“You _are_ important.” 

“See? You’re doing it again.” Lexa smiled, “You’re the best girlfriend I could have ever asked for.” 

Clarke smiled and pecked Lexa's lips once more, “We should rehearse your lines. I promised I would help you with that.” 

Lexa pulled out the script, “Tomorrow we’ll be shooting this scene, this one, and this one.” she indicated, highlighting the pages’ numbers. 

“Okay.” Clarke grabbed the script to get a look at it, “So you’re playing Alicia.” 

“Exactly. Let me just take a shower first. I'll be right back.” she pecked Clarke's lips.

 

 

\----------

 

 

Lexa doubled over in laughter at Clarke's attempts at acting, “Clarke, you have to say your lines with much more intonation than that.” 

“I’m not an actress!” Clarke defended herself, “I thought I was doing well.” 

Lexa laughed, “You did horrible.” 

“Rude.” 

“Sorry but even a five year old could act it out more convincingly.” 

“Again, rude.” 

Lexa reached for the script, “This is a very emotional scene. There's gotta be emotion in your voice but also panic because time is running out and if you don’t find a way out soon, you’ll be trapped in there, surrounded by zombies.” 

“You know what? Your job is way too hard. I give up.” 

Lexa smiled, “At least you tried.” 

“Besides, you know your lines perfectly.” 

“I still have to study a little more, though. Just to be sure. I don't want to make the team lose precious time.” 

“Why do I feel like you're the kind of actress that never fucks up. Are there even bloopers that feature you?” 

“Very few.” Lexa grinned. 

“That’s what I thought.” Clarke clicked her tongue, “You should let loose sometimes, cut yourself some slack.” 

“I have to work hard.” 

“I know but it’s okay to mess up sometimes. Besides, I’m sure fans would be thrilled to have more content of you messing up your lines.” 

Lexa smiled, “Are you suggesting that I purposely mess up my lines?” 

Clarke grinned, “No.” she tugged at the collar of Lexa's shirt, “I’m just saying that it won’t kill you if you don’t get it perfect on the first try.” she leaned closer until their noses were brushing. 

Lexa closed the space between them by connecting their lips. She sighed through her nose and her hands gripped Clarke's hips, leading the blonde into her lap. 

Clarke draped her arms around Lexa's shoulders as she changed the angle of the kiss. Her hips ground down on Lexa's lap and she smirked at the sound it pulled from the brunette. 

Before long, Lexa's hand slid down Clarke's back and found their home on her backside, encouraging the blonde's movements, “Is this okay?” she asked in between kisses, hands now hovering over Clarke's backside. 

“Yeah.” Clarke said, reaching behind her to place Lexa's hands back where they were. 

Lexa gave it a squeeze and hummed when Clarke started rocking harder against her, “Maybe we should-” her words turned into a moan when Clarke dipped her head and nibbled at the skin of her neck before taking her earlobe between her teeth. 

She closed her lips around Lexa's ear and released it after a few seconds, not without blowing on the now wet area, pulling a groan from the brunette. 

“Forgot what you were gonna say?” she teased, moving her hips for emphasis. 

Lexa's eyes grew dark and she felt heat rise up to her cheeks, “N-no…” she pulled Clarke closer to herself and captured her lips to try and regain the control she had lost. 

Lexa's hands moved across her waist and rested on the blonde's thighs, left mostly uncovered due to the short length of her sleeping shorts. 

Clarke slowed down the kiss and placed both hands on Lexa's shoulders before pulling away completely, trying her best not to dive right back in when she saw Lexa's hooded eyes and parted lips. 

“It’s getting late.” Clarke pointed out, “You should get some sleep before your big day tomorrow.” 

Lexa checked the time on her phone and nodded. She slipped the device in her pocket and rose from the couch, lifting Clarke with her arms. 

The blonde yelped and her arms tightened around Lexa's neck. Lexa started walking towards her bedroom and she chuckled when Clarke started pressing kisses all over her face. 

She guided the two of them to the bedroom and carefully lowered Clarke on the bed. A small sound of surprise escaped her lips when Clarke suddenly grabbed the collar of her shirt and tugged on it to make her fall forward on the bed, well technically, more on Clarke than on the bed. 

“Oomph.” Lexa pushed herself off of Clarke and rolled to the side, “I didn't crush you, did I?” 

“You didn't. And even if you had, I would be to blame.” Clarke pointed out before rolling on her side as well, “Now sleep.” 

“I can't just fall asleep in two seconds, Clarke.” 

“Shhh, no more talking.” the blonde put a finger against her lips. 

Lexa kissed her finger then grabbed it to push it away from her face so she could then kiss Clarke's lips, “Goodnight.” she whispered before turning off the lamp. 

Lexa tapped on Clarke's thigh and the blonde rolled around to face the actress, “What?”

“Come closer.” Lexa opened her arms and Clarke slid inside them with an easy smile, “Much better.” the brunette let out a content sigh.

 

 

\--------------

 

 

“Clarke, will you stop moving like that?” Lexa said, laughing as they neared the entrance of the set. 

“I can’t help it.” Clarke said, bouncing on her heels, “I’ve never visited a real filming set before.” 

“It's not that amazing.” 

“Bitch, you’re only saying this cause you’re used to it. This is all new to me.” Clarke answered, her excitement growing by the second. 

Lexa laughed, “Have you told Raven that you were here?” 

Clarke smiled, “I do not have a death wish so no, I haven't yet.” 

“You plan on doing it sometime?” Lexa raised a knowing eyebrow. 

“Again, I would like to live to see past my twenties.” 

Lexa laughed and looked ahead, “We’re almost there.” she grinned. She was excited at the prospect of showing Clarke what her life on set looked like. 

Lexa quickly moved past security, informing the men that Clarke was with her, then they entered a large area filled with trailers. 

“You got trailers?” 

Lexa smiled, “I got my own a bit further.” she pointed at one of the trailers, a bit to the left, “Didn’t get one until season 2.” 

“Can I go inside it?” Clarke asked, eyes shining with excitement. 

“Of course.” Lexa smiled. 

They took a few more steps until they were interrupted by one of the executive producers. 

“Lexa, there you are.” he said, “I need you down in hair and makeup in twenty minutes.” 

“I’ll be there.” she answered with an easy smile. 

Clarke frowned when the man walked away, “Was that him?” she wondered aloud. 

“Who?” 

“Was that the guy who told you that your coming out was endangering the future of their show?” her voice grew guarded and wary. 

“No. That was Jason. The guy you just met is Marvin. He’s a good one.” she reached for Clarke's hand, “Why? Trying to find him and beat him up?” she joked. 

“Exactly.” Clarke answered, her voice only half-serious. 

They walked for a couple more minutes and were interrupted in that time by three more people; one of the hairdressers, a screenwriter, and a stage director, all of them proceeding to ignore Clarke for the most part, save from a small smile given by the hairdresser. 

“Does it always take that long to walk a fifty foot long distance? Can you ever do it uninterrupted?” Clarke asked. 

“Not that I know of.” Lexa smiled. 

They finally reached the trailer and Lexa waved at Luna when she saw the woman from afar. 

“Lex!” Luna accelerated her pace to reach them, “Good to see you.”

Clarke was already stepping back in order to give them some privacy, ready to be ignored once more. Hence why it came off as a surprise when Luna’s attention shifted to her and she found herself on the receiving end of the other woman's blinding smile. 

“You must be Clarke.” Luna extended her hand, “It’s nice to meet the one who managed to soften up this one.” she winked at Lexa. 

Clarke smiled and accepted the offered hand, “It’s nice to meet you too. Lexa has told me a lot about you.” 

“All good things, I hope?” 

Clarke smirked, “Mostly.” 

Luna gasped and turned towards Lexa who was looking at Clarke with a smile, obviously not paying attention to the conversation. 

“Lexi.” Luna snapped a finger in front of the brunette's eyes, “Stop drooling.” 

Lexa rolled her eyes, “I wasn’t drooling.” she wiped at her mouth for good measure, “And I told you to stop calling me that.” 

“Makes it all the more fun to do it.” Luna countered. 

Clarke felt a bit like an outsider. She wanted to participate in the conversation but didn’t know Luna well enough yet to feel completely comfortable. 

She wished she had some people's natural talent at socializing but she was lacking in that area unfortunately. It was always a bit difficult for her to feel at ease with people she barely knew. 

Thankfully, Lexa seemed to sense her slight discomfort and the actress cut her conversation with Luna short. 

“See you on set.” Luna smiled, “It was great meeting you, Clarke.” 

“Likewise.” Clarke replied politely, then followed Lexa inside the trailer.

Lexa gestured for her to sit on the chair in front of the large mirror. She opened the mini fridge and grabbed a water bottle to hand it to Clarke before taking one for herself. 

“So that was Luna…” Clarke cut through the silence, her tone hesitant. 

Lexa hummed, “She didn't make you uncomfortable, right?” she asked, having noticed how shy Clarke had become from the moment Luna had walked up to them. 

“No, no. Not at all.” Clarke assured her, “It’s just…” 

“What is it?” Lexa asked, taking a seat next to her girlfriend. 

“I don’t know how to act around her…” 

“What do you mean?” 

“You know, cause she has feelings for you and all...and I don’t want to come off as rude by showing off that you’re...with me.” she finally said. 

Lexa reached for her hand and brought it up to her lips to kiss the back of it, “You don't need to worry about that. Luna knows about us and she's completely fine with it.” 

“Really? Cause I can keep my hands to myself for now if it bothers her, you-” 

Lexa leaned forward and kissed her, “You don’t need to adapt your behavior. She told me she was happy for me and trust me, she would say something if it bothered her. She's pretty straightforward.” 

“You’re sure?” 

“One hundred percent.” Lexa smiled, “Don’t worry about that, baby.” 

Clarke's cheeks turned a faint pink when she heard the pet name slip from Lexa's lips, “Okay.” she tucked a strand of her blond hair behind her ear and slowly reached for Lexa's hand, tracing her thumb along lean fingers. 

“I’m so happy you’re here right now.” Lexa breathed out, “I knew it would be scary to come out and I'm so, so relieved you're here to...to guide me through it?” 

Clarke smiled, “Always.” she cupped Lexa's cheeks and pressed her lips against the brunette's. 

“I should leave set a bit earlier to get you back to the airport in time for your flight.” Lexa said pensively as she rose from the chair and dropped on the couch, checking her watch to see that there were still five minutes left before she needed to be in hair and makeup. 

“That won’t be necessary.” Clarke immediately said. 

Lexa's brow furrowed, “Clarke, I’m not letting you leave without a proper goodbye.” 

“That’s not what I meant.” 

Confusion was now etched onto Lexa's face. 

“I wanted to keep this a surprise until tonight but now will do too.” she sat on the couch and grabbed Lexa's hands in hers, “I’m staying for two more weeks.” she announced. 

Lexa's jaw dropped and her eyes widened, “Really? But how-” she shook her head in disbelief, “I thought you had work?” she finally said. 

“This morning, while you were still sleeping, I made some calls and it turns out a friend of mine works at a restaurant that is currently looking for a waitress. If all goes well, the job is mine by tonight.” 

“So you're quitting your old job?” 

Clarke nodded, “As soon as I know that I have the job, I’ll call my boss to inform him of my wish to resign.” 

“That’s what you want, right?” 

Clarke nodded, “It was becoming hard to keep working around Niylah and her constant reminders that she held power over me. It just created a bad working environment. It’s best for everyone that I quit.” 

“That's very mature of you.” Lexa smiled, “That means you’re staying here for two weeks?” 

“Exactly.” Clarke smiled, a wide and blinding smile. 

Lexa threw her arms around her girlfriend, “This is so amazing.” she whispered, “Two whole weeks with you. I can’t believe this is real.” 

“I’m not going away anytime soon. You can’t get rid of me that easily, Woods.” 

“I don’t want to anyway.” Lexa grinned and started peppering kisses all over Clarke's face before finally connecting their lips. 

A knock on the trailer’s door interrupted them and Lexa looked down at her watch to see that she was supposed to be in hair and makeup about a minute ago. 

She hurried out, her hand never letting go of Clarke's, “Yes, I know. I’m late.” she told Marvin as she all but ran past him. 

The man laughed and headed back to set, smiling to himself, happy to see a genuine smile back on Lexa's face.

 

 

\----------

 

 

“Is it okay if I stay?” Clarke asked the makeup artist, “I don’t want to intrude.” 

“Nonsense, sweetie.” the forty-two year old woman replied, “You’re Lexa's friend. Of course you can stay.” 

Lexa and Clarke shared a knowing look when they heard the word _friend_ and the blonde had to refrain from laughing at the way Lexa wiggled her eyebrows at her. 

“Actually...she is my girlfriend.” Lexa corrected shyly. 

The silence probably only lasted two seconds but it was enough to make Lexa grow nervous. However, her nerves calmed a little when she saw, through the mirror, the smiles that were sporting the makeup artists and the hairdresser. 

“I see.” the makeup artist said, “Well, you two make an adorable couple.” 

“Thank you, Stacey.” 

Clarke felt the hairdresser’s eyes on her and she shied away under all the attention. The hairdresser simply gave her a smile before getting back to work on dressing or rather, _undoing_ the brunette's neat bun and making the actress's hair look like she came straight out of a warzone. 

“Getting paid to mess up your hair is definitely my favorite part of the job.” she joked. 

“Very funny, Rosa. Funnily enough, it is my least favorite part of the job.” 

“And I know this is a lie cause you once told me that your least favorite part of your job was to walk the red carpet at events.” Rosa said with a smirk. 

“It is pretty awful.” Lexa said. 

“Big star but you can’t handle a few cameras’ flashes?” 

_“A few?”_ Lexa repeated, “More like a few thousands. It’s overwhelming, woman.” 

Rosa laughed, “If you say so.” 

Clarke caught Lexa's eyes in the mirror and she smiled somewhat shyly. She pulled out her phone to busy herself while the women worked, not wanting to disturb their work in any way. 

“So where are you from?” Rosa suddenly asked. 

It took Clarke a few seconds to realize that the question had been directed to her. She pointed at herself and with a confirmation from Rosa, she answered quietly, “From New York.” 

Rosa’s eyebrows shot up, “New York? That’s not exactly the closest to here.” 

“Yeah…” Clarke sighed, “I know.” 

“If you two can make it work. It’s all that matters, hun.” Rosa added to lift up the mood again. 

Lexa reached out for Clarke's hand and gave it a squeeze before releasing it, “We’ll make it work.” she stated confidently. 

Clarke's heart might have skipped a beat when she heard the sincerity and determination lacing those words. 

“We’ll make it work.” she repeated with the same confidence, lost in emerald green eyes. 

Their moment was interrupted when a hairbrush fell to the ground with a clatter. Lexa angled her face back towards the mirror and rolled her eyes at the smirks on both Rosa and Stacey’s faces.

 

 

\--------------

 

 

“And we have arrived.” Lexa announced, clasping her hands behind her back. 

Around them, people were moving around hurriedly, shouting one instruction or another. A man was rolling a large box across the set while a woman was making phone calls in the far left corner. 

The producers were busy giving instructions to the camera guy and two screenwriters were speaking with Luna and Lincoln about their upcoming scene and the way they visualized it to be. 

Clarke felt a bit lost in the midst of all this. Everything was so fast-paced. Everyone had a specific role and executed it to perfection. Well, everyone except maybe the boom operator since the woman seemed to be asleep in a couch on their right. 

“It’s...impressive.” Clarke said, her eyes taking in everything, carving each part of the set into her memory. 

“It is.” Lexa agreed, “Wanna see the filming sets?” 

Clarke nodded eagerly. 

“Right ahead, m’lady.” Lexa offered her arm and Clarke laughed as she wrapped her own arm around it.

 

 

\-----------

 

 

“I recognize this place!” Clarke said excitedly when they walked into the reconstruction of a street which had been used in the past season as the characters’ refuge. 

Fake houses and trees littered the side of the road. At the far end, Clarke could catch a glimpse of the long wooden barricade. 

“This is where you stand when Alicia’s on watch duty!” she started jumping on her heels, “Can we visit that, please?” 

“Anything for you.” Lexa replied. 

Clarke turned to look at her, eyes soft and lips slightly parted. She took Lexa's hand gently in her own and brought the other to cup the actress’ cheek before kissing her. 

It felt new to Lexa. Being able to kiss her girlfriend in public without having to fear that somebody saw them. In fact, she was pretty sure at least ten people had seen them just now but she couldn't bring herself to care. 

“Let's go!” Clarke said before tugging on Lexa's hand to pull her along towards the barricade. 

Lexa happily followed, her laughter ringing through the air, “Okay but we need to be back in ten minutes.” she warned, knowing she was to be on set soon. 

“Yeah, yeah.” Clarke said, accelerating her pace.

 

 

\-------------

 

 

Lexa laughed when Clarke climbed onto the barricade and mimicked the action of holding a gun and shooting at _walkers_ , mostly called _the infected_ in the sequel _._

Lexa's laughter increased when Clarke started making explosion sounds with her mouth. 

“Having fun?” she shouted. 

“Don't distract me, Lexa. I’m trying to save the village. We need more ammo!” she then shouted. 

A few crew members looked their way, looks of confusion on their faces. Lexa smiled and waved a hand in dismissal. 

“Alright, little warrior.” Lexa said, climbing up the barricade, “I think you’ve killed them all now.” she joked. 

“This is so cool!” Clarke smiled brightly, “Can you tell your boss to hire me? I would make a mean zombie killer.” 

“First of all, we don’t use the term _zombie_ ‘round here.” Lexa smirked, “Second of all, I remember pretty vividly your acting skills or rather lack thereof.” 

“So much for being a supportive girlfriend.” Clarke pouted. 

Lexa kissed her pout away, “Just trying to be honest here. Now get down, I have a scene to shoot soon.”

 

 

\-----------

 

 

Clarke was standing next to the crew. She had opted to stand by Luna’s side, having already met the woman. 

They were about to start shooting a scene on the porch of a house that was all too familiar to Clarke from having seen it many times on tv. Come to think of it, it seemed bigger on television. 

It was amazing to Clarke how focused and in character Lexa already was, even though they hadn’t begun filming yet. The woman completely embraced the character of Alicia to the point where it became nearly impossible to see the actress behind the act. 

Although highly focused, Lexa slipped out of character the second she caught Clarke's eyes looking back at her with awe. A smile broke free and she waved before getting back in character just as quickly. 

Lincoln came to sit next to Lexa on the porch and they followed the stage director’s indications. 

“Impressed yet?” Luna asked. 

Clarke nodded, “She’s beautiful.” she blurted out, then blushed when she realized she had spoken the words out loud. 

Luna hummed in agreement, “Just wait to see her in action. It’s even more impressive live.” 

“I bet.” Clarke answered, eager to find out. 

Her excitement grew as everyone settled in position and the producer came to stand next to one of the camera guys. 

“Okay, is everybody ready?” he asked.

He received noises of agreement from his crew and actors. Clarke grinned and waited somewhat impatiently for it to start. She was growing annoyed by how long things were taking when finally, the producer yelled out the words she had been waiting for. 

“Aaand….action!”

 

 

 


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for taking so long to update!! I cannot apologize enough

 

 

Clarke watched with unconcealed amazement as Lexa perfectly executed one of the few scenes they had rehearsed together the previous night. Each scene was played out by the actress with an uncanny ability to convey the character’s emotions through one intonation, or through one look. 

“And...cut!” the director shouted, “Good job, guys. We’re going to move onto the scene on the rooftop. Starting in ten.” 

Lexa walked up to Clarke and reached for a water bottle on a box behind the blonde, “How was I?” 

Clarke's jaw was slack and she was speechless, “You were...wow.” 

Lexa laughed, “I’ll take that as a compliment.” 

“It definitely was.” Clarke said, “It’s even more impressive in reality than it is on tv. I can’t believe how talented you are.” 

“Coming from an artist herself, I feel very honored.” 

“I’m not an artist.” Clarke denied, scraping the back of her neck, “I just draw some doodles.” 

“Those drawings that I saw hanging in the café you worked at are more than simple doodles, Clarke. They’re magnificent art work.” 

“If you say so.” 

“It’s not just my opinion. It’s the one of many others too.” 

Clarke reached out for Lexa but stopped before her hand could touch Lexa's cheeks, “Wait. Can I touch you or would that mess up your makeup?” 

Lexa smiled and dipped her head so that she could press her lips against Clarke's in a brief kiss, “Doesn’t matter.” she whispered against Clarke's lips. 

Clarke smiled and kissed Lexa again until they were forced to pull away when Lexa heard one of the producers call out for her. 

“I gotta go shoot the next scene.” 

“Can I come with?” 

Lexa hummed, “Yeah, you can.” 

 

 

\--------------

 

 

They had been shooting most of the day, save for a break in the beginning of the afternoon and it was now nearing ten in the evening. Clarke hadn’t seen the time pass by. 

She felt a vibration in her pocket and she reluctantly teared her gaze away from her girlfriend’s current acting performance to look at her phone. 

 _Incoming call from:_ Rae 

She stepped far away enough from the crew and the cameras so that she wouldn’t disturb their job and called her friend back. 

 _“Clarke Elizabeth Griffin, you better have a damn good reason as to why you are not home right now.”_  

Clarke winced, “I’m…in LA?” 

There was silence on the other end, _“Ay, Clarquita, por Dios. What are you doing in LA?”_

“Lexa invited me on set?” Clarke said in a quiet voice, already clenching her eyes in anticipation of her friend’s reaction. 

_“WHAT?”_

There it is. 

_“And you didn’t even tell me? Woman, how could you do this to me?”_

Her words were followed by a long string of profanities in spanish and Clarke winced as each of them left the other woman's lips, “Sorry?” 

_“You better be sorry.” Raven said, “I can’t believe you’re there and I’m stuck at home reading some boring magazine.”_

“Next time you’ll be invited, I promise.” 

_“Of course I will be. No one leaves me behind like this. I don't care how much I love you, you’re not doing this to me ever again or else I'll kill you.”_

Clarke smiled, hearing the affectionate undertones of her friend's voice, “I love you too, Rae.” 

 _“Cállate.”_  

Clarke laughed. 

_“How is it though?”_

“It’s...impressive.” Clarke said, “It’s smaller than what it looks like on television but besides that, everything is the same.” 

_“Was it Lexa who asked you to come to LA?”_

“No. I wanted to be there for her. With her coming out and all, I thought she might appreciate the support.” 

 _“How cute.”_  

“Shut up.” Clarke blushed and let out a nervous laugh, “She was happy to see me, I think.” 

_“Of course she was. That woman is head over heels in love with you.”_

Clarke blushed harder, “She’s not.” 

_“You’re so dense. She could be on one knee on the ground, asking you to marry her and you would still wonder if that woman loves you.”_

“It’s different.” 

_“Or so you think.”_

“Raven, we’re not there yet at all. We've barely just started dating. There's no need to build castles in the air.” 

_“Only you still use those kinds of old sayings. You’re an old soul in a young body, Griff.”_

“If that makes me wise, then I’ll take it.” 

 _“Not all old people are wise.”_ Raven pointed out, _“Supporting evidence, Donald Trump.”_

Clarke smiled, “Good point.” 

_“Anyways, I’m super jealous of you and I only want to kill you slightly but I hope you’ll have a blast there.”_

“Thank you, Raven.” 

_“You better send some selfies with Woods. I need them for scientific purposes.”_

Clarke laughed, “Will do.” 

_“Love you, Clarkey.”_

“I love you too, Rae. I’ll call you tonight, alright?” 

_“Alright, alright. Bye, Clarke.”_

“Bye.” 

The blonde turned her phone off and placed it in her pocket before walking back towards the set. Everyone had moved and they were now filming outside, by the ramparts. Clarke pushed her way past a few extras and her brow creased when she saw what was being filmed at the moment. She didn’t remember having rehearsed that with Lexa the night before. Lexa and Luna were sitting against the ramparts, their hands joined and their eyes locked together. They didn’t seem to be filming yet, the producer moving around to give final instructions. 

“Alright, everyone in position. We’ll start rolling in twenty seconds!” the producer yelled out. 

Clarke approached someone, “Which scene is that?” 

The woman didn’t tear her gaze away from the actors, “They decided to shoot the scene of the kiss today because the other scenes didn’t take too long to shoot and we still had one hour to spare.” 

“Oh.” 

Clarke's expression lost its happiness and she swallowed heavily. A weight settled in her chest as she watched Lexa and Luna sitting so close to each other. 

 _It’s just acting,_ she repeated herself but the feeling of deep jealousy wouldn’t go away no matter how hard she tried to get past it. 

Lexa's eyes met her own briefly and she forced a smile on her lips. The insincerity of it must have been noted by Lexa because the brunette threw her a look of concern. 

Before she could respond to it, however, the producer demanded for everyone to be quiet and they started shooting the scene. At first, Lexa's and Luna’s characters were just speaking in low voices. Then, Luna leaned closer and Lexa followed her lead. 

Clarke's breathing increased slightly and her hands balled into fists when her girlfriend's lips met Luna's. 

“Excuse me.” she whispered as she pushed past people to get away. 

 _It’s just acting,_ she repeated again but she couldn’t stop the possessiveness settling inside her. She hated it. She had never been a very possessive person and she didn’t know what was going on. 

She sat down on the porch of one of the set’s houses and buried her face in her hands, “Get a grip.” she whispered to herself. 

In the distance, she could hear the producer yelling out instructions and telling the actresses that they would do a few more takes to be sure to have the best one possible. 

Clarke sighed. She pulled out her phone and turned it back on. She fumbled with it for a few seconds, opening and closing various apps, merely looking for something to busy herself with. 

About twenty minutes later, she heard footsteps coming her way but didn’t react. She scrolled up her twitter feed until someone came to a stop in front of her. 

She could only see their shoes and she raised her gaze, squinting to see in the darkness of the early night, until blue met green. From down here, Lexa's eyes looked a shade of grey but what struck Clarke the most was the worry in those eyes. 

Lexa crouched down, “Is something wrong?” she asked, her hand reaching out to catch hold of Clarke's. 

Clarke shrugged, “I’m fine.” 

“You left.” Lexa simply said. 

“Yeah.” 

Lexa changed her sitting position and crossed her legs, “Why?” 

Clarke shrugged. 

“Clarke…” 

“What?” 

Lexa's eyes softened and she took hold of Clarke's other hand too, bringing each one to her lips consecutively. 

“Why did you leave?” 

Clarke looked away, “I just...didn’t…” she sighed, “It hurt watching you with Luna and it’s stupid because I know it’s just acting but I can’t help it. And it’s late and I’m tired and I just had to get away otherwise I don’t know what-” 

“Baby.” Lexa's gentle voice interrupted her nervous rambling, “I understand.” she rubbed her thumbs over the back of Clarke's hands, “I really don’t think I would have enjoyed watching you kiss someone else even if it was just for show.” 

“I’m sorry.” Clarke apologized, eyes downcast. 

Lexa placed her index and thumb on Clarke's chin and tilted it up until blue eyes connected with her own, “Don’t be.” she whispered. 

“Lexa!” they heard someone yell in the distance, “We need you back to shoot one final scene!” 

Lexa sighed, “I have to go back.” 

“I’ll go with you.” Clarke announced. 

“If you would rather stay here, you can. I wouldn't blame you.” Lexa said quietly, adjusting her jacket over her shoulders. 

“I want to come watch you.” 

Lexa nodded. She helped Clarke up and before going back to the filming area, she grabbed the collar of Clarke's jacket and tugged on it to crash their lips together. 

Clarke's right hand shot up to cup the side of Lexa's head and she hummed into the kiss. Lexa smirked against her lips, then slowly pulled away. 

“I only want you.” the actress whispered, “There’s no one else, I swear.” 

Clarke dragged her fingers down Lexa's cheek. Her eyes scanned the brunette's face and she pecked plump lips once more before stepping away. 

“Go be amazing.” she gently pushed Lexa in the general direction of the filming area. 

Lexa grabbed her hand and laced their fingers. They both walked together back to the set, laughing at the annoyed look Lexa's producer gave her when she arrived late.

 

 

\------------

 

 

“Clarke.” 

Clarke hummed. She had inadvertently fallen asleep on a couch after the director decided to drag the filming out a bit more. 

She felt a hand caress her cheek in a back and forth motion. The hand then moved to her hair and stroked circles into it. She hummed to express her contentment but her eyes remained closed. 

“Baby, it’s time to go back to my place. You can sleep in my bed if you want. It’s much more comfortable, I promise.” 

Clarke didn't reply verbally. She simply moved closer to the voice and smiled when she felt Lexa's lips against her forehead, “I’m good here.” 

Lexa laughed, “I can see that.” 

Lexa sat on the couch and Clarke lifted her head before dropping it back onto the brunette's thighs, “Very comfy.” she mumbled tiredly. 

Lexa resumed stroking her hair, “We’ll have to go home eventually.” 

“Home?” Clarke repeated with a smirk. 

Lexa blushed, “You know what I meant.” 

“Will you carry me there?” Clarke joked. She yelped when two strong arms lifted her and she instinctively wrapped her arms around Lexa's neck, “I was just kidding.” she laughed. 

Lexa smiled, “Let’s go.” she said before carrying the blonde towards the exit of the set, “I’ve already called my chauffeur.” 

“Must be convenient to have that.” 

Lexa smiled to herself. Despite the low temperature of the early hours of the night, she felt warm inside when her girlfriend snuggled close to her, the blonde's lips brushing the skin of her neck. 

By the time Lexa's chauffeur arrived, Clarke had fallen back asleep. Lexa carefully lifted Clarke inside the car and reached for the seatbelt to place it securely over Clarke's body. She climbed inside from the other side of the car and told her chauffeur to start driving them back home. 

Every now and then, she stole glances towards her girlfriend who slept peacefully, head leaning against the car window. She grabbed a cushion in the front seat and placed it behind Clarke's head to save the blonde from getting a stiff neck. 

The car pulled in front of her apartment building and she unfastened Clarke's seatbelt before lifting the sleeping woman into her arms once more. She heard her girlfriend mumble something and thought she had awoken but when she looked down, she saw that Clarke was still deeply asleep. She smiled to herself. She asked her chauffeur to open the building’s door with the keys in her pocket and thanked the man before stepping inside. 

The woman in her arms moved slightly in search of the warmth and comfort Lexa's body provided. Lexa turned around and pressed the elevator’s button with her elbow. 

When she arrived in her hallway, she gently lowered Clarke on the floor so that she could pull out her keys and open the door to her apartment. She heard a small sound of discontentment from Clarke when the warmth of Lexa's body was gone but soon, the blonde was once again in Lexa's arms. 

“You’re so strong.” Clarke mumbled. 

“So you _were_ awake.” 

Clarke shook her head, “Just woke up now.” she informed her, “I can feel your muscles through your shirt.” she commented, “So hot.” 

“You have difficulties filtering your words when you’re tired, don’t you?” Lexa laughed. 

Clarke hummed and started leaving sloppy kisses on Lexa's neck when the brunette kicked the door of her apartment closed behind her, “You’re so beautiful.” the blonde whispered. 

“Not as beautiful as you.” Lexa walked to her bedroom. 

Clarke nearly moaned when her back hit the mattress and she grabbed the covers, wrapping them around herself tightly. Lexa laughed and went to the bathroom to take a quick shower before going to sleep. 

“Lexa, come back.” 

“I’ll be back in ten minutes.” Lexa whispered, “Go to sleep. You need it.” 

Clarke didn’t argue any further, far too tired to even consider doing so. Her eyelids fell shut and her muscles went limp as her exhaustion slowly took over. 

When Lexa came back, she struggled to find a way to make Clarke release the tight grip she had on the covers. She feared a brutal movement would wake up her girlfriend. 

Eventually, she gave up and went to get a second blanket, placing it over her body. It wasn't nearly as warm as her bed covers but it would have to do. Clarke clearly needed a good night sleep more than she did. 

Before she could fall asleep, she felt warmth surround her as Clarke's arms wrapped around her body. She moved closer, her body seeking that warmth, and she smiled when she heard her girlfriend’s small contented noises. 

She opened her eyes and began admiring Clarke's peaceful expression. Her eyes scanned the blonde's face, from the mole above her upper lip to her long eyelashes and beautifully shaped eyebrows. 

Her fingers itched to touch her, to drag her fingertips down pale cheeks and smooth skin. A rush of emotions flowed over her and she felt overwhelmed by the immensity and abruptness of it. 

“I…” she started whispering but stopped to make sure Clarke was still asleep. 

She was. 

“I think I’m in love with you.” Lexa whispered for no one but herself to hear, her fingers reaching out to slide across Clarke's cheek, “But I’m scared you’ll leave me if I tell you just how much you already mean to me.” she added dejectedly, “So I’ll keep quiet for now. Because I don’t want to scare you off. Because you…you might be the best thing that’s ever happened to me.” 

Clarke moved in her sleep and Lexa was struck by a sudden fright and fear that Clarke had been awake and had heard her all along. 

“Clarke?” 

No response. 

“Are you awake?” 

She heard nothing, save for the blonde's steady breathing and breathed out a sigh of relief. Her hand left Clarke's face and she scooted closer so that she could hide her face in the crook of the woman's neck. 

It didn’t take her long to fall asleep after that.

 

 

\--------------

 

 

Clarke woke up to an empty bed. She frowned and reached for her phone on the nightstand. The only new messages were from her best friend and her gynecologist, asking if it was possible to reschedule their upcoming appointment. 

She replied to the doctor first, deciding to respond to Raven's message _-or rather messages-_ later, once she’ll have figured out where Lexa was hiding. 

She saw it from the corner of her eye. A small note was sticking out of the mirror. She picked it up and inspected the neat handwriting on it.

 

_Good morning. You look absolutely beautiful. Before you tell yourself that I can’t know that because I’m not with you, let me just point out that I know because you always look beautiful. I’m rambling but you deserve the praise. I had to get up early to shoot the first few scenes of the day. You looked very happy to get some sleep and I didn’t have the heart to wake you up. If you still wish to join me, I have left my chauffeur’s number at the bottom of the page, you can give him a call. If not, make yourself comfortable. I have more food than I will ever need in the fridge and lots of dvds in the drawers under the tv. Those are mostly romantic movies, do not make fun of me. Make yourself at home really. See you later xo_

_Lexa_

Clarke's smile grew with each word she read. She held the note close to her chest for a few seconds before grabbing her phone. 

**Clarke (9.07am):** _You’re amazing and I like you so much_

**Lexa (9.09am):** _I like you too, a whole lot. There's so much I want to say but I don’t want to through text_

**Clarke (9.10am):** _When is your next break?_

**Lexa (9.10am):** _In an hour and a half if all goes well. Gotta go now, sorry...speak later?_

**Clarke (9.11am):** _Later, baby. I’ll call your chauffeur to come get me_ ;) 

Clarke's heart fluttered and she closed her eyes briefly, green eyes flashing behind her closed eyelids. She missed Lexa and it hadn’t even been a day. _What the fuck_. She blushed at the thought of how needy she must look from an external point of view, not that she cared much. She took a shower, got dressed quickly and called the number Lexa had left on the note. 

The chauffeur was in front of the building less than ten minutes later. Clarke thanked him as she settled in the backseat, then told him where to drive her with a kind smile. She fished her phone out of her pocket, glancing at the scenery on the other side of the window glass from time to time. Her thumb distractedly pressed on the twitter app and confusion grew in her when she noted the number of notifications she had. 

_56 new notifications._

_Wow._

She fearfully went through them and felt her good mood leave her. Her heart plummeted at a specifically rude comment. 

 **FxarTWD** _@vvangoc_ : @ClarkeGriffin _Lexa will leave you soon enough, fatty. Atom and her are the real deal_

Her eyes read it over and over again and each time it hurt more than the first. She shut her phone off and grew eerily silent. She heard the chiming of her phone but ignored it. She looked down at herself. Yes, she had gained some weight over the past few weeks but nothing too alarming, right? It didn’t mean she was no longer attractive. Right? 

“Is everything okay, Ms. Griffin?” 

Clarke was surprised to hear the chauffeur refer to her by her last name, “How-” 

“Lexa gave me your name and last name when she asked if it was possible for me to pick you up, were you ever in need of a chauffeur. I hope that is okay.” 

“It’s...it’s okay.” Clarke answered, still shaken up by the tweet she had read. _I guess I should get used to that now._

“Ms. Woods cares very much for you.” the chauffeur commented, “That much is clear.” 

“I know.” Clarke forced a smile on her face, “I care about her too.” 

The chauffeur smiled at her through the rear view mirror, “Good.” he simply said. His next words came a few silent seconds later, “Because that woman deserves nothing less than the world.” 

“And I want to give her that. I’m trying to.” 

The driver smiled to himself, “My name is Nyko, by the way. I have been serving Ms. Woods for two years now and I have never met someone as humble and kind as her.” 

“Neither have I.” Clarke replied with an admirative look in her eyes, “She’s nothing short of amazing.” 

“What brought your mood down, if I may ask?” 

“What?” 

“I am not foolish, Ms. Griffin.” 

“Call me Clarke, please.” 

“As you wish.” he smiled again, “You were in a much better mood when you entered my vehicle and I would like to think my presence isn't what caused such a mood shift in you.” 

“Oh no, not at all.” 

Nyko simply nodded, respectful of Clarke's apparent wish to not talk about the reasons behind her sudden sadness. Clarke was thankful for that. 

When he pulled up inside the filming site, telling security that Clarke was with Ms. Woods, the former barista stepped out of the car, not without thanking Nyko for the ride. 

She looked around and tried to remember the itinerary she had followed with Lexa the day earlier but could remember nothing. 

**Clarke (10.28am):** _I’m lost_

**Lexa (10.31am):** _Where are you?_

**Clarke (10.31am):** _Right past security, by the main entrance. Can’t remember the way_

**Lexa (10.32am):** _Stay where you are_

Clarke expected Lexa to send someone from her team to get her and direct her to the filming area. What she definitely didn’t expect was for Lexa to arrive three minutes later, _running_ and _sweating_. 

“Found you.” Lexa announced proudly, panting slightly, “I was right.” 

Clarke's brow furrowed, “What?” 

“I was right. You look beautiful.” 

Clarke smacked her shoulder but a smile grew on her lips. She forgot all about the tweet which had seemed like such a big deal a few minutes ago. Now that her girlfriend was around, it seemed trivial and unimportant to her. It was scary the effect Lexa had on her after only a couple weeks or so of dating each other. Clarke tried to focus on the positive feeling Lexa's presence provided rather than on the many reasons why dating an actress could only result in a disaster. 

Lexa laughed lightly, “Shall we go?” 

Clarke hummed, “I thought your break wasn’t before eleven.” 

“Change of plans. Lincoln and Kim are shooting right now. I’m shooting in the afternoon.” 

“So you could have stayed in bed with me.” Clarke concluded, pouting, slightly frustrated that they had been robbed of that unnecessarily. 

“And I would have loved to.” Lexa smiled, “Soon.” she then promised before catching hold of Clarke's hand. She led them through the trailers and through the main road leading to the filming set. The wind was smacking particularly hard and Clarke tried to hide her face in the collar of her sweatshirt to feel warmer. 

“I didn’t expect that much wind.” _Should have brought a jacket,_ Clarke thought. 

“It’s the end of November.” Lexa pointed out, already taking off her jacket and placing it over Clarke's shoulders, “Here.” she whispered. 

“Thank you.” 

Lexa smiled.

 

 

\-------------

 

 

“Why are you so quiet?” Lexa asked hesitantly. She sat down next to her girlfriend on the ground, hands folded in her lap. 

“I don’t know what you mean.” Clarke looked away, eyes fleeing and hands fidgety. 

“Clarke.” 

“What?” 

Lexa raised an eyebrow. She looked at her girlfriend pointedly until the blonde let out a sigh of resignation. 

“I’m okay, really.” Clarke lied, “Nothing bad, I promise.” 

Lexa moved until she was sitting in front of Clarke, “You’re lying. I know you’re lying because you always look to the right when you’re lying.” 

“Wha-” 

“Why are you lying to me?” 

Clarke clenched her eyes, “Because it’s not important enough for me to drag you into this.” 

“I’m your girlfriend. I want to help as much as possible.” 

“I know but I just don’t want to burden you with this.” 

Lexa shook her head vividly, “You’re not... _burdening_ me at all. Is it because of something I have done?” 

“What? No, of course not.” 

“Then why?” 

Clarke could hear the pleading tone of Lexa's voice all too clearly, “Do you...do you think I’m too fat?” 

Lexa was silent for a few seconds, eyes unblinking and mouth slightly agape, “What?” she ended up saying. 

“Do you think-” 

“No, no, I heard you the first time.” Lexa hurried to say, “I meant, how could you even think that? You are _perfect,_ just the way you are.” 

Clarke looked down in shame and embarrassment, “I used to be thinner, you know. But then life happened and-” 

“Clarke, shut the fuck up.” 

Clarke stopped speaking abruptly, and the silence lasted for a few seconds before it was filled again, “I just feel like maybe you won’t like what you see anym-” 

Lexa surged forward and captured Clarke's lips in an attempt to finally shut her up, “Stop talking.” she whispered in between kisses. 

When they pulled apart, Lexa brushed Clarke's hair away from her face. Her hand lingered on the woman's cheek afterwards. 

“Why do you think it matters to me how much you weigh?” 

“Because you’re so fit and I’m so...not.” Clarke sighed, “You have abs and toned muscles and...everything. Next to you, I look like a huge sack of potatoes.” 

“Then you are the sexiest sack of potatoes I have ever seen.” 

The sound of Clarke's laughter reached Lexa's ears and it pulled a smile from her. She leaned forward until their foreheads gently knocked together. 

“In all seriousness, there isn’t a single thing I would change about you even if I could. You are perfect to me.” 

A tear rolled down Clarke's cheek and Lexa was quick to press her lips against it. She then closed her eyes and let silence surround them. 

In the distance, they could hear her superior roaring out orders and giving directions to the working actors. Their ears could also catch the sound of material being moved around in preparation for a scene. 

Wind started blowing more intensely and Lexa hugged Clarke tighter when she felt the woman shiver in her arms. 

“Thank you, Lexa.” 

“Don’t thank me for simply telling the truth.” the actress whispered, opening her eyes to admire Clarke's face, “You should be more confident in yourself. You have every right to be.” 

Clarke started shaking her head but Lexa stopped her by pressing her lips against Clarke's. 

“And I’m not just speaking about the physical aspect of you because on top of your extremely good looks, you have the purest, most precious heart. I’ve seldom met someone who showed so much care and kindness to those around them.” 

“I don't deserve you.” 

“You deserve much better.” Lexa corrected, “And I can only promise to try and be good enough for you. You, Clarke Griffin, deserve the world.” 

Clarke leaned forward and engulfed Lexa in an embrace that warmed both their freezing bodies. Their lips locked and they only separated when air made itself rare. 

“I wish I could stay with you like this forever.” Clarke confessed, head falling against Lexa's chest. This was the closest to a confession she would get for now. 

The actress had to show extreme self-restraint in order to not blurt out the three little words that could potentially ruin the moment if they were considered to have been said too early. 

“Me too.” she said instead, biting on her tongue to refrain from saying more, “Me too.”

 

 

\----------------

 

 

“I have to go back home tomorrow evening.” Clarke said when they were lying down in Lexa's bed late that night _-or early, depending on how we see things-,_ facing one another. 

“What?” the word left Lexa's lips quietly, “I thought you could stay longer?” 

Clarke gave her an apologetic look, “So did I but I got a call this afternoon when you were filming. They asked me to come for a job interview. Normally, I have the job thanks to my friend’s recommendation but they still want to be sure.” 

“Why didn’t you tell me earlier?” 

Clarke's fingers traced the outline of Lexa's jaw, “Because you looked happy and I didn’t want to ruin the mood then.” 

“But you…” Lexa started, then got quiet. 

“I’m sorry for only now telling you about it. I just thought you should enjoy the rest of the day without worrying about other things.” 

“We only have one day left together?” Lexa asked. 

Clarke cupped her cheek and kissed her, “For now, but I will come back. Soon.” 

Lexa's eyes fell to the folds in the mattress and she started scraping her fingers against it, “I’ll miss you.” she whispered. 

Clarke moved closer until her chest was pressing against Lexa's. She took Lexa's hand between both of hers and kissed the actress’ knuckles. 

“I’ll call everyday. I’ll text also. I’ll even tweet you.” she added with a grin. 

“In my direct messages?” 

“Of course. No one can know how big of a softie Lexa Woods actually is. That would break your whole reputation.” 

“And what would that reputation be?” 

“That you’re a badass who rarely shows emotions and who never bothers to date anyone because no one managed to steal her heart as of yet.” 

 _You have,_ Lexa thought, “Maybe people just make really bad assumptions about who I really am.” 

“Or maybe you won't let them see you for who you truly are and they are left guessing.” 

“It wouldn’t be fun if I immediately let people see through me.” 

“So you just let them discover you by taking off your protection layer by layer and hope they'll like what they find?” 

Lexa kissed the spot below Clarke's ear, “It worked with you, didn’t it?” 

“It was different with me. You let me figure you out before revealing your real identity.” 

Lexa internally winced at the reminder, “Sorry I lied. I know it’s in the past but still. It wasn't fair.” 

“We’ve talked about this before, baby. You had your reasons and they were entirely valid.” Clarke slipped her hand under Lexa's sleeping shirt and raked her nails over the brunette's stomach. 

Lexa shivered at the touch and she blushed in embarrassment when a muffled moan escaped her throat. 

“Are you turned on, Ms. Woods?” Clarke asked, one eyebrow raised in amusement and interest. 

Lexa shook her head, “Nope.” 

Clarke laughed, “You are a terrible liar.” she whispered, leaning closer and biting on Lexa's earlobe before closing her lips around it. 

“C-Clarke.” 

Clarke hummed. 

“If you don’t stop, I’ll-” Lexa pushed on Clarke's shoulders slightly, “I’m sorry.” she mumbled, “I just-” 

“Want to wait.” Clarke smiled, “I know. And I understand.” she added, “We don’t have to do anything.” 

Lexa's heart jumped at Clarke's words, “Thank you.” she whispered, “Thank you so much.” 

Clarke kissed her, “You have nothing to thank me for.” she told her quietly. Lexa hugged her tightly, so much so that Clarke felt squished, “Lex? You’re crushing me.” she chuckled. 

Lexa mumbled out an apology, moving away from her girlfriend, only by a few inches. 

“I appreciate it but that was a little too tight.” Clarke laughed. 

Lexa pouted, “I just had...a rush of...you know.” she tried to explain, making wide, imprecise gestures. 

Clarke moved closer and brushed their noses together, “I get it.” she murmured before capturing Lexa's lips.

 

 

\--------------

 

 

“I hate this.” 

That was the first word Lexa spoke since they left the house that afternoon to go to the airport. They were currently walking through the airport to reach security, Anya in tow to keep an eye out for potential threats. 

Clarke smiled sadly, “I know.” 

“It’s so much harder to be the one who stays.” she realized, “I can’t just watch you leave.” 

Clarke moved closer and pulled her in an embrace, “I won’t be away for long. And we’ll keep in touch, alright?” 

“For sure. I’m not letting you ghost me.” 

“I would never.” 

Clarke's hands moved to Lexa's jaw but before their lips could meet, a bright flash blinded them both. 

“What the f-” Clarke shielded her eyes. 

“Paparazzi.” Lexa said, lips pursed, “I should have expected it.” she thought out loud.

 

_Lexa! Is this your girlfriend?_

_How long have you been together?_

_How have you known you were gay?_

_Is she okay with your lifestyle? Is it hard?_

Questions started fusing and Lexa was trying to shield Clarke from the cameras with her body. One paparazzi moved a little too close to Clarke for Lexa's taste and she pushed him away as best she could, “Leave her alone, for fuck’s sake.” 

Anya tried to control the mass of paparazzi while Lexa and Clarke tried to find a more quiet place. Unfortunately, attention had been drawn to them and now fans were surrounding them as well. Lexa took very few pictures before excusing herself and striding away, hand clasped in Clarke's. A couple fans followed after them and Lexa groaned, “Not now.” she muttered under her breath as she came to a stop. 

One of the two fans grabbed her arm and snapped a picture before she could react. She freed herself with a sharp yank of her arm. Clarke stepped forward, “Hey!” she yelled, “Have some respect! She’s not your fucking property. You have no right to just grab her like that.” 

“Clarke, it’s okay.” Lexa tried to keep the situation from escalating. She grabbed Clarke's arm. 

“No, it’s not!” Clarke exclaimed, yanking her arm away. 

Hurt filled emerald eyes, “Clarke…” 

The blonde huffed, “Do you expect me to just stand there and not do anything? Because that's not happening, okay?” 

The fans discreetly distanced themselves when the two women's voices started increasing in volume. The two women were so caught up in their conversation that neither noticed a phone being lifted up by one of the fans to record the scene. 

“That’s not what I’m saying.” Lexa stepped closer, “I don’t want to burden you with my status. I want to protect you from it.” 

“You can’t.” Clarke stated. 

“I know.” Lexa's shoulders slumped. 

“I don’t need protection.” 

“I know.” Lexa bowed her head in shame, “I didn't mean to imply this at all, I just-” 

Clarke's hands dropped from where they were resting on her hips, “I know you meant well but I’m not some defenseless woman who needs saving.” 

“I _know_ that.” 

“Then don’t treat me like some kid who’s too weak and ignorant to defend themselves against the world.” 

“I suck at this.” Lexa lamented, burying her head in her hands. 

Clarke reached out for her arms and pried her hands away from her face before engulfing her in a hug, “I know that you are trying your best but sometimes you need to let me handle things on my own.” 

Lexa stayed silent. 

“Whether you want it or not, I am affected by your status. Because I'm dating you. It’s just unavoidable.” 

Lexa nodded, “Okay.” she simply said. 

Clarke pulled away from the hug and pecked Lexa's lips, “Now, can we please forget about all this? I don’t want our last moments together to be spent fighting.” 

“Me neither.” Lexa said. 

“Good.” Clarke grabbed her hand. She looked ahead and that’s when she saw the camera, “Hey! Have you been filming this?” 

The fans took off running before Clarke could even react. 

“Shit.” Clarke said, getting ready to run after them but Lexa anticipated and wrapped her arms around the blonde. 

“Don’t bother.” she whispered, “You won’t find them. And if this video ends up on the internet, my team will do what they can to take it down.” 

Clarke huffed, “I would have caught them easily.” she saw Lexa's raised eyebrow and rolled her eyes, “Okay, I wouldn’t have but still.” 

Lexa chuckled, “It’s time to get you to your gate anyway.” she reminded after looking down at her watch, “Anya should still be over there. Hopefully, the paparazzi are gone now.” 

“Tough luck.” Clarke said when they arrived back in the main hall and saw a group of paparazzi still standing there. There were fewer of them, though. 

“Maybe we can walk past them without being noticed?” 

Clarke laughed, “You can try but there is a 0.1% chance of succeeding in that.” 

Surely enough, the second they rounded the corner, the paparazzi turned towards them and started snapping picture after picture. Anya walked up to them, “I’ve called your security team. I can’t handle it all on my own. Also, I caught those fans who harassed you earlier.” she nodded towards the fans who were being watched over by Lexa's bodyguard. 

“Thank you.” Lexa said, breathing a sigh of relief. 

Clarke placed a hand on her shoulder and told her she would go delete the video previously taken from the fan’s phone.

Lexa nodded and turned towards Anya, “Maybe I should start moving with my security team more often…” she thought out loud. 

Anya hummed, “It was your choice to not be watched over constantly by a bodyguard but I honestly think it could be a good thing.” 

“I know.” Lexa agreed, “You know what to do.” she added. 

Anya gave a sharp nod, “You have to say goodbye to Clarke now, though.” she motioned towards the blonde who was handing his phone back to the fan, “Her plane leaves in thirty minutes and she has to go through security.” 

Lexa's mood deflated. Her eyes strayed to Clarke who was calmly speaking to the two teenagers, and she nodded, “I know.” she whispered, “What if we can’t see each other for very long after that?” 

Anya hugged her, “You’ll figure it out. You always do.” 

“I’ve never felt like this about anyone, An.” Lexa confessed, “I’m scared of what my feelings mean.” 

Anya pulled away from the hug, “You love her.” it wasn’t a question. 

“I do.” Lexa confirmed, “I want-” she stopped speaking, frustrated at her inability to voice what she felt. 

“What do you want?” 

“I wish things were easier.” she lamented, “I wish I wasn’t Lexa Woods sometimes. I just want to be a girl in love with another girl without the whole world getting involved in our business.” 

“What else do you want?” Anya said, sensing there was more. 

“I…” Lexa huffed in frustration, “I want to tell her how I feel but I’m terrified it’ll scare her away. She’s...she’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me, An. I can’t lose her.” 

“You won’t lose her if you tell her how you feel, Lex.” 

“What if she doesn’t feel the same?” 

Anya places a hand on Lexa's shoulder, “Maybe she does. And even if she doesn't feel as strongly about you now, it doesn't mean she never will.” 

“Are you saying I should tell her?” 

“I’m saying you should do what feels right to you. Follow your heart instead of always overthinking stuff. You don’t have to tell her right now but don’t keep yourself from saying the things you want to say because of some irrational fear of rejection. This girl has showed time and time again that she cares about you. She wouldn’t just leave you.” 

“People leave.” was all Lexa said. 

“Not Clarke. I think you and I both know she's not like most people.” 

“I thought you didn’t like her.” 

“I was wary of her at first but that’s because I care for your safety and happiness. She has proved herself to be trustworthy and I’ve seen the positive impact she's had on you.” Anya smiled, “You look happier lately, more relaxed, less closed off.” 

Lexa looked down and nodded, “I feel happier.” 

“You’ve been hiding who you were for so long that you forgot what it feels like to be free of all the lying and pretending. You don’t have to hide anymore, Lex. You can finally breathe normally. You finally get to be yourself.” 

Lexa's eyes filled with tears, “I don’t think I know how to do this anymore.” 

Anya pulled her into another embrace, “You’ve come a long way and I am so proud of you for that. You’ll get back on your feet. You always do.” 

Lexa nodded against Anya's shoulder, “Thank you. I really needed to hear this.” 

“Anytime.”

 

 

\------------

 

 

“Call me when you land?” Lexa asked, her hands playing with Clarke's fingers, eyes too scared to look up into blue and see sadness reflected in them. 

“Of course.” Clarke tilted her head up, “And everyday after that. Don’t think you can avoid me just because I’m thousands of miles away.” 

“I wouldn’t even dream of it.” Lexa said, their eyes locking, “I’ll miss you so badly, every single day.” 

“Be careful, Woods. It almost looks like you care about me.” Clarke teased, brushing their noses together. 

“You have no idea how much.” Lexa whispered back before pressing their lips together in a soft kiss. 

“I really have to go now.” Clarke said quietly, already moving back slightly. 

Lexa surged forward and hugged her tightly, “I don’t want to let go of you. You’ll just disappear if I do that.” 

“I won’t completely disappear. I’ll still be here. Maybe not physically here but you won’t even notice my absence.” 

“You know that’s false.” Lexa smiled, “I will definitely notice it.” 

Clarke started pulling away and Lexa reluctantly loosened her hold, “I’ll call you when I land.” Clarke reiterated. She kissed Lexa once more before grabbing the handle of her suitcase and rolling away. She moved through security then disappeared after one last glance ans smile in Lexa's direction. 

 _It is so much harder to be the one who stays,_ Lexa realized once again, standing alone in the airport’s main hall. 

She felt a hand squeeze her shoulder and gave a tentative smile to Anya, “Let’s go back home, alright?” the older woman said with a smile. 

Lexa nodded, “Okay.” she looked one last time at the gate through which Clarke had walked seconds prior, then followed after her manager to the exit of the airport.

 

_I miss her_

_I need her_

_I love her_

 

 

 


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, so sorry for taking so long to update. I thought the summer holidays would allow me to update more often but it turns out my summer job is way more time consuming than I had anticipated :/

 

 

Lexa was browsing through her various social media when something caught her attention. Clarke had recently posted a new picture. She scanned the picture, her brows furrowed at the sight of Bellamy, one arm around Clarke, holding the woman close.

A sense of insecurity washed over her. Bellamy could give Clarke much more than she ever could in the sense that he wasn’t frequently absent. He could be right beside Clarke whenever she needed it. Lexa couldn’t do the same. She would more often than not be thousands of miles away.

She sighed and locked her phone, dropping backwards onto her bed. An unfamiliar and uneasy feeling formed in the pit of her stomach. _Jealousy._ Why would Clarke want to be with her when Bellamy could offer the same all the while being by her side at all times? It was a stupid way to think and she knew it but she couldn’t help it.

 

 

<<<>>> 

 

 

Anya frowned when she entered a completely silent house. She stepped into the bedroom and pinched the bridge of her nose, “What now?”

Lexa didn’t reply with words. She simply showed Anya the instagram picture.

“That’s-” Anya rolled her eyes, “That’s why you’re upset? Seriously?” Lexa nodded, “Lexa, you can’t just start doubting everything whenever you see a picture of Clarke with someone else.”

“She looks happy.” Lexa noted.

“And she looks about ten times happier when she’s around you.” Anya shot back, snatching Lexa's phone away, “Give me that, you idiot.”

Lexa didn’t protest. She simply crossed her arms in front of her chest, “Stop mocking me.”

“Here's what we're going to do, you’re going to like the picture like the normal girlfriend you are and stop making such a fuss about it.” Anya said, double-tapping on the screen.

Lexa fixed her with a glare, “Okay, give it back to me now.”

Once she had her phone back, she left a comment under Clarke's picture.

**lexawoods:** _you look beautiful_

“See, that’s much better.” Anya smiled, “Now stop freaking out like that. She wants to be with you, not anyone else. Distance won’t change that.”

“You don’t know that.”

“I have a good feeling about you two and you know how good I am with hunches.”

“Your instincts aren’t as good as you think them to be.”

“Agree to disagree.”

Lexa laughed and placed her phone aside before pushing herself off the bed, “I’m going to order some food. What do you want?”

“Surprise me.”

 

 

\-----------

 

 

“People are assholes.” Raven huffed, locking the screen of her phone, “How can they say stuff like that?”

Clarke shrugged. She took another bite of her meal, “I don’t know, Rae.”

“What does Lexa say about that?”

“She doesn't know.” Clarke said quietly.

Raven dropped her fork in her plate, “What do you mean? You haven’t told her?” she frowned.

Clarke shook her head, “I don’t want to bother her with that. I knew what I signed up for when we decided to make our relationship official. I can handle it.”

“Not on your own.” Raven reasoned, “You’re not supposed to deal with this on your own. She can help you. But how do you want her to do that if she doesn't even know that something is wrong?”

Clarke shrugged, “I can handle it.” she repeated.

“Maybe now you can.” Raven said, scooting closer to her best friend, “But what about next month? And the one after that? Those messages won’t just suddenly stop coming.”

“I know.”

“You need to tell Lexa.”

“I don’t want to bo-”

“You don't want to bother her. Yeah, I understood that the first time. But do you really think she would be thrilled to know that you’re having difficulties adapting to all of this and that you didn't care to let her know?” Raven wrapped an arm around Clarke's shoulders, “She cares about you and she would want to help.”

“Those are not her fans. They're just people who pretend to be but don’t care for her or her privacy. I don't want her fandom to be generalized because of some assholes here and there.”

“Doesn’t mean you have to act as a punching bag in the meantime. Call your girlfriend, babe. Tell her how you feel.”

“Rae…”

“Communication is key.” Raven said, “Don’t make me call her.”

“You don't have her number.”

“Yes, I do.”

“You’re bluffing.”

“One hundred percent but it doesn’t matter. _Call her.”_ she shoved Clarke's phone towards her.

Clarke sighed and called Lexa, “Fine.” she mumbled. The call was picked up after three rings.

_“Hey, babe.”_

It was crazy how soothing and reassuring it was to simply hear her girlfriend’s voice, “Hey.” she smiled, “How are you?”

_“I’m good! We’re getting ready to start shooting which leaves me with a few minutes to spare. I was just about to call you actually but you beat me to it.”_

Lexa's laughter reached Clarke's ears and she smiled to herself.

_“What about you? How are you?”_

“Oh, uh, I’m good. Yeah, I’m good.”

Raven kicked her in the shin and threw her a pointed look, _“Tell her.”_ she mouthed.

_“Clarke? Are you sure you're okay?”_

“Yeah, yeah, it’s nothing important, don't worry.” she lied, clenching her eyes and ignoring Raven's insistent stare.

_“Please, don’t lie to me.”_

Clarke sighed, “I just read some comments on Twitter. No big deal, I'll get over it quickly.”

 _“Clarke…”_ Lexa said, _“You need to tell me when things like that happen. If you want me to make a public announcement of some sort, I could-”_

“I don’t think it would change much. I just have to get used to it.”

 _“But you shouldn’t have to. I hate this so much.”_ Lexa seethed, _“What did those messages say?”_

“Just things about my weight and stuff.” Clarke quietly admitted.

 _“I’m so sorry.”_ Lexa murmured, _“Your body is perfect. Please, don’t let anyone make you think otherwise.”_

Clarke smiled at that, “You don't have to apologize.”

 _“I feel like I do.”_ Lexa said, _“My fans are my responsibility. And they should treat you with the respect you deserve.”_

“Those are not really your fans.”

 _“It doesn’t matter.”_ Lexa said, _“I want you to call me whenever something like this happens, alright? I want to help whenever I can.”_

“Okay.” Clarke said, almost in a whisper, “I should let you get back to your job.”

_“Call me whenever you want, okay? Even if I’m not available. I’ll always call you back.”_

“Okay.”

_“You are beautiful, Clarke.”_

Clarke smiled to herself and ignored Raven when the woman leveled her with a look which could only mean _I told you so._

 _“I have to go back to work.”_ Lexa regretfully said, _“I’ll call you later, alright?”_

“Yeah.” Clarke grinned, “Thank you for this, Lex.” she passed a hand through her hair, “Bye.” she softly said before ending the call.

Raven tackled her to the ground, “Say it.”

“Say what?” Clarke tried to push her away from herself.

“Say that I was right.”

Clarke rolled her eyes, “You were right, okay? Are you happy now?”

“Very much so.” Raven dropped her head on Clarke's chest and closed her eyes, “You’re comfy. Lexa is one lucky bitch.”

“Get off my boobs.”

Raven shook her head, “No way. They're like pillows. I'm not moving.”

Clarke laughed, “Whilst I like your new appreciation of my boobs, I need to get up and get ready.”

“What for?”

“Work.”

“Oh, that's right!” Raven said, still not moving, “You’re gonna kill it. They won’t know what's coming.” she moved away from Clarke's body.

Clarke chuckled, “It’s just a job as a waitress.” she reminded, “Not that big of a deal.” she sat up.

“But you…” Raven grabbed both sides of Clarke's face, squishing her cheeks, “will be the best waitress New York has ever seen.”

Clarke couldn’t suppress her smile, “Thank you, Rae.”

Raven kissed her, “You’re welcome, Griff.”

Clarke wiped at her lips, “That was unnecessary.” she remarked, “Missing our college days?”

“Don’t flatter yourself, Griffin. You’re hot but you’re not my type. Besides, I don’t believe I can compete with Lexa.”

Clarke smirked, “You really can’t.”

“Ouch.”

“Were you expecting another answer?”

“Not really.”

Raven's eyes widened and she smiled. Clarke lifted an eyebrow, “What are you smiling about?”

“I technically just indirectly kissed Lexa Woods.” she announced victoriously.

“You’re an idiot.”

“Wait, kiss me again just to see.”

“Fuck off.” Clarke pushed Raven away, laughing, “And help me find an outfit to wear for my first day.”

“A thong.”

“Shut the fuck up.”

“Do you want my help or do you want me to shut the fuck up?”

“They're not mutually exclusive.”

“So smart.” Raven tapped on Clarke's head, “By the way, don't tell Lexa I exchanged saliva with you. I wanna stay in her good graces.”

“You couldn’t find any grosser way to say it?” Clarke scowled, “And why wouldn't I tell her that? You’re my best friend. It’s not like you’re a threat.”

“Again, ouch.”

Clarke walked towards her bedroom, pulling her closet open, “Should I wear a blazer jacket?”

“Bitch, no. You’re gonna be a waitress, not the CEO of a company. Besides, they’ll probably give you a staff uniform to wear. You already made it through the job interview. Why are you stressing about this now?”

Clarke shrugged and sighed, “What about this, then?” she held up a plain red shirt.

“There you go.” Raven said, “And put on your blue jeans. Your butt looks great in those.”

“You’re making it hard for me to believe that I’m not your type.” Clarke teased, bending over to pick up her jeans.

Raven smirked, “Lexa would agree with me.” she said, “Oh, and put on your leather jacket.”

“Okay, I get it.” Clarke laughed, “I really have to go now, though. I can’t be late on my first day.” she said, “Don’t blow anything up while I’m gone.” she pointed a warning finger at Raven before picking up her bag and keys, then she left the apartment.

 

 

\--------------

 

 

“Clarke!” Maya greeted her with a wide smile, “Congrats on getting the job.” she hugged the blonde tightly.

“Wouldn’t have gotten it without your help. Seriously, I don’t know how I can ever repay you.”

“No need.” Maya assured her, “I’m just happy we’ll get to work together from now on.”

“Me too.” Clarke mirrored the woman's smile, “Sooo, what can I do?”

“Easy, your shift doesn’t start until another hour. Come with me, I’ll introduce you to everyone and explain to you what you have to do.”

Clarke happily followed after her friend. She met Echo, Murphy and Emori, her new colleagues. They all seemed very friendly and so far, she already felt much more comfortable than she did at her old job.

It was freeing to be at work without having to worry about Niylah throwing another fit whenever she didn’t get what she wanted. She suddenly remembered something.

_My paintings._

She would have to go back in order to try and get her paintings back. At the time, she had agreed to hang them on the walls of the café for a large sum of money. Now that she didn’t work there anymore, she wanted to fight to get them back.

Someone snapped their fingers in front of her, “You okay there?” Echo asked, “You seemed a bit lost.”

Clarke smiled, “I’m good, just thinking.”

“Don’t hurt your head thinking too much.”

Clarke shook her head with a smile, “Anyway, we have to get to work.” she clapped her hands.

Emori narrowed her eyes, “Wait...I feel like I’ve seen you before. I just can’t place where and it’s bugging me.”

Clarke frowned, “I don’t believe we have met before so…”

Suddenly Emori’s eyes grew twice their size, “Holy fuck.”

“What?” Clarke asked, laughing.

 _“Holy fuck.”_ Emori repeated, jumping on her heels excitedly, “No fucking way.”

Clarke's confusion grew.

“Are you okay, Em?” Echo asked, one eyebrow raised in question.

“You’re the girl who's dating Lexa Woods!” Emori pointed a finger at Clarke.

Clarke instantly blushed at the sudden attention on her, “Oh, uh, no- I mean, yes but...it’s not that important. I mean-”

“Holy fucking shit!” Emori yelled again.

“Okay, it’s not really-”

“She’s so fucking hot!” Emori gushed, “How can you even- holy shit.”

“Em, you’ve said this about twenty times now. Let the girl breathe.” Murphy dropped a hand on his girlfriend's shoulder, “Sorry, she can be a bit...passionate about things.”

Clarke laughed, “I can see that.”

“Clarke, why are you not freaking out about this?” Emori exclaimed, “You’re dating the hottest and most talented actress in the world!”

Clarke smiled, “I try not to overthink it too much.” she admitted, “I was never a fan so it makes it easier, I guess.”

“You what? How could you not be a fan?”

Clarke shrugged, “I hadn’t heard much about her, except from what my best friend told me.”

“You’re a lost cause…” Emori sighed, “Could you introduce her to us, please, please, please.”

“Uh…” Clarke scratched the back of her neck, “Well, she's in L.A right now and I don’t know if she would want to but I guess I could try.”

Emori jumped into her arms and hugged her tightly, “Thank you!”

Clarke laughed when she saw Murphy and Echo roll their eyes at Emori’s behavior, “You’re welcome but I haven’t done anything yet.”

“Yes but-”

Emori's words were interrupted by the ringing of Clarke's phone, “Sorry.” she apologized, looking down at her phone.

Emori looked down and gasped, “It’s her!”

Clarke hushed her, “I need to take this.” she said before picking up the phone and walking away, “Hey, babe.” she smiled.

She heard a squeal behind her and knew Emori had followed after her, “Can I talk to her? Can I? Can I? Can I? Ca-”

Clarke covered the mic of the phone, “Okay, yes, you can.” Clarke sighed, “You’re highly persistent.” she said as she brought the phone back to her ear, “Lex?”

_“Clarke? What is going on?”_

“So, you know how I had my first day of work today…”

_“Yes. Is everything okay? Everyone is being nice to you, right?”_

“Everyone is being amazingly nice. Overly so for some.” she laughed.

 _“What do you mean?”_ Lexa asked in a confused voice which Clarke found adorable.

“So, one of my co-workers is a big fan of yours and she found out I was your girlfriend. She's next to me right now and nearly shitting herself with excitement. Can I give her the phone?”

 _“Sure, put me on speaker.”_ Lexa kindly said.

Clarke did as told and Emori's eyes widened, “Wait, I don't know what to say.”

 _“How about I do the talking then?”_ Lexa said, _“Hi, nice to meet you. I’m Lexa Woods.”_

Emori yelped, “I know! Oh my God, hi!” she all but shouted, “I'm Emori and I’m such a big fan, holy shit!”

Clarke smiled, “Babe?”

_“Yeah?”_

“You good if I leave you with Emori for a few minutes? I have to put on my work uniform.”

 _“Sure, I’d love to.”_ Lexa said, _“Go be amazing. I’ll call you tonight if I can’t catch hold of you again before then.”_

“Okay.” Clarke smiled, “Talk to you later.” she softly said before giving her phone to Emori, “Don’t yell too much.” she told her co-worker.

“No promises.” Emori said as she took the phone.

Clarke smiled and joined her three other colleagues a bit further into the restaurant, “So she’s a special kind of girl.” she grinned, hands on her hips.

“And you just gave her another reason to scream her love for Lexa Woods at me every night.” Murphy said, smiling when he heard his girlfriend shout excitedly in the distance.

“Stay strong.” Clarke tapped his shoulder and entered the back room to get changed.

 

 

\-------------

 

 

Clarke dropped down on a chair, “I’m tired. My feet hurt. My legs hurt. My back hurts.” she complained, “And I miss my girlfriend.” she added.

Murphy sat down next to her, “You’ll get used to it. As for your girlfriend, you could try calling her?”

“Yeah but she's probably filming right now and it still won’t be the same as having her here with me.”

“It’s better than nothing.” Murphy smiled, “You should call her. But please, make sure Emori doesn't overhear you. She would start yelling again.”

Clarke chuckled, “I’ll hide in a dark corner somewhere.”

“Good plan.” Murphy smiled, then grabbed a tray, “Back to business. We've got some tables to clean, partner.”

Clarke groaned, “I thought my shift was over.”

“Almost. There are five tables left that haven’t been cleared.”

“Can’t other people do it?”

Considering Echo and Emori have cleared two thirds of the tables already, I’m afraid it is our turn.”

Clarke jumped in surprise when her phone rang, “It’s her.” she gave Murphy a pleading look.

He rolled his eyes, “I’ll get a start on it but don’t think I’ll do your job for you.”

“I know. And I’ll clear two of those tables. Just give me a minute.”

“You’ll clear three of those tables.” Murphy said before walking away with a satisfied smile.

Clarke grinned and she called her girlfriend back immediately, praying for the call to be picked up.

_“Hey!”_

“Lex, god I’m so happy you called.”

_“Really?”_

“Yeah.” Clarke sighed contentedly, “I missed hearing your voice. Like, I really did and it’s so weird because I’ve never felt like that before but with you, I just-” she couldn’t explain it, “Anyways, I’m rambling.”

_“I like when you start rambling.”_

Clarke blushed, “The award ceremony is very soon.” she reminded, “Less than a month away.”

_“I know.”_

“You’ve been to dozens of those anyway. I don’t think you feel very nervous.”

_“Well, I’ve gone to a few ceremonies but I’ve only been nominated for an award twice and haven’t won one yet so I hope this year will be the one. I mean, I’d still be happy if I don’t win.”_

“You’ve never won an award?”

_“Not one of those. I’ve won seven awards so far but they were all minor in comparison.”_

“Well, I’m sure you’ll win this time. You deserve to more than anyone.”

_“I don't know. There are some pretty great actresses out there.”_

“Give yourself more credit.”

 _“Hey, speaking about the ceremony…”_ Lexa trailed off, suddenly sounding nervous.

“Yeah?”

 _“Would you…”_ Lexa paused shortly, _“Would you be my date for the evening?”_

Clarke's heart leaped in her chest, “Lexa…”

_“I would understand if you didn’t want to. I just really wanted to have you by my side for this but it’s okay if that’s not your thing.”_

“Lex, I’d love to go with you.”

_“Really?”_

“Yes.” Clarke smiled brightly.

_“Are you sure you’re okay with it? Cause once we are seen together at an event, the press won’t let us breathe, not even for a moment. That’s basically how celebrities make their relationships official.”_

“Babe?”

_“Yes?”_

“I want everyone to know that I’m yours.”

It was silent on the other end of the line. Clarke waited in silence for Lexa's next words.

_“Really?”_

“Really.”

 _“Okay.”_ she heard Lexa take a deep breath, _“But I need you to promise me something.”_

“What is it?”

_“I need you to tell me when you’re bothered by something that has to do with me, directly or indirectly. I don’t want you to deal with those things alone.”_

“I promise.” Clarke murmured.

_“You’re not just saying this so I leave you alone with this, are you?”_

“I’m not.” Clarke spoke honestly, “It helped me to talk about it with you this morning and I don’t want to hide things from you. It was stupid of me to think I could just go through that alone.”

 _“I’m glad I could help.”_ she could hear the smile in Lexa's voice, _“How was your first day?”_

Clarke grinned, “Exhausting.” her smile widened when she heard Lexa's laughter on the other end, “But it was to be expected.”

_“Were the customers nice?”_

“Most of them.”

_“What do you mean?”_

“There are always a few assholes here and there.” Clarke brushed it off, “It doesn't matter because my colleagues are very helpful. I’m really happy here.”

_“That’s great! I wish I could be there with you but I know you will kill it as a waitress.”_

“Thank you.” Clarke looked down, cheeks slightly flushed.

_“I’m also relieved that you aren’t working for Niylah's father anymore if I’m being honest. I didn’t like the way they were treating you.”_

Clarke could almost picture Lexa's face right now, a pout on her lips and her eyebrows scrunched together.

“Speaking of...I was thinking of trying to get my paintings back.”

_“The ones that are hanging on the walls of the café?”_

“Yeah.”

_“I thought they would give those back to you after you quit…”_

Clarke sighed, “It’s not that simple.” she revealed, “They gave me money for those pieces. A lot of money. I would have to find a way to buy them back from them. If not, I can kiss goodbye my chance of having them again.”

_“How much is it?”_

“I don’t know yet. I haven't spoken to the owner about it as of now. I’ll go before my shift tomorrow.”

_“Good idea.”_

Clarke looked at the clock and she sighed, “I hate to do this but I have to clear some tables and they will close up the restaurant in fifteen minutes so I have to hang up, I’m sorry.”

 _“Don’t apologize.”_ Lexa was quick to say.

“I know, I know.” Clarke said, “But we barely have the time to speak to each other and when we can, something always comes up…”

_“We’ll make it work. We’ll find a way to work around both our schedules, don’t worry.”_

Clarke found herself comforted by those words, “You're amazing, did you know that?”

She couldn’t see it but she knew Lexa was smiling. She just knew it.

 _“I'll call you tomorrow, okay?”_ Lexa said, _“And we’ll talk for more than ten minutes this time.”_

Clarke chuckled, “Okay.” she whispered.

_“Bye, Clarke.”_

“Bye, Lex.” Clarke hung up, then placed the phone against her chest and took a deep breath.

Just hearing her girlfriend's voice was incredible and brought immense comfort to her. Slowly, she rose from her seat and headed back towards the main room to clear the last few tables before going back home.

 

 

\-------------

 

 

“No.”

At least that was clear.

Clarke had stopped by her old place of work to ask if she could get her paintings back and this was the answer she instantly received.

“No?”

“We paid for these. Unless you can repay us a larger sum than the one that was given to you, I’m afraid these paintings are staying right where they are.”

“They're _my_ paintings _._ ”

“Not anymore. They've been sold to us and therefore now belong to us.” her old boss said, unwavering.

She spotted Niylah smirking in the background and glared at her briefly before looking back at her previous superior, “Fine, keep the paintings then.” she muttered through gritted teeth, knowing she'd never have enough money to buy them back.

She glared at Niylah's smug face once more before turning on her heels and storming out of the café.

“Assholes.” she muttered under her breath.

 

 

\-----------

 

 

_“I’m sorry, Clarke.”_

“It’s not your fault.” Clarke whispered into the phone, trying to push her disappointment to the back of her mind, “I should have expected this kind of answer.”

_“Still, it’s not fair.”_

“I made a deal with them. Should have known better.” Clarke sighed, “I think the worst part was having to watch Niylah look so fucking pleased with herself in the back.”

 _“I can’t believe her…”_ Lexa seethed, _“If I ever see her again-”_

“You won’t do anything.” Clarke interrupted, “Because I don't want you to get in trouble because of something like this.”

Lexa was quiet for a few seconds, _“Okay.”_ she ended up whispering, _“But I’m still annoyed with how things went down. You deserved to get those paintings back.”_

“I can make new ones.”

_“I know you can but it’s like…when you lose a dog, you can buy a new one but you’ll still miss the one you lost.”_

“Nice comparison. Is this your way of telling me that you’re thinking of adopting a dog?”

_“Well, not really what I meant but...I was kinda thinking of getting a dog. How would you feel about that?”_

“Why are you asking me? You can do whatever you want.”

_“Yeah, I know, but I want to include you in my decisions too. You're my girlfriend. I want you to know everything about me and to give me advice sometimes.”_

“I think you should get a dog.” Clarke smiled, “And I absolutely think that you should bring him or her with next time you visit.”

_“Dogs aren’t allowed on a plane.”_

“Don't you have a private jet?”

 _“I do not.”_ Lexa laughed, _“I don't need one so what would be the point?”_

“Being able to bring your dog on trips around the world?”

_“Good point.”_

“Does that mean you’ll buy a private jet?”

_“Never. Not even in your wildest dreams.”_

“Disappointing.”

_“Gold digger.”_

Clarke gasped, “Don't you dare.” she playfully said, “I’m far from being a gold digger.”

_“I know.”_

Clarke felt her eyelids start dropping. She yawned into the phone and fought off sleep.

 _“You sound tired.”_ Lexa remarked.

“I feel tired.”

 _“It’s late. You should go to sleep.”_ Lexa said, _“We’ll speak again another time.”_

“Wait.”

_“Yes?”_

“Can you stay on the phone until I’m asleep?” Clarke requested somewhat shyly, “I just don’t want to say bye just yet.”

 _“Sure.”_ Lexa softly said, _“I’ll just keep talking very quietly, alright?”_

Clarke hummed, closing her eyes and placing the phone next to her on the bed, putting her girlfriend on speaker.

She fell asleep midway through Lexa telling her about the time she and Anya had gone camping with their parents before realizing they weren't cut for the wildlife and booking a hotel room in a nearby town.

 

 

_\--Ten days later--_

 

 

Clarke frowned when a few days later, a set of her paintings was brought to her by a moving truck. They were the paintings which were hanging in her old place of work. The ones she had been told she wouldn't get back anytime soon.

“What is this?” she asked, “Who sent those?”

“Someone named…” the man looked down at his sheet, “Lexa Woods.”

Clarke's jaw fell. She watched, stunned as they kept moving her paintings inside the apartment. _Lexa? How did Lexa manage to get those paintings back?_ she thought to herself.

Once every painting had been brought into her apartment and she had thanked the man, closing the door after his departure, she pulled out her phone and dialed Lexa's number.

_“Hey, babe.”_

“Can you please explain to me why a dozen of my paintings were just brought to me when I was specifically told that I wouldn’t get them back?”

_“He changed his mind maybe?”_

“The delivery guy told me someone named _Lexa Woods_ was behind this.”

_“Okay so maybe I should have given him a false name.”_

“Lex, what did you do?” Clarke asked, sitting down on her couch.

She heard a sigh from the other end, _“Okay so, you know how he wouldn’t give them back to you without getting a large sum of money in return?”_

“Yes…”

_“Well, I might have bought the paintings from him so that they could be returned to you.”_

“Lexa!”

_“I hope this is your way of expressing your joy at hearing the news…”_

“Lexa, you shouldn’t have done that. What were you thinking?” Clarke exclaimed, rising from the couch to start pacing, already thinking of ways to get the actress's money back.

_“I just wanted to surprise you...I thought you would be happy. Are you mad at me?”_

Clarke's anger dissipated when she heard how small Lexa's voice sounded, “No, baby, I’m not mad, I just...I don't want you to fix everything for me everytime.”

_“Oh...I just thought…”_

“I know and it’s adorable that you wanted to help but I can’t come asking you for money whenever things don’t go the way I want them to.”

_“You’re not asking. I’m offering.”_

Clarke smiled, “And that’s really, really adorable of you but you didn’t have to do this for me.”

_“Okay…”_

Lexa sounded so defeated.

“I’m so sorry for getting angry with you.” Clarke all but whispered, “I just didn’t expect that but I really am thankful for what you did.”

_“Yeah?”_

“Yes.” Clarke smiled, “I just wish you didn’t have to do that, you know. But you did and it’s really kind of you. I don't want you to feel bad because of my reaction.”

_“I thought you'd be happy…”_

“I know, and I am.” Clarke assured her, “I am happy that you did it, I promise.”

_“You're not lying, right?”_

“Lexa, why would I lie to you? I’m so thankful that you did this for me. I’m mostly angry at myself for not being able to do it myself.”

_“I’ll always want to do things to make you happy.”_

“I know. And that's why I lo-” Clarke's eyes widened mid-sentence and she caught herself right on time, “That’s why you're you.” she said instead.

If Lexa caught her almost slip up, she didn’t comment on it, _“Your old boss is an asshole.”_

“Tell me about it.” Clarke smiled. She waited a few seconds before speaking again, “Thank you for doing this, Lexa. I mean it.”

_“Anything for you.”_

Clarke's heart jumped in her chest. She had to keep herself from spilling out just how much she cared about the other woman.

“I miss you.” she settled for instead, “I miss you so much that I can’t sleep sometimes.”

_Okay, so maybe that was too much information._

_“I miss you too.”_ Lexa confessed, _“I wish I could just hold you and touch you and…I just miss you.”_

Clarke felt relieved to know she wasn’t the only one affected by the distance separating them.

“Maybe we could facetime sometime?”

_“How about now?”_

“You're not busy?”

_“We just finished shooting for the day. We have eight hours before we start filming again.”_

“You should probably sleep then.”

_“I’d rather talk to you a bit longer.”_

“One hour tops.” Clarke said.

 _“Mm...okay.”_ Lexa sleepily said.

“You’re falling asleep on me.” Clarke accused, a knowing smile on her lips.

 _“No, I’m not.”_ Lexa answered, _“Not really. Now start a facetime call. I wanna see you.”_

Clarke laughed. She hung up and called Lexa back, turning her camera on, “Hey.” she whispered.

 _“You are so beautiful.”_ Lexa said in lieu of an answer, _“I can’t believe you're real sometimes.”_

Clarke smiled. Now more than ever she wanted to tell Lexa just how she felt about her but once again, fear and doubt stopped her.

“Thank you.” she whispered, looking down before snapping her eyes up to look at her girlfriend, “I…” she sighed, “I wish you were here. I miss your dumb face.”

Lexa laughed, _“My dumb face?”_

“Yes.” Clarke confirmed seriously.

_“Well, you can see it now.”_

“I know.” Clarke smiled, “You look beautiful.” she murmured, “And really

tired, you should go to sleep.”

 _“I can stay a bit longer.”_ Lexa insisted.

“No, you can’t. Get some rest. I’ll call you some other time.”

_“But-”_

“No buts.” Clarke instantly said, “If you want I can stay on the phone until you fall asleep.”

_“Please.”_

And Clarke did as promised. She begrudgingly hung up the phone once it became clear that Lexa had fallen asleep, too tired to fight it off any longer.

She placed her phone in a drawer and for the first time in forever, she reached into an old, nearly forgotten bag for the teddy bear her father had gifted her with when she was six.

She squeezed it against her chest but it did little to fill the hole left by her girlfriend's absence. She sighed, tossed and turned, but sleep wouldn’t come no matter what.

She gave up after awhile, figuring she would sleep later, before her shift. She wasn’t due to work until late in the evening which left plenty of time to catch up on the sleep she wasn’t getting at the moment.

She took her phone back and scrolled through her gallery of photos, grinning at one in particular. It was one of herself with Lexa, the other woman sporting a grumpy look.

 

 

_\--Flashback--_

_“Come on, just one.” Clarke insisted, “I’m not asking for much. Just one picture.”_

_“I don’t like taking pictures of myself.”_

_“I had barely noticed.” Clarke sarcastically said, “I mean, your instagram is filled with pictures of landscapes but none of you. That’s a shame if you ask me.”_

_“Why?”_

_“Because no matter how beautiful those landscapes are, I know for a fact that you are more beautiful.”_

_Lexa stared at her in silence, then started laughing, “What kind of lame pick up line was that?”_

_“The kind that was actually sincere.” Clarke rolled her eyes, “Just take the compliment, Woods.”_

_Lexa smiled. She reached for Clarke's cheeks and brought the other girl down until their lips met, “One picture. No smiling.” she whispered against Clarke's lips._

_“Yesss.” Clarke raised her phone high and grinned at the camera while Lexa crossed her arms, raised an eyebrow and merely looked at the camera, not smiling whatsoever._

_“Happy?”_

_“Very. Can I post it on social media?”_

_Lexa smiled at Clarke's obvious enthusiasm, “If you want to.” she agreed._

_“Yesss, thank you.” Clarke pecked Lexa's cheek._

_\--Present time--_

She sent her girlfriend a text, knowing that Lexa wouldn’t see it until tomorrow morning but wanting to send it nonetheless, hoping it might bring a smile to Lexa's face upon waking up.

**Clarke - 9.56pm:** _You’re quite possibly the best thing that’s ever happened to me (well, second best after the time Raven publicly admitted that I was smarter than her, but that’s a story for another time)_

 

 

 


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm very, very sorry it took so long

 

 

_ Fifteen days later _

  
  


“Okay, enough of that.” Raven said when she came home from work and saw Clarke lying down on the couch, a sad look on her features.

“I miss her so much, Rae.” Clarke said, checking her phone for any new messages and sighing when there was none.

“I know and I bet she misses you too but you can’t keep moping around like that.”

“I don’t  _ mope around”  _ Clarke defended, “I go out everyday.” she added.

“Because you are under obligation to do so because of your job. When was the last time we hung out with our friends?”

Clarke frowned, “I don’t know, a week ago?”

“Three weeks ago, Clarke.” Raven said, raising a knowing eyebrow, “Come on, get up. We're meeting with Octavia tonight.”

“She's home?”

“She's been home for three days, Clarkey. I’ve told you but you were so busy thinking about Woods that you didn’t listen.”

Clarke frowned, “Seriously?”

Raven didn’t reply. She simply looked at Clarke pointedly, arms crossed against her chest.

“Sorry…” Clarke said quietly, “I’ve been selfish lately, I’m sorry.”

Raven sat down on the couch, next to her best friend, “I get that you’re sad and that you miss her but you can’t shut us all out like that.”

“I know.” Clarke sat up and looked down at her hands, “I’ll come with you tonight.”

Raven grinned, “Good. Because trust me, Lexa wouldn’t want you to get like this everytime she isn’t here.”

“I know.” 

“Now go take a shower. You stink.”

Clarke gasped and she slapped Raven's shoulder, “I do not, you jerk. I showered last night.”

“Good for you. You're a decently clean human being. Now get up.” Raven smirked and slapped Clarke's butt when the woman walked away in direction of the bathroom.

  
  


\------------

  
  


“Damn, you look tired.” Octavia commented, “And that's coming from the girl who has been on three planes in the last twenty four hours.”

“It’s literally your job. You chose to do that for a living.” Clarke said, “And I know I look awful but could we ignore that and just skip right to the part where you hug me and tell me how much you've missed me?”

Octavia's lips shifted into a bright smile, “Come here, you big idiot.” she squeezed Clarke tightly against herself, “Now, I believe you have a lot to tell me.”

Clarke frowned. She yelped when Octavia grabbed her wrist and tugged her towards the nearest booth, “What could I possibly have to tell you?” Clarke asked, fidgeting on her seat to find a comfortable position.

“Tell me everything about Lexa Woods.”

“Oh, that.”

“Yes.”

“There isn’t much to tell.” Clarke rubbed the back of her neck, “We're dating, that’s all.”

“Griffin, don’t bullshit me. We haven’t seen each other in like a month and I want all the details, don’t spare any.”

Clarke smiled, “Okay.”

“Can’t resist me, Griffin.”

“You’re getting too cocky. Don’t make me reconsider telling you.” Clarke said, arching her eyebrow, “Anyways, um, where to start…”

“You could just tell me about her. What kind of person is she? And I don't want to know about the things we can read online. How is she really?”

“She's…so amazing.” Clarke breathed out, looking down at her joined hands on the table, “She's so selfless, you know? And I know the media keeps trying to bring her down and paint her as a bad and cold person but she’s the complete opposite. She’s kind hearted and caring like no one I've ever met before. She cares about her fans more than anything and when she loves, she does it without any restraint. She’s so passionate about her job, I swear, she could talk about it for hours, about her experiences on set or with fans and she’s so down to earth, you know, so humble.”

“You love her.”

Clarke's eyes widened and she was sure that, had she been drinking something, she would have spit it right out, “Whoa, hold on, we never said anything about that.”

“But you do. You love her.”

Clarke stared at her for a few long seconds before breathing out a sigh, “I do.” she admitted, “But I can't tell her.” she said, her eyes widening to support her statement.

“Why not?”

A deep sigh pushed past her lips, “It’s too soon, or at least it feels like it is, I don’t even know.” 

She wondered if there was some kind of time limit which, once you had moved past it, it became okay to spill those three words, to speak them into existence without fearing a negative reaction. She figured such a thing wasn’t real. Each relationship called for a different timing. And so far, their timing had been perfect, but what if it was still too soon?

Lexa had been busy lately with filming so naturally, her headspace was filled with other things to worry about, much more important things than Clarke's inner debate, or at least that’s how  _ Clarke _ saw it. If you asked Lexa, her list of priorities would be strikingly different from this one.

“I don’t think there is a specific moment where it becomes  _ okay _ to say it. If it feels right…”

“That’s the thing.” Clarke spoke, “It feels so damn right that I’m scared it’ll mess things up.” she leaned back against the back of her chair and rubbed her hands down the length of her face, “I don’t know, O. I can’t figure it out.”

Octavia moved forward. She leaned her body towards her friend and slowly lifted her arm before giving Clarke a slap on the forehead, “You, dumbass.”

“Ouch. What was that for?” Clarke scowled at her friend and rubbed at the reddened area.

“Has she ever made you feel like your feelings were unrequited or like she didn’t feel strongly about you?”

“Well, no.” 

“Then tell her!” 

Clarke pondered her words, weighing the pros and the cons, “I really want to.” she began saying, “But I’m so scared of taking the leap.”

“You shouldn’t be. If you have faith in Lexa's feelings for you, then you’ll know she’ll be there to catch your fall.”

Clarke smiled. She thanked Raven when the woman came back to their table with their beers, “What are we talking about?” Raven asked.

“Just catching up.” Octavia shrugged. 

Clarke sent her a thankful smile. She didn't feel like speaking about it a second time. She took a long chug of her beer, eyes zeroing in on the neon light sign by the entrance. She let herself get lost in her thoughts, completely tuning out her friends’ conversation.

“Griff.” Raven snapped her fingers in front of her face, “Stop daydreaming about Woods.” 

Clarke ignored her words and turned towards Octavia, “How long are you here for?”

“Two days but in three weeks I’ll take a break from work.” Octavia beamed, “Meaning, I’ll get to hang out with my main bitches.” she placed her arms around both her friends’ shoulders.

Clarke chuckled, “Finally.” she said, “We've missed you.” 

“I’ve missed you too, Griff.” Octavia pressed a wet kiss to Clarke's cheek, making her scowl in disgust.

“Gross.”

“Love you too.” Octavia grinned.

 

_ \--Three days later-- _

 

“Stop making fun of me and help me pack!”

Raven took a sip of her coke, slouching in the couch, “I’m good here.” she smirked, “Besides, it’s fun watching freak out over this. You’re leaving in two days, why are you in such a hurry to pack your stuff?”

“I want to get this done as quickly as possible.” Clarke said, “I don’t even know what I’ll wear to the ceremony. I don’t own any fancy dresses…”

“Uh, you own some pretty sexy stuff.”

“Yes but nothing beautiful enough for that kind of ceremony. Do you know how big of a deal that night is?” Clarke said, pacing back and forth.

Raven placed her drink on the coffee table, then reached for her best friend's hand, “Take a seat.” she demanded, “Okay, listen to me.” she licked her lips, “Why do you care so much all of a sudden? You’ve never been one to worry about those kinds of things.”

Clarke sighed, “I don’t want Lexa to realize that I’m not good enough for...for her status.”

“Bullshit.” 

“What?”

“Bullshit.” Raven repeated, “You  _ are _ good enough, and Lexa likes you for who you are. She doesn't want you to change for anything or anyone.” she pressed her index against Clarke's chest, “And you were the one claiming that you wouldn’t let Lexa's status get between anything.”

“I know.” Clarke said, “I know and you're right.” she conceded, “I don’t know why I’m freaking out about this. I guess...I just-” she sighed, “I know that night will be a big deal to Lexa and can be really beneficial to her career if she wins an award and I just want to live up to her expectations. I want to ensure it’ll be a great night for her.”

“And maybe you’re also scared of what making your relationship with Lexa official will entail for the both of you.”

Clarke kept silent and that was answer enough. Silence sometimes speaks louder than a thousand words. Raven placed a hand on her friend's shoulder.

“What are you worried about?”

Clarke shrugged.

“Don’t bullshit me, Clarke.”

Clarke dropped her face in her hands, avoiding Raven's questioning eyes, “I’m scared because...I have no idea what's going to happen and this fear of the unknown, it just makes me think of all the ways it could go wrong and all the ways the media could twist our relationship and lie about it, invent tons and tons of stories, each more absurd than the last one, how the public is going to believe those stories and it’s just an additional stress and I don’t want that to weigh on our relationship.”

“It won’t unless you let it.”

Clarke nodded, “I know. I feel like we're running in circles with this. I’ve lost count of how many times Lexa and I have had a conversation about this.” 

Raven wrapped an arm around her friend, “Maybe it's time for you to let go of your fear and to have faith in your relationship with Lexa.”

Clarke couldn’t argue with that. 

Her phone started ringing and her heartbeat quickened when she saw that it was Lexa calling.

“Answer her.” Raven held the phone up in her hand, giving it to Clarke who immediately picked up the call.

“Hey.”

_ “Hey, babe.” _

Clarke smiled. She would never tire of hearing Lexa refer to her with that term of endearment.

_ “I just wanted to make sure you’re not freaking out too much about the ceremony.” _

Clarke kept being surprised by how well Lexa knew her and how attentive and observant the brunette was. She somehow always seemed to know how Clarke felt and it was heartwarming.

“I’m a little nervous.”

Raven laughed at that,  _ “A little?”  _ she mouthed.

“A lot, actually.” Clarke corrected.

_ “I understand. I was like that too the first time but I assure you, everything will be perfectly fine. And if not, I’ll be by your side.”  _

Clarke felt a huge weight leave her chest. How was it that Lexa always knew what to say? 

“I don’t have anything to wear.” her shoulders sagged as the words left her mouth.

_ “I kind of took care of that. I hope you do not mind.”  _

“What do you mean?”

_ “You’ll see.” _

“Lexa! Tell me!”

She heard a light-hearted laugh from the other end,  _ “Now that would ruin all the fun. You’ll know soon enough.” _

Clarke sighed, knowing she wouldn't get an answer, “You won’t tell me even if I beg you, will you?” she asked for good measure.

_ “Never.”  _ Lexa confirmed her suspicions,  _ “How are you? I should have asked that first.” _

“Nervous.”

_ “Don’t be. It’ll be fine. I’ll be here the whole time and we’ll walk the red carpet together and you will look absolutely beautiful and I will be the proudest woman there, finally getting to show the whole world how incredible you are.”  _

Clarke melted, “I miss you.” 

_ “I miss you too.”  _ Lexa spoke softly,  _ “In two days, I’ll see you again. I can’t wait to pick you up at the airport. At what time does your plane land?” _

“Approximately 8pm.”

_ “I’ll be there.” _

“Even if they call you back for filming?”

_ “Filming can wait. Nothing is more important than you.” _

Clarke was gonna say it. She was going to blurt it out. She couldn’t keep it in any longer. Her hands grew clammy and her heart was beating faster than ever, threatening to break through her ribcage.

“Lexa, I lo-”

_ “-I have to go, I’m so sorry.” _ Lexa said at the same time, _ “Anya is calling for me and it looks important. Did you want to say something? I kind of interrupted you, I’m sorry.” _

“Oh no, it’s okay. I just wanted to say that I can’t wait to see you.” she lied, her rush of bravery having vanished.

_ “I can’t wait either. Talk later?” _

“Sure, talk later.” Clarke whispered, “Bye, Lexa.”

_ “Bye, Clarke.” _

Raven let out a loud whistling sound, “Damn, you were really about to say it, weren’t you?”

“Say what?” Clarke played dumb.

“Your weekly pizza order.” Raven sarcastically said, “I’m talking about the three scary words, you dumbass.”

“Yeah, well I’m glad she cut me off.”

“Why?”

Clarke dropped onto the couch, “Because I don’t want to say it through the phone. I want it to be in person if I ever say it.”

“So cute.” Raven cooed, leaning her chin on her hands as she lay on the ground on her stomach.

Clarke threw a pillow at her, “Shut it.”

“No, really.” Raven said, throwing the pillow back at Clarke, “I think it’s cute. I don't mean that as a mockery.”

Clarke's phone rang with a new incoming message. There was a picture file attached to it.

**Lexa (3.23pm):** _ Here’s an extended invite to Raven, if she wishes to attend the ceremony. Anya managed to get it for me _

Clarke looked at her best friend, barely able to conceal her grin. She relished in the utter confusion on the other girl’s face for a few seconds, “Please don’t jump on me but…”

“Spill it, Griff.”

“Lexa may or may not have just sent me a special invite for a certain someone to join us at the award ceremony.”

Raven took a few seconds to process the information, “NO WAY!?” she shouted and Clarke covered her ears because of how loud the shout was, “I’M INVITED?!”

“Yes, you are.”

“YESSS, I LOVE YOU!” Raven threw herself at Clarke, tackling the woman to the ground as she hugged her tight, “I’m going to one of the biggest award shows in the country, woah.” the information started to sink in.

“That you are.” Clarke smiled brightly, happy to see such joy etched onto her friend's features. Despite appearances, it hadn’t been an easy year for her best friend in between the stress of her job and a strained relationship with her parents which had only gotten worse over the years and Clarke was glad she could 

-thanks to Lexa- gift this to her best friend and unconditional supporter.

“And I’ll be there with my favorite girl.” Raven gasped, rolling off Clarke and lying on her back, her back aching from the contact with the hard floor but she couldn't care less at the moment.

“Aww, I love you too, Rae.” 

“I was talking about Lexa.” Raven quipped, laughing at the betrayed look on Clarke's face, “Just kidding, Griff. You know you’re my main bitch.” she grabbed Clarke's face and kissed her cheek, “I love you, you big idiot.”

“So now we also have to find  _ you  _ something to wear.” Clarke thought out loud, and smirked when she saw the wheels turning inside Raven’s mind, “Who’s the one freaking out now?”

“Not freaking out.” Raven said matter-of-factly, “Just trying to decide between all the great dresses I own.”

“You own two.”

“And they’re both magnificent.”

“One of them has a hole in it.”

Raven smirked, “Guess I know what I’ll be wearing then. The choice was easy.”

“There wasn’t a choice.” Clarke said, amused, “But you’ll look beautiful in whatever anyway…”

“So will you.” Raven said truthfully, “And Woods will swoon like never before. You might even get laid afterwards.”

“Not sure about that.” Clarke corrected, “We’re...we’re taking it slow. She wants it to be special.”

“That’s cool.” Raven hummed, “And kind of honorable on her part.”

Clarke's brow furrowed, “But what if it's just an excuse because she’s afraid to be intimate again?”

“Why would she be?”

Clarke shrugged, “She went through a lot recently. I don’t want to put more pressure on her than there already is.”

“Because of her coming out?”

Clarke bit her lower lip, “Amongst other things but it’s not for me to tell…”

Raven nodded in understanding, “Well, you go at whatever pace you both feel comfortable with.” she pushed herself up on her elbows, “We spend too much time on the floor while there are very comfortable couches right there.” the woman laughed, rising on her feet to then let herself drop into a couch with an appreciative hum.

“You’re the one who tackled me to the ground.” Clarke pointed out, joining her friend on the couch and bouncing a few times on it, before grabbing a cushion and holding it tight against her chest, “I’m nervous.” she admitted in a soft whisper, the words spoken as if they were meant to be kept a secret.

“You said that already.” Raven remembered, “And I’m pretty sure Lexa told you there was no reason to be so get that into that thick skull of yours.” she tapped her finger against Clarke's forehead.

Clarke smiled to herself. Raven’s and Lexa's words were running through her mind and she could almost convince herself she wasn’t freaking out about the ceremony anymore. She still was. Obviously. But at least, now she didn’t feel like her chest was tightening, crushing her whole diaphragm.

“You’re right. Both of you.”

“Of course we are.” 

 

_ \----Two days later--- _

 

Clarke jumped when she felt a hand on her knee, “What?” she asked, looking to the side at her best friend who had been calmly reading the brochures they usually distribute in planes.

“You keep bouncing your knee and it’s irritating me  _ and  _ the person to your left.” Raven pointed out, sharing a look with the elderly woman seated on Clarke's left to emphasise her claim.

“Sorry.” Clarke quietly apologised to the older woman, “I can’t help it, Rae.” she whispered loudly, “We’re landing in less than an hour and she’ll be at the airport. It’s been so long. What if it’s awkward and we don’t know how to act around each other?”

Raven rolled her eyes so hard, Clarke was afraid they would disappear behind her sockets, “That won’t happen. You have been speaking on the phone every day for the past month. If anything, she’ll just be more clingy and won’t want to leave your side, not even for a second. Is that really a bad thing?”

Clarke's mind started picturing it and a slow smile drew itself on her lips, “It would be heaven.”

“Gross.” Raven pretended to gag.

Clarke gave her a one arm hug, “We’ll try not to make you feel too much life a third wheel.”

Raven shot her a knowing smile, “You won’t even realise you’re doing it. You’ll be too busy staring into  _ the green forest that are Lexa's eyes and her smile and her beeeaaautiful hair and-”  _ she started imitating Clarke.

“Okay, I get it.” Clarke cut her off, chuckling, “Please don’t say shit like this in front of Lexa.”

“You’re no fun.”

  
  


\----------

  
  


Lexa's foot was tapping impatiently against the ground. She had been stopped well over thirty times by fans already, requesting a photo with the actress, amongst other things. She had feared it would make her late to the arrival hall but it turned out she was twenty minutes early. 

The wait was excruciating. It was the worst part. The build up to seeing Clarke again seemed insuperable. Her eyes were piercing holes in the arrival timetables, checking to see if the hour of arrival had changed or not.

She was holding a large bouquet of flowers in one hand and her coat in the other. All her senses were on alert and she jumped when someone tapped on the small of her back. She turned on her heels and saw a small girl, no older than five years old, looking up at her with pleading eyes while thrusting a baseball cap at Lexa.

“Can you sign this, please?” the little girl asked.

Lexa's nervousness left her for a brief moment and she crouched down to be at eye-level with the young girl, smiling up at who she assumed to be the mother, “Of course I can. I just need a sharpie and then-”

The little girl pulled out a sharpie of her pocket and Lexa grinned, dropping the flowers and her coat on the ground next to her, then taking the sharpie in her hand.

“You came prepared.” she smiled, “What’s your name, sweetie?”

The young girl blushed and looked up at her mother, too shy to speak. The mother placed a hand on her daughter’s shoulder and spoke instead, “Her name is Samantha, but we all call her Sam. She’s a big fan of yours. I still can’t believe our luck, running into you out of all people.”

Lexa's eyes lit up with joy and she uncapped the sharpie to write down on the baseball cap, “That’s a beautiful cap, Sam.” she commented, smiling kindly at the young girl.

“My father gave it to me.” the little girl spoke shyly, “It’s my favorite.” 

Lexa's heart swelled with endearment, “I can see why. It’s an amazing cap.” she finished signing and handed the sharpie and cap to the little girl.

“Mom, look!” the little girl exclaimed.

Lexa smiled as she watched the mother's face fill with happiness for her daughter, “It’s great, sweetie.” the woman said, placing the sharpie back into her handbag and placing the cap on the top of her daughter’s head. She then turned to Lexa, “Her father died last year and this was the last gift he gave her, that’s why it means so much to her.”

“I’m sorry.” Lexa offered.

The mother gave a sad, tight lipped smile in thanks, “Sweetie, why don’t we take a photo?”

“Yes!” the girl jumped excitedly, “Can we, please?” she asked Lexa who nodded, moving so she was crouching next to the girl, her arm wrapped around tiny shoulders.

“Thank you.” the mother said, shoving the phone back in her pocket. Her eyes then caught something behind Lexa and she pointed at it, “I think someone is here for you.” she told the actress with a gentle smile.

Lexa turned around and the small smile she had been sporting turned into a wide grin, “Clarke.” she breathed out, rising back to her feet.

“Hey.” Clarke all but whispered.

Lexa felt a tug on her pants and looked behind her at the little girl, “Yes?”

“Is that your girlfriend?” the little girl asked in what she intended to be a whisper but was actually spoken loudly.

Lexa's smile widened, it that was even possible, “Yes, that’s her.”

The little girl gasped, “She's beautiful. Like a princess.” 

Lexa's heart grew twice in size when she heard Clarke laugh lightly behind her, “Don’t tell her but I think she’s the most beautiful girl in the world.” she said, loud enough for Clarke to hear.

The little girl laughed and placed her finger above her lips in a secret motion, “Shhh...” she let out, giggling.

The mom grabbed her daughter’s hand, “It’s time to go, honey. Say goodbye?”

The little girl nodded and waved at Lexa but the actress crouched down to give her a hug, swooning when tiny arms wrapped around her neck, “Bye, Sam.”

“Bye, Lexa.” the little girl cheerfully said, “Bye, princess.” she then waved at Clarke before leaving, hand in hand with her mother.

“A princess, huh?” Clarke grinned.

Lexa grabbed the flowers and her coat and handed the bouquet to Clarke, “You’re even more beautiful than a princess.” she murmured, “These are for you.”

Clarke grabbed the flowers, then surged forward, pulling Lexa into a tight hug which was reciprocated immediately, “I missed you so much.” 

Lexa smiled, “I missed you more.”

She heard groans and that’s when she realised Raven was there too, carrying hers and Clarke's suitcases, “Thanks, Clarke for helping me. Appreciate it.” her voice dripped with sarcasm.

Clarke pulled away from the hug and winked at her best friend, “Anytime, Rae.”

“Hello, Raven.”

Raven let go of the suitcases and she hugged Lexa tightly, nearly knocking the air out of her chest, “Hi.” she whispered, humming happily, “You smell heavenly.”

“Thank you?” Lexa laughed.

“Okay, Raven, let go of my girlfriend.”

Lexa laughed and as soon as Raven’s arms were off her body, she wrapped hers around Clarke's waist, gently drawing her into an embrace.

She heard the sound of cameras going off before the flash blinded her and she groaned against Clarke's shoulder, “For fuck’s sake.” she mumbled.

Clarke moved away from Lexa's arms and took hold of the woman's hand, “Let’s go home. You can greet me properly there, when there won’t be anyone to disturb us.”

Lexa's smile stretched and she let herself be led through the airport, Raven begrudgingly rolling the suitcases behind them, trying with difficulty to keep up with their frantic pace. 

Clarke pushed past paparazzi, shielding Lexa with her own body but there were too many. Soon, they were surrounded by both paparazzi and fans who all were calling out to Lexa's name, asking for a picture or a confirmation on whatever rumour had recently been spread.

“Where are you parked?” she asked Lexa as she pressed the elevator button.

“Two floors down.”

Clarke nodded, then angrily turned towards the remaining paparazzi, cameras pointed at them, “Do you mind leaving her alone for two freaking minutes?!” she snapped.

A few paparazzi walked away while others, seemingly unbothered, kept their position, and tried to push their way inside the elevator with them. They would have succeeded, had it not been for Raven guarding the door and slipping inside at the last second with the suitcases.

Lexa looked at Clarke in awe when the blonde gave the finger to the paparazzi right before the doors closed, “That was kinda hot.” she breathed out.

Clarke's cheeks flushed and she mumbled a quiet  _ you think? _ Lexa confirmed by nodding her head eagerly. 

“Alright, lovebirds. I’m still here, remember?” Raven spoke up, “So please, keep the making out part for later.”

Lexa threw Clarke a smirk and the blonde almost shivered at the implication of it. The brunette's eyes scanned her whole body and the actress then winked, adding to Clarke's flustered state.

Lexa leaned closer and lowered her voice to a whisper, “You look absolutely breathtaking.” 

“Thank you.” Clarke replied, equally quietly, then got on the tip of her toes to peck Lexa's lips. The brunette tried to chase after her lips but Clarke put her finger against plump lips, “Later, baby.”

The doors opened and they stepped out. Clarke took her suitcase from Raven’s hand, “Oh, you finally decided to pull your suitcase. How considerate.” Raven deadpanned, drawing a smile from Clarke and a quiet laugh from Lexa.

As soon as they reached the car, Lexa opened the trunk and lifted the two suitcases inside. Clarke's jaw fell as she admired the way Lexa's biceps flexed while doing so.

“See something you like?” Lexa lifted a knowing eyebrow.

“Yeah.” Clarke licked her lips and Lexa winked at her before shutting the trunk and walking towards the front of the car. She opened the door to the back seats, “Miss Reyes.” she gestured at the inside and Raven grinned as she climbed inside.

Lexa then opened Clarke's door, then made her way towards the driver’s side, not without pressing a kiss on her girlfriend’s cheek.

She turned the key in the ignition and grabbed Clarke's hand, bringing it to her lips, “I’m so happy you’re finally here with me.”

Raven pretended to gag and Lexa laughed, placing her hand on the gearshift to pull out of the parking spot. She smiled when she saw Clarke fumble with the radio to connect her phone to it and put some music on and rolled her eyes when she recognised the song.

“Really?”

Clarke's eyes were bright and her smile was wide when she nodded, “It’s a good song.” she defended.

Lexa wouldn’t argue with that and she even found herself singing along when the chorus played.

_ Tell me why _

_ Ain’t nothing but a heartache  _

_ Tell me why _

_ Ain’t nothing but mistake _

_ Tell me why _

_ I never wanna hear you say _

_ I want it that way _

Raven joined them quickly after and a few seconds later they were singing the lyrics at the top of their lungs, the car roof open  _ -as per Raven's request. _

  
  


\------------

  
  


Clarke immediately put the flowers in a water vase when they walked inside the house.

“Raven, you can choose whichever room you want among those on the second floor.” Lexa said and as soon as the words left her mouth, Raven sprinted upstairs to discover the rest of Lexa's house.

“HOLY SHIT!” they heard her exclaim, “YOU GOT A FUCKING JACUZZI!”

Clarke frowned, “This isn’t the house we were in last time.” she noted.

Lexa nodded, “I have two houses in LA. The other one, a more modest one, which is the one I showed you the first time, and then this one.”

“Why only showing me this one now?”

Lexa smiled, “I didn't want to overwhelm you, you know. Too much, too soon. But I guess since you made the effort to come all the way here for me, it’s the least I can do. Only the best for you, right?”

Clarke sighed contentedly and she pushed on Lexa's shoulders, backing her onto the couch before climbing onto the actress’ lap, “And now we’re finally alone.” she breathed out.

Lexa's lips shifted into a bright smile, “Finally.” she whispered before capturing Clarke's lips in a passionate kiss, “I missed this so much.” her kisses grew hungrier by the second and soon, her hands were slipping under the blonde’s shirt.

“Easy, stud.” Clarke laughed, “We have all the time in the world.” she cupped Lexa's cheeks, joining their lips in a slower, deeper kiss, slowing the kiss without decreasing its intensity.

“I missed you.” Lexa whispered, “I missed holding you.” Kiss “and I missed your lips,” Kiss “your smile,” Kiss “and your eyes. God, I really like your eyes.”

Clarke smiled and detached their lips so she could look into the green eyes she had missed so much, “You are so beautiful.” she murmured, tracing the brunette's features with her fingertips, gliding them down rosy cheeks, and resting them on plump lips before dipping her head and catching Lexa's bottom lip between her teeth.

“Oh, hold on.” Lexa remembered something. She put her hands on Clarke's hips and connected their foreheads, “I gotta show you something.” she pecked Clarke's lips then moved the blonde off her lap and onto the couch, next to her, “I’ll be right back. Stay here”

Clarke bit her lip, “Aye, aye, captain.”

Lexa was back a couple minutes later, balancing multiple items of clothing in her hands, “I didn’t know which one you would like best so I bought three of them.” she placed them on the coffee table and Clarke gasped.

On the table were lying three dresses, each more beautiful than the other, “Lexa…” she breathed out, eyes wide.

“What?” Lexa's heartbeat picked up, “You don’t like them.” she said dejectedly, “I can get another one at the store if you want, it’s not that far from-”

“Lexa.” Clarke cut her off, “I love them.” her eyes bore into Lexa's and she shook her head in disbelief, “That must have cost so much money...I can’t accept it.”

Lexa smiled, relieved, “You deserve only the best. Besides, it’s a gift for me too.” she smirked.

“How so?” 

“Getting to see you in any of those dresses is a treat for me.” Lexa explained, “You’ll look absolutely magnificent in them.”

Clarke surged forward and tackled Lexa to the floor, arms wrapped tightly around the brunette's neck whose body cushioned the fall. Lexa winced when her back hit the hard floor but she repressed a groan of pain and instead relished in the way Clarke was pressed against her.

After a few minutes, Clarke pushed herself up and kissed Lexa fervently, “You are amazing.” 

“Not as amazing as you.” Lexa retorted, tucking a strand of blond hair behind Clarke's hair.

“I leave for five minutes and y’all are already having sex on the floor?” Raven's booming voice made them jump apart.

Clarke rolled her eyes and sat upright, smiling knowingly at Lexa who was still lying on the floor, leaning back on her elbows and admiring all of Clarke.

“Raven?” Lexa said, not detaching her eyes from Clarke's.

“Yes?”

“Why don't you go downstairs to check out my home cinema?” 

“I know this is your way of getting rid of me but fuck it, you have a fucking home cinema?! Bye, losers!” she shouted before sprinting down the stairs, nearly tripping but catching herself on time.

Clarke tugged on Lexa's collar, pulling her into a sitting position so she could climb into her lap, “You love sitting on top of me, huh?” Lexa said, smirking.

“Yes.” Clarke didn't bother denying it, knowing it wouldn’t be believable anyway. She rested her hands on Lexa's toned stomach, gasping when she felt hard abs under her fingertips.

A smile tugged at Lexa's lips and she looked up at Clarke, “You’ve gotten handsy.” 

“I haven’t seen you in weeks, mind you.” Clarke retorted, “I missed you.”

Lexa grabbed the back of her neck and pulled her in for a tender kiss, sighing in contentment.

“Lexa…”

“Hm?” Lexa hummed and shifted her kisses to the blonde's neck, smiling against smooth skin.

“I want to try on the dresses.” Clarke said longingly, moaning softly when Lexa's lips reached her pulse point.

Lexa detached her lips from her skin and nodded, moving to get up but Clarke shook her head, “What?”

“Carry me.” Clarke said, grabbing the dresses and holding them in her right hand while her left one held onto the back of Lexa's neck.

Lexa laughed, shaking her head, then managed to get up while supporting Clarke's weight, struggling only slightly, “You can change in the bathroom at the end of the hallway.” she said as she climbed the stairs, then lowered Clarke to the floor, arms still wrapped around her waist, “I’ll be waiting in the bedroom.” 

Clarke pecked her lips and walked towards the bathroom, swaying her hips seductively, causing Lexa to bite her lip.

  
  


\-----------

  
  


Lexa looked up from her phone when the door to the bedroom opened and her hand unclenched, letting the device fall onto her carpet with a soft sound.

“Wow.” 

Clarke scratched the back of her neck, “What do you think?” she asked, looking down at the red dress she was wearing.

[the dress](http://eliza-taylor.org/gallery/displayimage.php?pid=84)

“Clarke...you look…” Lexa was speechless. She walked closer to Clarke and put her hands on her hips, gently turning her around, “You look absolutely gorgeous.” she breathed out.

Clarke smiled, “Don’t you think it's too provocative?” she looked down at the generous cleavage, brows scrunched up in thought.

Lexa shook her head, “Not a chance. You will be the most beautiful person in the entire room.” 

“You don't want me to try on the other dresses?” Clarke smiled.

“I really like this one but I’m kinda curious about the other two.” Lexa sat back down on the bed, “How did I get so lucky?” she wondered aloud.

Clarke planted a brief kiss on Lexa's lips, then left the room to try on the two other dresses.

Lexa found the other dresses beautiful but she eventually reiterated that she loved the first one more and Clarke just had to agree. 

She sat on the bed, her shoulder brushing against Lexa's, “I still can’t believe I’m going to go to an award ceremony.”

Lexa placed her arm over Clarke's shoulder and smiled when the blonde buried her head in her neck.

“I hope you’ll win this award. I know it means a lot to you.”

Lexa was taken aback. She hadn’t really put much thought into winning to be entirely honest because she didn't want to be disappointed if she ended up losing but Clarke was right, it meant a lot to her. This could really help her career.

Due to her depression, she had accepted less and less jobs and had she not already been on a show, she would have been pretty much inactive in terms of work for the past year. 

“Thank you.” she kissed the top of Clarke's head, “And I hope so too, baby.” the term of endearment rolled off her tongue easily.

“Did you-”

“Oh my god!!” Raven appeared in the threshold, eyes wide and a grin plastered on her face, “You have a pool table?! Can we move in forever?” 

Lexa laughed and stared right into Clarke's eyes, “I’d love that.” she murmured. She knew it wasn’t possible but it didn’t hurt to hope for a future together with her girlfriend.

Clarke returned her smile and kissed her lips. Raven ran back down the stairs, “THIS HOUSE IS AWESOME!” she yelled.

Lexa laughed along with Clarke and she looked down at her girlfriend, “Maybe we should get Raven before she breaks anything.”

Clarke kissed her jaw, “Good idea.”

She pulled on Lexa's hand and the other woman happily let herself be led downstairs. A whole two weeks with Clarke sounded like heaven and she would enjoy every second of it.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> What did you think of the chapter? Feedback is always greatly appreciated  
> Thank you to nrcda88 who is the beta reader for this story and the others :)


End file.
